The problem of getting r.., p.11
The Problem of Getting Rich Quik ... Part One, page 11
part #1 of The problem of getting Rich Quik Series
‘I take great offence to that comment,’ Richard said pissed off.
‘Good.’
‘Lily?’
‘What?’
‘Meet me? Please?’
‘Okay,’ she eventually replied laughing to herself about her verbal assault on him. ‘Let’s just go for coffee. But I’m not coming into your office. I’ll meet you in the park across the road.’
‘Worried about being seen out with me?’ he smirked.
‘No,’ she replied wondering what she’d just let herself in for. ‘I’m just scared Rosana might push me down the stairs if she knows I’m coming in.’
‘How long has it been?’ Dominic asked Lily over dinner in the local Pizza Express. ‘Five weeks?’
‘Yes, he’s lovely and he’s taken me to so many gorgeous places.’
‘And you still don’t know what kind of car he drives other than it’s a sporty dark blue thing?’ he said cutting up his pizza.
‘I’m not interested in cars,’ she said, thinking about Richard and smiling.
‘And you still haven’t shagged the man. Is he bent or something?’
‘Why should he be homosexual because he likes me?’ taking the knife out of Dominic’s hand and starting to cut her pizza. ‘You told me he had a reputation with women.’
‘The fact he hasn’t laid a finger on you makes me beg to differ considering he’s supposed to be a stud muffin on Viagra. I mean he has had more women than you’ve eaten chocolate!’
‘Impossible!’ she said astounded by the comment. ‘No one could physically do that!’
‘He hasn’t even gone for a quick feel?’
‘Not all men are like you and head for the fanny, you know.’ Lily noticed Dominic’s raised eyebrows as he started eating his pizza, letting the cheese hang from the slice in his hand. ‘He hasn’t even kissed me.’
‘The man doesn’t want to touch you and here was me thinking he was one of those sex addicts.’
‘He respects me.’
‘He can’t fancy you. Lily Butt you’re losing your touch.’
‘I’m not.’ She sat there and pushed her pizza away. ‘Okay, I was flattered at first but after the third week, I did wonder what was wrong. He’s very funny and great company.’
‘Maybe he sees you like I do,’ Dominic said patting her head. ‘A mate.’
‘He doesn’t fancy me does he?’ she gulped
‘There’s this glow about you, like a neon light,’ Dominic winked before smiling. ‘Yes, it’s saying ‘shag me senseless Rich’.’
‘You’re an arsehole,’ she said throwing her napkin at him. ‘Anyway, you’re being sly. What’ve you been up to?’
‘Nothing,’ he said, guilty as hell.
‘Okay, I’ll reword my question. Who have you been up?’ Lily smiled as she knew Dominic hated it when she turned the tables on him. He went bright red before eating another slice of pizza. ‘Why are you being so secretive?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about?’ he replied. ‘We’re going to be late if you carry on chatting non-stop.’
‘Why won’t you tell me who it is? Do I know her?’
‘Not really.’
Lily examined Dominic’s face as he glanced around the room licking his teeth and avoiding eye contact. Then an awful thought crossed her mind. She couldn’t speak because the words could easily choke her to death.
‘Are you seeing Rosana?’ she said and waited. Dominic did a double take. ‘I’ll kill you if you are.’
‘What did you say?’
He pulled a confused face then leaned closer.
‘Are you seeing Richard’s PA?’
‘Of course I’m not!’ he shouted, making the passing waiter jump.
‘Okay. Well that’s good. Anyone’s better than her.’
They left half an hour later and walked to Julian’s house for drinks.
‘How’ve you been?’ Julian asked throwing gin and tonics into large tumblers before handing them over. Lily examined his dark conker coloured skin, shaved head and the amount of mascara he’d applied to his lashes on top of the falsies. He looked extremely youthful for a forty four year old man. ‘The pair of you have been crap lately.’
‘I know but I’ve been busy,’ said Dominic smugly. ‘And she’s trying to get laid.’
‘Dominic!’ shouted Lily pushing him really hard. ‘You look gorgeous Julian.’
‘I know,’ he said putting his nose in the air. ‘There’s loads of food and drink.’
Lily looked at Dominic and shook her head in dismay.
‘Brilliant. I’m famished,’ Dominic said rubbing his flat tummy and walking straight towards the food.
An hour later Lily sat by the window trying not to ponder too long on her dismay over Richard.
‘Ha! You didn’t want to tell me did you?’ Julian said striding up to her.
‘Tell you what?’ she asked seeing him eye her up and down suspiciously before bending over to look her in the eye.
‘Richard Hayden-Quik!’
‘Dominic told you?’ she grimaced, waiting for the onslaught. ‘And you know who he is?’
‘Yes, yes, yes. Move,’ he said, pushing her roughly so he could sit down. ‘My little lovely, is it true you’re seeing him?’
‘No I’m-.’
‘Introduce me. Please, please, please,’ said Julian loud enough for his voice to reverberate around the living room.
‘Why?’ asked Lily as Julian squeezed her hand.
‘I love him,’ Julian said. ‘I know he’s not gay but I love his work and he can give me the break I need. I’m surprised Mr Sweetness,’ pointing his head towards Dominic, ‘hasn’t asked you for an introduction.’
‘I can’t see why you’d want to meet Richard, he does serious stuff,’ she said and watched Julian’s face turn to stone.
‘I want to do more serious parts. It’s not good enough earning a fortune doing my drag act! I want to do something that will win awards. I mean, can you imagine him me playing Othello in stockings?’ Julian smirked before glaring at her. ‘So when am I going to meet him?
‘Dominic’s not sure I should be seeing him,’ said Lily, catching a glance from Dominic.
‘He’s just jealous,’ said Julian. ‘He probably wants him for himself.’
‘Piss off Julian,’ Dominic shouted.
‘Come out of the closet love, I’ll be there to help,’ teased Julian turning to look at Lily. ‘Okay, so what’s the problem?’
‘You’re embarrassing me,’ snapped Lily looking down at her feet. ‘And what’s the fuss about Richard? So he’s a film maker.’
‘Unless you didn’t notice I am an actor and Dominic, well, he has his moments of being a thesp so, of course, I’m interested in the man!’
‘He’s just a normal guy.’
‘Normal!’ shrieked Julian before glancing over at Dominic. ‘He’s like hot property while you’re like a beaten old garage.’ Julian scowled. ‘What does he see in you?’
‘I’m likeable.’
‘Probably to you mother and I know that’s a long shot!’ he laughed. ‘Come on, the fact someone’s giving you the time of day is something isn’t it? And not just anyone!’
Julian crossed his legs in indignation while Dominic laughed in the background.
‘Don’t push it,’ Lily said flashing Dominic a dirty look.
‘Tell me,’ Julian persisted. ‘What are you doing with Richard if you’ve no idea about how important he is in our industry?’
‘We’ve been going for drinks and dinner for over five weeks and he hasn’t tried it on,’ she said, feeling rather virtuous about this piece of information. ‘He’s incredibly-.’
‘Oh Christ!’ Julian said jumping up and down. ‘He’s gay, he’s gay!’
‘He’s not,’ said Lily as Dominic walked towards her. ‘Maybe he just wants to be friends with me.’
‘Do you want to be just friends with him?’ asked Julian leaning closer to her face.
‘Well . . . no.’
‘Then listen to my piece of my advice.’
‘Okay,’ she said, waiting for Julian’s wise words.
‘Fuck him,’ whispered Julian. ‘Fuck him as if your life depends on it.’
‘I really think you should marry Dominic, you really are made for each other,’ said Lily, shaking her head in dismay.
‘You seem in another world,’ Richard asked as he ordered their second drink a few days later.
‘Oh really?’ said Lily, trying to snap out of her strange haze.
She admired Richard wearing jeans and a shirt, looking very sexy. Sighing she sipped her drink.
‘What’s that sigh for,’ he said, sitting forward and grinning. ‘Am I boring you?’
‘No,’ she said, readjusting in the chair. ‘I was thinking how much I liked your company.’
‘That’s very sweet. Are you sure you’re not hungry? I had a big lunch but I could order you a bar snack?’
‘I’m fine,’ she said, smiling at him.
Her thoughts were all over the place based on her conversations with Dominic and Julian.
‘Why are you shaking your head?’ he asked leaning closer. ‘I didn’t take you for a mad woman, well, that’s not true after your head banging stint all those weeks ago’
‘Very funny Mr HQ! And may I remind you I was having an exceptionally bad day when that happened,’ she smiled. ‘I was just thinking about something someone told me about you.’
As soon as she said it she noticed his smile fade.
‘What was that?’
‘Forget it,’ she said picking up her glass and drinking quite quickly.
‘Steady on,’ he said putting his hand on her arm to gently stop her from knocking back her drink. ‘Tell me what they said.’
‘It’s not interesting.’
‘Is to me.’
‘Can I ask you a question?’ she said suddenly feeling very jittery.
‘Sure.’
‘Why do you keep asking me out?’
There was a deathly silence as he sat there quite confused for a moment before staring at her suspiciously.
‘Why are you asking?’ he said, leaning back and crossing his leg over his thigh.
‘We don’t have much in common, I mean, I’m not like part of your social crowd, I don’t want to be on the telly or in a film. I don’t know much about your stuff.’
‘Stuff?’
‘We talk about things and I think we get on but you never mention if you’ve got a girlfriend or what you did over the weekend where I blather on like an idiot,’ she said, trying to make light of it.
‘I haven’t got a steady girlfriend,’ he said narrowing his eyes at her. ‘And my weekends merge into the week so they’re not that interesting.’
‘Why haven’t you got a girlfriend?’ Lily asked as she put down her drink and leaned closer. ‘Someone like you shouldn’t be hanging out with someone like me.’
‘Why not?’ Richard was examining her closely. ‘What’s wrong with being with you? Unless you’re saying you don’t like my company?’
‘Don’t twist it.’ Lily smiled at the gorgeous man and realised she wasn’t going to get a straight answer. ‘I need to ask you a question?’
‘What is it Lily?’
‘Do you like me?’
‘Yes, of course I do,’ he grinned. ‘I like you very much. Do you like me after our disastrous start?’
‘Yes, I like you very much,’ she said as Richard smiled sweetly. ‘You’ve redeemed yourself.’
‘What do you need to know?’
Richard leaned forward.
‘What do you think of me?’ she said putting her glass down.
‘I think you’re lovely,’ he quietly said and leaned back in his chair.
‘In what way?’
‘Okay,’ he said sitting up straight. ‘Where’s this leading?’
‘When’s the last time you had sex?’ she blurted out then put her hand firmly over her mouth.
‘What did you say?’ he asked, nearly choking on his own spit.
‘Nothing,’ she said feeling mortified by his reaction and her question.
‘You didn’t say what I think you said?’
‘Ignore me.’
She bolted upright and started knocking back her drink.
‘That’s not a normal question.’
‘I know. Forget it.’ Lily apologised.
‘You don’t discuss your sex life with a stranger.’
‘I agree.’ Lily watched as he frowned and she was momentarily hurt by the use of ‘stranger’. ‘Sorry.’
‘But as it’s you I’ll answer the question. I had sex weeks ago. And you?’
‘And me what?’
‘When’s the last time you had sex?’
‘Me?’ She sat there trying to think. ‘I vaguely remember . . . oh god no, that doesn’t count.’
‘That bad?’ he laughed. ‘And you and Dominic have never got down and dirty.’
‘Never,’ she said grimacing.
‘I don’t believe you,’ Richard laughed. ‘He’s a good looking bloke.’
‘He’s alright,’ she shrugged and smiled. ‘Dom’s very charming and he spends all his life on the pull.’
‘But he’s never pulled you? Not one tiny kiss?’
‘There was an incident-.’
‘I knew it,’ he said smiling brightly.
‘We decided after six months since being dumped by the boyfriend, otherwise known as his best mate, we would try and kiss. We got very drunk but when our lips met it was like that.’ She demonstrated by putting her palms flat together. ‘He felt no stirring and I felt like it was kissing a child. Then we quarrelled for fifteen minutes about who was going to touch tongues first. Well by then the passion, not that there was any, had gone and we were seriously starting to sober up. Dom and I realised we liked each other but couldn’t do the horizontal shuffle. No chemistry in that department I’m afraid.’
‘Maybe another time and another place?’
‘Dominic likes the ladies. He likes a certain type,’ she laughed. ‘And I’m not like that at all. I’m sort of his sister stroke best mate stroke grandmother. I’m not as glamorous as his mother.’
‘I’m not sure I believe you about Dominic not fancying you,’ he said taking a sip of his drink.
‘When I tell Dom I’m meeting you for drinks he thinks it’s all very strange based on your reputation. He’s in awe of you, you see.’ Lily watched Richard’s face turn to stone. This time she knew she’d gone too far. ‘We talk about lots of things. Do you have a best friend?’
She saw him glare for a second before his face softened.
‘I do,’ he smiled. ‘His name is John and he’s living in the States at the moment. I’ve known him since we were teenagers.’
‘It’s great having someone you can trust in your life,’ she said trying to change the subject quickly. ‘Do you think he’d like me, your friend?’
‘Oh no!’ laughed Richard. ‘He’s a bit like me, he likes his women very beautiful.’ As he said that Lily’s smile inadvertently dropped feeling a stab in her gut and saw him do a double take. ‘In a superficial way, you know models and actresses. I didn’t mean you’re not-.’
‘That’s fine,’ she said shrugging off the deep insult. ‘I never made it into the top five pretty girls at school I was always around six or seven, just as I was a B minus student, never an A grade.’
‘That can’t be true.’
She noticed he’d gone bright red.
‘It is and I’m fine with it. Sometimes being exotic looking isn’t appealing to all tastes,’ she gulped feeling her cheeks match the colour of his.
‘I didn’t mean to say you’re not beautiful, of course you are,’ he said over zealously even Lily knew he was putting it on too thick. ‘And I like you.’
‘Dominic’s right again,’ she mumbled stunned by her disappointment.
‘What’s Dominic been saying?’ Richard briskly asked.
‘Nothing horrible,’ said Lily enthusiastically trying to cover what was going on in her head. ‘He thinks, oh I shouldn’t have started this.’
She put her hand on her forehead and knew from Richard’s expression this wasn’t going well.
‘Come on tell me,’ he persisted.
‘He admires you because you’re talented, successful and-’ she nervously laughed. ‘How can I put it?’
‘Tell me what he said?’ Richard eyed her suspiciously.
‘You shag around,’ she smiled uncomfortably. ‘Dom thinks you must have gone off sex to hang around with me. Completely!’ She laughed pulling a face as if she were apologising for Dominic. ‘Or you think of me as a mate, like he does or you’re turning gay or you just find me pug ugly, which seems to be the case.’
‘I didn’t say you were ugly.’
‘You implied it, that’s fine,’ she said taking a deep breath trying to cover her total mortification. ‘I know I’m no knock out.’ His silence as the third drink turned up spoke volumes. ‘Oh great!’ Lily took the glass before the waiter had a chance to put it down, sipping it very quickly then stopping to look at Richard. His eyebrows were raised before he glanced down at the ground. ‘I didn’t mean to be rude. Don’t listen to me it’s the drink talking.’
‘It’s nothing I haven’t heard before,’ he said sharply. ‘Drink up, we better go.’
‘Go where?’ she said realising she’d upset him.
‘I’m not in the mood for this place,’ he said and gestured to the waiter for the bill.
‘Have I done something wrong?’
‘Let’s just go,’ he said quickly, getting up and walking to the toilets leaving Lily sucking on a piece of ice.
Waiting in the bar, Lily felt helpless, hopeless and a hag. His mood had completely changed and he was more like the man who threw her out of his office and shouted at her outside his mother’s home.
‘There are a couple of people I know. I’ll just go and say hello,’ he said walking passed her as she saw him head off to the two most beautiful women in the bar, the pair of them delighted to see him.
‘Of course,’ she shrugged feeling massive waves of disappointment.
She took the initiative and started walking very quickly towards the tube station.
‘I’m not beautiful enough,’ she said shaking her head to herself feeling totally devastated. ‘Of course! What was I thinking? Emerald, that’s more what he wants.’
