Even in the half-light of the bedroom I could see his surprise, his eyebrows shooting up. “You’re still what?”

  I felt immediately self-conscious. Idiot.

  “You’re still what?” He asked, stepping closer again.

  “Pure. You know what I mean. I - I told you I’d never…” I was sure my cheeks were glowing visibly, the hot flush so violent it almost made my eyes water. “I just thought maybe, maybe it put you off.”

  “That’s not it, at all.” He said. “I wouldn’t, I mean, that wouldn’t stop me.”

  “So, what is stopping you?” The jealousy I’d felt that morning in my room when the pretty redhead with the big tits had served me breakfast rushed through me full force. “Is it because I’m not some scullery maid you can just fuck and leave?”

  Rook scoffed. “Oh come now, don’t do that.”

  I stuck my chin out at him, feeling stupidly hurt by all this. “Am I too noble for you, is that it? You can use the body of some maid but with me you suddenly feel bound by honor?”

  “Elara.” His voice was low, and hearing him say my name sent a rush down my back, a shiver so intense it made his rejection of me even worse. “Don’t do that. That’s not what this is.”

  “Then what is it?” I was almost desperate now, the stinging, the unbearable fucking stinging at the back of my eyeballs making my eyes water. “Why don’t you want to take me to bed?“

  “Because I don’t want this to be some pity fuck.” His hands grasped my shoulders. “I don’t want this to be two people desperate for someone. I care for you, and I want you, but I don’t want it to be meaningless. My life has been meaningless for too long.”

  “You need to love me first, is that it?” I couldn’t help but sneer. “So all those women, all those scullery maids you violated the Accord for, they were all meaningless?”

  “You think I meant anything to them?” The pain in his voice took me by surprise. “You think any one of them fucked me out of anything more than curiosity? Seeing if the stories about the Night Demons were true?”

  I flinched, cursing my insensitivity. “Rook, I’m so sorry-”

  “I told you,” he interjected, taking my face in his hands, “you’re the first person to look at me in years. The first person to speak to me, who wasn’t afraid of me, who didn’t treat me like a criminal or a freak.”

  “I just tried to kill you instead.”

  Rook chuckled, and leaned his forehead against mine. “We need to get you through all of this,” he said, “I want to help you. I want to see you through it all, because then, you’ll be free.”

  Realization dawned on me. I had the chance to earn what Rook would never have - freedom. And then I would be gone, and he’d still be here. Still enslaved. Still trapped. And he’d lose something else. I was just one more thing for him to lose.

  I stepped back from him, despite the urge to throw myself into his arms, to comfort him. Fuck, to comfort myself. His hands lingered on my shoulders as I moved away. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s alright.You’re alone, and you’re a prisoner. I understand you, better than anyone else ever will.” He backed away slowly. “I should go before anyone notices I’m here.”

  “I’ll see you at training tomorrow.”

  “No you won’t.” He shook his head. “Fucking Gods, you need to recover first. Let that leg heal. Then we’ll train together again.”

  “So I won’t see you until then?”

  He hesitated, and ran a hand through his hair. “I-I don’t know, love. Just… just get better, alright? Rest.”

  He paused on the window sill, the evening breeze catching his hair, shimmering blue-black in the moonlight. “I mean it. If you were mine, I’d make sure you were safe. I’d die to make sure you were safe.”

  “And so would I.”

  “Then the Gods help the world if we ever fall in love.” He gave me one last smile before lowering himself out of the window.

  I stood in the room alone, listening to the fire crackling, waiting for my heart to stop thundering against my ribcage. I ran a hand over the warmth in my chest and thought back on the bond I’d shared with Keir. The silver threads that pulled us together. The space in our souls that we’d occupied in one another.

  Now that bond was gone - and as the darkness grew around me, I felt those threads growing again, unfurling and snaking their way through the air, following the Night Demon prince as he crept away from my room. I've tried to deny it for weeks now. I’d tried to tell myself the dreams were meaningless. I’d tried to tell myself that that longing I felt for Rook, that the comfort I found only in his presence, was nothing more than loneliness.

  But now I knew - Rook’s soul was bonded to mine.

  I’d never been able to explain the Bonds to myself, why they formed, why Lada chose the ones she did. But as I lay down in my bed, I knew that Rook had been brought into my life for a reason.

  I just hoped we both lived long enough to discover it.

  Chapter 15

  Rook

  Well, fuck.

  I stared at the ceiling of my chamber as the moonlight gave way to the dawn, my hand on my chest, feeling the thud of my heartbeat as it was enveloped by the roiling warmth I’d felt for weeks but not been able to explain to myself.

  But now it was joined by something else, a sense of a second heart, beating right alongside it, in perfect rhythm. When I inhaled, my lungs filled with her breath.

  There was no denying it any longer.

  I’d not been raised in the Faith, but I knew enough of it from myth and legend to know the stories of a Ladaian Bond. Two souls, bound to one another, for all eternity, only separated by death. Night Demons scoffed at it, saying it was a denial of free will. I’d never thought to question it, much less thought that it would ever fucking happen to me.

  And now I was lying here, glowing with… Love. For a fucking Fae princess.

  With a grunt, I kicked the blankets off me, sitting up to watch the first raindrops patter against my window. The sky outside darkened, the air becoming thick as a storm rolled in. I dressed quickly, tying back my hair, wondering how much longer Theron would let it get before he had me shorn again.

  I pushed through the door, out into the passageway. The guards protested for a moment, but I ignored them, heading out into the rain just as the first rumble of thunder sounded overhead. It was terrible weather for running, but run I did. I ran the perimeter of the castle grounds twice, then headed down the path into town.

  The streets were empty, and any passers-by saw me coming and quickly ducked into the next welcoming door. Rain beat against my face, dripping into my eyes, and I blinked it away furiously.

  How the fuck had this happened?

  Of all the beings in the realm, of all the fucking females there were - it had to be her. The daughter of the man who’d betrayed me. The daughter of the man who’d cost me everything. Fuck fuck fuck.

  And she’d wanted me in her bed. I gritted my teeth in frustration. Why hadn’t I just fucked her? It would have been the ultimate revenge. Fucking the Fae princess, and somehow letting Vayr know that his offspring had lost her purity to a Night Demon; the thought should have brought me satisfaction.

  Instead, I was overcome with shame. Because I didn’t want to just fuck her. I didn’t want to use her for revenge, I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to join my body with hers. I wanted to feel her skin and hear her moans and fuck it all. I was ruined.

  The rain was falling harder as I left the quiet streets of town and sprinted back up the hill to the palace. I kept running along the palace wall, through the gardens, and across the sodden lawn.

  I slowed my pace as the temple came into view. Keep running. But I stopped at the bottom of the steps and looked up at the golden spires. The heavy smell of incense wafted from inside, and warm candlelight spilled from the doorways.

  I placed a foot on the lower step, then withdrew it and turned sharply away. I wasn’t going in there. But something stopped me, like a heavy hand on my shoulder, and I found myself at the top of steps, shoulders heaving from my run, the smell of incense filling my nose. I took a tentative step closer to the door.

  Suddenly an old woman dressed in blue robes appeared, gazing at me curiously with large, silvery eyes. “Can I help you, my child?” She didn’t appear afraid of me, merely curious, surely wondering what the sopping wet Night Demon struggling to catch his breath was doing on the steps of her temple. I considered turning away for a moment, but the soft brown skin around her eyes crinkled as she smiled at me, and she extended a hand. “Won’t you come in?”

  I hesitated before I waved her off. “No, I wouldn’t want to get your tiles all wet.” I tried to smile amicably, but I was feeling tense and uncertain. “I had - I mean, I was wondering… Ummm…. There was something I needed some… advice on.”

  She laced her fingers together, and nodded. “But of course, if I can help I will.”

  “Do you know anything about - I mean, what is there you can tell me about…” I broke off, running a hand through my hair and laughing awkwardly. “Sorry, I’ve been rather -“

  “Tired?” She lifted her eyebrows.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  She gestured to the gardens behind me. “I have seen you running almost every day, as though you are trying to escape something. And the fact it has brought you here tells me it has caught you.”

  Caught me. Yes it had. “I’ve been having rather wild dreams.” I stretched my hands, the roiling warmth in my chest clutching at the base of my throat.

  “That is usually how it starts.” She gave me a knowing smile, tucking a strand of white hair behind her ear. She took a deep breath of the cool, wet air that surrounded us. “Now, what is it you would like to know?”

  “A Ladaian love bond,” I said quickly, before I thought better of it. “Do you, I mean, can you tell me anything about it?”

  “But of course, I am the High Priestess of this Temple.” She laughed when I bowed my head. “Oh we do not require such formality here, my child. What would you like to know?”

  Thunder rumbled loudly overhead, the rain pelting down in heavy sheets. I took a deep breath.

  “How does it form?” I asked, running a hand over my chest without thinking. “I mean, why does it happen?”

  The priestess shrugged. “That I cannot answer. Lada’s ways are not to be explained.”

  “But it is a love bond?”

  “Certainly. Two souls, bound for all eternity, separated only by death.”

  I gave a short laugh. “Yes, I know the stories. Is there any other way… Can it be forced, by magic?”

  The priestess shook her head emphatically. “No. A true Ladaian Bond is one of the few forces of this Realm that not even the Seraph have been able to corrupt. There are love spells that can mimic aspects of the Bond, but a true Bond, where both parties feel the other’s heart and breath in their body - that cannot be made by magic.”

  The combination of relief and irritation I felt at that moment almost knocked me off my feet. So this was real. It wasn’t evil Fae magic. It was real. I was bonded to a Fae princess who I wanted to protect with my life. She was mine. Fucking gods.

  “And is it normal to want to… Do… Things?” Gods I was blushing. I was asking an ancient priestess if it was normal to want to fuck someone I was bonded to and it was the most awkward thing I’d ever experienced in my life. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. “I mean… you know…”

  “You mean sex?” The priestess laughed lightly. “Is that what you are asking? If it is normal to want a physical as well as a spiritual connection with your Bonded.”

  “Not my Bonded.” I almost stumbled over the words, bouncing nervously on the balls of my feet. “I’m just asking, in general terms.”

  “Of course you are.” The priestess nodded, and if she doubted me she didn’t show it. “All acts of love are sacred in the eyes of the Goddess. So yes, it is perfectly normal to want to have those experiences with your Bonded, if that is what you both desire.”

  “And I can’t break it?”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “You?”

  Fuck. “Not me, obviously. I mean, I’m asking if it can’t be broken, in general.”

  “Would you want it to be?”

  No. The last thing I wanted was for it to be gone. Where that heat holding my heart had driven me mad at first, the thought of it being gone now was too much to bear. She had anchored herself within my soul, within my very being, and to tear that out of my ribcage now - the thought made me shudder.

  “I can’t imagine anyone would want it to go away,” the priestess said when I remained silent. “It is nothing to fear. Even if the reason is not clear at first, even if the choice is unexpected, there is joy to be found in a Bond with another.”

  “Joy. Yes.”

  She took a step closer to me, her eyes darting around for a moment, as though to check we were truly alone. “Fighting it does not make it any easier.”

  I didn’t want to tell her that giving in to it would make my life vastly more difficult. I didn’t even know if giving in to it was a choice I had to make. But that was all too difficult - and too dangerous - to explain to a priestess in a temple in Veles. Instead, I gave her a nod and a brief smile. “Thank you for your help.”

  “Any time, my child.” She waved as I left, back into the pouring rain.

  I didn’t run back to my chamber. Instead, I walked slowly across the sodden grass. I dug my toes into the ground, and took deep breaths. And all the while that warmth crept through my veins, heating my blood as my heart beat in rhythm with hers.

  Thunder crashed overhead as I drew myself a bath. I lowered myself into the warm water, washing away the mud and cold sweat. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the edge of the tub. Fighting it does not make it any easier.

  I didn’t want to fight it. I wanted nothing more than to give in to everything I felt, to climb that tower again and climb into Elara’s bed. I wanted to crush those rosy lips under mine, hear her sigh as my hands moved over her body, over the body that was now mine.

  But it wasn't that simple.

  I lifted my arm, looking at the glowing silver mark etched into my skin. I wondered that Theron hadn’t forced one on to Elara yet. The very thought had rage boiling at the base of my throat. The thought of him hurting her, touching a single hair on her head… I slammed my fist into the water.

  Fuck it all.

  Rain pelted against the window, the drumming almost deafening. There would be no further relief to be found outside today, no distraction to be found in a sodden training arena. Not that I even wanted to wear myself out to avoid thinking of her anymore.

  With a heavy sigh I hauled myself out of the water and dried myself. I’d need to find distraction elsewhere in the castle today. Anything to try and move my focus from the coil that pulled tighter every time I thought of her.

  Chapter 16

  Rook

  I knew the minute I’d stepped foot into the library that I wasn’t alone. Over the scent of wood and paper, there was another one, one that rendered me weak and useless.

  Elara was here.

  Of course she was. Of course my feet had carried me to her without even thinking. The coil that held my heart captive beside hers had led me straight to her side.

  There was no fighting it. Even if I'd wanted to. I was utterly, completely ruined for her.

  I rounded the corner of towering shelves, and there she was, sitting at a chess board, frowning and chewing her lip as she looked down at the pieces in front of her. She was wearing a blue gown, the same color as her eyes, and her hair hung over her shoulder in a loose braid. She lifted a hand to rub her delicate fingers across her chin, and leaned back in the chair with a sigh.

  “Stuck?” I asked, and her eyes darted over to where I stood.

  Her face broke into a soft smile. “I am rather. Do you play?”

  I walked over to her slowly. “I do. Poorly, but I do.” I sat down opposite her, her eyes remaining on me. “I’m not much of a strategist you see.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “No?”

  “No. More of an In the Moment sort, I suppose. I can’t always see what’s lying ahead.”

  Elara laughed softly, stroking the length of her braid. “Yes, sometimes the moves that lie ahead can catch us off guard.” She picked up one of the castles, rolling it between her fingers. “Where I come from, these are called Towers. But in some cultures they’re called rooks, did you know that?”

  I nodded. “I did.”

  “The pieces that can surprise you the most, ironically enough.” The corners of her mouth twitched as she put the Tower back on the board, and she lifted her chin, gesturing to the board. “Your move.”

  I looked down at the pieces on the board, trying to figure out how she’d gotten to this point. I picked up the knight, moving him towards her Queen, and Elara sucked on her teeth.

  “You really aren’t a strategist,” she said with a small laugh.

  “I did tell you.” I feigned a groan and threw my hands up as she moved her tower to claim my knight. “So how did you become so good at it?”

  “All those lonely, frozen winters in the North. A child has to find a way to entertain herself.”

  “And you chose chess?” I chuckled. “I can see it now, the studious little princess, plotting war after war on the board in front of her.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Well, I never won a war, but I did always manage to win the battles.”

  “That you did.”

  Her eyes moved over the board only to meet mine again, the smile still on her face, dropping slightly as she opened her mouth to speak. “I am sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “Last night.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t thinking. It was wrong of me.”

  “You don’t need to apologize. I don’t want you to think… I don’t want to give you the impression that I…” I broke off, looking back down at the scattered pieces on the chessboard. “Can I ask you something?”

 

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