Broken souls, p.14
Broken Souls, page 14
Elle whispered in Savannah’s ear, “I’ll see you at the car.”
Savannah nodded. “I’ll give my condolences to the family and be right behind you.” She stood in line. Walking up to them when it was her turn, she said, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” She didn’t want to add anything more because she didn’t want to be recognized. With the people waiting in line to pay their respects to the family, she was sure they wouldn’t indulge in further conversation either.
She turned and bumped into a man. “I’m sorry!” she said quickly, looking into familiar blue-green eyes. She froze. It was Caleb. A sense of paralysis took over her body, and her eyes widened behind her sunglasses.
“Excuse me, but I just need to pay my respects,” he said.
His hair had grown longer along with his beard, but he was still handsome. The familiar fragrance of the aftershave she had bought him on his birthday lingered in the air between them. Nodding without saying a word, she hurriedly walked down the path and entered Elle’s car. Her stomach was knotted. Her breathing was fast. She took off the scarf and sunglasses, which had made her feel claustrophobic.
“What’s wrong?” Elle asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
She turned towards Elle. “I just bumped into Caleb. Get me out of here.”
Elle started the car and drove out of the cemetery faster than Savannah could blink her eyes.
The drive back to Cowichan Bay made Savannah ponder. She was thankful she’d worn the sunglasses and the scarf. It was a close call. What if he had recognized me? What would I say to him? What would he say to me? The fact that he still sprayed the same aftershave made her wonder if he missed her. She had seen his new girlfriend beside him when she glanced back before hurrying into Elle’s car.
Even a year and a half later, her heart hurt with his betrayal. She thought she had moved past it. She thought she was finally getting over it. Fate had taken a different turn, bringing him back into her life… right in front of her. She had tried to move on. She hadn’t dated yet. She wasn’t open to that possibility. She had the children, the restaurant and the cafés to worry about.
Her mind then wandered to Cole. Their moments evoked mixed signals. He hadn’t said much to her... even at the wedding or the days after that. Maybe it was the wine again. Maybe she didn’t need anyone. Maybe she just wanted someone during moments like these when her past crept up. Checking her phone now, she saw that she’d missed a couple of messages and calls from Cole. She messaged him saying, that she would update him when she got back. She called Geeta to find out how the children were doing.
“Don’t worry, Didi,” Geeta said reassuringly. “They are fine. They ate and had their naps in the afternoon, and they are outside playing with Oreo. I will bring them inside soon and give them their bath and dinner.”
Sighing on the phone after the conversation with Geeta, she was glad to be heading back to her house, even though a feeling of melancholy had taken over.
Arriving at her house, Savannah sat in the driveway for a couple of seconds before heading inside. It was 8 p.m., and she knew the children were probably in bed. She entered quietly and heard the television softly playing in the living room. Geeta is still up. Probably working on the laptop.
Plopping herself on the small bench just in front of the door, she sat there for several minutes with her head hung in her hands. She could feel her eyes tear up as she thought about Patty. Her words about Caleb and how great he was for her only brought flashes of Caleb and Caroline in bed together. Just as a tear was about to roll down, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Discreetly brushing away the almost fallen tear, she looked up.
Cole stood in front of her, looking down at her. “Are you all right?” he asked softly.
Without saying a word, she got up and held on to him. She needed to be comforted. She needed to be embraced. She didn’t want to answer any questions, nor did she have the strength to deal with her emotions just yet. She had come to her house. Her familiar ground, in the arms of someone new who was not Caleb and somehow, she felt safe at that moment, in that second. She had come home to Cole.
With no questions asked, with no answers given, she stood there embracing him without any words uttered, yet again.
CHAPTER 28
One Saturday night at the beginning of June, Cole waited for Savannah to arrive at his house. He had wanted to pick her up for their ‘date’, but she insisted on driving.
“It doesn’t make sense for you to come here and pick me up and drop me back,” she said. “I’ll bring the car over to your place.”
Disheartened because he had bought white lilies and wanted to surprise her with them, he changed plans at the last minute. He decided to take her out for dinner and dancing. He had finally mustered up the courage to talk to her about going out after he had broken up with Stephanie, who took it rather well, much to his surprise.
He had come by Savannah’s house two weeks earlier to discuss their date and found her sitting slumped on the bench beside her door. She didn’t say much to him then, but the next day while sitting on the docks, which he knew was her favourite spot, she told him about Patty while watching the cotton-candy sky sunset. He hated seeing her so sad. He hated that she had to deal with awful incidents back to back.
His doorbell rang at 7 p.m. He opened the door and saw her. He stood breathless. She looked gorgeous in a royal purple dress that hugged her curves.
“It’s too much, isn’t it? I over-dressed, didn’t I?” she asked, biting her lip.
Shaking his head, unable to utter any words, Cole walked up to her and gave her the flowers. “I wanted to surprise you with these.”
“Thanks so much,” Savannah said. “They are gorgeous.” She kissed him on the cheek.
His heart skipped a beat when her lips brushed his cheek. “So are you.”
She looked at him with her big, honey-brown eyes. “Thanks.” She looked away. “Shall we?”
Cole had made a reservation at one of the finest dining restaurants in the city. After a delicious seafood dinner, he drove towards the club with Savannah sitting beside him. According to the radio, the temperature was a cool twenty degrees Celsius, which would drop down to fifteen in the night. Chit-chat about work and his brother’s children continued on the drive.
They reached the club and hopped out of the car. The Jazz Salsa Club was exactly like the name sounded. Entering the club, he had reserved a small, private table for the two of them in the corner. The place was packed with couples dancing in the center with soft, warm lights all around them.
After ordering drinks and small bites, Cole took out his black blazer to be more comfortable. His dark blue jeans and a thin white sweater made him feel more relaxed. He watched Savannah take a sip of the red wine he had ordered for her. She had insisted even at the restaurant that she didn’t want wine. Probably because she didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. However, he knew that she loved wine and ordered it nonetheless. He no longer had urges with work keeping him quite busy. He watched her body sway to the music while sitting down.
“Ready?” she asked.
He didn’t know how to salsa. He knew she’d been taking lessons over the months, and that’s why he brought her here. He wanted her to have fun. To smile. To laugh. So far, the plan was working until she asked him to dance.
“Umm…,” he fumbled, clearing his throat. “You go ahead. I’m not good at dancing.”
“What are you talking about? I saw you bust some moves at the wedding,” she said. “You’re a quick learner.”
He shook his head.
She didn’t take no for an answer. “I’ll teach you,” she said, holding her hand out.
Knowing he couldn’t get out of it, he took her hand and walked towards the dance floor. He licked his lips. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself… or her. Pretty soon, he ended up having a great time. She was a good teacher. They exchanged partners while the songs changed, and he learned new moves from each of them.
The night ended with a slow jazz song, and they swayed silently together—her hand on his chest, her head resting against his cheek with their bodies so close that a sheet of paper couldn’t pass through.
On the drive back to his apartment, he stopped at a light. He glanced at her. Savannah was gazing outside, lost in thought. He wanted to know what she was thinking about. Was it him? Was it the dancing? Was it the children? Was it her ex? A burning sensation took over his stomach, thinking about the fact that she might have been thinking about Emma’s father.
After arriving at his apartment, they entered, and she removed her shoes. She folded his blazer, which he had draped over her shoulders before leaving the club, and placed it on the dining table chair. She went over to the gramophone in the living room and played the disc that was sitting inside.
Elvis Presley’s voice came alive with the song, Can’t help falling in love.
Cole watched her sway. The lights were dim in the room, and he walked towards her. His heart pounded, and a sudden flush of warmth spread through his whole body when they twirled together in sync around his living room. As the song came to an end, she looked at him. She fluttered her eyelashes slowly. Without thinking any further, with their bodies still pressed together, he bent down and kissed her.
A soft moan escaped from her lips. Soon, their tongues swirled around. The heat between them increased, and her arms went around his neck. His breathing grew faster and matched hers. She anchored her hand on his belt and slipped a finger beneath the waistline fabric. His hands caressed her body. His fingers stroked each curve. He picked her up and took her into his bedroom.
Both of them pulled at restrictive clothing, loosening it before finally slipping out and throwing it on the floor. Trembling with urgency, his hands ached to touch and explore her. His body flooded with tingling and pleasure. He had known he wanted her. He recognized how critical his need was for her. For a long time, he’d known how important she was in his life. She was only the second woman who had made him feel the way he felt now. He wanted a second chance at happiness. At love. At being someone’s partner. He wanted it with her.
The scent of her shampoo drifted into his nostrils. Jasmine. Sweet and floral. Peppering kisses on her neck, he trailed down her arms and hands. He could smell the soft notes of her perfume on her smooth skin. Seconds later, their bodies entwined with their rhythm picking up speed and syncing. He lacked nothing in the moments as their bodies collided, with his world contracting into hers.
After they’d made love, she fell asleep beside him. He held her and watched her. She was perfect to him. She looked serene and peaceful, exactly what he had been looking for. He reached for his camera, which was resting on his night table, and clicked a picture of her. He wanted to remember this moment forever. He wanted her in his arms forever. He couldn’t wait for the morning. He wanted to feel what it was like to wake up next to her—to look into her eyes and make love again. He longed to talk to her, to know how she felt about him, about them starting a romantic relationship. He wanted answers to so many questions. He had seen the scar on her chest. He had noticed the spot on her left shoulder that looked like a bullet wound, but he wasn’t sure. More than that, he was sure he wanted her. His mind emptied itself of all concerns and worries. His senses stimulated. A pleasant sensation of dizziness came over him.
Minutes later, he drifted off into a peaceful sleep, smiling.
CHAPTER 29
The electric clock on the bedside table flashed 3:30 a.m. Moonlight shone through the thin white curtains, illuminating Cole’s face.
What the hell did I do? Savannah saw his toned body with the bed sheet covering his lower half. She slipped out of bed, tiptoed around him, gathered her clothes, put them on and left his apartment. Her brain couldn’t stop thinking. How could she do something so reckless and careless like this? He was her friend. She was in business with him through the money he lent her for the cafés. Her head hurt, and she felt guilty.
Driving back to her house in the early hours of dawn, she entered her home while everyone was still sleeping. After a quick shower, her brain continued to think of the consequences of her actions. She felt guilty. Days before, she had seen Caleb and her emotions were all over the place. She felt like she had just cheated on him with Cole. Should she even feel guilty? He had moved on with his life. Why shouldn’t she? Thoughts swirled around in her head. What would Cole think of her? What would he say? Would he be as embarrassed as her? What would become of their friendship?
Sunlight shone through the windows as she sipped her tea. She heard the pitter-patter of little feet coming down the stairs.
“Mama, you’re back!” Lucas said, hugging her. “We missed you last night. Did you have a good time with Cole?”
Swallowing hard, she tried to smile. “Yes, I did.” Her stomach churned.
After giving both children tight squeezes, she made breakfast for all of them, diverting attention away from her quivering insides.
After breakfast, Savannah took a nap. Suddenly she felt hands trying to wake her up.
Geeta stood over her and said, “Didi, the children are getting late.” Rubbing her eyes, Savannah tried to focus on what she was saying. “You were supposed to take them to the kid’s club at the park today, remember?”
“Oh my gosh! I slept past the alarm,” Savannah said, sitting up quickly and throwing the duvet aside.
“I’ll take them. Don’t worry,” Geeta said. “You sleep for a bit.”
“Are you sure?” Savannah asked.
Geeta nodded.
“Thanks. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry, Didi! You came home late.” She put the duvet back on her and tucked her in. “We’ll be back soon. Sleep well.”
After two more hours of sleep, Savannah woke up feeling a bit refreshed. Brewing a fresh pot of tea, she took out some cookies to munch on. She heard the front door open and close. “I didn’t think you guys would be home so early, Geeta,” she said, removing the kettle from the stove. Turning around, she stood completely still.
It was Cole.
Her mouth went dry. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry or thirsty anymore. Her heart palpitated.
“Hi!” he said, moving towards her.
“Um… hi,” she said, drawing back. Her pulse quickened, and she felt cold. She was not ready for this. She knew she would have to talk to him but now was not the time. It had to be on her terms, at her time. His sudden appearance at her house made her cross her arms.
“Why did you leave?” he asked. “Is everything okay?”
She nodded. “Cole, I...”
He stood in front of her.
“I’m sorry,” she fumbled. “Would… would you… um like some breakfast or some tea or—”
He came closer, towering over her, and she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t look at him. She looked at the tiles in the kitchen, but she couldn’t look at him.
“I had a great time last night,” he said. “I wanted to tell you before—”
“Look, Cole, before you say anything else, I’m sorry about last night.” She looked up at him. “That shouldn’t have happened.”
“What? You’re saying that it was a mistake?”
His pained look made her gulp. “I’m not saying it was a mistake.” She looked down.
“What the hell are you trying to say, then?” he asked in a raised voice.
The collar of her blouse suddenly felt a bit too tight. “I’m just saying it shouldn’t have happened.”
“Are you telling me you didn’t feel anything at all last night? That it meant nothing to you?”
“Cole, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. I don’t think you and I are a good idea,” she said, looking directly into his eyes. “We are better off being friends than anything else.” She saw his shoulders droop. “I have way too much baggage for you to deal with, and you need a fresh, clean start to move on with your life—”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of what I need in my life?” he said with a hurt look in his eyes.
“Well, what you do want?”
“You!” he said in a loud tone.
“You don’t know anything about me, Cole.”
“Well, whose fault is that? I don’t know anything about you. I only know things from the time you moved to the village. I haven’t been pushy, and I have asked you several times, but you never seem to answer, or you always brush it away.”
Flashbacks of her fight with Caleb came back to her. History was being repeated in the same manner but with a different man. She started to feel sick.
“Your guard is always up. I feel like I know nothing about you while you know everything about me.” He stared at her with his hands on his hips.
Silence.
“Look, Cole—”
“Savannah, do you feel anything at all? Anything for me?”
She couldn’t look at him anymore. Did she feel anything? What did she think of Cole? They were such good friends. They’d had intimate and weird moments that were never addressed or talked about. Was that her fault? Was it his? Was that enough to start a relationship with him? She promised herself that she wouldn’t get into another relationship, but these feelings for him had been in the background for a while. She tried to rationalize.
Did she want to jeopardize their friendship? What if they didn’t work out? Lucas finally had a stable male figure in his life. Did she want to take that away from him… again? Cole had been in her life the longest, longer than Harper and Caleb. Why was it that she couldn’t seem to think that it was okay if she felt something for him too? She continued to stand there without answering him, analyzing her feelings.
“I guess I got my answer,” Cole said and walked away from her, out of her house, leaving her staring behind him.
