Pursuit of innocence, p.28
Pursuit of Innocence, page 28
What? He thinks the worst is over? This is going to kill me. I’m going to combust if I watch him while he rubs himself off. Oh God, my core is aching. He undoes his pants and brings them down enough to release his engorged member. He grabs it, squeezes it hard and groans. His hand moves up and down slowly.
“Fuck me. This won’t take long, sweetheart. You’ve got me so worked up, baby. Watching you submit to me is the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Seeing your ass red for me. Knowing you’re going to feel that every time you sit tomorrow. Fuck!”
He’s pumping his hand up and down. I can tell from the veins popping out on his forearm how tight he’s squeezing. Holy shit it’s sexy. His eyes are on me, my body, my breasts, my eyes. His hand is pumping furiously now, his face tense as he gets closer to climax. He leans his head back and closes his eyes shut for a moment before he orders me up on my knees, off my heels.
I straighten up, and after he pumps his cock a few more times, he grunts loudly and comes, shooting out all over my front, marking me. And I swear it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. After the last pulse, he pulls my head down so my mouth is at his tip.
“Clean it off. Now. Every last drop.” And I do. I lick what’s left on the tip and then close my mouth around him to suck off any remaining. I moan around his cock, before he yanks me off. “Fuck, Lily. You make it so goddamn hard to resist you, woman. I want to fuck you so hard right now. And just think, if you hadn’t been a bad girl, I would be.” With that, he leans over, takes my head in his hands and kisses me passionately while I’m throbbing with need. But I know there’s no satisfaction for me until later.
Sebastian
I really hadn’t planned that last part when I jerked off in front of her, but fuck if that wasn’t the sexiest thing ever. Seeing the lust in her eyes as she watched while on her knees in front of me. Shit. The urge to mark her. Fuuuck. I couldn’t resist. Not taking her after took all my willpower.
I’m still hard as we head into the restaurant. I imagine it probably won’t go down until I finish inside her later. I booked the limo intentionally for the long drive time today. I figured we’d make full use of the extra space. I may have to give in before we get to my place and fuck the orgasm out of her on the drive back; I don’t think I have it in me to wait.
“Where is everybody?” she asks after the maître d’ seats us at a table in front of the window. I brought her to the Marine Room. It sits right at the ocean’s edge, and when the tide comes up, it hits against the glass. It’s a great place but has no privacy. Not unless you book the entire restaurant for the evening.
“I reserved the whole place tonight. I want you all to myself. If you haven’t realized by now, I don’t like to share.” I notice a distressed look on her face at my words and wonder why. “I also thought we’d enjoy dinner without the possibility of running into someone I may know like last time.” At that, she smiles.
“You don’t have to do that, Sebastian. I realize you have a past. I try not to dwell on that fact, but I know it’s there.” Crap, I really should say something about my idiotic comment before. I knew it bothered her right when it came out.
“Yeah, and sorry about bringing that up yesterday. I wasn’t thinking straight in my postcoital bliss. I apologize if I upset you, and it won’t happen again. I’m being truthful when I say that any sexual encounters from my past don’t hold a candle to ours. You have absolutely no reason to be jealous of anyone before you.” I reach for her hand, and she blushes. I hope she believes me, because it’s the honest to God truth. I’m unsure how long I can hold on to her without the promise of more that she’s looking for, but I’ll try for as long as possible because I’m wrecked for anyone else.
“Thank you. It was uncomfortable to hear, not to mention bad timing. But like I said, I’m not stupid. I know you’re very ‘well traveled.’ I’ll remember your words and try not to let it get to me again.”
“Good.” She makes things so easy. How is she so perfect?
The waiter arrives to take our drink order, and I choose a bottle of wine to share. He leaves us to review the menu.
“Would you like me to order for you, or do you know what you want?” I remember her sticker shock at the prices from our last date, so I took matters into my own hands, but now I think she’s starting to understand that this is my lifestyle and accepting the cost that goes with it.
“I’d be fine either way, but I loved what you ordered last time, so why don’t you pick.” I fucking love that she gives me control so much. There couldn’t be a woman more suited for me. Damn, I need to stop thinking that way.
“Sounds good. I’ll get a few things, and we can try a little bit of each. I’ll leave the dessert up to you, as you seem quite good at that.”
“Oh, but yours was so much better,” she says seductively. My little vixen. She’s come out of her shell so much and I love knowing it was me who brought her out of it.
I give our order to the waiter after he serves the wine, and once we’re alone, I pick up the glass to toast. “Here’s to another lovely evening with the sexiest woman alive and currently the most sexually frustrated.” I wink as we toast.
“I’m doing okay at the moment, but I was pretty much ready to jump you earlier, or at least die trying. That was torture!” I burst out laughing. I love how often I laugh with her.
“I’d have liked to see you try. It was meant to be torturous. And you know if it got to be too much you could’ve used your safe word. How do you feel about the punishment thing altogether? Is it something you would be okay with happening in the future? Was it tolerable? Did it turn you on?”
“That’s a lot of questions at once. It was barely tolerable. One more time and I probably would’ve had to stop you. I was embarrassed and honestly a little humiliated, like I was just letting you do it for no good reason, and that frustrated me. But at the same time, it obviously turned me on. The things you said. And what you did at the end.” She looks down, blushing, and picks up her wine.
“That’s why they call it being submissive—you’re giving in to me, and it’s sexy as hell. It also shows you’re putting your trust in me not to truly hurt you. You should also understand that I’m not trying to humiliate you. I like control, Lily, in all things, and you giving it to me means the world. I won’t steer you wrong, sweetheart, and if it ever gets to be too much, you can always stop with your safe word. I promise, there’s a lot more pleasure to be had than pain. You’ve only seen a small portion of it.” I’ve had my hands on some part of her body this whole evening, but now I slide my hand up her leg and graze my hand in between. She clenches tight.
“Sebastian, you can’t. Don’t tease me. I can’t take it at this point.” She looks at me apologetically.
“We better change the subject then. How about this, you ask me something you want to know, and then it’s my turn and so on.”
She doesn’t hesitate. “Why are you against relationships and love?” Really, that’s what she starts with? I assumed this would come up eventually.
“Way to dive right in. Well, quick answer, relationships lead to love, and I’ve seen love destroy people, make them lose focus and forget about other important things in their life. My turn.” An answer without the answer. I’m not ready for that yet.
“What are your plans after you graduate in a couple months?”
“I’m going to apply for employment at all the top marketing firms until I land a high-paying job and can stand on my own two feet. I’ve been living off other people’s generosity for too long, and I want to be able to support myself fully. Not working for Brad will be the icing on the cake. My turn.” Her smile is beautiful.
Perfect answer and just what I was hoping for. We may not be a marketing firm, but we employ a top-tier team for our organization and pay well. It’s perfect.
Before she gets to ask her question, our food is delivered, and I’m already ordering a second bottle of wine. Lily ends up loving what I ordered, and we eat off each other’s plates like we’ve been doing this for ages. We went back and forth with questions throughout the meal, getting to know each other, and the more I learn about this woman, the more I want to know. The more time I spend with her, the more time I want. Speaking of …
“Before I forget, there’s an event on Friday I’d like you to join me for. It’s an advertising awards gala. I’d love to have you by my side and it could be beneficial with some great networking opportunities for you.” Her eyes go wide with panic. What the fuck?
Lily
Seriously, this is the worst timing. I’m pretty sure there isn’t more than one advertising gala happening on Friday, so it must be the same thing. I’d decided to wait to bring it up since there were no people around us and I was already fricking punished once today. I don’t think my ass can handle any more. Not to mention, we’re having a fantastic time.
“Uhhh, I already have plans on Friday. I actually have to attend the gala to accept an award.” I quickly grab my glass as an excuse to look away.
“Wow, that’s great, Lily. We can go together then. What award did you win?” Oh boy, this is not going to end well.
“I won the student overall campaign award. It’s a huge accomplishment. When the professor announced it in class, he said I’d have to attend the gala to accept the award and could bring someone. Kevin was right next to me.” I see his whole demeanor change and his look darken. “It was while you weren’t talking to me, or I would’ve asked you to go. Since Kevin was there throughout the project, listening to my ideas and hearing me stress, it made total sense at the time to include him. It was a complete spur-of-the-moment decision when I asked him. But not as a date. He knows I don’t want to be anything more than friends because I’ve made that clear to him numerous times, so I figured it was okay to bring him as just a friend. And now he knows you and I are together, and I even told him we couldn’t meet for a drink before the event because that wouldn’t be okay with you, or even okay period. Sebastian? Will you please say something?”
He’s been completely stoic during my rambling. I figured he’d either yell at me, which of course he doesn’t do, or say he’d be dealing with me later. I expected some sort of reaction.
“When were you going to tell me?” he calmly asks. I can hear the menace behind his words. God, it’s unnerving; I’d rather him raise his voice.
“Tonight actually. During dinner. With people around. But then we got here, and there were no people, and I chickened out. I only asked him as a friend, Sebastian. You have to know that. I’ve had four years to date him and haven’t—he’s just not my type.” He must know that.
“So answer me this, why have you needed to make that clear to him numerous times?” Damn this guy is good. I can’t ever win an argument with him.
“Fine, because he has told me he’d like more. But I gave him the chance not to be friends if he couldn’t handle ONLY being friends. He knows that’s all we are or will ever be. He’s good, I swear. And I only didn’t want to tell you because of your reaction to the coffee thing. I wasn’t not telling you. I just didn’t think about it. And by the time I did, it was too late.” Shit. I don’t think I’m doing very good damage control. This all just sounds like crap. I should have told him the minute we started something back up. It’s not like I didn’t know how possessive he was. He carried me out of his own damn party to make a statement for Christ’s sake. Clue number one right there.
“I think it’s time we head back. We both have work early tomorrow. I’ll pay the check and we can go.” He signals the waiter for the check and hands a credit card over without even a glance.
Seriously? He’s really that mad. So what, he’s not going to finish the conversation?
“What does that mean? Are we going to talk about this on the way or go to your place to talk?”
“The conversation is over, Lily. You’ve had plenty of opportunities to talk. You chose not to. It’s simple really—if I can’t trust you, there’s no point in allowing myself to be captivated by you anymore than I already am. It’s called communication—something you clearly have issues with. I have enough issues of my own. I can’t deal with someone else’s.”
The car ride home is silent. We sit in the back of the limo, staring out opposite windows so we don’t have to look at one another. I can’t believe this went so wrong. I should have told him when he confronted me about the coffee thing, but I was too scared. In hindsight, it probably would have gone so much better. I’m pretty sure when he said the conversation was over, he also meant us.
I’m so frustrated with myself for so many reasons. That I let myself get sucked in again. That I didn’t take the chance earlier to tell him about the gala. That I’m sitting here shedding tears in front of him. But most importantly, because I let myself fall in love with a man who can’t love me back.
28
“Love Triangle”
Sebastian
“What the hell happened? I thought you got the pictures from the camera?” I’m yelling over the phone to security, trying to figure out how I woke up to a gossip magazine publishing pictures of Lily. Not only with me, but with Jackson from their date along with the three of us while in the parking lot at the grocery store. What the fuck?
The article “Real Life ‘Why Choose’ Romance?” speculates many possibilities. Still, the gist of the article is about “capturing the attention of playboy Sebastian Dubree.” I knew this would happen, damn it, and I didn’t even warn her about it. I planned to have that talk last night, but something interrupted.
“I’m not sure, but the pictures in the article aren’t the ones I deleted from the camera. They’re cell phone pictures. The guy in the corner that night must have taken some of his own. How he managed to get the others, I don’t know. We haven’t seen anyone suspicious around her, and we kept an eye out the entire time last night. There was no one.” He’s as frustrated as I am, I can tell. I know this isn’t his fault; I’m simply blaming the only person around.
The picture of us was from our first date when I picked her up. Dammit. I kissed her on purpose that afternoon, I remember. I didn’t even consider the consequences. This is my fault. The question is how to put this fire out and keep it from growing. I’m so pissed and have no one to blame but myself. “What’s your plan of action?”
“I’ll try to find the source, but they’re usually strict about it, so that’s probably a dead end. With this being a gossip piece and no privacy laws violated, I don’t have any solid ammunition to press them to release the info. I already tightened up security around Miss Thompson this morning, so we should be able to prevent any more pictures.”
“Good. It’s integral you’re there when she arrives at the gala this Friday. I don’t want her bombarded by someone looking to further the story. In the meantime, ensure no one is lurking, and absolutely no one is to approach her from the media.”
“Got it, sir. I’ll instruct my staff immediately.”
I make one last request. “Be sure you’re not obvious. I don’t want Lily knowing she’s being watched. I want her to feel normal. Make interceptions before they happen and only reveal yourself if necessary.”
“Yes, sir.”
I slam the phone down in frustration. Damn it all to hell. How did I let this happen? I usually only worry about the media at large events or celebrity hot spots. I wasn’t thinking, too wrapped up in feeling. And now here I am, without the girl who the media thinks captured my attention. Little do they know I was the one to capture her.
Dropping Lily off last night was brutal. I was so angry at her for not telling me her plans and keeping me in the dark. Would I have reacted differently if she’d told me earlier? I don’t fucking know. I get it, we weren’t talking then, but dammit, when we were, she had plenty of time to clue me in. What am I supposed to do, stand by while she has another man on her arm? That’s not how I work. Fuck the article and it’s “why choose” bullshit. I don’t share.
Lily
There was no way in hell I was making it out of bed this morning for school. It’s the first day I’ve missed all year. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to miss work. My eyes are red and puffy, and I look like hell, but who cares? It’s just Brad, and I don’t give a crap what he thinks of me. I’m pretty sure there was nothing on the calendar today, relieving me from greeting clients and having to paste on a fake smile.
I cried for hours last night before I fell asleep. Cici was out again, so it was easy to wallow in my sorrow. I’m so angry at myself for getting into this situation. And I’m angry at Sebastian for being persistent and winning me over. I was doing fine before he showed up. My life was normal, uncomplicated … boring even. Now I have multiple men in pursuit of me, when all I want is one of them.
I’ve done as much as I can to cover up the blotchiness, but not good enough according to the look on Brad’s face when he sees me. Great, I don’t want to have to explain what happened. Maybe I’ll tell him my cat died. Oh God, that’s morbid; I can’t.
“I take it you already saw the article then?”
“Uh, what?” I’m completely lost.
“Oh. I assumed that’s why you look upset. So you haven’t seen it?”
“Brad, what are you talking about?” I’m getting frustrated now.
“You might want to Google your name this morning. You’re the star feature of the gossip column today. Sebastian Dubree is a high-profile man, Lily. Who he’s dating is news, and that seems to be you. I’ll give you some time to catch up on that end, but then come see me to go over the rest of the week.” He walks away.
What the hell? I type in my name; sure enough there’s a news article from today. Oh. My. God. I read through it and cringe. The article is all speculation from the pictures they have. There are no facts. It ends with: “Is Lily the heroine in her real life ‘why choose’ romance, or are two men fighting to the end? Stay tuned as we uncover the details of this steamy love triangle.” What the actual? There’s a picture of me kissing Sebastian on the sidewalk, one of me kissing Jackson on our date, and one with all three of us talking in the parking lot. This looks awful. If I thought things couldn’t get worse, I was wrong.
