Idol pursuits, p.18
Idol Pursuits, page 18
“Our group is right in the middle of age ranges,” noted Grace. “That means you’ll be addressed differently depending on whether they’re older or younger.”
“On the flip side,” said Mindy, “we’ll have to address our elders one way and our juniors another.” She provided a refresher on proper honorifics for each situation.
“How will I know the difference?” asked Erin.
“Just follow our example, for starters,” said Grace.
Vanessa was horrified at the thought of employing what little Korean she had learned in a nation of native speakers. “I’m better off just shutting my mouth the entire time I’m here.”
“We should all be so lucky,” said Erin. Vanessa smirked at the comment.
“What is the scouting report on our competitors?” asked June.
“Dream Delight is the youngest group in the show,” responded Gyeong. “They’ve been locked into cute concepts from the start, but their agency wants to use Dominion to expand their range. 2NT is hipper, edgier, and known for pulling surprises. Their agency thinks they’re primed for a breakout soon. We’ll see. Silk Summoning you are familiar with, I’m sure. They’ve been on hiatus for two years and aim for a comeback. Mint Nitty are the unnies, of course. Their careers are near an end. They’re expected to treat this show as a final lark. If you’re able to catch any group, it’ll be them. Their quirky concepts are divisive. People either love ‘em or hate ‘em.”
Grace sighed. “And don’t forget…”
“Glimmer Blue,” said Gyeong, finishing her sentence. “What more needs to be said about them? Girl crush remains ultra-popular as a concept, and they kill it every time. Producers have them well positioned to win. The only real challenge is making the inevitable coronation suspenseful enough to carry through ten episodes.”
“Then there’s us. The ultimate foils,” said Vanessa.
Her pessimism didn’t faze Gyeong, who responded by saying, “You’re the dark horse in this race. Nobody knows what to expect from Made in Heaven. It’s a powerful position to be in if you play it right. Our team is doing all it can to make you the talk of Korea. Consider that your win if we pull it off.”
This comment produced nervous laughter among the members. “I know you meant that in the best possible way,” explained Heather. “But if you knew our history, you’d understand how quickly things can spin out of control.”
Vanessa did not feel reassured by any of this talk. She decided to press the matter. “Gyeong, be honest with us. Why were we really signed? We know our capabilities, but are we here to be made fun of?”
Gyeong stared at Vanessa for a long while as if considering her response carefully. “For a brief time, that’s all they hoped to get out of the sixth slot. You changed minds with your K-Fest performance, though. I can share that openly. That said, I’m not going to gloss over things. It could get rough. Don’t take that personally. Much is beyond our control. Consider yourselves characters in a play. You have a role to fill on this show. It’ll be easier to accept whatever happens that way. I promise we’ll do everything possible to ensure you get the best outcome from this experience.”
During the walk to their dressing room, the seven members could scarcely believe what they saw. “Everyone’s so gorgeous,” marveled Erin. “I feel so inadequate.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You can more than hold your own,” said Mindy.
“She’s fishing for compliments. Stop falling for it,” said Vanessa.
“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little intimidated, too, Erin,” Heather said reassuringly.
After lunch, Vanessa grew tired of waiting in the dressing room and wandered. Eventually, she found a studio where the members of Silk Summoning were taping interviews. Nobody seemed to notice her entrance. Considering the phalanx of cameras deployed in the room, it was easy to blend in. While watching the proceedings, she spotted a young idol she recognized from Dream Delight. The girl had noticed her and turned away as soon as they made eye contact. Vanessa approached to introduce herself.
The girl’s name was Hana. Only 17, she seemed shy, if not entirely intimidated by meeting an unnie. Vanessa tried to put her at ease and suggested they visit a coffee truck that Glimmer Blue’s fan club had gifted to the idols. The girl resisted at first but was easily talked into the idea. As they approached to place an order, Hana pulled a hoodie over her head.
“Are you cold?” asked Vanessa, not even attempting Korean.
“No,” Hana responded in broken English. “Please, may you order frappuccino, no cream? I explain.”
Vanessa agreed, though she found the request humorous. Once the order was ready, she joined Hana at her chosen table, tucked in the far back corner of the dining area. It was easily the darkest one there. Hana sat facing a wall.
“What’s with all the subterfuge?” Vanessa typed the question into her translation app after sitting down.
“Nobody must know I order fatty drink,” Hana whispered. Fortunately, her English was better than Vanessa’s Korean. They managed to piece together a decent conversation by repeatedly and liberally switching between language apps and hand gestures.
Vanessa admitted to feeling intimidated by the professional environment at the studio. “We’ve been indie so long. This is all new to me. In our world, if we don’t do it ourselves, it doesn’t get done. Here, everything is taken care of. All we do is perform.”
“The girls all admire Made in Heaven,” said Hana.
Vanessa’s eyebrows arched. This surprising admission made her laugh. Hana frowned at the response, seeming to take it as ridicule. Vanessa quickly clarified. “Thank you, but I can’t imagine why you’d say that. We’re the least-famous group here by far.”
“But you’re so free in comparison,” Hana explained through the app. “Our companies are so strict. Every part of our lives is monitored. To get my weight under control for this show, I ate only ice cubes until I dropped seven kilograms. This coffee is the best meal I’ve had all week.”
“There’s a price for everything, I suppose. Our group’s been described as “thicc,” even though we’re all at the low end of average BMI.”
As they sipped coffee, another girl in a hoodie joined the table. She needed no introduction; Minjung was the main dancer from Glimmer Blue. Vanessa’s eyes widened in surprise, but Hana offered reassurance. “I invite her. She’s chill.”
Vanessa was cajoled into ordering a coffee for Minjung, too. “Why do I feel like a drug mule all of a sudden?” she asked upon returning to the table. “So what else am I missing out on as an indie?”
Hana went on to describe her experience since debuting with Dream Delight. “Managers yell at every mistake. If not perfect, we get lines cut or no screen time. Our daily clothes and food are picked for us.” Minjung remained quiet throughout but would occasionally nod knowingly. Hana went on to say the girls had no privacy at all. “Our location data is tracked. Phones are checked daily. Yeona was cut from our group for texting a male idol. Once!”
“I thought she left for family reasons,” said Vanessa.
“Official story,” responded Hana, waving her hand dismissively.
“That’s ridiculous,” said Vanessa.
“Older groups have more leeway,” explained Minjung. “But young idols are kept on a short leash. That’s the truth.”
“They want no scandals,” said Hana in agreement.
“I guess I don’t have it so bad, then. Not sure I’d survive long in those conditions.”
“I’m sure you have unique troubles, but we admire your drive,” said Minjung.
“Why does it have to be that way? Sure, it takes hard work, but you should have a life, too,” asked Vanessa.
“You must understand, we represent not only group and agency but all Korea too. Nobody wants to bring shame to country,” said Hana.
“That’s why we obey restrictions without complaint,” added Minjung. “We serve a higher purpose.”
It was at that moment that Mi-ok approached. All three stiffened instantly. Minjung looked distressed. Mi-ok leaned over and spoke softly in her groupmate’s ear but still loud enough for those at the table to hear. Notably, she used clear, though accented, English. “I won’t tell anyone about this, but you better not screw up, or there’ll be consequences. You’re on thin ice, Minjung.” She then turned to confront Vanessa. “And I’d worry about setting a bad example if I were you.” In an instant, she was gone.
“She’s a ray of sunshine. Isn’t she?” said Vanessa. “I bet it’s fun working with her.”
“Mi-ok’s relentless and demanding, that’s true. But we tolerate. She gets results.”
Hana spoke to Minjung in Korean. Vanessa couldn’t understand what they were saying, but it seemed the younger girl was asking a question. Minjung pondered a moment before nodding her head. With approval seemingly given, Hana addressed Vanessa in English with a serious look. “We know truth about Heather.”
Vanessa said nothing. Hana looked at Minjung for confirmation and received it with another nod. The Glimmer Blue dancer, whose English was better than Hana’s, elaborated. “After Heather and Grace left, we all were shock. Even Mi-ok.”
“So Mi-ok had nothing to do with Heather’s removal? Is that what you’re saying?”
Minjung nodded. “They wouldn’t tell us anything, but staff was hiding truth. Eventually, we heard whispers. Rumors. Managers would discuss among themselves. Over time, we piece story together.”
“But it got worse,” interjected Hana.
“Yes,” continued Minjung. “Management grew bold. The agency was already rotten, but all restraint left after Heather.”
“So what about the others?” Vanessa asked.
Minjung nodded. “I can’t say what others did. Each had to choose their own way.”
“No need to elaborate.”
“But word spread. And eventually, we heard similar stories from other agencies.” She looked at Hana, who nodded silently, eyes wide.
“How common is this?” asked Vanessa.
“Not all idol. Not all agency. But many. Too many,” said Hana.
“One is too many.”
Minjung continued. “Now that K-Pop is global, corrupt, unregulated agencies grow everywhere. They lure the starstruck with impossible dreams. Sign young girls with little talent under false pretenses. Tape idol shows that never air. Make records that never release. Once it becomes clear that dreams are going nowhere, the girls are pressured into becoming cam models for shady websites. Many choose to go along as they cling to what’s left of their hope.”
“Why does this not surprise me?” said Vanessa.
“There’s something else you need to know,” said Minjung. She leaned closer and spoke in a softer voice. “It would have been worse if it wasn’t for Mi-ok.” Vanessa’s mouth dropped open, but no words came out. “She sheltered us from the lowest behavior but never took credit. Wouldn’t even acknowledge her role.”
Vanessa didn’t know how to process what she had just heard. The news went against everything she had personally observed about Mi-ok. But the girls seemed sincere. On the other hand, her skepticism suggested that the entire conversation could be part of an elaborate trap to further humiliate Made in Heaven. Play nice, and once their guards were lowered, strike a blow. This would be a logical strategy if Mi-ok was as devious as she suspected. Vanessa outwardly expressed sympathy but kept these inner thoughts private. “I don’t know what to say. I find this surprising.”
“The security guard. Tell her,” said Hana.
Minjung’s eyes widened. “Okay, promise you won’t spread this.” Vanessa nodded silently. “Much of her attitude is an act, we think.”
“How so?” Vanessa was undoubtedly intrigued by this observation.
“During European tour, one friendly security guard escorted us. Very chatty. After Berlin show, Mi-ok invited him into her hotel room. No. Not what you think. She just wanted someone to talk to while eating dinner. He described her afterward as a sweet girl but sad and very lonely.”
“I can see that,” said Vanessa. “She put herself in that spot, though, don’t you think?”
“Difficult to understand that one,” said Hana. “She complex.”
“She carries a lot of weight on her shoulders,” said Minjung. “After hearing the guard’s story, we viewed her in a new light. We tolerate outbursts more.”
The trio shifted to other, lighter topics until their coffees were finished. That’s when Mi-ok returned. “You’re needed upstairs,” she said to the younger girls more as an order than as news sharing. Minjung snapped to her feet and departed without question. Mi-ok looked severely at Hana, “You too. Scram.” Hana took the not-so-subtle hint and left without offering Vanessa so much as a goodbye.
Mi-ok occupied Hana’s old seat and looked Vanessa squarely in the eyes. Her much-discussed magnetic persona at this range felt more like the glare of the midday sun. “Glimmer Blue is perfectly balanced. Not one role is missing or duplicated. Heather and I could never coexist in the same group. I’m happy she landed on her feet, though.”
“Do you feel even the slightest guilt?”
“I had no choice.”
“You always have a choice.”
“Not where I come from.” Vanessa’s smirk prompted an elaboration. “You’re not familiar with Korean society. If you were, you’d know how well-connected my parents are. From the time I was little, everyone wanted to curry their favor by pleasing me. When my agency folded, I was left stranded. My parents heard rumors about Glimmer Blue’s imminent debut and called Mr. Lee for a favor. I didn’t know Heather then and couldn’t imagine the price he would ask in return. Either way, I was bound to disappoint someone. My choice was between Heather and my parents. As you can see, that’s no choice at all. You’d do the same in my shoes. Don’t lie.”
Vanessa thought about it and couldn’t disagree with that argument. But she still felt the need to play Devil’s Advocate. “She almost didn’t survive that ordeal. Did you think of that?”
“Many times. Once I knew the truth. But Mr. Lee lied to me, too. Said we’d have a fair competition. And just once, I wanted to prove I could succeed independently without my parents interfering. So I agreed. May the best woman win. Mr. Lee’s plan, though, was to exploit Heather. I didn’t know it then, but my presence made his decision risk-free. If Heather refused, I was his backup plan. Had I known…” Mi-ok never finished her thought.
Vanessa resisted every urge to leap across the table and tear into Mi-ok. She wanted so badly to make her pay for the pain inflicted on Heather. But Sun-hee’s wise advice came to mind: First thoughts are rarely the best, especially in the heat of the moment. And if she was to be perfectly honest, Vanessa understood that sometimes events played out in unexpected ways. Had Heather joined Glimmer Blue as planned, Made in Heaven would never have existed. No plan survives contact with life, as her grandpa would say.
“Forget the past,” Vanessa finally said calmly. “We can only change the future.”
18
DYE MY HAIR BLUE
The next day at the studio, Heather watched as the studio’s video array underwent pre-show testing. For the assessment, the technicians had tuned to an entertainment news program. The report included a summary of all the new K-Pop groups scheduled to debut in the upcoming months. The list seemed endless. Heather suspected most would fail right out of the gates. There was simply too much competition for a finite set of eyeballs and so little to distinguish one from another. “Why so many?” she asked aloud to nobody in particular.
Once again, to her surprise, Mi-ok, of all people, overheard the comment in passing. In response, she shared an unsolicited one of her own. “They just keep coming. Young, hopeful kids with stars in their eyes, thinking the world is their oyster. Eventually, they learn it’s all a big lie, and the best course of action is to pick what hurts the least.”
“I see your pessimism hasn’t changed one bit,” said Heather.
“People call me a troublemaker when I’m just trying to keep my head above water. It’s the self-righteous who make things difficult. Who’s the real agitator?”
“If the system’s a mess, shouldn’t we give it as much grief as possible?”
“Still thinking you can change things. How you stay so positive after all you’ve been through is beyond me,” Mi-ok said with a tsk. She didn’t wait for a response, once again abandoning Heather with a turn of her back.
Heather expected to meet Mi-ok at some point, so this encounter wasn’t a surprise, especially in the tight confines of the studio where privacy was always in short supply. The next rendezvous, however, came as a genuine shock. While Gyeong was providing a tour of the studio facilities, she stopped mid-sentence and grabbed Heather’s arm. “Oh, that reminds me, there’s someone here I’d like you to meet. He’s important.”
“Sure,” said Heather, genuinely excited to make new contacts.
Gyeong ushered her to a small group standing by the elevators. A slender man in a gray suit, whose back was turned to them, conversed with two middle-aged women in navy blue business suits. Gyeong greeted and addressed the executive using formal speech, immediately indicating his status. “This is the main singer of Made in Heaven, our sixth group,” she continued. As she spoke, the man in the suit slowly turned to face them. “Her name is…”
“…Heather Moon,” he said, finishing Gyeong’s sentence. The corner of his mouth morphed into a sly smile. Heather’s blood ran cold when she saw his face and heard his voice. She’d never forget either.
Mr. Lee!
Heather had briefly considered the possibility of running into him at some point but dismissed it as unlikely. Now that they stood inches apart, she froze. All the imaginary conversations where she chose the perfect words to say to him were forgotten in this time of greatest need.
“Oh, I see you two are already acquainted,” said Gyeong.
