The little italian hotel, p.10
The Little Italian Hotel, page 10
Stage Three. Resentment and bargaining.
Hold back your negative thoughts. They’ll make you feel bad when you need to be strong. This isn’t a time for begging and bargaining. Assessing your own needs and desires, and putting them first, will prove to be a powerful tool. Good luck.
Ginny straightened her back, telling herself she was doing well, considering the circumstances. She was actually starting to have a good time and it was Adrian’s loss that he wasn’t here in Italy with her. They’d had some great times together on previous holidays.
In one hotel, the maids had folded their towels, like origami, to resemble swans. They’d looked more like dodos and Ginny and Adrian had laughed so hard they cried. In Tenerife, the sea stole Adrian’s swimming trunks, so he’d had to perform a naked dash along the beach to reach his towel. Ginny had kept inching it away from him, giggling as he tried to grab it. A woman covered her toddler’s eyes, protecting him from the sight of Adrian’s bare bottom, which had made Ginny laugh even more. She loved their candlelit dinners sampling local delicacies and stumbling back to their hotel room together after drinking too much wine. They lazily made love knowing they could stay in bed each morning without being awoken by an alarm clock.
Now that they were apart, was Adrian remembering all their good times, too? Or was he still intent on pursuing a divorce? She hoped his actions had been a heat of the moment thing and that he was taking time to collect his thoughts.
Thinking about him made her neck feel hot and Ginny pulled her nightie away from her skin. She lowered her chin to blow onto her chest.
Her mum used to lower her voice whenever she talked about menopause, calling it “the change.” It had arrived early for her, in her early forties, and Ginny had thought it sounded mysterious, like a magic trick performed on stage behind a satin cape. Perhaps a shiny top hat would disappear to be replaced by a cute bunny.
“The change” seemed to spark a fresh resolve within her mum, prompting her to issue an ultimatum to Ginny’s dad about their marriage.
While Ginny waited for her hot flash to subside, she heard a thudding noise outside her room, following by a female voice muttering. Ginny listened more intently—could Edna be sleepwalking? She peered at her watch and saw it wasn’t yet 6:00 a.m. When another bang sounded, she slipped on her dressing gown and crept across her room.
Ginny inched her door open to find Loretta crouching down on the landing. Her white cotton dress hung off one shoulder and her smudged eye makeup looked raccoon-like. She picked up one high-heeled shoe then the other. “Shhh,” she said, pressing her finger to her lips. She tiptoed barefoot toward her room and smiled secretively before slipping inside.
Somewhere in the distance, Ginny heard a moped chugging away and couldn’t help wondering what adventure Loretta might have been on. It made her feel rather envious. About to close her bedroom door again, she heard creaking along the hallway downstairs. Someone else was up and about, too.
Thinking Nico might have woken up early to prepare breakfast, Ginny padded down to offer to help. She assumed he didn’t know Loretta was creeping around at dawn. Father and daughter must have just missed each other.
She almost collided with Curtis who jumped back with widened eyes. He was fully dressed in his customary white sports gear and instantly moved his phone away from his mouth. “Oh, hey, Ginny,” he said.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Recording a few thoughts,” he replied, as if it was obvious.
Ginny noticed a notepad tucked into his pocket. In the dimly lit hallway, she could see the paper was topped with the Splendido logo.
“Also, writing a letter or two...” Curtis added. He deftly swerved around her and headed toward his bedroom. “Catch you later.”
Ginny’s eyes narrowed as he closed his door. There was no sign of Nico around, so she retreated to her own room. She showered, washed her hair and let it dry loose. It was a relief to shave under her arms, and to wear deodorant, mascara and lipstick again. She placed The Power of Two back on her bedside table and thought about Adrian. Was his profile still on the ChainReaxions website?
She checked it out on her phone, hoping that he’d deleted his photos, but he was still there grinning out at her from behind his mirrored sunglasses. She needed to be a member of the site to view his full profile information and additional photos.
Although she knew it would be torturous, Ginny had an insatiable desire to take a look. What was her husband seeking out that she wasn’t currently offering him?
She quickly entered her email address, adding a fake name and location. She became “Jenny” from Leeds rather than Ginny from Greenham. Following Adrian’s lead, she shaved four years off her age.
Her new account allowed her to view several more images of her husband. He wore a wolfish grin in each, mainly posing alongside flashy cars at work.
How well do you know your husband? Miss Peach’s words nagged in her head.
Ginny’s ribcage tightened as she read on.
Adrian, 45. Caring, loving and honest (Ha! Ginny thought). Loves cars and the simple things in life. I’m a down-to-earth family man with a lovely grown-up daughter. I’m at the end of a long-term relationship and feeling bruised, so I’m primarily looking for friendship. If you’re chilled out and like coffee and good conversation, you might be my kindred spirit.
Ginny almost choked. Her husband describing himself as caring? She hadn’t seen much evidence of that recently. She was the one who cooked their meals, who bought family birthday cards and always cleaned the bathroom. And kindred spirit? The words made him sound like Heather.
Ginny dissected Adrian’s sentences and supposed no one would ever describe her as chilled out. Her anger slowly subsided, replaced by a gloom that made her bones feel leaden.
Was she looking at the real Adrian on the site, or a persona he’d invented? He wasn’t the only one feeling confused.
At least it sounded like he was looking for a brew and a chat rather than a torrid affair. If he’d been conversing with any women online, Ginny could only hope they’d quizzed him about his situation and given him good counsel.
She had to accept that Adrian no longer felt the same way about her, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about him. Would telling him about her worries have made a difference in their relationship? Had she also been projecting a persona to her husband, and to the world, that wasn’t truly her?
She felt devastated that Adrian was willing to liaise with strangers online while avoiding any contact she tried to make with him.
Ginny spun her wedding ring around on her finger and couldn’t help questioning if she was still attractive to other men. She was sure admiring glances in the street had died out a decade ago and she’d never thought she’d miss the occasional toot of a car horn. She used to hate it when it happened.
She brushed a hand through her hair and pondered what would happen if she uploaded photos of herself to the site. Would anyone want to send her a wink?
After reading Adrian’s profile again, she needed to feel desirable again.
Ginny changed into her new zebra-print dress and used a scarf as a headband around her hair. It had already lightened a little in the sun and her sunglasses covered a lot of her face. Instead of smiling, she pouted and took a couple of selfies on her phone, making sure her face was half-hidden in the shadows. She felt ridiculous but her shots looked rather sultry, like she was a different person completely.
She uploaded the images and took a long time to perfect her profile.
Jenny, 45. Friendly and caring. Living in Leeds. I’m a real people person who loves cooking, shopping, reading and helping others. I’m looking for someone I can be myself with. People think I have all the answers when really, I don’t. I’ve been badly hurt recently and am trying to rediscover the real me again.
When Ginny read her words back, she bit her nails, recognizing she’d managed to express her own vulnerability for once. Pretending to be someone else had allowed her to open up. She’d never revealed this side of herself to Adrian or her friends before and it brought a tear to her eye. On ChainReaxions, she and Adrian were two people on display while hiding a different side to their lives, like the Duke and Duchess of Urbino.
She checked her watch and saw that time had flown. It was now past 9:00 a.m. and she’d probably missed breakfast. She hoped the others wouldn’t mind.
Gazing at Adrian’s profile again, her finger hovered above the pink winking-face icon. He was avoiding all her attempts to contact him, so what other option did she have?
Before she could talk herself out of it, Ginny sent a wink to her husband.
14
Chapel
Ginny found a completed batch of heartache forms waiting for her on the breakfast table. Edna had particularly enjoyed the paintings by Titian and Raphael, and the lovely gardens. Her heartache rating had dropped from a nine to an eight.
Heather claimed the paintings of cherubs in the Uffizi had “spoken to her soul,” and she’d adored all the artsy shops in the city. Her heartache score had made promising progress, too.
Ginny sighed when she saw Curtis had written Not Applicable across each section of his form in thick black letters. He’d left his suggestion box and heartache score uncompleted.
Only Eric had suggested something to do next.
Hiking. Meet on Thursday in the courtyard at 6:00 a.m. Wear strong footwear.
Ginny blew out her cheeks. She didn’t relish the start time or the activity, but at least he’d put forward an idea.
The table was full of used breakfast plates and bowls and she carried a pile of them toward the kitchen to help out.
Nico and Loretta stood side by side, washing sheets in the sink. They didn’t notice Ginny standing behind them, in the doorway. They were talking in Italian and their voices rose in volume, culminating in Loretta throwing up her hands in frustration. Soap suds flew off her fingertips.
The teenager picked up a towel, dried her hands and stormed off, squeezing past Ginny without acknowledging her.
Nico spun around and his face crumpled. “Lolo...” he called after his daughter.
Ginny tightened her grip on the crockery, feeling like she’d been caught eavesdropping.
“Ginny,” Nico said, his voice all flustered. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you...” He took the plates from her.
“I just arrived,” she said quickly. “Sorry I missed breakfast. I didn’t notice the time.”
“I can get you something, coffee or a croissant...” He looked around him without focus.
“Don’t worry, there’s still a few things left on the table. I can help myself.” She paused for a moment. “Is everything okay with Loretta?”
Nico’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “We had an argument about the bedsheets. She reminded me that Grand Hotel Castello Bella Vista has a laundry room with washing machines we could use. I told her there is nothing wrong with soap and sunshine.”
“I bet the sheets dry more quickly on your washing line,” Ginny said.
He cast her a grateful smile. “She wants me to visit Gianfranco’s new spa. Apparently, his guests wear fine clothes and have good taste. She said I am stuck in my ways and this is why her mother left. I called her Lolo, Maria’s name for her and...” He looked down. “She didn’t like it and has told me never to use it again.”
Again, Ginny wanted to know where Nico’s wife was, yet the sadness in his eyes prevented her from asking him. “Eric wants us all to go walking tomorrow. Perhaps you’d like to join us for some fresh air?”
Nico thought for a moment. “Yes, I would like this, though I doubt Loretta will want to come, too.”
“Eric wants to set off at six a.m. Can we take something with us for breakfast?”
“Of course. I will arrange it.”
A stilted pause followed and Ginny’s gaze fell upon a pink glass vase. “That’s very beautiful,” she said.
Nico picked it up. “It belongs to Maria. She forgot to take it with her. It will be here for her when she returns to Splendido.” His words were doleful with only a hint of hope.
Ginny rocked on her heels a little, wanting to say something that would make him feel better. “I think your hotel is charming. If it was big and luxurious like the white castle, it wouldn’t have the same friendliness and character.”
Nico set the vase back on a shelf with a thud. “Thank you, that is kind of you, though I think Loretta is right. Splendido is not a good place for excitement or romance and I need to change it. I just do not know how.”
* * *
When Ginny, Eric, Heather, Curtis and Nico met the next morning, the moon was still visible, a crescent of platinum in the sky. Ginny had convinced herself that a hike meant a leisurely stroll, until she spotted Eric’s boots caked in mud. Her Converse lace-ups were the most sensible shoes she’d brought on holiday and she wore them with thin white socks, her jeans and a cashmere sweater.
“What’s the plan for the day?” she asked Eric.
He shrugged a shoulder. “Walking.”
Curtis interjected. “I think Ginny is asking where we’re walking to? What’s the strategy? How far are we going and how long will it take?” He tapped his G-Shock watch. “I have a Zoom at noon.”
Eric didn’t reply, acting as if he hadn’t heard.
“It takes twenty-five minutes to walk into Vigornuovo village,” Nico told Eric. “The countryside looks pretty as the sun rises.”
Eric nodded and pointed in the opposite direction to the castle. “Then we’ll climb that hill.”
Ginny shuddered at the word hill. It looked steep and possibly too challenging for Edna to tackle. “Has anyone seen Edna this morning?” she asked, looking around her. “A hike might prove difficult for her to...”
There was a cough and the elderly lady appeared in the doorway of the hotel. “I am actually here, not a figment of your imagination,” she said snippily. “I can walk and talk for myself.”
Nico stepped forward. “We are only thinking of your comfort, Edna. Did you know that Vigornuovo is so beautiful a film called A Glorious Escape was made here? There is a display of costumes in the town hall. Actor Tim Vincenzo’s trousers are so small they could fit a doll.”
Edna lifted her chin. “I’ve seen the film several times and he looked much taller than Sharon Sterling.”
Nico whispered in her ear, “Camera tricks.”
Edna stared dreamily across the village square. “Sharon Sterling wears a vintage red Chanel dress when she dances around the fountain with Vincenzo,” she said. “It’s exquisite, made from the finest silk.”
“You can see that dress and others, too,” Nico said. “If you do not want to climb a hill, you can stay in the village. There are several cafés and shops to visit.”
Edna hitched an inquisitive eyebrow.
Ginny thought Edna looked like she’d be more interested in clothes on a supermarket clearance rack rather than couture. Perhaps there was more to her than met the eye.
As they all set off walking along the bumpy road, Nico’s minibus had never looked more inviting. Eric led the way like a shepherd taking his sheep to new pastures. They were all accompanied by the tinny sound of hip-hop coming from Curtis’s headphones. It prevented Ginny from asking how he was feeling.
After half a mile she spotted a roadside sign for Gianfranco’s hotel.
Grand Hotel Castello Bella Vista.
Spa. Pool. Luxury Rooms. Six stars.
Nico stared resolutely ahead, refusing to acknowledge the white turreted building on top of the hill.
Ginny dropped back to walk with Edna.
“I’m fine, sturdy as an ox,” Edna rasped. She flexed her arm to display a slender forearm with pronounced blue veins, and a half plum–sized bicep.
They all walked over a medieval stone bridge that curved above a rushing river. An archway led them into the heart of Vigornuovo village where narrow cobbled streets meandered and washing lines laced the old buildings together like a corset. Stone walls were the color of vanilla ice cream and roof tiles were burnt orange. Terracotta plant pots sat on every corner, springing with multicolored pansies, and a black cat slinked lazily across their path.
The main village square was waking up and coming to life. Edna’s eyes lit up when she saw the famous fountain from A Glorious Escape. Water cascaded onto the heads of four stone dolphins. “It’s magnificent,” she exclaimed, after catching her breath.
Coffee bars had huge striped umbrellas and tiny iron tables outside. Cups and saucers clattered, and two men stood talking and smoking on a corner. Nico chatted to them for a while before gesturing for everyone to follow him toward a building with a tall carved oak door. He produced a large key and opened it, inviting Edna to follow him inside.
He reappeared a few minutes later, alone. “Edna is staying here to look at the costumes. I knew she would like them,” he said. “The building does not usually open until later, so she is receiving a special viewing.”
Eric nodded toward a long passageway with a glimpse of emerald countryside beyond it. “Let’s climb,” he said.
For the first half hour of their trek, Ginny didn’t really look around at the vineyards that made stripes on the hill and the clusters of white villas with autumnal-colored roofs. Instead, she ruminated on future conversations she might have with Adrian, trying to solve all their problems in her head. Perhaps they could see a marriage guidance counselor, when she got home, so they could find a positive way forward.
Ginny might use an abdomen cruncher and walk to work, but she couldn’t call herself fit. Pain soon shot up her shins and she pressed her fingers into a stitch in her side. Heather slowed down to join her.
“You’re fitter than I am,” Ginny panted.
