He stared at her peaceful face and thought about the fact that by being with him, she might be in danger. It appeared that someone had deliberately targeted her—targeted them—and she was in danger now.

  He never wanted that to happen. Of course he wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone associated with him; but the thought of losing Courtney stabbed at his heart. He hugged her closer. She was too important to him. He couldn’t bear to lose this woman.

  He needed to keep her out of danger.

  He might have to distance himself from her, for her sake. The thought pierced him like a sword. How could he not be with her?

  But he had to do whatever he could to keep Courtney safe.

  CHAPTER XIII

  Ben had trouble falling asleep. After deciding it could be their last night together until this culprit was caught—or he found out Courtney wasn’t in any danger—he tried not to toss and turn.

  Once she awoke. “Is something wrong?” she asked groggily.

  “A bad dream.” He clutched her. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

  “You too.” She held on to him, burying her face in his shoulder, and went back to sleep.

  Finally, Ben did too, his decision made. He would savor the feel of her in his arms for the night, and worry about things tomorrow.

  He woke up to find Courtney snuggled close to him, and he held her for a little while, enjoying the quiet moment. But then memories rushed back. The gunshot—the danger—and his decision to keep Courtney safe by staying away from her. At least for now.

  Not only that, but it had occurred to him that perhaps Courtney could be like Ann. All this talk about her family’s social climbing tendencies… could she be like them? Like Ann? He found himself thinking the same way he had for months after breaking it off with Ann… that women weren’t always trustworthy.

  But when she woke and rubbed her sexy body against him, he gave in to the pleasure. One more time. He made love with her, knowing that it could be the last time for a while, and enjoyed every moment, especially when she reached her peak. Then he allowed himself to come, and they collapsed together, their hearts beating in rhythm.

  They showered, and he deliberately kept from touching her. He knew by the tightening of her mouth that she was perturbed by his apparent coolness. But he steeled herself, avoiding touching her again.

  They ate breakfast mostly in silence. She asked a few questions and he kept his responses short. Afterwards, they packed up. “Can we talk?” he asked her.

  “My goodness, you sound so serious,” she said.

  He didn’t return the smile.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  As she gazed at Ben’s serious expression, his mouth tightening in a line, ice formed in Courtney’s stomach. Had he learned something about those threatening him?

  She perched at the end of the bed. He hesitated, and she prompted him to begin. “Ben?”

  “I don’t know how to say this.” He met her eyes. “I think we need to take a break for a while.”

  “What?” she exclaimed. “You’re breaking up with me?” Pain pierced her heart like a dagger. He was her soul mate! She wanted to be with him!

  “Not forever,” he reassured. “Just for now,”

  “Why?” Her heart hurt.

  “Because things are dangerous right now.”

  She drew in a sharp breath, feeling her stomach knot up further.

  “You’re in danger if you’re around me. Friday proved it.” He stood and paced in front of her.

  Tears formed in her eyes. “You’re the target, not me,” she protested.

  “I won’t risk you getting hurt, or worse,” he declared. “If anything happened to you, Courtney, I—I couldn’t stand it.” He looked away for a moment, then his eyes returned to her, and she could see the worry on his face.

  “I’ll risk it.” Her voice was scratchy.

  “No. You shouldn’t. You’re only in danger because of me.”

  “But Ben—” a tear slipped down her cheek.

  “No. I need you to be safe.” He shook his head. “You’re so important to me.”

  “I want to stand by you.” She loved Ben, and intended to do just that. “And if they know so much about me, I could be in danger even if you’re not with me.”

  A disturbing thought occurred to her. Maybe he didn’t care about her as much as she cared for him. Maybe he was using danger as an excuse to distance himself from her?

  “Is this just—just an excuse to break up with me?” Her voice cracked. The last few weeks had been really intense. Maybe he didn’t want to be in a relationship. Maybe he wanted to be unencumbered?

  “No,” he said firmly. “Of course not.” He sat beside her and took her cold hand in his warmer one. “I—care about you Courtney. A lot. And this is a temporary thing. Just until the culprit is caught—”

  She felt only marginally better. “But he might not be caught for months!”

  “We’ll still keep in touch, by phone and email,” he said, squeezing her hand. He dropped it and stood up again. “Can’t you see this hurts me too? But it’s the only way I know to keep you safe.” He moved in front of her, pulling her into his arms. She leaned against him. She could hear his heart hammering near her ear. He felt so solid as she pressed her face into his chest.

  “It’s the only way I can think of to ensure you’re safe,” he said.

  “I don’t think that will keep either of us safe,” she whispered, hugging him. God, she would miss him if she couldn’t see him on a regular basis. “I will miss you so much.”

  “And I will miss you too,” he responded. “But at least I’ll know you’re not in danger.”

  “There’s no guarantee of that,” she protested. “If we’re both in danger, at least we’ll be together.”

  “I can’t risk it.” He hugged her, then let her go. “We have a lot of people working on this, Courtney. They’ll catch whoever it is soon.” He came back to stand by her and take her hands.

  His were warm against her cold ones. She grabbed on to them as if his hands were life preservers as he continued.

  “Our separation is only temporary, sweetheart. We’ll be together again soon.”

  Exhaustion filled her, and the fight in her dissipated. “I don’t like it.”

  “Neither do I. I was up a lot last night, and I can’t think of any other way to ensure your safety. If anything happened to you—I would be devastated. I can’t stand the thought of you being hurt, Courtney.” He tipped up her chin and looked into her eyes.

  She held onto his other hand. “I feel the same.”

  “So, let’s be apart for a little while. Then I’ll consult with the police and Matt’s security team and reassess what danger still exists.”

  Her heart felt heavy as he said the words.

  The following week was extremely difficult. Her heart ached for Ben and the knowledge it would be a while until she saw him was like carrying a heavy stone around.

  Ben called every day, and though she was reassured that he was safe, she missed him so much it hurt physically. Her stomach was in knots.

  She knew she still had a security person following her, and was glad for that, but the days had seemed to drag, even with her absorbing job. Pam, Sabrina and Meredith all had noticed that something was wrong, and had given her hugs and quiet assurances that this was a temporary situation when she explained the problem,

  “I hope so,” she’d said to Meredith. “But I’m not convinced.”

  Ben called every night, and her stomach twisted when they talked, feeling the pain from not having the weekend with him to look forward to. It was a lonely weekend for her, filled with longing for Ben.

  Two weeks later, on Wednesday, she tried to rally as she drove to her parents’ home to celebrate Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.

  She suspected she’d be asked repeatedly about Ben, and she was right.

  Her mother brought up the topic almost as soon as she entered the house.

  “Come, help me in the kitchen,” she commanded. “And tell me about Ben Greenfield.”

  “There’s not much to tell,” Courtney said. “Especially since we’re taking a break from seeing each other right now.”

  “What? A beautiful girl like you and he wants a break? Courtney, put the Challah on the dining room table.”

  “He’s had loads of beautiful girls after him,” Courtney said wearily and took the traditional Jewish bread, placing the platter it stood on carefully on the dining room table.

  “You probably should have tried harder,” her mother criticized.

  “Mom, leave her alone.” Her older sister, Melissa, entered the dining room. “Hi Courtney.” She hugged her.

  Courtney sent her a grateful look. Melissa always championed her.

  “Can’t you see she’s unhappy about it?” Melissa continued to their mother. “It’s not her fault. Maybe the guy’s a total jerk.”

  “No,” Courtney defended him. “He’s in danger now. You read about the attempt on his life. I can’t discuss the reasons now, but he thinks this is the best way to keep me safe.”

  “That’s good,” her father chimed in from the living room. Their split-level house made it easy to share the conversations everyone was taking part in. “Your safety is paramount.”

  “Hmphh. With all his money, he can hire bodyguards,” her mother stated.

  “He has hired security.” Courtney sent her sister a look that was a plea for help.

  Her younger siter, Sherry, entered the room. She must have heard the conversation also because she tried to steer it in another direction. “So tell us more about your job,” she said. “You said in your text last week you were regressed again and researching past lives?”

  “I was talking about Ben Greenfield,” their mother said. “He’s very rich. A great catch and Courtney should fight to hold on to him.”

  Her mother made it sound like he was a fish. “I did!” Courtney exclaimed, close to tears. She hated that her mother was such a status-conscious and money-conscious woman. Was that all Ben was to her, a potential wealthy son-in-law? Not a man she cared about who was in danger?

  “Leave her alone.” Melissa declared. “Can’t you see she’s feeling badly? She doesn’t want to talk about him now.” Melissa put an arm around Courtney.

  “Okay,” her mother grumbled. “Melissa, you bring in the green bean casserole.”

  Relief swept through Courtney. She followed her sisters into the kitchen to grab the remaining food, guessing the respite from questions would be short lived.

  She was right. Once her aunt Carol and her uncle and cousins joined them, the questions started again.

  “He’s quite a catch, this Ben Greenfield,” her mother’s sister Carol started in.

  “Let’s not discuss him now,” Courtney’s father said.

  “Oh?” asked her aunt.

  “I’m not seeing him right now, so let’s not talk about him, “Courtney said, loudly and firmly enough to shut down the conversation. Carol opened her mouth but Courtney glared at her, and she shut it with a snap. Courtney couldn’t stand this interrogation.

  After lunch, when they were clearing the dishes, Courtney heard her aunt asking her mother about Courtney’s relationship to the” billionaire.” Her mother must have finally gotten the hint that Courtney was unhappy, since she shushed Carol. Courtney was ready to leave early to avoid more nagging and embarrassing questions, but her sisters convinced her to stay and talk to them.

  “C’mon, let’s go up to my old room so we can talk,” Melissa whispered. “What are you wearing to cousin Jacob’s wedding? They invited Elliot to come with me.”

  Cousin Jacob was on their father’s side of the family, and he and his fiancé were getting married right before Thanksgiving. Elliott was Melissa’s long-time boyfriend. Everyone kept expecting an announcement soon from Melissa and Elliott. But Melissa had confided in a phone call a few days ago that she wasn’t sure about him “Í don’t want a marriage just because it’s expected of me,” she’d said. “Just because he’s a doctor everyone expects I want to marry him, but I want someone who truly loves me, and I’m not positive he does,” she had stated.

  Courtney’s response had been instantaneous. “Then don’t! You should marry only for true love.”

  Melissa had changed the subject abruptly.

  Now Courtney repeated her question when they were in Melissa’s old room. “How do you really feel about Elliott?”

  “I thought I loved him,” Melissa said. “But how do I know?” She dropped on her bed, the one she’d slept in for years until going off to college and Courtney took over the room so she didn’t have to share with Sherry. Melissa and Courtney still had some things in their old room, old clothes, memorabilia and books. A Spice Girls poster hung in the room, near Melissa’s old CD player.

  “You’ll know,” Courtney said firmly. “I know I love Ben. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Melissa asked gently.

  Before she could answer, Sherry knocked on the door and asked to join them. When she was inside, Courtney asked her to close the door. Then Courtney let it all out, and told them the story of her relationship with Ben in more detail, conscious that other family members were downstairs. Both her sisters knew of her first experience with being regressed. She’d also told her sisters about their own significant past lives: including during World War I, when they’d been sisters living in New York City.

  Courtney now went on to tell them how she met Ben, how she was convinced he was Antonio back in her Renaissance life. And about her most recent regression. She broke down as she described how she was in love but that he was concerned about her safety. “So we’re not seeing each other now,” she cried. Reaching for a tissue, she went on. “And, I miss him so much.” She blew her nose.

  “That’s tough,” Melissa said, “But it sounds like he does want to get back together with you.”

  “But what if he changes his mind?” Courtney grabbed another tissue and blotted her tears. “Plus I suspect something else is bothering him about our relationship.” She didn’t know what caused her to think this; it was more of a gut feeling the last few days. But her experiences with the paranormal had taught her to trust her gut.

  “He won’t change his mind.” Sherry declared staunchly.

  “I love him, and miss him,” Courtney admitted.

  Melissa put a sympathetic arm around her.

  “I wish I felt that sure about Elliott,” Melissa said. “Mom’s been nagging me, of course, to make a commitment. Even dad has asked me about my relationship.”

  “I think,” Courtney said with a sniff, “you should wait until you’re sure.”

  “I agree,” Sherry added.

  “I’m thinking at this moment that if I’m not sure after seeing him for a year, then I shouldn’t plan to spend my life with him,” Melissa said slowly. “Of course, mom will be disappointed. You know how she always lectures us to marry a doctor.”

  Sherry laughed. “I know. She doesn’t realize doctors don’t make as much money as they used to.”

  Courtney and Melissa nodded.

  “Hey, why don’t we go back to my place?” Melissa suggested. “We won’t be nagged there. I have a sofa bed so I have the room.” Melissa’s apartment was only ten minutes away. “We can discuss this more, away from curious relatives; and watch a movie or something.”

  Courtney agreed right away.

  Sherry declined. “I’m going to head back to school in a couple of hours. At least there I won’t hear nagging about how if I can’t marry a doctor, a lawyer would be almost as good.” Sherry grimaced. Sherry was in her second year of law school.

  They went back downstairs. And Melissa announced they were leaving. Their mom frowned.

  “Will you be here for Yom Kippur?” she asked Courtney. “It’s on a weekend.”

  “No. I’m going to a synagogue near my apartment,” Courtney told her. “The traffic coming out here is always so bad.”

  Her mother hugged her. “Remember, you could do a lot worse than marrying a billionaire. Hang on to Ben.”

  Courtney made a face. “I’ll try, but not for the reasons you want.”

  Her mother turned to Melissa, “And you, young lady, better give some thought to making Elliott commit to you.” She spoke like her daughters were teenagers.

  Melissa rolled her eyes.

  Once Sherry had left Courtney followed Melissa to her apartment. There, they discussed Melissa’s dilemma again.

  “You should be cautious if you’re not sure he’s the one,” Courtney advised.

  Melissa sighed. “I need a break. I need to get my mind off Elliott, and you need a break from Ben. Let’s see what’s on TV.”

  They looked at the programming channel. “Oh, look! That movie, ‘Love Story’ is on. I’ve never seen the whole thing. Can we watch it? I have popcorn here,” Melissa suggested.

  “I remember Mom had the book,” Courtney said. “She said it was a bestseller when she was in high school, but that it was sad. I read it anyway and it was a tear-jerker.”

  “Is it okay to watch a sad movie?” Melissa regarded her anxiously.

  “Sure,” Courtney replied.

  They watched and ate popcorn, laughing at some of the dated clothing and ideas. They weren’t too hungry after their big luncheon. By the end of the movie, they were both crying.

  Courtney felt especially bad. Would she lose Ben like the hero of the movie had lost his love?

 

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