“Come on, it’s just hot sauce.” I shrugged. “Bet you two are teasing me and like it as much as me and Ben.”

  “Nah, that’s stuff is potent like a volcano in a bottle.” Sebastian grabbed a sweet roll. “And putting it with dessert is downright sinful.”

  “I’ll tell you what is sinful is listening to you two wimps complain about a little spice.” Ben refilled my glass of milk and sat beside me, plopping a piece of bread in his mouth after dunking it in the small bowl of sauce. “Me and Pearl know a good thing when we taste it.”

  Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Right. Hurry up, I want to show her the carnival before we have to perform this evening.”

  “Carnival?” The word sounded foreign on my tongue. “What is that?”

  “Never seen a circus or a carnival?” Liam tsked. “Where have you been, living under a rock or locked in jail?”

  “Or maybe the queen of hearts had her prisoner?” Ben interjected. “Since her overthrow, there’s been rumors of her magic failing all over the country.”

  “Queen?” I’d never paid attention to the politics of Underland unless it involved chopping down the forest.

  Ben shuddered. “She was horrible. Always ruling the people with an iron fist, yanking out hearts of any who opposed her. I think it fueled her magical power.”

  My hand covered my hollow chest where the human heart the Puppet-Maker had given me. Would this queen want mine as well? I was pretty certain only it and the magic of that weird book had brought me to life as I was now.

  “She’s overthrown now?” I asked in a shaky voice.

  “That’s what the rumors say. Something about the granddaughter of the white queen returned and defeated her.” Sebastian wiped his hands and face with a cloth. “We’ll travel close to the castle come spring time and find out for sure then. I’ve learned never to trust rumors. Ready?”

  “For the carnival? Yes.” I finished off my milk before standing. “Let’s go.”

  “It’s better once it gets dark.” Liam placed his hand at the small of my back.

  His touch gave me comfort as we weaved through the crowd rather than making me afraid like before at the lake.

  “Why is it better at night?” I asked.

  Sebastian to my right answered. “The lights. All the colors of the rainbow light up brighter than the stars but not as amazing as your eyes.”

  “Bet you say that to all the ladies,” I joked, but his words made me feel giddy inside as if I’d been swung around on a strong wind too long.

  “Never wanted to tell any woman how beautiful she is.” Sebastian took my hand and when I didn’t flinch away, he grinned. “I look at you and I see a flower that doesn’t know how special or gorgeous she is.”

  “Sebastian’s right,” Liam added, his arm brushing along my side. “You are special, Pearl. I don’t know what it is but I can feel it.”

  I cleared my throat as we neared a huge wheel. “What’s that?”

  “A Ferris wheel,” Ben muttered. “I’ll pay for you three to go.”

  “Aren’t you coming with us?” I spun to see him glowering behind us.

  “Ben’s afraid of heights,” Sebastian whispered not quiet enough because Ben punched his shoulder.

  “And you don’t like getting dirt under your nails,” Ben shot back.

  “Knock it off you two, this is for Pearl to enjoy her first carnival, not listen to you two bickering like roosters trapped together in a box.”

  “You’re one to talk.” Sebastian nodded. “You can’t stand getting your hair wet longer than what’s necessary to get clean.”

  “Don’t listen to them,” Liam whispered in my ear. His warm breath on my skin making my own hitch in my chest. “They’re both jealous of my human and lion’s manes.”

  Ben paid for three tickets, then stood back, watching with crossed arms. Something flitted in his dark eyes for a moment before it was hidden behind his frown.

  The bench had enough room for me, Liam, and Sebastian. I was in between them both. I should’ve felt scared at their nearness, but I wasn’t. Instead, a deep heat spread up my legs from where their bodies pressed on either side of mine. The contraption we were in suddenly jerked upright and my hands flew to both Liam’s and Sebastian’s thighs. Instead of pushing me away, each of them covered my hand in theirs.

  I let out a giggle that I couldn’t help. The image of them all panicking over such small stuff amused me. They were so much bigger than me and I feared most things unlike them. I shuddered, pressing deeper against the bench and taking comfort in both of their presence. I felt safe with them.

  An image of the Puppet- Maker and his ability to take what I’d become away flashed before me. I couldn’t let that happen. I wanted to live. Wanted to experience more things like this ride and eat spicy foods and learn about these three fabulous men who had taken me in without question.

  Who hadn’t attacked me or hurt me. So far who had done everything to make me feel safe and welcomed.

  “Are you scared?” Liam’s voice was so full of concern that I shook my head.

  He didn’t know my inner demons and I didn’t want to burden any of them with mine. Besides, I could see for miles up here.

  “No. I’m fine.” I kept my hands in theirs as I glanced around the circus. Scents of meat grilling and sweet cakes filled the air.

  In the distance, I made out the forest where I’d been a mere seedling. Further was the Puppet-Maker’s cabin. I winced, drawing my attention to the people beneath us that looked like small dolls.

  That’s all I was. A puppet for his pleasure.

  No. I squeezed my eyes shut. I was more than a marionette on strings. And I wanted to live, to experience things. The wheel turned higher and I let out a breath of joy at seeing a few stars faintly twinkle overhead against the sunset.

  “This is wonderful.” I smiled.

  Liam stared at me. His amber eyes almost appearing to glow like the moonlight. Warmth spread all over me as the wheel shuddered to a stop.

  “Is it broken?” I couldn’t look away from Liam.

  “Would that be so bad to be stuck up here with us?” Sebastian’s hand trailed up my thigh as did Liam’s.

  I gasped as pleasure and heat spiked through me.

  “Is this okay?” Liam asked.

  Any words I was going to say stuck in my throat and I could only nod. Liam brushed his lips across mine so softly that I’d have missed the gesture if I wasn’t awake. I let out a whimper as I kissed him back. My hands clutching theirs like I was drowning and afraid the magic sparking between us would end abruptly.

  Sebastian's free hand trailed up my side to my breast. Instead of being appalled, I leaned into his touch while Liam deepened our kiss. His fingers stroked me through the material of the corset.

  I wanted more. So much more. This was better than Ben’s hot sauce.

  When Sebastian pulled down on my outfit, exposing my breasts. They bounced free. The cool autumn air making the nipples pebble and I shuddered. His hand brushed over my breasts again. I moaned into Liam’s mouth as heat rushed up my body yet left me pliable like a young sapling. Sebastian’s fingers lightly stroked my breasts, they turned heavy and hungering for his touch.

  Liam let go of my hand, his own tracing higher up on my leg until he touched the core of me. I shuddered. The memory of the Puppet-Master’s invasion tearing through my mind.

  I pushed out of their embraces, nearly falling off the bench and out of the contraption. “No!”

  “Easy You’re all right.” Liam grasped my arm. “You’re safe with us, Pearl.”

  Both he and Sebastian helped me back onto the bench. My legs shook as I hiked my garment back over my breasts. Too soon, the wheel groaned, moving back around toward the ground again.

  All the while, my body wanted their touch again, wanted to taste Sebastian’s lips. Yet my mind screamed to flee. That I would never be safe, not as long as the Puppet-Master and that magical tome of his that brought me to life was still around.

  Chapter 9

  “Well, finish up,” Liam nodded as he threw the turkey leg he’d gnawed at away, “We need to get her in the ring and see if she can tame three wild animals.”

  Sebastian leaned back in his chair, his smoldering look making my flesh pebble and a weird feeling pool in the center of my being. “I think she’ll be a natural. Besides, in that outfit, no one will be paying enough attention to notice if she’s not really using the whip properly.”

  “And what if they bring in real animals?” Ben stole a piece of sweet twisty bread from me and winked at my outcry. “She needs to know how to be a lion tamer for real, not pretend.”

  I nodded, scooping up the last of the dessert before he could take any more. Carnival and circus food had to be better than anything else in the world. The memory of my kiss with Liam as Sebastian touched me made my skin flash hot like the sun had come out from behind a cloud suddenly and warmed me. Did they notice my flush?

  “He’s right. I want to learn to do this for real.”

  “All right then,” Liam stood. “Let’s go train you for the big cage.”

  Two and a half hours later, I stood in the center of the lion cage with Ben, Liam, and Sebastian all staring at me. The wrist loop cut into my skin while I squeezed the handle of the whip. Sweat dribbled down the back of my neck, but I resisted the urge to whine or wipe at it. They had all insisted I wear a long sleeve shirt, and since Faeleen didn’t believe in clothing that covered much of her body, Ben’s draped over my frame. His scent of pine, musk, and wildness enveloped me.

  Now that I’d seen the trapeze artists earlier, Faeleen’s outfits made more sense now. Beautiful, formfitting, and exotic-looking, but not good for practicing using the whip.

  My arm hurt from slinging the whip that seemed to have a mind of its own. It lashed back at me or it did a pathetic snap that even a kitten wouldn’t cringe from.

  Ben grunted. “You can’t be afraid of it, because that’s when it’ll zap you.”

  “You’ve got to put more oomph in it,” Liam said. “Like its an extension of your soul.”

  Did I even have a soul? I was a puppet brought to life by murder, magic, and a madman.

  “Smooth, flowing motions.” Sebastian held up his arm in demonstration then lowered it fast.

  When I had watched the lion tamer earlier, he’d made the whip look simple. His nerves and backing away at the animals hadn’t appealed to me. I wanted to be strong and confident.

  I let out a breath, relaxing my grip on the whip’s handle a fraction and setting my feet hip-width apart. My hand jerked up quick, then down. A piercing crack vibrated through the air.

  “Woot!” Liam shouted. “You got it.”

  “I knew you could do it.” Sebastian flashed me a smile that made my cheeks burn.

  Ben pushed up from the pedestal he had leaned against. “It takes more than one kind of snap to awe the crowd. You’ve got to be able to do several types without thinking. Without warming up and practicing first.”

  “She’s doing great though.” Liam pushed off the side of the cage and yawned. “Let’s practice some more tomorrow.”

  “I’m not tired.” I turned the whip in my hand. I’d accomplished something and it felt wonderful. Like I really could do this. Go on the road with the circus. Hang out more with the guys. I was really looking forward to more of Liam’s cooking, Ben’s spicy salsa, and Sebastian’s jokes. I wanted to learn more about them—about the world—and traveling with the circus was the best way to do all that.

  “Best if we quit for the night,” Ben stretched. “You don’t want to—”

  My hand jerked up on its own and the whip came down at Ben’s feet. He jumped back, his face flashing red.

  “See?” I squared my shoulders. “I’ve got this, now let’s try it in your animal forms.”

  Sebastian glanced around, his eyes shifting from green to a deep yellow. “Careful Luv, you’re one of the few who knows our secret.”

  To show him I wasn’t scared of others or their animal sides, I rolled the whip out and jerked it back. The end, instead of snapping like before, struck my cheek. Pain sliced through me and I clutched my face. It felt like the Puppet-Master had cut into my flesh with his ax. I feel to my knees while tears stung the back of my eyes.

  “Pearl,” Liam raced forward. “You’re okay. We’ll get some ice for it to take out the sting, though you may have a welt for a few days.”

  I pulled away when Liam tried to take my hand away. His gaze softened and Sebastian knelt beside him. Even Ben’s normal harsh expression filled with pity and worry.

  “Let’s take a look.” Liam gently guided my hand away. Then he blinked hard. “I don’t believe it.”

  “What?” I asked, my insides suddenly churning like shards of glass scraped along my core.

  “You’re not bleeding, but the whip cut into you.”

  They knew. I jerked away, scrambling to my feet. I dashed out of the lion cage and out of the tent. No matter how many times they called my name, I didn’t stop running. Not until their voices faded with the sounds of the night.

  Chapter 10

  The morning light woke me and I stretched. For a moment, I forgot the nightmare that my life had become or that I wasn’t a tree ready to feel the sunlight on my leaves and branches. And running off had been silly. I’d had more security and peace with them than I did on my own. I’d be too easy to spot alone. A young woman with spiraling white hair and without any gold or coins to buy my way. Ben, Liam, and Sebastian had given me food and shelter, yet, I’d repaid them by running away.

  Disappointment clogged in my chest. I missed them, but how could I explain the gash in my cheek? Or that I hadn’t bled? Every time they looked at me, they’d wonder. Everyone who saw me would see it and freak out. Or maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought?

  I closed my eyes, letting my inner self come forth, the part of me that had been a Sycamore for over a hundred years. Imagining I had roots that spread down into the dirt and under the ground, searching for water nearby. The largest source was two miles back in the direction of the circus.

  Pushing up to my feet, I hiked in the direction my senses told me the freshwater lay. It was odd being able to go toward water instead of having it come to me through rains or flooding.

  A small creek trickled in a shallow ravine, but it was enough for me to survey the damage the whip had caused. I knelt beside the water, peering at my reflection. The scar was a small slash across my cheekbone. Not as deep as I’d feared, but definitely odd for a human. I bit my lip. How would I explain to them?

  I needed some way to cover this. Hide the fact that I didn’t bleed. If I could do that, then I could tell the men that I had bleed and had run off because I was embarrassed. My knees sunk into the mud, the feeling left me longing for my simple life before all of this. I couldn’t use mud or dirt to hide the chip. Makeup that human women wore rubbed or washed off. No, I needed something more permanent. But what?

  Standing up, I rubbed off the dirt, then spotted my ankle where the Puppet-Maker had burned me. Sebastian had liked it—a tattoo—he’d called it. And it didn’t come off.

  Except, I didn’t know how to make fire. The idea of even attempting touching a flame made my stomach heave.

  I had to try. The circus would have fire. I’d seen several chimney’s smoking not to mention the campfires sprinkled through their camp. A burn would hide the slash.

  Retracing my steps proved more difficult than I would’ve imagined. I could find water, but I couldn’t find the circus. What if they already left for the next village? I didn’t even know where they were headed.

  A piercing pain hit my chest. I gasped, placing my hand over my breastbone as the ache continued. What if I lost them? I would never feel Liam’s kiss or Sebastian’s touch or what it would be like to kiss Sebastian or Ben even. And I wanted to kiss all three of them. Have all of them to myself to enjoy their company, their laughter and banter with each other, their embraces.

  Sobs drew up from the depth of me and I leaned against an oak tree for support. How had I come this far away from the Puppet-Master’s vile touch to craving three men’s?

  I shook my head, pushing off the tree and marching forward.

  “Excuse me, miss,” a male voice said. “Are you lost?”

  Why hadn’t I gotten a weapon? Even the whip would give me comfort right now as I turned and faced who spoke.

  Two men stared at me. Their clothes seeming to be rags, but their smiles made my muscles relax some. Still, I kept my distance from them.

  “Yes.” I swallowed. “I’m looking for the circus. My friends are there and looking for me.”

  “That so?” The smaller of the men answered. “The circus packed up last night. Moved on.”

  Fear crawled up my throat. “Oh.”

  “Why would they leave a pretty little thing like you behind?” The taller man said.

  His eyes narrowed, reminding me of a fox with a mangy coat that used to tromp about in my woods. It would catch rabbits for the thrill of it. Only eating half of them before bounding away on the next hunt. A small coyote always trailed behind him, picking through the discarded food. His leg twisted in an odd angle as though he couldn’t run and chase prey as the fox did.

  The smaller man leaned against his cane. His nose long and gave me the impression of that coyote. These two couldn’t be shifters like Ben, Liam, and Sebastian could they? Shifters were in hiding because of the Queen of Hearts, as far as I understood, so asking would be rude.

  “Do you know what direction they were headed?”

  “Yes, yes,” said the taller man. “But a pretty girl such as yourself shouldn’t be out here all alone.”

  “He’s right. It can be very dangerous for a woman traveling all by herself.”

  “Allow us to accompany you until you’ve reached your destination with the circus.” The foxlike man bowed.

  “Thank you, but I think I’ll be fine.” I clutched my hands in front of me, suddenly aware that I was still wearing the corset and short, flared skirt. “If you would just point me in the direction they—”

 

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