Yesterdays warrior, p.18
Yesterday's Warrior, page 18
Thad walked to the door and watched the man depart. He shook his head and went back inside and unrolled the parchment. His heart slammed into his chest so painfully, he sat down hard on his bed. It was a letter from Dean. He smoothed the scroll out with shaky hands and began to read, the words blurring.
Thad, this is important and you need to burn this letter after you read. Even though it’s in English, you need to destroy it. Six months ago, I went to doctore and Glaucis to check the accounts and see if I had enough money to buy my freedom and Zaza’s freedom. As it turned out, I did. Glaucis made a discrete inquiry for my release. He was informed by the emperor’s clerk that because Domitian liked me so much, he would not see me released. He wished me here to entertain him and to fight for the glory of Rome.
“Fuck me,” Thad whispered and kept reading.
Dude, that was so a death sentence and there was no way I was gonna stay here and play for that fucker. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you, but dude, you wear your heart on your sleeve.
Thad snorted at that and wiped his eyes.
Doctore and Glaucis helped me, along with Felix. Don’t be mad, Felix knew more than us what was at stake. He and the doc helped me and Zaza with this. We are leaving Rome and Italy; I am too well known here. We are heading to Syria, where Zaza is from. Felix is going with us and we’re going to set up a trading post there with spices and such going through there to Felix’s family. Unfortunately, that means I’ll never see you again, but we can keep in touch via Felix, if you make it out of there. You can come to Syria; I’m sure Felix’s family will help you get there. Thank you for being my friend and my brother. Now, the really important part. You really need to act like I’m gone. There can never be any suspicion that I’m alive. For all our sakes, don’t show any kind of joy, relief or happiness for a while. Glaucis says there are spies all over the Ludus, so watch your back. Take care and watch your ass in the arena, but also with that bastard emperor. Don’t trust him when you have the money for release. Semper fi. Oorah!
Thad got up and went to the brazier. He set the sheet on the hot coals and the papyrus began to curl and burn. He let the tears slide down his face, his heart light and the tightness in his gut and shoulders eased. He thought about what Dean had said about the emperor and he felt rage wash over him. The bastard had taken everything and everyone he loved. Thad knew that he had to make it look good. He sighed heavily and poured himself more wine. He would be careful not to get drunk but he would play his part to the hilt. His friend’s life depended on it.
Θ
It took Cynyn smacking the hell out of Thad to bring him around and out of his depression. They had been in the small arena training and Thad was going through the motions. Cynyn had thrown down his sword and walked over to Thad and reached back and open hand smacked him. Thad had been shocked and Cynyn had smacked him again, harder and blood had flowed from Thad’s nose.
“We all have brother who die. You not only one. Get head out of arse,” Cynyn snarled in broken Italian and Thad had looked at him stupidly and then nodded his head. Cynyn went back to pick up his sword and Thad looked around him. There were smiles on the men around him and Thad looked back at Cynyn and then grinned.
“Well, shit, you didn’t have to bitch slap me,” he said and laughed. Cynyn snorted and shook his head and raised his shield and sword, ready to train. Since then, Thad had been a terror in the Colosseum. He had a plan and a purpose; he would earn his freedom as fast as he could. He checked with doctore and he was close. Each bout he fought hard and the crowd was enchanted and spoke his name with reverence. He had seen the senator but not Tullia and was saddened. He wasn’t sure if word had gotten out about Philo and what he’d done.
Time and again, he won and coins came his way. He fought hard and let the grief of loss and the hope to see his friend flow through his sword arm. There was fear too, the more popular he was the more money, but like Dean, the emperor could hold on to him and never free him. He tried not to think of Dean and Zaza, for he knew the joy he felt would show and there was no joy here. He had to try, however, to free himself. He was now feared and respected because any who came up against him knew they would lose. If the emperor was so inclined, they would die by Drago’s blade. The season was drawing to an end and those who were not scheduled to fight Drago breathed a sigh of relief. They were safe until next year.
One morning at training, doctore walked onto the small arena floor. Men were going at it hot and heavy. Thad noticed him but wasn’t paying attention. He was fighting Sulla, one of the Greeks. The man was lightning fast and Thad knew to keep his focus with the man. Sulla was aiming for his top position as king of the hill. Doctore stood watching them and when he didn’t move on, Thad and Sulla stopped their training and turned their attention to doctore.
“I must speak with you, Drago,” doctore said and nodded away from the men. Thad handed his sword and shield to a slave and followed doctore away from the men and the noise.
“Tomorrow, you will be given the rudis by Emperor Domitian. This is a great honor and it has not been presented to a gladiator in many years. Once you are given the rudis, I suggest you leave the arena as quickly as you can. The emperor is a capricious man and may give you the rudis, but then, he may request you stay and fight, which you cannot refuse. Do not linger. Glaucis has your accounts tallied and ready. You shall thank the emperor and then make a graceful exit and leave quickly,” doctore advised.
Thad opened his mouth to say something but closed it. He nodded and looked around numbly, suddenly unsure of what to do with himself.
“Go say farewell to your brothers,” doctore said with a slight smile, as though reading his mind. Thad turned then and headed back to the training arena, his brain buzzing loudly. He was leaving, finally, after so long. He felt like laughing and crying and terrified all of a sudden. The men stopped training when they saw him and he took a deep breath. He could only wish that his friends were with him and he might see Dean sooner rather than later.
Thad ‘Drago’ Giangreco walked across the sand, the crowd cheered and the air fairly vibrated with the roar that washed over him. His heart was hammering against his ribs and his mouth was dry. He had spent a long sleepless night, tossing and turning. He saw the senator standing beside the Emperor Titus Flavius Caesar Domitianus Augustus. Thad knew that the emperor could change his mind and he would be sent back down into the catacombs. He was a sick twisted bastard and Thad hoped the man would die a painful death when the time came.
He was careful to keep the hate out of his eyes and his face passive. No need to give the bastard cause. His mouth was so dry that his tongue was stuck up against the roof of his mouth. He tried to bring moisture to his mouth but couldn’t. He hoped that he wouldn’t have to talk because he knew he would humiliate himself. Romans were pitiless and demonstrative fear in a gladiator would have a sword plunged into his chest.
Nearly twenty feet above him, Emperor Domitian looked down his nose, his dark eyes bright and fierce. His eyes shifted over to Senator Pansa, his face reflected excitement and Thad wondered at it. That saw shifting behind Marius Pansa was his daughter, Tullia. His heart flipped at seeing her. He had not seen her in a long time and she was as beautiful as ever.
His eyes curved over her exquisite features and he nearly chuckled at the determined glint in her eyes. She was spoiled and got what she wanted and his heart flipped a bit, he didn’t care. She wanted him and he had to admit, he wanted her.
Though Tullia was spoiled, she had an innocent sweetness about her and he was glad he had been privileged by her father’s patronage. Around him, the crowd quieted in hushed anticipation. His eyes shifted over to an aide and he was able to swallow. The man held the wooden sword of valor and Giangreco knew he was going to become a freed slave and with the gold he’d accumulated over the last years, he would leave Rome and find a quiet life to live, away from the violence and death. He knew that Felix would open his home and help him get to Syria and perhaps work for Felix’s family and Dean. That wouldn’t be a bad way to go, he only knew he didn’t want to live in Rome.
“Our Drago has done us proud and it is with joy and pride that we give him our grace,” Emperor Domitian announced, his arms spread wide. The crowd dutifully cheered; they knew their obligation.
“I also have magnificent news, our Senator Marius Pansa has officially adopted young Drago!” Domitian announced.
Thad was stunned and he felt shock vibrating through his body. He knew that Marius Pansa was fond of him and the two shared an abhorrence of violence and death that permeated Rome. Both agreed that it was a rampant disease eating at the heart of Rome. With the adoption, Thad chances and options on the outside were substantially enhanced. He now had a name behind him and a name meant everything in this era. He would not see Dean as soon as he had planned, perhaps never, but he could communicate to him. He felt tears prickle and bit back on the emotion, stuffing it down hard. Romans liked gratitude but they didn’t like any show of weakness and his tears would be perceived as weakness, he was sure. Once more he wished his friends could be here and he wished that he could also see Dean again. He could have used Pansa’s influence to buy their freedom. It was a bittersweet moment for Thad.
Thad went down on his knee and bowed his head in humble acceptance and appreciation. The crowd was losing their ever-loving minds. These people, as bloodthirsty as they were, had a sentimental streak in them and loved a fairytale ending. He stood erect and looked up and realized that Tullia was stepping up beside her father. Pansa turned and lifted a hand and his daughter took it. She smiled up at Pansa and Thad saw the determined triumph in her eyes.
“Our Drago is also to marry the fair Tullia and we shall hold a glorious celebration for the ages!” Domitian announced with showmanship-like enthusiasm. The crowd became insane with glee and cheering.
Thad was stunned and he felt a hysterical laugh fighting its way up into his chest. His life that had been held captive by Rome and the Colosseum. It was now being given over to the senator and his daughter. He had not been asked, he had not been consulted. It absolutely stunned him. To refuse was to die and Thad thought it was a good thing that he cared about Tullia. If he found her repugnant, he would just be shit out of luck and would have to live with a woman he didn’t wish to be around or married to.
Θ
Senator Pansa’s eyes slid over to his daughter and sighed inwardly. He loved his child dearly and he was grateful that she at least had the sense to want a good man, for Drago, or rather Thaddeus, was a good man and was of like mind as himself. He had thought of the adoption for a very long time, almost since the first time he’d met the young man. There had been something that he deeply respected and liked. Adopting the young man was the right thing to do. He had no living sons and he needed his name and his life’s work to go on. In Thaddeus, he saw a man who could and would carry not only his name but bring him grandsons and carry on the important work in the senate.
His eyes slid over to Domitian, it was nearly impossible to keep a sneer off his lips, but Pansa did so. Emperor Domitian was a rapacious egomaniacal self-appointed demigod. But Pansa knew that the boy’s very life depended on Emperor Domitian’s good graces. Pansa knew he was a dying breed, a cry against the violence that was endemic in Rome. There were few in the senate that would ever voice their thoughts against the emperor and his slippery grip on the masses.
He saw the astonishment in Thaddeus’ eyes at the surprise announcements of the adoption and marriage. So, the boy didn’t expect any of this and that somehow pleased Pansa. It also pleased him that the crowd was enthusiastic of this outcome. The citizenry did hold sway over the emperor and if they didn’t like what they were given, they could sway the emperor in another direction.
His eyes found young Thaddeus and he felt a sense of accomplishment. He’d paid a ransom for the wooden sword of valor and Thaddeus’ freedom. He knew it was only a matter of time before Thaddeus was killed in the arena. He didn’t dare wait until the young man won or bought his freedom. No, it was smart on his part and he now had a son and a famous gladiator as a son-in-law. He had plans for the boy.
Θ
Thad shifted uncomfortably in the saddle. He was not a horseman. In fact, this was the first time he’d ever been on a horse and he was torn between fear and embarrassment. Senator Pansa had a servant holding the reins of his horse, so the animal wouldn’t bolt. As long as the horse didn’t run off, Thad thought he would be okay. His heart was light and he had not looked back when he’d walked out of the Colosseum. Up until he had actually left the Ludus Magnus, he’d been terrified that the emperor would change his mind. He had left friends behind but their lives were forfeit to the people of Rome; he could only keep them in his prayers.
He thought about his parents and he bit down on his lip. It was the first time in a long time that he’d thought of them. To do so before would bring up emotions that he dared not indulge, except in the darkest of night. He was nearly two thousand years in the past and he would never ever see them. He thought about all his friends who had died. Their courage and valiant efforts wasted in death. Whether they were taken by sword, knife, lion or turn of fate, it didn’t matter, they were gone. At least Dean had gotten away, though he was banished far away from Thad. Syria was a hell of a long way from Sicily. His friends had been true Marines and true warriors and he would never forget them. He only wished that Septimus, Greg and Marco could have survived, perhaps in time, he could have helped them out of the life of the gladiator.
He turned his head when he heard Tullia’s laughter and she and her body servant were chatting. He and Tullia would consummate their marriage once they reached Sicily. It would seem that he wasn’t the only one who wanted to get out of Rome quickly. The senator had made haste and they had left the city quickly. There would be a ceremony and officiates, then he and his bride would make it official. It was a great honor to be married by the emperor. The great Drago weds a senator’s daughter and adopted by a great family. Thad chuckled mentally; it was something that was so totally left field and surreal. It was the first time in a very long time that he felt real hope and real joy. Dean was going to lose his mind when Thad wrote to him. He would send the letter to Felix’s family and he was sure that the family would ensure that Dean would get the letter. For now, he’d live each day as it came.
PTSD would be his friend for years to come he was sure and he hoped that Tullia would understand. The perpetual horror that he’d lived for the last three years would never leave him and were apart of him like an oily second skin. He would give much to shed that skin, but that was wishful thinking. He would have to put that life behind him and look forward to going to Sicily. His head swam with the knowledge of going to his family’s home. He remembered saving his money, so he and his parents could go and visit Sicily to find their family’s seat. He would be making the trip now, but without them and he felt a wave of sorrow sweep through him. It seemed so long ago and he had changed so much. He wondered what his parents would think?
He blinked back tears and cleared his throat. He took a deep breath and let out a long shaky sigh. It did no good to think of his parents or his friends right now, he would need privacy to let the grieving and hopefully the healing begin. He hoped never to see another gladiatorial game again. He sure as hell never wanted to see the emperor again.
They were now on the Via Appia Antica, one of the main arteries in and out of Rome. It was also the road where over six thousand of Spartacus’ people were crucified in 74 BC. He looked around at the beautiful landscape and the cypress trees that lined the road. The wind blew sweet and it washed the stench of Rome from his nostrils. The perpetual knots that roped his shoulders began to loosen. Three long years of hell was receding in the distance and he was giddy with joy, relief and sadness. Survivor’s guilt was heavy in his gut, but he knew he and Dean were the lucky ones.
“You look pensive my son,” Marius said.
“I’m sorry sir. This is very overwhelming to me. I’m very grateful,” Thad said.
“Please, call me father and I understand my boy. We both understand that Emperor Domitian could have easily refused your freedom and made a spectacle of your death.”
“Yes, father, I know. I was fearful that at any moment, things would go sideways,” Thad said, feeling odd calling another man father. He felt a heavy pang for his own father.
“Sideways?”
“Sorry father, I mean yes, it could have gone badly. Thank you again for adopting me, father. Truly. When I was told I was to be freed, I wasn’t sure what I would have done after leaving, I only knew that I needed to be away from Rome,” Thad said with a chuckle.
“I think you know I have plans, my boy. As you know, I have no living sons, nor heir and so I believe you shall be worthy of my family’s name and carry on my work in the senate. Mind, it will take years yet, but I shall introduce you into the world of politics and the senate,” he said.
“Thank you, father, thank you for all that you have done for me. Thaddeus Pansa has a good ring to it. I hope I do you and the name proud. Thank you again,” Thad said with a soft smile and Marius laughed and slapped him on the shoulder.
“Pansa may have a good ring to it, but it isn’t my family’s name, son. It is the name I use for the senate and official documents and lawmaking. My family’s name is Giangreco.”
IL EPILOGO
10 Anni Dopo
Dean and Felix stood at the dock. Jablah, Syria was a thriving port and the two men watched as their cargo was being loaded. It would make the long journey to Rome and Felix’s brothers would take over from there. Dean looked over at his friend and smiled.
“I received a letter from Thad. He’s heading back to Rome. He’s not happy about it. He said his father is turning his senate seat over to him officially,” Dean said.
