The devil you know, p.21
The Devil You Know, page 21
He rooted through the papers until he found DI Sharon McGarry’s background check and opened it to the first page. It was only as he was reading the opening sentence for the third time that he realized he was thinking about Jasper’s text.
He glanced up. Dom’s eyes were closed, his large chest rising and falling steadily. Hilary took up his phone and read Jazz’s message again with the chill of shame crawling over his skin. His thumb hovered over the keyboard as he tried to think of a reply. Nothing came. He made a frustrated noise and opened Instagram to search Jasper’s feed. Maybe if he saw his face, he’d know what to say…how to feel.
There were dozens of pictures. Dozens. He’d been gone two days. The most recent one was of him and his family, all kitted out in snow gear, grinning for the camera in front of a handsome log cabin with the caption Wholesome times with the fam. @quinnlyalpineresort is the absolute best. Highly recommend. #goodtimes
He scrolled on…and froze. His fiancé sat in a hot tub, one hand in his hair, the other on his sculpted abdomen. The drops of water on his skin glowed with whatever filter he’d used. He looked up through his eyelashes, his eyes the hot blue of a summer sky. Hilary recognized the look, one that usually made his pulse quicken, but seeing it like that, directed at the entire world, made him feel like the floor was rocking under him.
Hilary’s throat ached as he swiped. There were more pictures—Jasper in the tub, perched on the side, laughing, smiling, always that suggestion in his eyes, the swimsuit plastered to his toned thighs, looking out at him like he was ready to reach out and ravage him.
Hilary told himself, as he always did, that this wasn’t the real Jasper Prince. This was the brand…Marcia’s creation. He had always known this. But somehow, this time, he wasn’t quite able to believe it.
Before he was able to take control, his eye was dragged to the comments.
Fuckin hot flame emoji
You could ruin me, Jasper, and I’d just ask you back for more.
Let’s see one without the pants!!!!!!
DM me, plz. xxxxxx
Hilary felt more and more unwell but couldn’t look away.
See the fuckable lawyer finally dumped you. Does this mean he’s single?
Admit your engagement’s a lie, Jasper. You’re happier without him.
Don’t get married, Jasper. We all know you don’t love him.
Bloody fag couldn’t hack the publicity.
Jasper had replied to every single comment…except the ones about him.
“Everything okay?”
Hilary looked up. Dom stood at the sideboard, pouring drinks.
“Fine,” Hilary said, putting the phone face down on the table. “I just need to be ready for tomorrow.”
“You look upset.”
“I’m not.”
“What happened?”
Hilary schooled his face and met his penetrating gaze. “Nothing. Just wishing a barrister was questioning McGarry tomorrow.” He took the drink Dom offered and saw amusement lighting his eyes.
“You’re a hundred times more convincing than any barrister would be.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Hilary said, sipping the vodka and searching the papers for evidence reports, even though his brain was spinning so fast that the text was blurring before his eyes.
“Let me testify.”
Hilary looked up. “What?”
“I know you don’t think it’s a good idea,” Dom said as he pulled out the chair next to Hilary. “Miss Donovan explained I’m only on the list for appearances’ sake. But I think you should let me do it.”
“I don’t think it would work in our favor, Dom,” he said carefully.
“I convinced you, didn’t I?”
Hilary blushed and drank more vodka.
“I’m an innocent man, Hilary, accused of killing someone I cared about.”
“They don’t know that,” Hilary cut in. “And they’re not going to.”
“I know that,” Dom said. “But surely I deserve the chance to tell my side? I owe Dean that much.”
Hilary met the earnest, heavy gaze with a penetrating one of his own. “Are you still not going to tell me where you were that night?”
Dom’s face hardened. For a moment he looked exactly as unyielding as he had when Hilary had first walked into the townhouse living room. But then his gaze slid away, and the illusion was gone. “It’s not relevant.”
“You still don’t trust me?”
“I trust you,” Dominic said. “But you don’t need to know.” Hilary stared at him, trying to untangle the confusion that was warring with his newly acquired understanding and not sure which was winning. “Put me on the stand, Hilary,” Dom said softly. “Let me show the world who I really am.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“I’m not a good man,” he said. “There’s no point in pretending otherwise. But I’m not a killer. I believe the jury will see that.”
Hilary stared at the papers, his fingertips itching.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
“Fine. I could just murder a cigarette.”
“You smoke?” Dom said, surprise smoothing his face.
“Not officially.”
“I see,” he said, the amused look back on his face. “Well, I’m sorry, I can’t help with that,” he said. “That’s one particular vice I never got drawn into.”
Hilary took a large swallow of his drink, grateful for the warmth that burned down his throat and went some way to swamping the nervous tingling in his belly.
“And the others?” he heard himself asking as he turned a page.
“Others?”
Hilary met his gaze. “The drinking. The gambling. Crashing the cars, picking fights. All the reasons I shouldn’t put you on the stand?”
Dom stared into his glass. “Sometimes the old Dom comes back.”
Hilary looked at him hard. “Why did you punch that gay man, Dom?”
Dom met his look. “Is that worse than punching a straight man?”
“It looks worse.”
“Even now that you know the truth?”
“Even more now that I know the truth.”
Dom held his look for a long time then stared at the wall. Hilary sipped his drink and made himself wait, never taking his eyes from Dom’s face.
“Jack Hadnall was a member of a club I frequent,” Dom said quietly. “A discreet club. Private. I go there sometimes to…meet people.”
“Men?”
Dom nodded. “Not often. I don’t let myself get involved with anyone often—not unless they’re worth the risk.” He glanced at Hilary and away. “Hadnall…propositioned me there a few times. I turned him down.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t like him. Didn’t trust him. But he was…persistent.”
“He must have really liked you, then. That’s not making the story sound any better.”
“I didn’t say it would,” Dom said darkly, sipping his whiskey. “But I don’t think he liked me, not the real me. He just had this idea of me.” Dom gave Hilary a significant look. “From the press and so on. Other people at the club said that Hadnall liked it…rough in the bedroom. He obviously thought I could give him what he wanted. But that really isn’t what I’m into, whatever you might think.” He searched Hilary’s eyes a long moment. Hilary tried to decide what he was feeling but couldn’t. “So I steered well clear. But one night I was leaving the club with someone else and Hadnall followed us out. He was drunk…high. He threatened me and the man I was with.”
“Why didn’t you just leave?”
“I tried. But then he threatened Amelia.”
Hilary blinked. “What did he say?”
“Called her ‘fag-hag’, of all the vile expressions,” Dom said, curling his lip, “and many other, even less savory things. Said that she was to blame for my behavior, that she was making me suppress who I really was.” He shook his head. “My partner, sensibly, had left by this point, but Hadnall wouldn’t let me pass. I told him to move out of the way. He wouldn’t. Said he would make me face up to the truth of myself. That if it took getting Amelia out of the way, he’d do it.”
“So you hit him?”
Dom looked at the table. “I…snapped. One minute I was seeing red, the next thing I knew, Merriweather was pulling me off him.”
“Merriweather was there?”
“Merriweather is always there,” Dom said significantly.
“So he knows you’re gay?”
Dom shrugged. “He doesn’t ask questions. But he’s the only person I trust as much as Amelia.”
“It was too late, though…”
“Yes,” Dom said quietly, eyes far away. “I looked down. Hadnall’s face was broken and bloody and so were my hands. I don’t remember it happening…but I know it did.”
Silence stretched between them, deep and dark. Hilary knew a nervous tickling around his belly, the black fog threatening to steal up and into his mind. But he focused on Dom’s face, on the pain he could see in the back of his eyes, and didn’t let himself look away.
“Anger issues, they used to call it. But my current therapist calls it ‘unresolved childhood trauma’.”
Hilary swallowed. “What did he do, Dom? Your dad?”
Dom looked at him. “Are you asking if he abused me?”
“Yes. I am.”
“That’s the excuse abusive people use to justify their actions. I refuse to do it.”
“It’s not an excuse. It’s a reason. A real reason.”
Dom sighed. “My father didn’t abuse me, Hilary. Not in the way you’re thinking.”
“What’s the way I’m thinking?”
He gave him a frank look. “You think he touched me. Raped me?” Hilary held himself very still, kept his face neutral and nonjudgmental. “No. He would never do such a thing. Nor would he tolerate it being done to me, either.”
“Abuse isn’t always sexual.”
Dom was quiet a long moment and Hilary wondered if he’d pushed too far. But Hilary kept himself still, quiet, waiting and, eventually, Dom’s face softened. “He knew the truth about me before I did. He tried to…correct it.”
Hilary swallowed his shock. “Physically?”
“Sometimes,” Dom said, without intonation. “More often verbally.”
“Why?”
“He perceived ‘giving in’ to such things as weak. Perverse. Thought that being straight was a matter of willpower.” Dom met his eyes. “He never said as much, of course, but I know, now. Now I belong to a family that understands.”
Hilary stared at the table a long time. “Hadnall’s threats didn’t make it into the arrest report.”
“We struck a deal.” Dom stared out of the window at the glinting night. “But you can’t keep the truth buried forever.”
“Merriweather… Hadnall… The people at this club… More people who know the truth… People that you haven’t told me about…”
Dom gave him an apologetic look. “I’m so used to keeping these secrets it’s become instinct.” He sighed and looked away. “Yes, they all know. But all of them, even Hadnall, want it private just as much as I do. He was a member of that club for a reason, just like me. None of them told Lizzie. None of them told anyone. Otherwise, the prosecution would know, wouldn’t they?”
Hilary rubbed his aching eyes. Silence descended for a moment.
“Does he still make you angry? Your dad?” Hilary asked once he couldn’t keep the question in any longer.
“We don’t speak anymore.”
“What about your mum? Your brothers?”
“They all sided with him.”
“That must be tough.”
“It was when I needed them. I don’t anymore.” Dom raised his eyes to his. “You have a brother and sister, right? Twins?”
Hilary nodded.
“This case must be hard for you.”
“Finding the truth is usually hard,” Hilary said, glancing at his phone. “But it’s always worth it, no matter how much it hurts.”
Dom was quiet a moment. He gazed at Hilary, his eyes contemplative. “I said you’d changed since school…and yet in some ways you haven’t,” he said softly. “I still see that old shadow in your eyes sometimes.”
Hilary attempted to open his throat with another large swallow of vodka. “Some things just become part of you, I guess.”
“Does Jasper know that part of you?”
Hilary put the glass down firmly. “I’m not talking to you about him.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Hilary fought for words then gave up. “Just because.”
Dom nodded, agreeing if not accepting. He stood. “I’m going to bed,” he said, brushing a knuckle over Hilary’s cheek. “Could I tempt you to join me?”
Hilary let out a shuddering breath, pain lancing his chest anew. “What are we doing, Dom?”
Dom looked surprised. Then his expression softened. “We’re making up for lost time.”
“But…I don’t understand what’s happening here.”
Dom leaned down and kissed him gently, barely a touch, tender, reassuring. “It’s hard when you feel things you think you shouldn’t,” he whispered against his lips. “I understand that. But I want to help you feel good, Hilary. That’s all I’ve wanted for a long time.” He pulled away and looked into his eyes. “Come to bed?”
Hilary took a steadying breath and turned back to the table. “Soon,” he said, opening another file. He waited until he heard the bedroom door click shut before he opened up Jasper’s text message to reply.
It’s time to be honest, Jazz…
He stared at the message, then he remembered Jasper’s face at the restaurant, his pained, hurt words. He thought about how it felt, knowing he went home to a movie star every night. A movie star who loved him, he was sure. Well, almost sure…
Then he remembered the guest list for the wedding, the attention on social media every time it got mentioned, the hundreds of notifications he got every day of people liking or commenting on photos of him and Jasper or articles about their relationship. He tried to imagine how he could face DI McGarry the next day if he brought this up with Jasper now over text message. He deleted the message and retyped it.
All fine here. See you soon x
He sent it before he could think any more about it and turned back to the case files.
* * * *
He pulled himself from Dom’s sleeping embrace before dawn the following morning.
“You should leave some clothes here,” Dom said sleepily, managing to ripple Hilary’s skin with the hungry look in his half-open eyes. “Then you wouldn’t have to rush off every morning.”
Hilary set aside the prickly feeling that generated in his belly and left before the sight of the toned, naked body could derail his focus any further. When he arrived at the courthouse a few hours later, feeling physically better for a hot shower and a fresh suit, even if his mind refused to settle, he found he was able to meet Dom’s and Amelia’s eyes with a bland smile and a reassuring nod. Eloise did not look up from her phone when they reached the courtroom door.
“Wonderful that you could join us again, Mrs. Hart,” Hilary said as he held the door open.
“We all need to know what this policewoman has to say,” she said, tucking her phone away in her handbag as she followed her daughter to the front row. “Since you see her as fit to testify in Dominic’s defense.”
Hilary held his tongue with an effort but forgot all about her when he noticed Beck’s expression. Her face was strained, and she was staring at Augustine and Jabal as they murmured urgently to each other.
“What is it?” Hilary said, lowering his voice.
“Dunno,” Beck murmured. “But something’s up.”
A court clerk appeared at their table. “Judge Fotheringham wants to see all counsel in chambers.”
“What is it?” Dom asked as the clerk hurried away.
“I don’t know,” Hilary said. “Stay here.”
Judge Fotheringham was sat at her desk with a file open in front of her and a pinched look on her face.
“Good morning, counsel.” They all murmured a greeting and she looked up. “New evidence has turned up,” she said, holding out the file. Hilary took it and Beck leaned in to read over his shoulder. His blood chilled as he read and turned the page to see the photo of a metal cylinder.
“The silencer?” Beck asked.
“A silencer,” Augustine corrected.
“Though ballistics have confirmed it is a fit for a nine-millimeter,” the judge went on.
“Where was it found?” Hilary said, skin prickling.
“In a drain,” Augustine said, glancing at Jabal. “In an alley behind Curzon Street in Hammersmith.”
Beck stared. “That’s Adeel Bukhari’s street…”
“Yes, but—” Augustine started.
“My lady, I want this submitted as evidence for the defense,” Hilary cut in, placing the file back on the desk.
“I thought you might,” the judge said, pulling the file toward her.
“My lady, there is nothing to say that this silencer was used in this crime,” Augustine went on. “There is no DNA, no forensic evidence on the device at all. And, from what they can tell, it has only been in the drain a few days.”
“What are you suggesting, counsel?” Hilary asked.
“I’m not suggesting anything,” Augustine replied, her voice flat. “But it’s our considered opinion that this finding is not significant to this trial.”
“My lady, it has to be,” Hilary insisted. “Bukhari had a personal relationship with the victim, a tempestuous one at that. And now, just a few days after his testimony—”
“Bukhari has an alibi,” Augustine put in. “And we only found the silencer because of an anonymous tip. It’s not enough to warrant—”
“This is not the place for a case review, counsel,” Fotheringham interrupted. “If the defense wants to submit it as evidence, that is their prerogative. It’s up to them to try to establish its significance, just as it’s up to you to establish the lack of it, if that’s your position.”
