A kingdom of exiles, p.45
A Kingdom of Exiles, page 45
part #1 of The Outcast Series
“But your scents are too entangled for it to be anything else.”
“We’re kin,” I blurted out.
His gaze slipped from mine with a stunted chuckle. “That’s not possible.”
I remained quiet, not moving, not backing down.
I waited … He turned to me again, scanning up and down, searching for signs of a lie. A growing unease clouded his face.
I almost denied it then. Laughed it off.
Then, his expression flipped; eyes gone wild, he rambled, “How? Are you … You look alike … are you siblings? Is Frazer a demi-fae?”
Before he could keep on losing his shit, I corrected him. “You’ve got the wrong idea. We weren’t born kin.”
That only made things worse; his face drained to a grisly white. “Then … No, please, please, by the all the fucking gods, you didn’t. Tell me that you didn’t make that bond with him!”
I shifted ever so slightly to the back of my chair. “We did, but—”
“Are you insane?” he hissed, his face crumpling in incredulity—in rage. “D’you have any idea what you’ve done? Who suggested it?” he demanded. He didn’t wait for an answer before spitting out, “It was him, wasn’t it? I’ll rip his heart out!”
My blood roared. I reared up in an instant. “You won’t touch him.”
Seeing me glowering seemed to temper something in him. The lines of anger vanished from his face, and his mouth jerked upward in an involuntary spasm. His arm looked like it was reaching for me, but at the last second, he swept it upward and clenched the back of his neck. He looked so lost, the murderous rage drained away. That didn’t stop me from saying, “Don’t threaten my brother again.”
And just like that Wilder slipped back into smooth, neutral tones. “He’s put you in danger.”
Yet despite my words to Liora, I didn’t regret it. “I know other fae might not like it, but it’s done now. Let the world think we’re just lovers. That’s not forbidden,” I said, sourness coloring my voice.
Wilder didn’t seem to notice. He collapsed back into the armchair. His elbows bracing against his knees, he began rubbing his forehead.
An awkward silence stretched. I sat back down again and scanned the room. Anything to stop myself watching him. It was then my attention snagged on something. Of the many books scattered around the divan and chairs, there was one in particular that pulled my focus. It was small, with a black leather cover and a gold-embossed title: The Darkest Song.
I tilted slightly toward it, unthinking; on pure instinct.
“I don’t think you understand,” Wilder said suddenly, lifting his gaze to mine.
I jerked back up.
Wilder went on in a raw, scratchy voice. “You are right, of course. Fae take human lovers. But your scents will stay merged for the rest of your lives. No matter the distance or time apart. So what happens when you become soldiers? What if you’re in different encampments, sleeping in shared barracks? Other fae may wonder why a strange male’s scent never fades from your body, even though you’re never in the company of said fae?” He didn’t wait for my response before continuing. “It’s just a matter of time before someone asks questions you can’t answer. Then there’s Morgan … Gods, Serena—if word ever reached her that a fae had made that vow to a human, she’d drag you both to the Solar capital—Alexandrina—and interrogate you. And trust me, it won’t be with words and bribes. It’ll be with people and things that can snap bones, pluck out eyes, and much, much worse. She’d likely kill one of you just to break the bond.”
I felt weak. Almost fever-like. I scrambled for something—anything—to make me feel less shit-scared. “But we’re in the Riverlands …”
Wilder’s brows nudged together. Pity and contempt marked his face. “You think that makes you safe? Don’t be deceived into thinking that the Riverlands is some kind of haven from Morgan’s rule. Diana’s spine bends every time that—” He clamped his lips together. Obviously biting back a curse. Finally, he spat out, “My point is, I can count on one hand the number of times she’s openly gone against Morgan. And for those rare moments, the witch has spies and agents in every gods-damned corner of this court to push her agenda.”
“You mean like Dimitri?” I shot at him.
Wilder choked out a dark laugh. “Guessed, did you?”
That pissed me off. “Adrianna told me about him … and about who she is.”
He huffed derisively. “Yet, you still made an unbreakable vow to a fae. Gods, Serena, I stayed away from you to prevent something like this from happening.” He gestured between us. “So that dangerous fae, like the ones surrounding us at this very minute, don’t take an interest in you.”
My fists curled into balls. “Or maybe it’s just because you’re a legendary Sabu Warrior. Whereas I’m …”
I tripped over the word “human” because that wasn’t entirely true. Not anymore. Wilder just looked confused. “Anyway, there’s nothing that can be done now. Frazer’s scent is in your blood and vice versa, and the fae have long memories.” He passed a hand over his eyes. As if to block out the sight of me as he spoke. “After you complete the trials, you should leave together. I’ll cover your backs for as long as I can.”
I looked away. Wilder misinterpreted my silence and snapped, “Serena, you can’t become a soldier now, do you understand? Take your brother and leave. They’ll hunt you when you don’t show up for your posting, but you should have enough time to disappear. Run, hide—don’t come back.”
His tormented expression made me ask, “How d’you know so much about what she’d do to me and Frazer?”
Wilder threw me a look. I couldn’t read it. “Because I used to serve her.”
My eyes flickered to the door. Was I fast enough?
“I said used to,” he emphasized.
I could still run. My traitorous body refused. Or maybe it was my morbid curiosity, because I gazed back into his bleak eyes and asked him, “What changed?”
A heavy brow and sad eyes met those words. “You know that I used to be a Sabu, but not that I served in Sefra’s armies for over two centuries.”
That had my chest tightening. My sister … two centuries? Holy fire.
His throat bobbed before he continued. “And when Morgan came, she gave me a choice: kneel or die. Obviously, I chose the former. I’d like to tell you that it was because she threatened to kill the males and females in my charge—”
I couldn’t keep the sharpness from my voice as I cut him short. “It wasn’t?”
If he noticed my mood, he didn’t react. “Yes and no. The ‘no’ part being that I didn’t want to die. Not because I was afraid, exactly. I was still young, at least by Sabu standards, and I wanted more.” He grimaced and sucked in a shaky inhale. “And after Morgan came to power, my company and I did … terrible things—unforgivable things. I thought about running, but her retribution for such acts were monstrous.”
My breathing snagged. “So, how did you get away?”
He chuckled, the sound cold and laced with self-disgust. “I didn’t. She let me go.”
I blinked. Stars …
Wilder stood abruptly, making me nervous. He grabbed the glass from the mantelpiece, and a decanter from a hidden spot by his chair. He stayed standing and poured himself another drink. “I began to lose battles—to disgrace myself on purpose. I fell into whoring, gambling, and drinking.” He raised his glass as if to emphasize, and sloshed the liquid around, peering inside ruefully. “She beat me, and when that didn’t work, she set in on my fellow Warriors. I thought about giving in every damned day.” He inhaled his drink, draining the glass dry in seconds. “But I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t look into the eyes of another innocent and end their life. All in the name of that power-hungry demon. So, I did what I could to take my Warriors’ pain away. When I didn’t stop, she threatened to force a blood oath on me—”
I couldn’t stop myself. “Blood oath? As in a bond?”
His gaze shifted to mine; his eyes hollowed out as he clarified. “We only call them bonds when they’re consensual. A blood oath to Morgan would’ve been a twisted play on the guardian bond. It most often takes place between a ruler and their subjects. But to swear it to Morgan would’ve meant eternal damnation. There would’ve been no honor in serving her. So I promised to kill myself if she tried. For a Sabu, there’s no greater dishonor. Morgan was so disgusted, she exiled me from her court and sent me here. Told me to have as many females or males as I liked—to get it out of my system. It shows what she really thinks of these camps; of Diana’s armies.”
I winced. “How long have you been here?”
“Years,” he replied curtly.
“And she could call you back at any moment?”
Wilder hesitated, his eyes growing stormy. “I’d risk crossing the sea and joining up with our eastern brethren before going back to her.”
Gods, I wanted to believe that. But he’d served the very fae that had ripped apart my family, murdering my father, and forcing my sister and mother into exile.
He must have read something in my expression because he said with some force, “I’m still the same male, Serena.”
Ah. That got me.
My arms crossed over my body. My shield. “I don’t know if I ever knew that male in the first place.”
Wilder kept quiet, kept staring. “It’s true, we haven’t known each other very long. Two months is a blink in the lifespan of a fae. Yet here I am, finding myself fucking terrified about what happens to you when they discover you’re kin with a fae.”
Those words seemed to build in my chest and stomach, a great, golden sun expanding, touching my skin, radiating outward. They compelled me to say, “We’ll leave—me and Frazer. As soon as we’ve finished the trials.”
“Something tells me you’ve already discussed this.” He looked as if he didn’t expect a real answer.
I stayed silent. I’d made a big enough mistake admitting to the kin bond. However, Lake Ewa, Maggie OneEye; all the secrets Hazel had revealed should remain with me.
“Fine,” he said shortly. “Then, there’s nothing more to say.”
He set his glass aside and bent down to grab one of the books piled high on the floor. Wilder chucked it to me. I caught it and stared back, confused.
He gave me a shallow smile in return. “I saw you earlier. You were reaching for it. I don’t know why, but you’re welcome to take it.”
My fingers traced the title, The Darkest Song. “You won’t miss it?”
“Does it look like I’d miss it?” he asked, gesturing to the stacks of books surrounding us.
“I suppose not.” I stood to tuck the book under my arm and added lightly, “What if Dimitri finds out you’ve been giving me books?”
The fire in Wilder’s eyes died, and he turned to the flames burning bright in the fireplace, showing me his back. “We can only hope now that Frazer’s scent is mixed up with your own, he’ll stop believing we’re in a physical relationship. Fae avoid having multiple partners for that very reason. Scenting other fae has a way of spoiling the romance.”
I gulped, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat.
“You should go.”
Before cracking and spilling everything pounding away inside my traitorous heart, I left. Quickly.
Chapter 24
Begin!
Four days. Four long days, our pack trained constantly, and every movement caused some odd ache or pain. Still, progress felt slow. At least for Liora and I, who had yet to win a bout with Cai. Let alone Adrianna or Frazer. So being matched in a fight against a fae like Cole or Tysion—who to my dismay passed the third trial—was the very thought that caused fear to hound me day and night, chasing me from nightmares only to wake to the pain of a battered body. The only bright spot in the grayness was handing over the linen pocket square to Bert, who’d accepted the item gladly.
On the dawn of the fifth trial our pack sheltered in the food hall, where the windows had misted over from the buttery baking scents and the delicious heat from the fire.
“Go on, have a little toast? A bit of sausage?”
Cai sat opposite me, floating his breakfast plate under my nose. I gave him my best scowl, to which he sighed heavily and dropped his plate. “Thanks, but I feel sick just looking at food right now,” I added to be polite.
Frazer fidgeted. “You should eat.”
Somehow, he made his suggestion sound like a demand. I bottled up the exasperated noise fighting to get out. In the end, it was Adrianna who said, “Frazer, you keep looking at Serena like you’re about to fall on your sword for her.”
Frazer replied with nothing but a glare cut in her direction.
I almost groaned aloud. There’d been a fragile peace between them in the wake of their fight. Today, just hours before the trial, the conflict looked ready to spark anew.
Of rutting course.
Adrianna shifted forward and kept on. “You can’t afford to let your protective instincts take over. Not with witnesses around.”
I interceded. “Adi, we know. He knows.”
Frazer drank deeply from his glass and upon coming up for air, said, “You’re not my princess, so stop bullying me.”
A faint blush colored Adrianna’s cheeks. I could almost see the struggle for self-control behind her eyes. Then, she leaned back, her spine stiffened and a preternatural stillness, a black frost, gripped her. “I just don’t want to see either of you dragged before Morgan because of your recklessness.”
Frazer’s glass broke in his hands. No one heard the sound, thanks to Cai, but the noise barrier couldn’t hide the juice spreading and dripping down the side of the oak table.
Speech abandoned me.
“All right, enough!” Cai slammed a palm down flat.
No one spoke as Liora mopped up the sticky liquid.
“Adrianna.” Cai swiveled to his right to face her. “We know you’re worried, but what’s done is done.”
She scowled but stayed silent.
Cai’s wrath turned on Frazer who was placing shards of glass onto his plate. “And if you can’t control your temper, you’ll start drawing attention to us. A bit like you’re doing right now.”
He wasn’t wrong.
Individuals among the other packs were shooting curious glances our way. The only group to ignore us was Tysion’s, which seemed more suspicious somehow. Their whispered conversations had become a regular occurrence that set my teeth on edge. Although I couldn’t explain exactly why. In my scrutiny, I missed Goldwyn striding over to us.
I felt the release of the sound barrier, and then, “Oh dear.”
I swiveled around to see her halt, flank me, and stare down at the broken glass. “An accident? Or a bout of nerves?”
“Both,” Frazer grumbled.
“Not surprising. Now, if you could all follow me outside?”
Goldwyn whirled and strode out. A mighty brisk attitude.
We all scrambled along behind, but she didn’t slow once we’d left the hall; she sped up. My knees went weak upon realizing we were headed for the arena.
I matched her stride, saying, “I thought the trial didn’t start until 9.”
The hint of panic was all too clear in my voice. Damn.
“Correct. But I want you to have the time to get familiar with the space.”
Her words were edged; not as sunny and carefree as usual. I shared a surprised look with Liora.
Goldwyn had always been by far the most relaxed instructor. The idea that she might be competitive, or a strategic thinker hadn’t really occurred to me. My mistake.
The towering, roofless construct of limestone and sand loomed large, etched against a perfectly clear, blue sky. It was glorious and terrifying.
I’d been inside once before to watch the match between Wilder’s and Dimitri’s packs. Now it was my turn. I’d done everything to prepare for this, but it still didn’t feel like enough. It would never be enough.
I wiped sweaty palms down my jacket and looked around. My pack was quiet. Everyone seemed trapped in their own little pockets of fear. We couldn’t help one another this time. On this day, we stood alone.
Goldwyn veered right. I’d expected to enter via the main gate, but instead she led us toward a heavy wooden door. Goldwyn used a hidden key from around her neck to click the lock open. She ushered us through the low archway, into a long, narrow tunnel with burning torches set into brackets on the wall. Goldwyn grabbed one and held it out in front, illuminating the cold stone passage. I fell into line behind the others, walking along the sloping corridor, listening to the eerie echoes of our boots hitting the flagstones. Clack-tap. Clack-tap. Clack-tap.
At the end was a square room with benches set against the walls. Opposite was an annex with mounted weaponry. To the left, a ramp led to the ring. This must be the fighter’s entrance.
Goldwyn slipped the torch back into an empty bracket and beckoned us out onto the sands. A huge circular ring awaited us. Tiered benches ran all around the outside. Thousands of seats rose to the open sky. I spun in a circle, taking it all in, anxiety burning a hole in my gut.
“Can tell us who we’re fighting?” I asked, attempting to sound innocent.
A knowing smile touched Goldwyn’s face. “Sorry. The instructors don’t choose your opponents.”
“Then, who does?” Adrianna said sharply.
“Hilda,” Goldwyn answered.
“She’s going to be here?” Adrianna asked, intrigued.
I let their voices fade away and concentrated on taking everything in. From how well my boots gripped the sand, to the position of the sun. Frazer stuck close but didn’t seem interested in surveying his surroundings. Maybe he’d done it the instant we’d walked through the gate.
Sight of Goldwyn’s wings spreading punched through my haze of thought, and I turned to her again. Listening.
“I’ll be back later. And if you have the first pick of weapons and armor, then so be it.” She winked. As if we needed the hint.
“Are you allowed to leave us here?” Adrianna asked.
