The nephilem, p.16
The Nephilem, page 16
Hyienna drained his sangria and picked up the beer, raising it in a silent toast to the girl who’d smiled into and out of his life just like that. Although they didn’t look much like each other, she kind of reminded him of the pretty hippy chick who’d sold him his brown agate anchor back on Ibiza. He patted his pocket, content to know that his little slice of solidity was in its proper place, although he felt no need for an enhanced connection with the “real” world...whatever that actually meant. He took another sip of beer and yawned, leaning further back in his chair and stretching his legs out, letting his senses become entangled with the twisting threads of incense and cooking smoke drifting across the exquisitely neglected farmyard. Just like Nathaniel’s pizza, the whole place was a little slice of heaven and right then and there it was all he needed in the whole wide world.
SLOWLY HYIENNA REGAINED his sense of his own being as the distant hum and chatter of the party pierced his consciousness, while a sudden brightness turned the dark and distant world unexpectedly red. For a moment his befuddled mind was trapped between waking from surprisingly deep sleep and not being quite sure of where he was.
He swallowed hard and sat up, blinking against the bright LED headlights rudely swooping across the dancefloor, turning revellers into moon dials as their shadows swooped and twisted across the uneven stone of the crumbling courtyard. Hyienna glanced at his watch and was surprised to find he’d only been asleep for a few minutes, even though it had felt like much longer. He’d even dreamt about something or someone, and some water.
He shaded his eyes as the headlights came to rest on the driveway beyond the house. They were quite high in the air, so he knew exactly who’d just arrived, especially when the lights stayed on for an unnecessarily long time.
At last, the lights blinked off and Hyienna closed his eyes again, luxuriating in his dark anonymity for just a little longer. He knew he only had a few minutes left before the new guests found him, and anything could happen after that.
Sure enough, it wasn’t long before Solomon’s deep voice interrupted the music. “Hey there; we stopped by the Lizard, but you were already gone. Getting a head start on us, huh?”
Hyienna yawned and stirred from his peaceful half-slumber, a little resentful but knowing this was a conversation that couldn’t be postponed any longer. He smiled and raised the beer that Solomon had placed in front of him. “Thanks. So where are the ladies?”
Solomon flopped into the chair opposite and jerked his head back towards Nathaniel’s magic outdoor oven. “Hobnobbing with the great man himself.”
Hyienna sensed an invitation to talk. “But not you?”
Solomon took a swig of beer. “Hey, I don’t want to say anything amiss, but...”
Hyienna completed Solomon’s sentence. “But you’re going to anyway.”
There was a pause as Solomon took another gulp of beer, seemingly weighing up what he should say next. “The guy always looks like he’s thinking one thing and saying another. His expressions don’t match his words and I don’t like guys with agendas.”
Hyienna just shrugged. “He’s a writer, which means he’s only half with us most of the time. Besides, everybody has an agenda, benign or otherwise.”
“Hey, no offence. I mean, I know he’s your buddy and all, but just bear in mind you don’t know him that well.”
“And you do?” Hyienna raised his eyebrows.
“Not really. We don’t tend to move in the same circles, but you know how the girls are with these creative types.”
Hyienna made a conscious effort not to narrow his eyes. Did Solomon know something, suspect something, or was that just a chance remark? He decided to play it safe, although he was secretly dreading the possibility that Solomon might ask him a direct question. It was hard to know whether the truth or a lie would be worse in that situation. “Well, the man makes a mean pizza, so no wonder everyone wants to be here.”
“You telling me you’re here for the food? Is that why you’ve been hanging around with Nathaniel so much?”
Hyienna seized his chance for misdirection and camped it up as much as he could. “Why Solomon, you never struck me as the jealous type. How long have you been hiding these feelings?”
At last one side of Solomon’s mouth rose in a slight smile. “Very funny, wise guy. And here I was thinking that personal success and a good fitness regime were important to the ladies; but maybe it’s all just pizza in the end.” He nodded to someone on the dancefloor who’d recognised him.
Now it was Hyienna’s turn to smile. “I guess chefs are never lonely. Everyone loves good food.”
Solomon rose and turned towards the dancefloor, winking as he did so. “Say hi to Sarah, when she can tear herself away from Mr cheesy slice over there.”
Hyienna raised his beer to Solomon’s back as the big man quickly vanished into a fog of incense, wood smoke and ganja. Only when he was sure that Solomon was otherwise engaged did he dare look across to Nathaniel’s cooking station. Sure enough, there he was, talking to Sarah as if they were just old friends. Well, he guessed they were, but they were so much more as well.
As though sensing Hyienna’s scrutiny, Sarah turned, blew him a kiss and mouthed something that looked like thank you, but he couldn’t be sure. He knew she was thanking him because she thought he was covering for her, which he supposed he was. Still, the question of what he might do if Solomon asked him a direct question nagged at his mind and dampened his mood.
Suddenly Hyienna’s world went black as a pair of hands were placed over his eyes, although Kate’s spicy perfume and the soft weight of her bosom against the back of his head somewhat gave the game away. The hands were quickly removed, and Kate’s immaculately manicured hand placed yet another bottle of beer on the table beside him. He watched her sashay around the table and take up the seat previously occupied by Solomon. “I could get used to this; everyone’s bringing me beer today.”
Kate toyed with her trademark martini glass. “You look like you could do with a drink, honey. I thought you were about to crack under questioning.” She inclined her head slightly behind her, indicating that she was talking about the recently departed Solomon.
Hyienna drained his rapidly warming beer and picked up the cold one Kate had just brought him. “I’m just starting to wonder if I’ve made a big mistake.”
Kate shook her head. “You didn’t make anyone do anything, so what do you care?”
“I don’t like lying to people, even if I haven’t done that yet.”
Kate broke into a warm, almost maternal smile. “We’re all liars, every last one of us, so there’s no need for false piety. Solomon’s a stranger to you and you’re just protecting your cousin. Nathaniel and Sarah were going to do what they were going to do anyway, regardless of whether you were around. All we did was oil the wheels because, to put it bluntly, my friend had become a real pain in the ass with all her lovesick moping about. Look at her now; doesn’t she look so much happier?”
Hyienna glanced across to Nathaniel’s cooking station, noting that both he and Sarah were conspicuously absent.
Kate placed a hand on his arm. “Don’t you go fretting about things that aren’t your concern. Sarah’s happy and Solomon’s too busy impressing women he barely knows; so why sweat any of it?”
Hyienna couldn’t help smiling as Kate winked that knowing, naughty wink of hers. Once again she’d managed to make him feel both completely helpless and yet wonderfully free from responsibility all at the same time. “So I should just do nothing?”
Kate stood up, smoothed down her dress and held out her hand. “No, my cute boy, you can dance with me.”
FRAGRANT BLUE CIGAR smoke twisted into the night sky, a dark shadow briefly flickering across the face of a bright, nearly full moon. Hyienna leaned back against the tumbledown compound wall and nodded appreciatively at the stogie lodged between his fingers. It had been a long time since he’d smoked anything, but it just seemed as though kicking back and enjoying one of life’s simple vices was de rigueur at Nathaniel’s place. Besides, it would have been rude to refuse the cute girl with the crazy hair. He made a mental note to ask Nathaniel about her habit of wandering around and just handing stuff out to people. It was a nice idea, but he hoped she could afford it.
He took another drag on his cigar and looked out across the darkening scrubland, the lights from the house behind him lengthening shadows and enhancing contrast to imbue the scene with almost supernatural hue. Whilst it made the sandy scrub close by that much brighter, it was offset by the deeper shadows further away. That dense darkness immediately drew his mind back to the nothingness waiting for him in that cheap, nondescript bag. He quickly reached into his pocket for his little agate anchor, not trusting himself stay put rather than floating away on a cloud of introspection fuelled by alcohol, tobacco and second-hand ganja smoke.
Glancing at his watch, he stretched, yawned and began to think about making his way home. It was a little after three in the morning and the party was winding down. Sure, the music was still playing and there were plenty of folk about, but most of the dancing was done and little knots had formed around different tables as old friends and new acquaintances chatted and drank through the small hours. He didn’t really know anyone that well, especially as Solomon had taken Sarah and Kate home about an hour ago. Solomon seemed to be in good spirits, but still Hyienna couldn’t shake the idea that Sarah’s fiancé was feeling him out, trying to see if his suspicions about her were well founded. Sure, he’d gotten away with it for one night, but Hyienna knew full well that the situation would come to a head, and probably sooner rather than later.
He jumped as he heard a footstep close behind him.
“Hey relax, don’t die of a heart attack on my property.” Nathaniel grinned, with his own cigar clamped between his teeth. “Puts the idea of cigarette girls in a whole new light, don’t you think?”
Hyienna breathed out heavily. “I guess, kind of a nice touch really. She a friend of yours?”
“Yeah, she’s a good kid. She just wants to make everyone happy and she’s way too pretty for her own good. I try to keep her out of trouble.”
“Maybe it’s yourself you want to be keeping out of trouble.”
Nathaniel stepped over a low point in the wall and raised his eyebrows. “Am I in some kind of trouble?”
“Don’t get cute. You know what Solomon will do when he finds out about you and his fiancé.”
Nathaniel’s stare hardened. “There’s no reason for him to find anything out.”
Hyienna was surprised to feel his patience slipping. “You know, you’re either incredibly arrogant or unbelievably stupid. Now Solomon might be arrogant too but he’s not your average fool. He won’t need me to tell him what’s blatantly bloody obvious to everyone.”
Nathaniel’s expression softened again. “Yeah, you’re probably right, but there’s no need to worry. It’s not your problem.”
“You know you’re the second person to say that to me this evening.”
The host grinned. “Then I guess I’m not the only smart boy in the neighbourhood.”
“Who said it was a boy?”
Nathaniel was silent for a moment as he looked up at the moon. “Fair point, and you’re probably right about Solomon. Someone once said in a movie that some things have to end badly or they wouldn’t end at all.”
Hyienna also looked up at the night sky, thinking how peaceful, serene and remote it seemed in comparison to the undignified scramble of the countless daily lives playing out below them. “Listen, I’m not much for telling people what to do, but if I’ve learned just one thing in this world it’s that you can’t just keep repeating the past. It never ends well.”
Nathaniel gestured towards the stars. “Those patterns have been repeating for billions of years, and none of us would be here if they hadn’t been. Repetition is a necessary condition for anything...everything to exist in the first place.”
Hyienna blew out another plume of cigar smoke. “That might be a fine outlook for some distant galaxy, but it’s not much of a philosophy for people. You can’t move forward if you’re always looking behind you; you’re bound to come to grief sooner or later.”
Nathaniel was silent for a few seconds. “Well, my cigar smoking philosopher, we can speculate all night about what has been and what might be, but I can tell you something that’s certain in the here and now.”
Curious, Hyienna turned to face him. “Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“Sarah was smiling all evening. Now that’s the truth.” Nathaniel clapped him on the shoulder and wandered back to the party.
Hyienna took another long drag on his cigar as he thought about what Nathaniel had said Hyienna took another long drag on his cigar as he thought about what Nathaniel had said. Suddenly he found himself squinting into the darkness once more. Was someone out there?
CHAPTER 11
Psalm of Lament: Yasmina
The orange glow of a bright new day painted the world in black and watery grey as Yasmina placed her wicker basket on the ground. Reaching out for her coffee which waited on an old stump of wood, she took a sip and closed her eyes, drinking in the cool quiet of the summer morning. It was always a struggle getting out of bed so early, especially as she seldom slept well. All the same, she was glad that she’d made the effort on a beautiful day like this.
The dawn belonged to Yasmina; a time when she had the whole world to herself and that world shrank to contain only her, the thoughts in her head and the Green Lizard’s famously clean and crisp white sheets.
Hyienna had gotten back very late, not that she minded especially. He could keep the night and she would have the morning. It seemed like a fair trade.
She watched a tiny bird swoop low through the dry and dusty undergrowth, twittering the first tentative chords of a new dawn. She often wondered what it must be like to be a little bird, flying here and there, able to flee from all danger and free of regret. Sometimes Yaz felt as though she knew nothing but regrets, the weight of them pressing down on her soul to leave it permanently crushed, scarred and misshapen.
The knowledge that many people would kill to start their days in such a manner couldn’t completely chase away the shadows that waited in the wings, ready to swoop in and turn even the brightest summer morning to a darker shade of melancholy. If only things could be different. If only she’d told him...if only.
She sighed heavily and picked up a freshly laundered sheet from the basket by her feet. Her laundry routine had become something of a ritual, and she missed the wet days when she couldn’t hang sheets out before six in the morning. In truth it was better to be doing something useful rather than just lying in bed, kicking over the same old regrets, the same old emptiness born of the past as well as the same old uncertain future.
Maybe one day she would do something different. Maybe one day she’d wake up and make the call, just like that. Maybe she’d drink too much and blurt it out one evening, telling Solomon everything. Maybe.
Why was happiness always ethereal while anguish was an all too real and constant companion? Why did it have to be that way? Why did she hide the truth, even from her own sister?
She quickly grabbed another sheet to distract herself from the bitter yet directionless anger she so often felt welling up inside. Why did she have to be the other woman? Why should Sarah be living the high life at Casa Hermoso while she rose with the sun to hang her sheets? Why?
She let the second sheet drop back into the basket as she felt a hot tear well up in her eye. Why should she hide? Surely Sarah must suspect something, so why didn’t she say anything? If it was her man carrying on behind her back, she’d be setting things straight right away. Nobody would be taking Solomon away from her, so why did she let herself play second fiddle, happily waiting for whatever scraps of affection he could spare, either in or out of the bedroom?
If only he knew; if only she could find the courage to tell him.
She gazed out across the tranquil glittering ocean as she tried for the hundredth, no, the thousandth time to summon the courage to just tell the truth. Perhaps one day she might find some untapped reserve of strength hiding somewhere in the corner of her aching soul; some new way to square the circle of love, fear and regret...perhaps one day.
Once more Yasmina felt her eyes drawn to the surface of the glittering ocean, her mind drifting away on a gentle current of daydreams, suppositions, and heart-warming speculation. She wondered where Samuel might be today, what he might look like or even what his name might be. Would he remember her, and would she even know him if they met face-to-face on some far-flung day? Who might he be? What might he be?
Yaz felt her heart begin to sink as her mind refused to let her idle daydreams wander unchecked. Even if he was out there somewhere, she would never find him now and there was a more than even chance he wouldn’t even remember that little apartment in Barcelona. So long ago now. Maybe it was better just to let that part of her past, that part of herself, drift out of focus and into the shadows of history, just another story of a bereft mother and a missing child. Supposing she did find Samuel someday; what then? What right did she have to go barging into some stranger’s life as though she was entitled to something in which she’d played almost no part?
She finally looked away from the sparkling sea and up towards the faded green shutters of the Lizard’s sun-bleached exterior. Try as she might, she couldn’t imagine Solomon moving into such a humble if charming abode, while the idea of her becoming the first lady of Casa Hermoso seemed equally far-fetched. Maybe this was as good as it got, and she would have to be content with a part-time lover rather than a full-time companion. Deep down she knew that a mistress was not a natural role for most women, but still she found it impossible to make the break. Without Solomon she would have nothing left of Samuel, save for some fading memories and a crumpled Polaroid photo.
