Six, p.31
Six, page 31
“Paige, this is Sam—” Morgan started.
“And I’m Billy, Billy Black,” a cheerful voice called from the cabin. A moment later another tanned face poked out of the door, this one a bit rounder and darker. Billy hopped to the ground and punched Sam on the arm, then leaned next to him and did an exaggerated version of the sexy pose. Paige had to giggle at just how far this stranger could press out his lips.
“Hello, lady,” Billy drawled out. “You are like five million times hotter than the Morganator described you.”
“Thank you, I think,” Paige said.
Billy flipped his ponytail of jet-black hair. He looked over at the wall of muscles next to him and the buff arms and blue eyes of Morgan. In comparison, Billy was more the little teapot, short and stout.
“I have no chance in hell, do I?” he asked. “I mean, I totally crush both these guys in terms of IQ and sexual ability, but that’s not exactly the first thing you notice when the three of us are together.”
Paige giggled. “I’m kind of complicated,” she sighed. “But looks aren’t everything.”
“Well, get your stuff, people,” Billy said, still smiling. “We have a lot of traveling and catching up to do. Also, whatever that sexy, soapy smell is, get me more of that.”
Paige and Morgan hurried back to their room and tossed their few things back into plastic bags. Paige said, “So, Billy and Sammy are your Native American adopted pack brothers. That just seems so—”
“Strange?”
“No, normal,” Paige countered. “I mean, we live in the era of sparkly vampires and hot Native American werewolves. It’s the first thing that’s seemed right.”
“Well, Billy is from a reservation; Sammy was born in Bosnia, but those two were totally raised as brothers. All part and parcel of Irvine’s grand recruitment drive.”
They found Billy at the counter laughing and talking with their little old guardian angel. She waved over Morgan and Paige before accepting an envelope from Billy. The old lady’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as she peeked inside.
“We were never here,” Billy said. “Right?”
“Never saw you,” she said.
“All right, you two crazy lovebirds, let’s get you to Vegas!” Billy cheered as he wrapped an arm around both of them. Only once they were tucked inside the fake wood and floral print lines of the Winnebago did his Velveeta smile drop. “Morgan, what the fuck did you do now?” Billy asked flatly as Sammy slunk toward the driver’s seat.
“I got a call from my informant, and it turned out to be a trap. I did identify a new master vampire though. She goes by Ping-Pong Lung.”
“She beat us up in a cupcake shop,” Paige added.
“I told you that Chicago wasn’t safe—” Billy started.
“I needed to get closer to follow the money—” Morgan growled.
“It’s twenty-fifteen, Morganator; work remotely like everyone else. Is Irvine going to be looking for me next, or was he smart enough not to get made?” Billy asked.
The Winnebago roared to life, sending the three of them diving for the dinette area seats. Billy made the sign of the cross as Sammy turned a little too sharply and gunned the accelerator to get them out of the parking lot.
“Irvine and I split after Memphis,” Morgan muttered.
Billy turned his attention to Paige. “So, you are the first girl in our pack—cool,” he said. “I always wanted a little sister, and since you are out of my league, I’m gonna go ahead and park myself right in the friend zone. Morgan tell you all about our band of merry men yet?”
“No, we haven’t had that much time to talk—”
“Go, Morgan,” Billy said with an exaggerated wink. “Well, I’m sure he failed to mention that he’s the black sheep of our little outfit. Morgan doesn’t think that the first rule of being a werewolf applies to him.”
“The first rule?” Paige asked.
“Yeah, stay the hell away from vampires. That means avoiding all the things they love like old castles, big urban sprawls, and high schools. The only reason our pack is still alive is because we have the good sense to run away.”
“We are supposed to protect people, Billy,” Morgan growled.
“People have the army and the cops and penicillin to keep them safe. We don’t have that. I mean, hell, remember Colby? He found out the hard way that vampires now carry guns. There are bloodsuckers that are card-carrying members of the NRA. You remember Pete? Harrison? What do all these brave little werewolves have in common? Oh wait, Morgan, they are dead. You, of all of us, should know what happens when you go after vampires—”
“Hey!” Paige barked as she slapped her claws against the table. “That was a cheap shot.”
Billy burst into a huge grin. “OK, I like this chick, Morgan. She stands by her man,” he said. “I can work with her. As for you, Morgan, you know I love you, man. I’m just pissed that I had to interrupt my business to come all the way out here.”
“Business must be going well,” Morgan muttered.
“I love Denver,” Billy said. “But I’m just going to assume that you don’t want to come help us make a metric shit-ton of money in the Mile-High City. You want me to take you to Bernard so he can help you in your harebrained crusade to get us all killed.”
“Yup,” Morgan said.
“Hey, pretty lady, have you ever watched this man eat? It’s amazing to see what he does with any candy with colors,” Billy said.
“We’ve had lunch together, yes.”
“Wow, she’s seen you eat and not gone running. She is a keeper. Well, we have about nineteen more hours on the road to get to know each other, so where do you want to start?”
They sat in awkward silence for a good long time. Billy seemed content sniffing the air and watching the uncomfortable couple stare out the window.
“So, are you going back to your vampire or staying with us?” Billy finally asked.
Paige found herself bearing the full weight of both werewolves’ stares now. She looked back out the window at the flat landscape of Nebraska.
“I don’t know,” she finally whispered.
Morgan moved to the sofa across the RV. Billy tapped his fingers against the table and looked suspiciously around the room. “At least you’re honest,” he sighed. “I never thought I’d see Morgan look at a girl, let alone be jealous of her vampire lover—”
“I wouldn’t say that we were lovers—” Paige said quickly.
“So, are you just one of those vamp tramps who goes in for the HVS?”
“HVS?”
“Hallucinogenic vampire semen.”
“Eww, what makes you think that I—?”
Billy raised a brow. Paige looked over at a stone-faced Morgan. She shifted uncomfortably in her plastic seat.
“Did Morgan tell you that I’m the tracker of the pack? Those guys are big bad wolves, but I’m more of a bloodhound,” Billy said.
“You mean that I still smell like him?” she asked with a horrified expression.
“Well, no, but I’ve heard the stories about what vampires did to cute little werewolf girls, so I thought I’d find out firsthand.”
“All of you are assholes,” she snapped.
“Well, we were raised by the best,” Billy confessed. “Look, I’m sure you didn’t have much of a choice—”
“You’re right,” Paige snarled. “In fact, neither of us had much of a choice because ever since Irvine attacked me, I’ve been lied to, chased, pumped full of drugs . . . Ugh, don’t judge me for sleeping with a hot vampire while I was completely out of my mind from turning into a goddamn werewolf in my mother’s bathroom!”
She slammed her fists on the table again. This time the melamine cracked. Billy raised up his hands apologetically. She didn’t let him open his mouth.
“So, yeah, my vampire and I have some issues, but he takes care of his own. He doesn’t run off killing people in coffee shops or slaughtering helpless families. Your uncle, Morgan, beat the crap out of me when I couldn’t defend myself; and you,” she said, turning right back to Billy, “you are a manipulator that stinks of fake leather and marijuana! I don’t know if I want to deal with any of you, but I am confused, terrified, and in way over my head. So either help me or pass me on to the next jerk. Are we clear?”
Billy nodded. “Morgan, she’s stronger than us, isn’t she?” he asked.
“You better believe it,” she snarled, her eyes completely amber.
“Why don’t we start with some anger management meditation, and then I’ll start teaching you some werewolf tricks?” Billy asked. “Morgan, you should probably get a shower next truck stop. It’s hard to smell anything over your rank ass.”
26
“Morgan, I’m totally staring at your girlfriend’s ass,” Billy called to the other end of the RV.
The other werewolf looked briefly over the laptop screen and growled. In the meantime, Paige buried her face in the pillow, while Billy stared in fascination at Paige’s tail. She swished it from side to side but resisted the urge to smack Billy in the face with it.
“So, what do you think?” Paige asked.
“Can I try bouncing a dime off your butt?” Billy asked. “Because I have never seen buns quite so tight.”
“No, you cannot bounce a dime off my butt!” she cried as she rolled over. “Jesus, are you always like this?”
“I’ve had the hormones of an eighteen-year-old boy for an extra seventeen years—what can I say?” Billy sighed. “But your tail looks more like a coyote than a wolf to me. Tell me, are you part Native American at all?”
“Nope.”
“Not even a smidgen? I mean, you never even lied on it to get college money or anything?”
“My dad’s side is Scandinavian and English, and my mom’s side is Italian, French, Jewish, and vampire—” Paige started.
“Wait, what was that last one?” Billy asked.
“She’s the daughter of Dexter Carmichael. We didn’t realize until it was too late that the vampire we pointed him to was his ex-wife’s grandfather,” Morgan said. “Also, you need to be more careful with your deposits in your business accounts, or else your tax returns are going to be full of red flags.”
“What are you doing?” Paige asked.
“Whenever I bail him out, he has to do my books,” Billy said.
“I am actually an accountant,” Morgan added.
“Online education at its finest,” Billy said. “Don’t give me the glower, Morganator; you know that we’re proud. Anyway, I have some ideas that I want to research.”
Paige watched Billy root around in an old-school footlocker stashed in the kitchen. She looked quizzically at actual leather-bound books and handwritten papers slipped into plastic sleeves. Billy pulled out a beaten notebook and flipped it to the middle.
“What are these?” she asked as she took the seat across from him.
“Vampires influence the media, and I’m pretty sure that they own Google. It’s hard to find a lot of accurate information about us through traditional outlets, but I have collected everything that I’ve either proven wasn’t bullshit or just sounded really cool.”
“Vampires don’t actually own Google. It’s publicly traded,” Morgan interjected.
“So they claim, but I have my doubts,” Billy muttered as he flipped through the notebook. “Anyway, Irvine is the one that bit you, right?”
“I bit him actually,” Paige corrected.
“Damn, girl,” Billy said. “Well, that helps, because I have a lot of years of data on our little pack. It’s a lot of data due to the high turnover, but I’ve never seen a tail on any of us, but then again, none of us have ever been girls.”
“What is the big deal about a tail?” she asked.
“There have been a lot of people throughout history accused of being werewolves, but most of them were crazy. Hell, even most real werewolves can’t turn into wolves. It damn near kills us, and actually creating a full spinal column extension with new muscles and nerves and everything, well, that’s ultimate werewolf overachievement. It means that you can grow new nerves. That’s amazing.”
“I never thought of it that way,” Paige said.
“You had your first change really fast. It’s like you’re a shape-shifting savant.”
“Well, my guidance counselors always said that I was still searching for what I was truly good at. I never thought to bite a werewolf when I was applying for college.”
“Well, you didn’t have a traditional werewolf transformation. You had no one to help you and probably had the shit scared out of you. That much adrenaline was like a nitrous boost. Throw in a little vampire blood, and boom!”
“I’m not superwoman,” Paige muttered. “I punch like a girl and don’t have any real desire to kick anyone’s ass, so what do I do?”
“If you’re interested in the recreational pharmaceutical industry, I’m always looking for talent,” Billy offered. He ran his finger along one of the lines in his book. That sent him diving to another tome. He showed Paige a drawing of a man in a mask howling at the moon. “Joshua Two-Tails,” he read.
“Who was he?”
“He was the greatest skinwalker in all of the Arizona and New Mexico territories. Legend has it that he single-handedly kept the vampires out of the Wild West. If you listen to Irvine, he’s the werewolf that we’re all descended from, but there has never been any proof.”
“They say he always wore the pelt of a coyote, don’t they?” Morgan asked.
“Well, that would explain one tail,” Billy said.
Paige peered closely at the drawing. Sure enough, under the pelt, there was the tip of another tail. “OK, so there was another werewolf with a tail,” Paige said.
“He was one hell of a werewolf, the kind of guy you could tell stories about,” Billy said.
“And if Irvine finds out that someone he’s bitten has a tail, he will spin that for all the recruits,” Morgan snarled. “If there is one thing Irvine likes, it’s a good story.”
“Irvine doesn’t know though,” Billy said. “And I’d keep it that way; the last thing we need is him getting ideas again.”
“Awesome—more people to hide from,” Paige sighed.
She ended up flopping on the bed, reading though some of Billy’s books while they quietly drove through the afternoon. Eventually Sammy and Billy switched places at the wheel, but the other werewolf remained completely silent, snoozing on the sofa while Paige lay on the bed.
Morgan finally approached after they stopped just over the Colorado border. Billy and Sammy seemed to be intent on playing rock-paper-scissors in the rest stop parking lot. Morgan inched toward the bed so slowly, so cautiously, that Paige hopped to her feet to meet him in the middle of the cabin.
“When we get to Nevada, I should be able to get you some money and a fake ID. Bernard is crazy, but he’s better at computers and stuff than all of us—”
“And what will I do exactly?”
“Maybe you should go back to your vampire,” Morgan said, all but spitting out the last two words.
“Oh, I was waiting for this,” Paige growled. “You’re going to hold it against me that I screwed him—”
“Is that what you think?” Morgan growled back.
“What should I think?”
“You don’t know Irvine like we do. He’s already been reckless, and I’m afraid that he’ll see you as some sign from god that it’s time to fight the vampires again. I don’t know if crazy Ping-Pong is coming after us, and some ancient vampire is probably better able to protect you than a crazy accountant—”
“Wait, you’re not just jealous of Lorcan?’ she asked.
“That’s the vampire? Yes, I’m extremely jealous of him, but my jealousy isn’t worth your getting hurt.”
“You can’t be serious,” she said.
He took her hands. “I’m an idiot—”
“You are an idiot,” Paige said. “You’re a crazy idiot, but you mean well.”
He pulled her a little closer. She squeezed his hands and said, “How about this for a novel idea? Why don’t I learn how to take care of myself, and we just figure the rest out as we go along? You are right though; at some point I do have to go back to my vampire. We have unfinished business, but we also have unfinished business as well, Mr. Wolfe.”
“We do?” he asked, confused.
She gave him a quick kiss. “You still owe me tacos.”
27
“You call that a hit?” Nadia asked.
Paige stared at her taped-up hands for a second too long, giving the purple-haired werewolf a chance to tackle her and drop her painfully on the mats.
“There is no time for confusion, Paige,” Nadia said as she jerked the smaller woman to her feet. “Your enemies will not wait for you to figure out what is going on.”
Nadia punched again, but this time Paige was able to slip to the side. The two of them danced around the ring, occasionally jabbing. Nadia interrupted Paige’s brief moment of accomplishment by suddenly changing tactics and sweeping Paige’s leg out from under her. Paige yowled as Nadia’s knees dropped onto her sternum.
“No real enemy will ever fight fair. Don’t waste your time dancing when you should go for the kill.”
Paige responded by slashing her claws across Nadia’s face. The amazon rolled away, and this time when Paige helped Nadia up, her bleeding face was actually sporting a grin.
“There is hope for you yet.”
Paige grabbed her aching chest. When she opened her eyes next, she found herself in the familiar surroundings of a Tennessee cookie-cutter apartment with white walls and beige carpets. She found herself propped up on a couch, with her old laptop still open on the coffee table.
She was staring at thumbnails of strange images, of people she’d only seen in grainy photos. The doorknob creaked terribly, giving her just enough time to yank the flash drive out of her machine and toss it into the dark and scary nether region under her and Cal’s sofa.
“Stay here, Paige. Stay right here,” she ordered herself.
