Patsy of paradise place, p.16
Patsy of Paradise Place, page 16
‘Mam, just listen to me for a minute,’ Patsy begged. ‘This has nothing to do with Billy, he didn’t even know about the baby until today.’
‘No? So whose kid is it, the Tooth Fairy’s?’
Patsy shook her head, her red curls dancing like flames in a fire. ‘It’s Bruno’s!’
Maeve’s green eyes were glacial as she stared at Patsy. ‘You little bitch! I was waiting for you to say that,’ she said. ‘Only I know different, don’t I.’
‘It’s the truth,’ Patsy said wearily. ‘We’ve been meeting every Sunday since the beginning of the summer. Bruno promised me we would be married as soon as the season ended and after that he would take me back to his home in Almeria.’
Maeve shook her head, smiling cynically. ‘That’s what you told him you wanted to do. Bruno told you that it was out of the question because you were only a kid and too young to leave home,’ she added scornfully.
Patsy shook her head. ‘No, Mam, that’s not true. Wherever did you hear that?’
‘Straight from the horse’s mouth,’ Maeve told her exultantly, ‘and I don’t mean that old nag out in the stable. I mean from Bruno himself.’
‘Bruno?’ Patsy stared at her in disbelief. ‘When did he tell you this?’
‘Several times. The last time was today, only about an hour ago.’ Maeve licked her lips, watching the bewilderment on Patsy’s face.
‘Bruno’s only just left here!’ she declared triumphantly. He came over here before his evening show started specially to tell me what you’d been accusing him of and to assure me that he’d never touched you. He said that he’d taken you out a few times, before your birthday, but that was all …’
‘Mam, that’s not true.’
‘He’d seen you a few times before your birthday but he had no idea what your age was,’ Maeve went on, ignoring the interruption. ‘He was shocked when he came over here that first time and found out how young you were. He told me that straight after that he stopped having anything to do with you.’
‘He certainly did not! We’ve seen each other every Sunday since my birthday, the same as we did before,’ Patsy told her hotly.
Maeve looked smug. ‘Bruno told me you had been over to New Brighton every Sunday afternoon pestering him to take you out, but he wasn’t having any.’
‘Pestering him! Walking to Leasowe sandhills and making love was pestering him, was it?’ Patsy exclaimed bitterly.
‘That’s what you wanted him to do, no doubt,’ Maeve taunted, ‘but he wasn’t the least bit interested because he knew you were only a kid.’
‘And all the promises about marrying me and taking me back to Almeria, I suppose I imagined he said all that, did I?’
‘He told you about his home in Spain, so you probably daydreamed the rest,’ Maeve laughed.
Patsy’s shoulders slumped. ‘I don’t know how to convince you, Mam,’ she said despondently. ‘Why won’t you listen to me, try and understand that I am telling you the truth.’
‘Why should I do that when I know you’re not,’ Maeve demanded. ‘Take a look at yourself!’ she said scathingly. ‘What do you look like? Dressed in a man’s shirt and trousers and an old cloth cap perched on your head. What fella would give you a second look let alone fancy you? I know Bruno’s no longer interested in you because he has been taking me out ever since your birthday!’ she gloated.
Patsy’s face hardened. ‘I’ve been doing my best to forget I found you in bed with him,’ she said. ‘Not something for you to be proud of, being in bed with my boyfriend, Mam! You’re every bit as bad as the neighbours say. And to think I’ve always stuck up for you when they run you down and say things about the way you carry on in the Grafton when you’re pissed out of your mind.’
The colour drained from Maeve’s face. ‘That will do, Patsy. How I live my life is my own affair.’
‘You mean affairs, don’t you. One affair after the other, isn’t it,’ Patsy taunted. ‘I can still remember the string of “uncles” you used to bring to the house when I was a little kid, while my dad was away at sea.’
Maeve raised her hand as if to lash out again, but Patsy was too quick for her. ‘Oh no you don’t!’ she said scornfully, backing away.
Her scalp crawled with sweat as she stared at Maeve wide-eyed. ‘What’s up with you, Mam?’ she asked. ‘I’ve done nothing to deserve this.’
‘No?’ Maeve’s lip curled. ‘Getting yourself pregnant and bringing a load of disgrace on both of us is counted as nothing, is it?’
Patsy’s shoulders slumped. ‘I know what I’ve done is wrong, Mam, that’s the reason why I’ve been too scared to tell you.’
‘And you’ve not given a thought about what all the neighbours will be saying about the way I’ve brought you up?’
Patsy stared at her, confused. Then she gave a wry smile. ‘When have you ever worried about what the neighbours thought or said, Mam? They’ve had plenty to talk about in the past.’
‘Be that be as it may, but I’m not standing for it now. I want you to go. I want you out of this house right this minute and I never want you to come back. So take that sack.’
Before Patsy could argue further Maeve opened the door and heaved the heavy sack out on to the roadway.
‘Go on! All your things are there, now get out,’ she shouted breathlessly. Refusing to look Patsy in the face, Maeve stood with one hand on the door, face averted, waiting for her to leave.
The moment Patsy stepped over the threshold Maeve slammed the door, so quickly and so violently that she caught it against Patsy’s heel, making her yell out in pain.
Patsy stood outside her home feeling stunned and shivering in the April drizzle. She still couldn’t believe that her mam had meant what she’d said, or that she really was throwing her out. She turned round and banged wildly on the door, but there was no response.
‘Mam!’ she yelled, banging again with her fists, ‘open up this door, it’s started to rain and I’m getting soaked.’
The silence from inside remained unbroken. Patsy crouched down to peer through the letterbox. She could see her mam was still in the hall so she thumped again on the closed door with her fist, but Maeve remained where she was, standing at the foot of the stairs, holding on to the newel post.
Tears streaming down her cheeks, Patsy grabbed hold of the heavy sack and tried to think where she could go for shelter.
Asking Billy for help was out of the question. For a fleeting moment she wondered if Maureen Murphy would help her, but the thought of all the questions Maureen’s mother and sister would ask, and the gossip that would result from anything she told them, put her off.
She stifled her sobs. No, she resolved, she’d deal with this on her own. It was bad enough that her mother had turned her out without it becoming common knowledge for the whole of Paradise Place.
The sack was heavy and what had started as an April shower had now turned to heavy rain. She was getting soaked. There was only one place she could go to shelter, Patsy thought wearily, and that was into Samson’s stable.
By now he would have been fed and settled for the night so there was no fear of Billy coming back again until morning. That would give her plenty of time to decide what to do and what to tell him, she thought as she dragged the heavy sack along the ground.
It was still only early evening and she was hungry so before taking off her wet coat Patsy went to the corner shop for buns, milk and some apples and then to the chippy.
As she tucked into her fish and chips she wondered if she ought to go across to New Brighton again to try and explain the situation to Bruno. Surely the fact that her mother had turned her out must change things, she reasoned. Even if Bruno didn’t want to go back to Almeria right away they could be married here in England.
He was a Catholic, so he knew all about mortal sin and he wouldn’t want the baby to enter the world as a bastard. Or should she go and see Father O’Brian and ask him for help? Her spirits lifted. She might even be able to get Father O’Brian to talk to Bruno and persuade him they should be married as soon as possible. Surely Bruno would listen to a priest and do whatever he advised?
Patsy screwed up the newspaper the fish and chips had been wrapped in. She’d tidy herself up and go along to the church right away.
When she opened the door the rain was lashing down and blowing straight at the stable so she closed it again quickly. It would be madness to go out in that lot, she decided. Another day wouldn’t make all that much difference. It would give her time to plan out in her mind what she should say to Father O’Brian.
Samson whinnied expectantly as she picked up an apple and rubbed it on her sleeve. She took one bite then lost interest and gave him the rest of it. As he munched away she laid her head against his warm side with a sigh. ‘You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, aren’t you, Samson?’
Her mind was in such turmoil that her head felt as if it was going to explode. She couldn’t think straight and she had no idea what to do for the best. Troubled memories floated in and out of her mind like scattered debris.
If only she could turn the clock back; if only her dad was still here. She thought about all the dreams and hopes he’d had for her future and it saddened her to know that none of them would ever come true. She would never be a teacher as he had hoped she would be, nor would she ever work in one of the impressive Liverpool shipping offices.
Perhaps it was as well that he wasn’t alive to know how badly she had failed him, she thought sadly.
She felt so tired and utterly depressed that tears trickled down her cheeks. Her back was aching so much that she wished she could curl up into a ball and never wake up again.
Struggling to her feet she groped around in the fading light for some clean straw and spread it out in a corner of the stable to make a bed for herself. She kicked off her boots, then lay down on it fully clothed and pulled a horse blanket over her for warmth.
Perhaps after she’d had a sleep she’d feel better and would be able to see things more clearly, Patsy thought hopefully as she stared into the darkness. By next morning her mam might have calmed down and she would be able to go back home again.
Chapter Twenty
PATSY FELL INTO an exhausted sleep within a few minutes of lying down on the makeshift straw bed. She slept soundly until the first pink glow in the sky forewarned another day of unsettled spring weather.
When she did waken she ached all over and for a moment couldn’t make out what she was doing in Samson’s stable. She closed her eyes again and wondered if she was still dreaming.
Gradually her mind cleared and she remembered what had happened the previous evening. She went back over the row between herself and her mam and all the awful things they’d said to each other. It was the first time she could remember her mam hitting her so hard and the memory of the vicious slap across her face brought tears to her eyes.
She was sure it must have all been a terrible mistake and the sooner she went back home and cleared the air the better. Her mam hadn’t been herself. Someone else must have done something, or said something, that had really upset her. It couldn’t simply be the knowledge that she was about to be a grandmother. Or could it?
Patsy sighed. Her mam wasn’t all that keen on babies or small children, so that could have been what had led to her violent outburst. She’d thought she was going to be saddled with a young baby around the place! As well as all the extra work that would bring she was probably worried that it might cramp her style.
Patsy smiled to herself. Her mam must feel she was too young to be a grandmother. She prided herself on how young she looked. She even boasted that with her good figure, fresh creamy complexion and shoulder-length strawberry-blonde hair, people often said she looked in her late twenties.
Patsy eased herself upright. She felt huge and clumsy as she brushed herself down and straightened her crumpled clothes. She couldn’t stay here another night without water or facilities of any kind. There was barely any light when the door was shut.
Now that she had gathered her wits together she was eager to be up and sorting things out. The first thing she’d do, she decided, would be to go and see her mam and make her understand that the baby wouldn’t spoil her life in any way. And when she’d made her peace with her mam she’d go over to New Brighton and make Bruno understand that they had to get married right away, before their baby was born.
She was on the point of pulling on her boots when the stable door opened and Billy appeared carrying a bucket of fresh water and a bag of feed for Samson.
His mouth dropped open in astonishment when he saw Patsy and he stopped just inside the door staring at her as if she was a ghost.
He ran a hand through his shock of brown hair. ‘What on earth are you doing here?’ he said, frowning. ‘What’s going on?’
Patsy grimaced. ‘It’s a long story, where do you want me to begin?’
‘Well, why you’re sleeping in here, that will do for a start.’
‘Because last night me mam kicked me out –’ she pointed dramatically towards the sack – ‘and all me belongings with me!’
‘You had a bust-up with her?’
‘Yeah, you could say that.’
‘Do you want to tell me about it?’
‘I suppose I may as well.’ Some of Patsy’s bravado seeped away. ‘You’ll probably hear about it anyway. By mid-morning I expect there will be rumours flying all round Paradise Place.’
Billy’s face remained impassive. He tipped the bucket of water into Samson’s trough and shook out the bag of feed for him.
‘Go on then, I’m listening,’ he said gruffly.
‘It’s because of the baby,’ Patsy said stiffly. ‘I don’t think my mam likes the idea of becoming a grandmother.’
Billy’s jaw tightened and his blue eyes were challenging as they met hers. ‘There’s a lot more to it than that, now isn’t there?’
‘What do you mean?’ Her voice was sharp. Her green eyes were icy as she stared back at him.
‘Well …’ He thrust his hands into his trouser pockets. ‘She’s probably upset because you‘re so pregnant and you’ve never said a word to her about it until now. If you’d told her a lot sooner then she would have had time to get used to the idea.’
Patsy’s lower lip jutted sulkily. ‘How could I tell her when I didn’t know myself?’
‘You must have had some idea,’ Billy argued. ‘Women usually know these things quite early on.’
‘Oh yes,’ she tipped back her head and regarded him cynically, ‘I suppose you know all about that sort of thing, do you, Billy Grant?’
Colour stained his face. ‘I seem to know more about it than you do,’ he snapped.
Patsy’s face crumpled. ‘Don’t shout at me, Billy. I thought you were my friend.’
‘I’m not shouting,’ he said in surprise. ‘I am your friend, you should know that, Patsy. I can’t understand why you didn’t confide in me earlier, though. How do you think I feel now that I know you’ve been pregnant all this time and I’ve been expecting you to carry on working as normal? Helping to lift heavy loads, and giving a hand to control a massive great horse, isn’t work for a girl at the best of times and certainly not for someone in your condition.’
‘Honestly, Billy, I didn’t know I was pregnant, not for a long time,’ she said emphatically. ‘I thought I was putting on weight because it was winter and I was eating so much stodge.’
‘And that’s why you’ve taken to wearing such baggy clothes, I suppose?’
‘Partly. I didn’t want people to see how fat I was getting.’
‘Even when you realised why you were getting fat you didn’t talk about it to anyone, not even me,’ Billy went on accusingly.
‘No,’ she admitted. ‘I didn’t because I didn’t want to believe it was true.’
He frowned. ‘And now your mam has thrown you out because you’re pregnant. So what are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know,’ she mumbled. Suddenly the idea of going back home and confronting her mam seemed futile. ‘Stay here until I get things sorted out, I suppose.’
‘Here? You mean here in Samson’s stable?’
She shrugged. ‘He doesn’t seem to mind.’
Billy grinned. ‘Maybe not, but it’s not a very good arrangement, is it?’
‘Then I’ll try and sort something out with me mam. I was hoping she might be feeling different about things today.’
Billy raised his eyebrows questioningly. ‘Would you like me to go round and talk to her?’
‘No, no! Don’t do that whatever you do,’ she entreated.
‘Why not? She might listen to me.’
‘You wouldn’t like what she has to say about you.’ Patsy muttered.
Billy looked puzzled. ‘What do you mean by that?’
Patsy chewed on her lower lip for a moment. ‘Well, I told you she thinks you’re the father,’ she blurted out, her face scarlet.
Billy gave a soundless whistle. His mind sped back to what had happened right there in the stable the night of Patsy’s sixteenth birthday and his heart thudded.
He looked at her speculatively. Could it be his child she was carrying? It wasn’t the first time he’d wondered about that and for a moment he felt elated.
Then common sense took over as he realised not only the improbability of that being the case, since they had only ever made love once, but also the problems it would probably cause for them both if it was true. Unless Patsy agreed to marry him, but would she?
‘So what did you tell your mam?’ he asked cautiously.
‘That it had nothing at all to do with you, of course!’
Billy scowled. Alvarez! Of course, Bruno Alvarez must be the father. How could he have thought otherwise? For a moment he saw red. He loved Patsy so strongly that he hated her. Then the feeling went as quickly as it had come and he had nothing but pity for her and the awful predicament she was in.
‘Please don’t go to see my mam, Billy.’
‘I won’t if you tell me what you’re planning to do.’
Patsy grinned. ‘First and foremost I’m going to pinch some of the water you brought over for Samson, if there’s any left, and wash my face.’
