Merindah park, p.23
Merindah Park, page 23
‘You are an addict. Oh, Toshiko, are you ready to get help? Is that why you’ve called me?’
Toshiko frowned, her stomach tightening. ‘Why do think that?’
‘Because I never knew you gambled. I’m your best friend and you kept it a secret from me. Addicts always hide their addiction.’
‘Oh.’ Toshiko’s breath caught in her throat. She rubbed the chill on the back of her neck.
‘Please get some help.’
‘I don’t need help. I’m trying to tell you I’m a success.’ Her voice rose and a couple of other people at the rooftop bar turned to stare at her. She forced herself to lower her voice. ‘I won’t say I have a system, because that does sound like an addict, but I use maths and horse knowledge to sort out form, and I’ve won consistently for over a decade.’
‘Seriously? But …’ Kellye obviously had many questions. Toshiko could tell from the way her tone changed. Funny how Kellye could make one word say so many things.
‘But nothing. I know it’s rare, that’s partly why I didn’t want to tell anyone, but something happened recently, and I need to start telling people.’
‘I want to believe you.’ Kellye sounded cautious, and Toshiko imagined her brown eyes narrowed.
‘Thank you. It means a lot to me.’
‘There is more to this story. If you are such a success, and it’s been a secret for so long, what happened to make you share this with me?’
Toshiko rolled her shoulders. ‘Where do I start?’
‘At the beginning. Yeah, I know, that’s not very helpful.’ Kellye laughed. ‘I still can’t believe it. Are you sure?’
‘I can send you my bank statements if that will help. I’ve recently had to prove it to the police, so I have all the evidence at hand.’
Kellye gasped. ‘The police. What the heck kind of mess have you gotten yourself into? Okay, now you have to give me the whole story.’
Toshiko nodded and ran through the whole story, from when she met John, to her arrest, but glossed over her feelings for John.
‘You care for John.’ Kellye got directly to the point.
‘Yes, but I don’t see how we can have a future. His father was a gambling addict, and I represent everything he distrusts.’
‘It is a bit of a fantasy. I’ve never met a successful punter before. I mean, I’ve heard the stories, everyone in racing has, but they always seem too good to be true.’
‘Most of those stories are exaggerations. The flashy punters are the biggest addicts in my opinion. Most pros stay quiet, we don’t want to attract the attention of the media or the bookmakers. I am careful not to win too much from one betting agency, and I spread my risks around to stay under their radar. If the media spruiked me, it’d become nearly impossible to get a bookie to take my bets.’
‘Okay. Okay. I believe you now. Your passion for the challenge is obvious in your voice.’ Kellye paused for a breath and Toshiko wanted to grin inanely. Someone believed her. Someone other than the police and lawyers who’d gone through all her evidence, that is.
‘Have you told this to John? It seems like important information.’
‘I doubt it will make any difference. He’s made up his mind, and he’s determined to paint me in a poor light.’
‘It’s pretty easy to see from his point of view, though.’
Toshiko sighed. ‘I know. It’d be easier to argue with him if I didn’t understand where he was coming from.’
‘Do you want to argue with him?’
‘I wish I knew what I wanted. No, scratch that. I know I want for it all to go back to how it was before.’
‘Before he knew … You can’t think about it like that. It’s a fantasy, and he would have found out eventually. Did you think you could hide it forever?’
‘I have hidden it for a decade.’
‘Why? If you’ve made all that money, don’t you want to spend it?’
Toshiko slumped. ‘Yes. Occasionally. Usually I buy a property when that urge comes because no one will know or notice, and then I don’t have to explain a sudden purchase.’
Kellye laughed. ‘Only you would spend money you won on horses on something as low risk as houses. No flashy cars, or clothes, or flights around the world? Just another money-making scheme.’
‘What do you mean “only me”?’
‘It’s not a slight against you. It’s just funny because it’s a practical choice.’
Toshiko shook her head. What other choice would someone make? ‘It makes sense to use the profits and put them into a longer term, lower risk investment.’
‘Let me get my head around this. My best friend is a genius—I mean I knew that already since we studied together, and I saw your results. A genius who has created a mostly unbeatable system in secret and made loads of money gambling but won’t tell anyone because she doesn’t want to have people worry about her.’ Kellye got directly to the reason Toshiko had kept it a secret for so long.
‘I told myself I didn’t want to be exploited by Papa for my knowledge, but you are absolutely right. I didn’t want my family to worry about me. I was already a burden on them, I didn’t want to make it worse.’
‘But if you are a success, then you aren’t a burden.’
‘I’m not a burden.’ Toshiko’s chest swelled, and her body felt lighter than it had in forever. ‘I’m not a burden.’
Chapter 24
John watched Rachel take Tsuyoi Red for a couple of quiet laps cantering around the quarantine centre’s training track. He leaned on the fence, glad he’d driven in from the farm early this morning to see his big purchase working. It was an excuse to be close to Toshiko, of course, and he completely acknowledged it. He wanted to talk to Rachel before going to see Toshiko, and he told himself it was because Rachel had seen her since she’d left the detention centre. It couldn’t be because he was uncertain about how she would react to him. Not that. He kept his attention on Tsuyoi Red, who moved with graceful athleticism, light on his feet as he cantered around the big track. The horse disappeared with Rachel into the fog on the back straight, then reappeared like an apparition as they headed his way. Once past the gates, Rachel asked the strong bay to slow and relax, and soon they were walking towards him. Rachel sat up straight, the reins long and loose, and Tsuyoi Red strode along in his unhurried fashion, relaxed with his ears pricked forward. For a stallion, he was a gentle soul with an even temperament. The perfect racehorse.
‘Good morning, John. Have you come to report on this fellow’s progress for Shannon?’
John nodded, ‘Sure.’ Wasn’t that what he’d made himself believe? Not the delaying tactic he didn’t want to acknowledge.
‘And? Are you ready to apologise yet?’
He winked, deliberately, to push away the nagging guilt and spoke with a forced cockiness. ‘It’s not often I admit this, but yes, Rachel, you were right.’
She punched the air with one hand, the other relaxed on the reins. ‘Ha! Told ya so.’
‘Don’t get too carried away.’
Rachel grinned, her eyes glinting in the morning sunlight. ‘Never fear, darling brother, we all understand your position as head of the family.’
‘There is no need for such sarcasm.’
She scoffed. ‘Would it be childish to say you aren’t the boss of me?’
‘I wouldn’t dare enforce that role.’
‘Good. Now, have you called her yet?’ Rachel got directly to the point, and a muscle tightened in his jaw.
‘I didn’t want to wake her.’
‘Coward. She’s used to horse hours, she’s bound to be awake.’ Rachel laughed, and asked Tsuyoi Red to walk on. The horse seemed to agree with Rachel’s sentiment as he flicked his tail at John on the way past. John pulled his phone out of his back pocket and thumbed it open to send a text.
John: We need to talk.
Toshiko: Do we?
John: I said some stuff that I’m sorry about.
Those three little dots appeared to indicate she was typing. Then they stopped, then started again. He wanted to know what she’d deleted.
John: I am sorry. Can we talk about it?
Toshiko: I’m in the casino hotel. Send me a text when you get here.
John ground his teeth. She was in the casino hotel. His stomach dropped, and he was glad he was leaning against the fence. This wasn’t going to work.
‘What’s the matter? Did she say no?’
John looked up to see Tsuyoi Red flick his head in the air as Rachel asked him to wait. ‘Huh?’
‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
He drew in a deep breath. ‘No, she didn’t say no. Can you go and wash down your horse or something?’
‘Fine. But I want to know what happened.’
John waved his hands at Rachel and Tsuyoi Red skittered sideways.
‘Damn it, John. Don’t scare my horse.’ She stroked Tsuyoi Red’s neck and muttered to the horse who relaxed again. ‘Now get out of here.’
‘Fine. Fine. I’m going.’ John couldn’t put this off any longer. He wasn’t sure Toshiko would forgive him. He didn’t know if he forgave himself, and the world kept throwing reminders at him. The casino hotel. Hell. Time to face the depths of his fears before one of his siblings called him a goddamned coward again.
An hour later, John stood in the shiny foyer of the casino hotel, glad the quarantine rules included washing his boots before leaving the complex. He might not be tramping farm dirt across the marble floor, but he still felt out of place in his jeans and woollen check shirt with Merindah Park vest over the top.
John: I’m here.
Toshiko: That was fast. Come up to room 3005.
John had been here several times for meetings with clients, so he strode towards the lifts without having to scan the ultra-clean environment for them. He hit the up button and blew out a short breath. This was the right thing to do. He needed to see Toshiko, more than anything, if he was honest with himself. And even he couldn’t con himself into believing he was only here to apologise. No, he wanted more than to say sorry. He wanted the earlier promise between them to be real. The lift dinged and opened. He stepped in and hit the button for level 30. Jeepers, he’d never been up this high. The lift doors shut, and his stomach flipped as the lift zoomed upwards. Only a moment later, the door opened at level 30, leaving him with a dizzying sense of how fast the machine had sped him up into the air. He stepped out into a bland hallway with dark grey carpet, patterned with lighter ovals in a crosshatch arrangement. A large vase with native flowers dominated the space outside the lifts, and as he walked down the hall towards room 3005, John realised the doors were further apart than in a standard hotel. The rooms up here must be massive. How much money did Toshiko have? Enough to buy twenty per cent of Tsuyoi Red without thinking, enough to attract the attention of the Federal Police’s terrorist unit. He pushed away the unsettled tumult in his stomach, blaming the lift, and not the worry that Toshiko had all the power in this situation. He blew out a slow breath. Apologise, she deserves that much, the rest could be figured out later. He knocked on Toshiko’s door, and after only a fractional pause, the door opened.
‘Toshiko.’ He heard the awe in his voice as he stared hungrily at her. God, he hadn’t seen anything so good, and right, since the first time he saw her when her competent hands stitched up the Wind Magic colt. His eyes rested on her face, taking in all the details, her clear skin, finely arched brows, full lips, and dark brown eyes staring back at him. The room faded away and he breathed in her jasmine scent.
‘John. Please come in.’
He faintly registered her polite tones as her feminine voice washed over his senses. She turned away and walked into the room, and he followed, staring at her long black hair hanging down her slim back. His eyes dipped down past her waist to her perfect heart-shaped arse and hips, covered in tight jeans, swaying as she walked. His hands stretched out to touch her, but he pulled them back before he could run his fingers over her silky hair. His mouth dried, and he knew the only word he’d be able to say would be a grunt, or a groan.
‘Would you like some tea?’ she asked.
Had she always been this gorgeous? The muscles on his spine and chest started to shake as he held himself still. Her overly polite tone kept him at bay, and he managed to nod.
‘Have a seat, John.’
He sat. Fuck, if she’d said stand on your head, he would have. She placed a cup on the small coffee table near where he’d sat and poured some tea. He picked it up, the cup clanging against the saucer as his fingers trembled and he took a sip to soothe his dry throat. The air between them prickled, and he glanced out the window to see the coming thunderstorm. The clear blue sky made him frown, it felt like an electrical storm was nearby, but there were no clouds outside.
‘Are you going to talk?’ She lifted her chin higher, her eyes narrowed at the corners as she glared at him. ‘You said we needed to talk. Now is your chance.’ The way she said it, as if this would be his only chance, made his breath stick in his throat. For someone accustomed to dominating any situation, he had an unnerving sense that she’d pulled the rug out from under his feet, knocking him off balance.
‘I …’ He licked his lips and swallowed. Her eyebrows flickered upwards in a micromovement. ‘Well, I might have overreacted—’
‘Might have?’ One eyebrow raised up high, and did he see a smirk on her lips?
He cleared his throat. ‘I definitely overreacted the other day, and I’m sorry.’
‘I understand.’
He gaped at her. ‘Do you?’ Because he wasn’t sure he understood. Not anymore.
‘Yes. Rachel told me about your father.’ Her shoulder twitched as though she meant to shrug but stopped herself. ‘It makes sense.’
‘You shouldn’t excuse me like that.’
Her mouth curled at one end. ‘Oh, I’m not. I’m most definitely not excusing you.’
He nodded. He hadn’t excused his own behaviour yet.
‘I needed you and you made it about yourself.’ Her tone slammed into him, guilt making his stomach churn, as she tilted her head slightly. Her eyes softened, and she crossed her legs. ‘But I should be thanking you.’
‘Why?’ Confusion made him press his fingers to the base of his throat. Fuck it was hot in here. He looked around to see where the heater was, so he could turn it down.
‘I had to save myself, and I’ve learned I’m strong enough without you or anyone.’
He stared at her, his thoughts frozen.
‘John?’ She called his name and he wondered how long he’d sat there, gaping at her.
‘You’ve always been strong enough.’
‘No. I don’t need your lies. I’ve spent far too many of my thirty-two years deferring to others and being polite when all I wanted was to be anywhere else. I haven’t always been strong enough to stand up for myself.’ She was truly marvellous in this moment as she berated him. He’d known she might be this amazing from the first time he saw her, except she’d ruined her competence by letting her brother run her life. Now she’d grown in confidence to become a force to be reckoned with, and he wanted to be the person she chose to have beside her while she took on the world.
‘I know what I want now, and no one is going to stand in my way.’
‘I’d like to stand beside you.’ The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he leaned forward, his heart in his mouth, waiting.
‘Would you?’
‘That’s what I came to say. I’ve realised I was wrong, and I’m sorry about everything I said.’
‘I remember everything you said, and it was sparse. I’ve had to make a lot of assumptions. I don’t like it when information is missing, so if you could please explain what you were wrong about.’
Her impertinent tone and the control as she spoke about data made his lips twitch.
‘I’m an idiot.’ He adored her, and he’d made a mess of everything. She’d gotten completely under his skin, and filled his heart, and he’d fucked it all up by letting his anger with his father control him.
‘If you meant to say you made a mistake, I’m sure there are ways you could say it without insulting yourself.’
He nodded. ‘Those few days after your arrest were the worst in my life. I had to fight bureaucracy just to see you. So much fucking paperwork, you have no idea. And then I saw you in jail, and you looked just … fucking exhausted, I wanted to do anything to save you.’
Her eyebrows lifted and the cynical look in her eye made him flinch. He hadn’t saved her, he’d screamed at her and left her to save herself.
‘Except you started talking about gambling, and a red mist started rising until I couldn’t stop myself.’ He could barely say it aloud for the shame of his actions.
‘You said you hated me,’ Toshiko whispered with a hoarse croak.
He wanted to defend himself and say he’d only said he hated gambling, but in reality, at that moment the strength of feeling inside him was akin to hate. ‘It’s indefensible. I’m sorry.’
‘And are you trying to say you’ve come to your senses and realised I’m not your father?’
He swallowed. ‘Yes.’ Thanks to his family, he knew more than that. He wasn’t his father either. ‘I want to fix this.’
Toshiko bit her bottom lip, her teeth making a little indent that he wanted to kiss better, and she tilted her head as she perused him. ‘There is one thing I don’t understand.’
‘Ask me anything.’ He held his breath, hoping against hope that her question meant he was on the road to forgiveness. Damn, seeing her sitting all contained in front of him ended all the questions in his mind. He wanted a life with her. He loved her, his competent clever veterinarian with the coolest hobby. He wanted her children, laughing on the front lawn, as he taught them to ride on an old quiet pony, just like Dusty. He wanted to cuddle them, and wipe their tears—like Dad had done—when they fell, and to boost them back on again. Confidence lost, everything lost. Love won, everything won.
‘If you hate gambling so much, why not sell the racehorses and breed cattle? Why stick with a business founded on the punter?’
