I cant help it, p.1
I Can’t Help It, page 1
COPYRIGHT
Copyright © 2023 by Pixie Perkins
All rights reserved.
This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any electronic or mechanical means—without prior written permission of the author (Pixie Perkins).
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Character Illustration by @the_shattered_jar on Instagram
CONTENT GUIDE
Hello, lovely reader!
Before you start reading, here’s a list of what you can expect and NOT expect from this book…
Death of parents in a plane crash (past)
No sex, but lots of kissing/making-out
Talk about spiders, and a non-descriptive death of one (RIP, fictional spider)
First person/present tense/dual POV
She falls first but he falls harder
Zero curse words
Only one bed
No cheating and/or no love triangle (I swear!)
Some innuendo
Mostly fluffy, a little angsty, always swoonworthy
An epilogue? OF COURSE!
For every girl who falls first.
If he really is “the one,”
chances are he will fall even harder.
CONTENTS
1. Everything was Fine
2. Bro-Code Exists for a Reason
3. This is a Horrible Idea
4. Team Luke
5. Like Some Kind of Scoundrel
6. A Question List
7. What Am I Doing Wrong?
8. The Lodge
9. Something Is There
10. Mixed Messages
11. I Will Not Kiss Ava
12. Ask Me
13. We’re Good Together
14. Our Eight-Legged Intruder
15. Hallways Can Be Tricky
16. I’m in Heaven
17. But I Want to be Selfish
18. Is He Naked in the Next Room?
19. So Freaking Good
20. A Familiar Lazy Grin
21. Just the Two of Us
22. I Can’t Do This
23. Boy Trouble
24. Work-Trip Fling
25. Life Is Weird Sometimes
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Bonus Scene
COMING SOON!
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EVERYTHING WAS FINE
Ava
You’re probably wondering how I ended up here, as the woman drooling over her ex-boyfriend’s best friend? Or maybe you don’t give two craps about my mess of a love life.
Ha. Well, either way, grab your popcorn and get comfy because I’m going to explain how I fell for Luke Tanner.
First off, you need to know that Wyatt and I did NOT break up because of Luke. After three months of dating, the two of us realized our relationship just wasn’t working out anymore. No one was to blame…but we both knew it needed to happen.
Simple and painless. No hard feelings. No sloppy aftermath.
And when Luke became my coworker at Time Well Spent Events almost four months ago, I didn’t think anything of it. We always got along well, and he knew the breakup was on good terms. Everything was fine.
But then everything WASN’T fine.
Soon, I found myself noticing little details about Luke. Details that I never noticed about him until we were around each other at the office.
Like his chin dimple. I thought it was weird, now I think it’s adorable.
His smooth voice. I swoon every time I hear him answer the phone.
His addictive cologne. I love getting a whiff of that clean/spicy combo.
The way he squints when he’s laughing. It’s so freaking wholesome.
The way he habitually orders some kind of salad for lunch. Couldn’t be me, but I admire his dedication.
Oh! And the way he writes everything down in one simple black pocket-sized notebook. That detail really stuck out to me since I have a billion sticky notes all over my desk.
Anyway, I started noticing different things about Luke, and it wasn’t long before I started crushing on him. Yep, I’m living proof that twenty-five-year-olds have crushes.
I obviously didn’t plan on falling for him. It just…kind of happened though.
You know, like when you go to the store for like two things but end up leaving with a cartful of stuff instead? That’s how I became the owner of a banana slicer. It seemed like a valuable asset to my kitchen, but after I almost cut my finger off—
Maybe this wasn’t the best example. Never mind.
Ugh.
My point is that falling for Luke was an accident.
And now I’m left wondering if he harbors secret feelings for me, too. Truthfully, there hasn’t been a lot of solid evidence, but for the past month or so, I’ve been finding any excuse I can to talk to him.
Today’s excuse is probably my lamest attempt so far.
“The printer is jammed?” Luke asks with creased eyebrows. “That’s weird, it was fine a second ago when I used it.”
Mmm, that voiceeeee. I could listen to him say anything. He could say that he hated me, and the words would sound heavenly.
“Yep, the printer is totally jammed.” I know this, because I was the one who purposely loaded the paper incorrectly after he walked away. “And I need to print something.”
“Well, I assumed that’s why you were trying to use the printer.” He gives me an easy smile as he leans back ever-so-slightly in his desk chair. “What did you need to print?”
A valid question, considering my job is usually checking out potential locations online (or in-person) and connecting with clients to discuss what their corporate event visions are.
The office printer and I don’t spend a lot of time together.
“One of the toilets isn’t working in the women’s restroom.” I try my best not to stare at his chin dimple. “So, Colton asked me to print out a sign for the stall.”
Colton’s the guy in charge, by the way.
And before you get any crazy ideas, I promise that I didn’t mess up the toilet as part of my little scheme. I just got really lucky. However, I know Patricia would disagree about the toilet malfunction being lucky, since she was the one who found out it was broken way too late.
I guess you could say she’s in a crappy mood now.
Man, do I crack myself up.
I tilt my head to the side. “I can just figure it out though if you’re super busy.”
After all, I know how to handle a paper jam. Especially one that I caused.
Please don’t say you’re super busy.
Luke runs a hand over his short, blond hair. “I’m just looking at the plans for that on-site visit.” He then motions toward his desk before standing up. “It’s next week and I still don’t understand how I got roped into doing it.”
“You’re the newest addition to the team, and Colton likes to challenge recent hires; it’s like an initiation.”
Personally, I think on-site visits are a lot of fun. That’s how I’ve ended up doing most of them. But I know Luke is more involved with the marketing and logistics aspect of our event planning, so it makes sense that he isn’t thrilled about the change of pace.
“I just hope it all goes smoothly,” he says as we walk over to the printer. “The pictures online looked promising, and Colton really liked the location I picked out.”
I flash him a flirty smile. “Well, I’m sure it’s a great location.”
“Hmm,” he hums as we stop in front of the printer, “I guess we’ll see.”
Apparently, not flirty enough.
I hold back a frustrated sigh and watch as he drops to one knee, so he has better access to the printer’s paper tray.
It honestly looks like he’s about to propose.
Why am I jealous?
Printer: 1
Ava: 0
“Well, here are the pages that were stuck.” He stands up with the slightly crumpled papers in hand. “It should be good now.”
He gives me the pages, causing a DELICIOUS, tingly sensation to zap through me as his fingers touch mine. It’s only a light brush—but I have to remind myself to breathe—and the moment has me feeling like Elizabeth when Mr. Darcy helps her into the carriage. Can Luke feel that tension too?
His melty caramel eyes study my face for a second or two, and I would give anything to know what he’s thinking right now.
Okay, maybe not anything. I can’t imagine a life without my main necessities: chicken nuggets, cucumber-melon body lotion, and cardio workouts. There’s no way I’d be able to give up my three C’s. But I’d be willing to part with something less important.
Like—NAIL POLISH! Yes, I could live without nail polish.
Although, I recently changed my colors to welcome the fall season, so that would be a significant loss.
“I should probably get back to those plans.” Luke yanks his hand away from mine. “If you have any other problems with the printer, just let me know.”
Dang it, no hand-flex…
He gives me a curt nod, looking anywhere but at me, and then he walks back to his desk.
Do I glance over my shoulder t
It’s a blessing, and it helps ease the disappointment of our short-lived interaction.
I take the long way to my desk, making sure to breeze by Luke’s desk, just so he knows I’m still around. Not that he’s forgotten already, but I’m pathetic.
Then, after I print the sign for the bathroom stall and tape it up, I let Colton know it’s been taken care of.
“Thanks, Ava.” He pushes his glasses up like he does all the time. “The plumber should be here tomorrow.”
“Cool, I’ll pass along the info.”
“Oh, Ava,” he says as I start to leave, “there’s something I want to discuss with you really quick.”
Ha, that doesn’t sound good.
“Am I getting fired?” I blurt out, unable to stop myself. “I mean, I love it here, and I can take on more responsibility if—”
“You’re not getting fired,” he interrupts with a laugh. “I can always count on you to be thorough with your on-site visits, and our client base has grown substantially since you started working here. It would be stupid of me to fire you.”
“Oh. Well, thank you, Colton.” I awkwardly clear my throat. “That means a lot to me.”
“You’re most welcome.” He proceeds to fold his hands over his desk. “Now, what I wanted to discuss with you is the on-site visit I have Luke working on.”
I blink at him. “What about it?”
“Luke will be going over to a new location next Saturday, and then he’s going to spend some time there to see if it’s a good retreat option for us to offer our clients. And even though I wanted this to be a solo project for him, the poor guy has been paranoid about it, so I think it’d be beneficial for him to have a helping hand.”
He’s right, Luke is way more anxious about this visit than I’ve ever been with any of my visits. I realize that traveling to various places and experiencing different things isn’t for everyone but—
Wait.
Is he saying what I think he’s saying?
“I’d like you to go with him,” Colton says with a firm nod. “You did such a great job with your last on-site visit, and I think having someone with him during the trip will help ease his nerves.”
A work trip with Luke? Just me and him? Spending mandatory one-on-one time together?
“Ava? Would you be okay with that?”
I try to keep my grin from being too wide. “I’d love to help.”
Help myself to finally catching Luke’s attention.
“Great!” he exclaims, looking relieved. “I’ll let him know. I’m sure Luke will be happy to hear it.”
I hope so.
It’d be pretty disappointing if he didn’t want me around.
BRO-CODE EXISTS FOR A REASON
Luke
Being around Ava is like drowning.
No matter how much I try to fight the waves of attraction I feel for her, they overtake me every time. Deeper and deeper. One glance from those playful, green eyes and I’m a complete goner.
Too bad she’s my best friend’s ex.
Yeahhhh, I’ve done my research. If you look at my browsing history, you’ll see where I asked the internet if it was okay to date your best friend’s ex-girlfriend. Some sources informed me that it doesn’t matter, and I should just shoot my shot. Other sources informed me that I was a human trash can, and I could kiss my friendship goodbye forever.
I’ve known Wyatt since we were kids, there’s no freaking way I’m going to lose my best friend because of some girl.
Dang.
Ava isn’t just “some girl” though. She’s THE girl. The one who’s confident. And funny. And straight-up gorgeous.
She’s straight-up off limits.
Right.
Wy would never date one of my exes, and I wouldn’t date one of his. I’m hoping that repeating the same thing to myself as often as possible will finally help me accept it.
So far?
No luck. And I’ve been trying for a month.
I still want her anyway.
“You’ve got those lines across your forehead again,” Wyatt says after swallowing his food. “What’s up? You stressed out?”
Something you need to know about me, is that I don’t rock the boat. I don’t stir the pot. I’m allergic to conflict. So, in situations like this, it’s easier to just change the subject.
“There’s some sloppy joe on your arm.” I don’t hide my scolding tone as I offer him a napkin. “I swear, I can’t take you out anywhere.”
Wyatt, being Wyatt, ignores the napkin and proceeds to lick the saucy ground beef mixture off his bicep instead.
I scowl at him. “Dude, come on.”
“What? Sloppy joe is too valuable to waste. I regret nothing.”
Do you regret breaking up with Ava?
The question is on the tip of my tongue, like it always is, but I never ask him. I guess I’m too worried about what his answer will be. Even though the breakup was “mutual,” I really think Wy would start dating Ava again if the opportunity was there. And he would freak out if he knew she’s been flirting with me at the office.
Yeah, a freight train is more subtle than Ava. I’d have to be stupid not to realize that she’s interested in me, even if she shouldn’t be.
“Luke?” Wyatt asks, waving the napkin in front of my face. “You still with me?”
“Uh-huh. Sorry.” I rub the back of my neck. “Did you say something else?”
“That blonde at the bar keeps looking at you, man.” He wiggles his dark eyebrows at me. “You haven’t noticed her?”
No, of course I haven’t noticed her. I’ve been thinking about Ava this whole time. Other women in my age range exist? Since when?
“Maybe she’s looking at you. Did you think about that?”
“Nah, I’m not on her radar, I can tell.” He shrugs before stealing one of my fries. “And besides, you know I’m not back in the dating game yet.”
Yep, it’s one of the main reasons I think he’d date Ava again.
“Well, you could always do a trial run,” I suggest, trying to keep my voice even. “Go on a date and see if you’re ready.”
“Okay, Mr. Romance,” he says with a smirk, “when was the last time you even went on a date?”
“We’re not talking about me.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Actually, we were until you started talking about me instead.”
The bicep-licking dweeb has a point.
“I’ve been busy with the new job.” It’s mostly true. “But once I’m better adjusted, I might pick up dating again.”
Even if it’s just to forget about Ava and every interaction I’ve had with her.
I know that’s impossible, though, because I can still feel the warmth and sparks from when her fingertips touched mine today at work. I could go on hundreds of dates, and none of them would mean anything to me.
“Are you still worrying about that on-site visit?” Wyatt asks, folding up the paper sleeve from his straw. “Because you’re basically getting paid to take a vacation, bro. That’s not something to stress over.”
I let out a mild bitter laugh. “Considering I’ve never done a freaking on-site visit before—yeah, I’m still worried. I need to make a good impression, Wyatt. The pressure is real.”
“It’ll be fine,” he verbally waves me off. “How much could go wrong?”
So much. So much could go wrong.
The lodge I’ll be staying at could have a random invasion of termites. The local fall festival hosted there could be canceled because of a bizarre pumpkin shortage. The food could taste terrible. The Wi-Fi could go down!
