Goddess isles boxed set, p.46
Goddess Isles Boxed Set, page 46
Green this time.
Mint and apple, spinach and spirulina. The flavours punched through the taste of day-old kisses, helping to freshen my mouth and body, bringing me back to life.
After a few painkillers and vitamins, I crawled from the bath in much better condition than the last time I’d faced Euphoria. Either my body had begun to increase in stamina or the first fantasy had been more vigorous. Either way, flashes of being bent over the couch, having a man press his fingers inside me, thrusting his body into mine...they came and went, casting my skin in shame and puckering my nipples with need.
I dried off and cleaned my teeth, avoiding the sorest parts.
Doing my best to walk as normally as I could, I dropped my towel and piled my long hair onto my head in a messy knot. I had no energy to brush the tangles today. Maybe after food I would.
For the first time since I’d woken, I looked outside. I expected to see bright sunshine. A welcoming afternoon just waiting for me to flop into the sand and allow its rays to heal me like last time. Unfortunately, twilight cast the island in dying sunlight, shadows crept from their corners, etching palm trees with darker colours and the sand a muted gold.
I slept all night and day?
I frowned, trying to work out timeframes. It’d been late afternoon when Sully stuck his tongue between my legs, then loaded me into his new guest’s illusion. He’d made me come then sent me to be molested by another man.
My heart folded into itself.
How could he?
Shaking away the question, I balled my hands.
He can because he owns me. I’m nothing...even if I’m something.
I didn’t know how long the fantasy had lasted or when I’d been brought back to my villa, but I could’ve slept for eighteen hours or so.
Turned out the kayaking adventure, cage, and Euphoria had all taken their toll.
Heading into the walk-in wardrobe, I tried not to focus on the hangers missing clothing that I’d taken and lost in the storm. With a shaky hand, I chose a loose-fitting black maxi dress. The soft material kissed the top of my feet while the straps rested low on my shoulders, creating a floaty boho look. With tendrils of my hair escaping my topknot, I looked so young.
Young but ancient.
Innocent but well-fucked.
Tearing my eyes from the mirror, I walked to the centre of my villa. Outside on the deck, an array of delicacies waited to be eaten. My stomach growled to devour every morsel.
But...last time I’d stay cloistered in my villa after Euphoria, Sully had visited. We’d eaten together. We’d stolen moments from our otherwise clear-cut existence and muddied them with desire.
If I wanted to avoid being emotionally tortured anymore, I had to become something he avoided at all costs.
I had to become Neptune and Calico and Jupiter. I had to turn my back on Jealousy who had secrets about Sully, who genuinely believed something could happen between us, and become a goddess he couldn’t care less about.
That was my protection.
The space I needed to survive.
With my hands balled, I stepped from my villa and headed toward Divinity.
* * * * *
“Jinx...”
I sucked in a breath, freezing in the middle of the path.
A male voice, not female.
Tears pricked my eyes for no other reason than I’d had my fill of men. My body still carried two men’s marks, one physical, one emotional. My mind wasn’t ready to face more turmoil.
Footsteps quickened, linking the detached voice with its owner.
Roy Slater.
The man from the beach when Sully and I had arrived from Serigala. The man who probably heard me ask Sully to like me as an animal before he sent me away so he could negotiate my service.
Roy Slater was the guest who fucked me last night.
All colour drained from my body.
I stared at a total stranger.
A stranger I knew absolutely nothing about but had been extremely intimate with. He seemed normal, kind even, watching me with concern and affection. But...the fantasy last night? God, why did he have such twisted desires to sleep with his son’s girlfriend? Was that true in real life or simply an erotic daydream he’d acted out with me?
He was handsome for an older man. Trim and healthy with a perfect white smile. He raised his hand as if to touch me.
I couldn’t control my response.
I reeled backward, almost tripping into a spray of purple orchids. Orchids that gave their magic to Sully to make his foul elixir.
“Whoa, careful.” He reached for me again, cupping my elbow with gentle fingers. “You okay?” Once he knew I had my balance, he let me go, retreating to a more appropriate distance.
I didn’t speak. I choked on words and had nothing to share. I didn’t know how to unscramble the fact that this man had been inside me. He’d been on his knees with his entire face between my legs. He’d made me scream. He’d driven into me over and over again.
Yet he’d covered up who he was by choosing the face of another. He’d asked Sully to program him as slightly younger, slightly taller, and probably a lot more endowed.
“Jinx, I—” His cheeks pinked. “I’m glad I found you. I’ve been searching for you all day.”
His embarrassment granted a salve to my own shame. My knees locked, and I stood straighter.
Just as he’d camouflaged who he was, my goddess name deleted everything I’d ever been. Would he still stare at me with lust and awe if he knew I’d only finished school a couple of years ago? Would he still remember touching me, fucking me, with satisfaction and pride if he knew I’d been stolen from my family and friends?
My stomach clenched on self-pity.
I’d promised myself I wouldn’t wallow. Catching up on sleep ought to give me courage to keep going in this torturous existence, but my heart was drained. My heart that gave me a well of strength and optimism was empty, wrung dry by a man who cared more for an ant than he cared for me, and cracked thanks to this guest who took what he wanted from me and now had the audacity to believe there was mutual affection.
“How...are you?” he asked softly. His gaze staying on my face rather than trespassing on my body.
My nostrils flared with a blend of fury and frustration. Fury that this guy was nice. That he’d done something as gross as paying to sleep with me but had the compassion to check up on my well-being. And frustration because, it seemed Sully was right. Humans couldn’t be trusted. This man probably had a doting wife at home who believed he was at some work conference. We were all liars and selfish to our own gains...over other’s misfortune and pain.
At least my temper gave me my voice back. Squaring my shoulders, I replied, “Do you honestly care how I am?”
He flinched, dropping his gaze awkwardly to the sand.
Was I expected to ask about his welfare? To be grateful? Did Sully have a handbook on how a goddess was to treat a guest after Euphoria? Because in my mind, this man had taken all he’d get from me last night. Today, I hadn’t been forced to drink a drug or have my senses stolen from me.
Today, I wasn’t for sale.
I have another week until I’m up for rent again.
The morbid thought made me want to laugh for no other reason than helplessness. How many did Sully say I’d have to sleep with? One-hundred-and-ninety-two?
I still have one-hundred-and-ninety to go.
I sighed heavily, wrenching the guy’s gaze back to mine. He no longer looked at me with rosy-coloured afterglow but an honest, raw expression that made my stomach tighten.
“Look, I know you’ll think low of me. After all, I paid money to enjoy your company. I’m probably over double your age. And you most likely didn’t enjoy our night together as much as I did.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth. “But...I need you to know that I enjoyed every minute of it. I loved how eager you were. How receptive. How damn beautiful you are. I know your participation came from the serum Sinclair has created but I just wanted to say you gave me something I’ve been missing since my wife died ten years ago.”
I froze as his voice wobbled without warning.
He smiled even as tears wetted his eyes. “Fuck.” Swiping away his grief, he added, “Sorry, I don’t know why the hell talking about her is affecting me so much. It’s been years but...after last night...it reminded me just how much I miss female company. How much I miss being touched and touching someone. How much I miss looking after someone.”
I flinched as he strode toward me and took my hand.
I wanted to pull away, but the imploring look on his face made me pause. He didn’t strike me as evil or that I was at risk of being made to sleep with him again while alone on this sandy laneway. He honestly looked lost. Lost, alone, and terribly sad.
“Do you judge me for my fantasy?” His eyes tightened. “That you were in the role of my son’s girlfriend?”
I wriggled my fingers in his, trying to get away. I couldn’t exactly tell the truth, but I wouldn’t lie, either. Then again, why couldn’t I tell him the truth? Hopefully, he was leaving tonight, and we’d never see each other again.
Pinning him with a cool stare, I said, “Yes, I judge you. Why have such a fantasy if it’s not based on truth? Why fantasise about your son’s girlfriend? If you miss your wife like you say, then why not fantasise about her?”
He sighed, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. Unlike when Sully touched me, I had no sizzle, no spark. Just the annoying stroking of a man who carried far more baggage than his happy-go-lucky veneer suggested. He needed a therapist, not a goddess.
“I think about my wife constantly.” He shrugged. “But I don’t think about her when she died. I remember her how she was when we first met. Young. Vulnerable. Trusting and full of unconditional affection. Unfortunately...my daughter-in-law looks very similar to my wife... with the same blind devotion.”
“Devotion to your son. Not you.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“It’s abhorrent to lust after your son’s partner.” My nose wrinkled. “What sort of father does that make you?
“A bad one.” He flinched. “I’m aware it’s a disgusting confession. But you have to understand, my son met his girlfriend on the two-year anniversary of my wife’s death. When he brought her around, I almost fell to my knees thinking my Jody had been reincarnated in her. Watching them fall in love, seeing how much they cared for each other, being forced to realise that I would never have that with my wife again...it...” He sighed again. “It scrambled me a little. I witnessed them falling in love and went along for the ride. I fell for my daughter-in-law, not because I loved her exactly, but because I loved what she would give my son. What a relationship meant. How damn lucky they were to have each other. How much I missed that bond.”
Ever so slowly, I extracted my hand from his control. “Look, I’m sorry you’re hurting, but you can find another to love. Losing someone to death is tragic, but you need to allow yourself to heal.” I blinked, surprised that such compassion had risen, despite my reservations of this whole interaction. “And I suggest you keep such unacceptable desires hidden.”
My stomach growled, reminding me I needed to eat. I needed to seek out the other goddesses and try to find a way to become one of them so Sully left me the hell alone in the future.
Roy Slater rolled his shoulders and nodded sadly. “I know. And I have tried, believe me.” He licked his lips. “I’ve dated. I’ve done the online thing and even let a few friends set me up, but...” He chuckled low. “All women my age either have their own heartache, are too independent, or just want me for my money.” His gaze rose, once again snaring mine. “I want a girl I can dote on. Someone young who needs me, not just wants me. I’m a wealthy man, and I want to spend that wealth making her happy. It would...fulfil me and stop me being so empty.”
I swallowed, searching for a reply. “I’m, eh...I’m sure you’ll find such a person.”
“I did.” He arched his chin. “I found you.”
“What?” I coughed. “No, no. You found a fantasy. That’s what this whole island is. An illusion.”
He shook his head. “You’re not. You’re special. You’re different.”
How often had I thought those words about Sully? How sometimes, I thought he felt the same way about me. Different meant ‘You stand out to me over all the others.’ Special meant ‘You could be what I’m looking for’.
Both those words did not relate at all to this situation with Roy Slater.
Ugh.
I didn’t know being a whore also came with being a counsellor too. I wanted to leave. I stepped away to do so, but Roy murmured, “I’m in love with you. I know that’s crazy to say after just one night, but the moment I saw you get off that helicopter with Sinclair, I knew you were it for me. I want...I want to take you home with me. I want—”
“Wait.” I laughed.
I couldn’t help it.
“You want to take me home?” I rolled my eyes. How ludicrous. How absolutely fucking crazy. Truth suddenly overflowed and exploded from my mouth. “You know I already have a home, right? A home that I was stolen from, family who probably think I’m dead. Do you know Sully doesn’t hire us but buys us to pleasure you? Why do you think I want to go home with you, when all I want to do is go back to where I belong?”
Roy stiffened. “I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing.”
He didn’t act as if hearing of my captivity was news. He didn’t respond like a normal man should after hearing a woman was trapped and used against their will. His sob story of missing his wife, of wanting a replacement to dote on...it wasn’t sweet, it was sickening.
He wanted a toy to play with, a mannequin to dress up, and a blow-up doll to fuck.
Well, fuck that.
I’m done.
“Coming to this island was the wrong thing,” I snapped. “Thinking you can buy me like he did? The worst possible thing.” Storming up the pathway, I shuddered as his voice followed me.
“I love you, Jinx. I do. I’m not lying. I love you, and I’m going to find a way for us to be together.”
I broke into a run.
Skittles fluttered from the undergrowth, her little wings snapping and zipping her through the air beside me.
She sensed my turmoil. She collided with the eddies of my distress, sorrow, and rage.
But she never left me.
And together, we flew as far away from men as we could.
Chapter Thirty-One
“I’LL GIVE YOU A million.”
“Excuse me?” I looked up from my morning coffee, sitting on the veranda overlooking the guests mingling below.
Roy Slater stood in front of my table in the exact spot where Eleanor had launched into me with all her bottled hate and disgust two weeks ago. It’d only been our second official meeting, but even then, I knew she was different...special.
That I had met my match and would severely fucking pay.
Placing my iPad next to my coffee that held a screen full of medical text on a new Alzheimer drug that Peter Beck wanted to test on a trial of fifty willing and paid human guinea pigs, I studied Roy Slater.
He was due to fly off my island tomorrow morning. All his bills were settled. His signed NDA locked in my safe with copies lodged with my lawyer. He’d come to paradise, slept with a goddess, and now would return to his humdrum life and forever remember the experience that I’d given him.
I wanted to fucking kill him.
But...I wouldn’t.
Because that would be bad for business.
He ran a hand through his hair, looking dishevelled and rushed. A far sight from the man I’d met on the beach who’d negotiated for Eleanor’s company. “A million.”
I cocked my head, my silver aviators protecting my eyes from the tropical sun. The sun had reached a scorching thirty-eight degrees centigrade today, ensuring I wore a cream linen suit, rather than dark cashmere. Even with a white shirt and no tie, I still fought my body’s urge to sweat.
After work, I planned to vanish into the sea for the rest of the afternoon. To allow the ocean to wash away my heat and my constantly consuming hunger for Eleanor.
I could still taste her.
Her pussy on my tongue. Her release in my mouth.
Fuck.
I’d woken with my hand fisting my cock this morning and cum all over my stomach. Denying myself while awake ensured I’d started dreaming of her at night. Even with distance between us, I was slipping. Falling in ways I couldn’t fucking permit.
“A million for what precisely?” I asked softly, smoothing my lapel. A Hawk diamond flashed in my cufflinks.
I narrowed my eyes. Had Roy Slater bought her a diamond? Would Jinx earn another precious stone? If each guest fell in love with her, she’d have a fortune by the time I let her go.
Goddammit.
That thought blew another hole in my chest.
My hands itched to grab the spoon by my coffee to scoop out his eyes. To remove all his memories of the girl who belonged to me in every fucking way.
“For Jinx.” He swallowed hard. “I want to...eh, buy her. To request a trade.”
I stiffened in my chair. “A trade?”
“Cash for your goddess.” He nodded. “I give you my word I’ll look after her. I’ll respect her. I would never share her, and she’d be given a life fit for any princess.” His voice lowered with need. “I want to look after her. To love her.”
Ah, Christ.
Men were so goddamn predictable.
This wasn’t the first time a guest had asked to take a girl home, and I’m sure it wouldn't be the last. I never said yes. Ever. I could never be sure of the girl’s well-being or trust the word of a gentleman who came to my shores.
But...
Ever since standing over Eleanor while she slept, I’d done my best to fix my problem. I wanted her gone but didn’t necessarily know how. If I just let her go...she could tell anyone about my little operation here. If I killed her, she’d haunt me for the rest of my fucking days.
But...if I sold her...
My heart crashed and collided with my ribs, but I yanked hard on its leash, making it cower in the corner.
