Agent of denial, p.1
Agent of Denial, page 1
Agent of Denial
A Power Broker Novel
Sadie Haller
QTP
Contents
Warning
About this Book
Books by Sadie Haller
Disclaimer
Part 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Part 2
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Warning
Agent of Denial travels through some very dark places. If you have the potential to be triggered, this may not be the book for you.
About this Book
Alasdair:
* * *
She’s not for me.
While a piece of me wants to wrap her in my arms and keep her safe, I know myself.
My dark sexual appetite, my feral underbelly.
If she gets too close, she'll discover a beast who will push her right to the very edge of sanity.
* * *
Katie:
* * *
After escaping a nightmare, I swore I’d never let myself be vulnerable again.
But then physical needs take over.
In a world with well over three billion men, there has to be one for me.
Not that it matters.
No man wants another’s broken toys.
* * *
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Books by Sadie Haller
Dominant Cord
One Gold Heart
One Gold Knot
One Gold Triquetra
* * *
Tainted Pearl
Tainted Shadow
* * *
Power Brokers
Chief of Perversion
Agent of Denial
Master of Deceit (Coming soon)
* * *
Fetwrk
Power Exchange
Blacklist Hookup
Unfriendly Relations
Daddy Issues
Full Circle
Noble Expectations (coming soon)
* * *
Frisky Beavers
Prime Minister
Dr. Bad Boy
Full Mountie
Mr. Hat Trick
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Disclaimer
Agent of Denial is a work of fiction and I make no apologies for playing fast and loose with facts, legal shit, medical technicalities, or any other inconvenient realities that threatened to get in the way of the story.
Part 1
1
Alasdair
My gaze keeps sliding back to the timid little mouse slouching at a table in the corner. The one Georgia rescued from her abusive husband a few months ago.
Katie.
I shake my head. She’s not for me.
Oh, there’s a piece of me that wants to wrap her in my arms and keep her safe. The problem is, the protector part of me has zero control over my sexual appetite.
That part of me is feral. A beast who wants to tangle my fist in her hair and force her to her knees, so I can shove my cock deep in her throat until she gags and then push farther. A beast who wants to bind her naked to a spanking bench and stripe her pale skin with a cane, over and over, until her ass and thighs are completely covered with my marks.
A beast whose imagination is limitless.
A beast who wants to make her sob and scream and beg for mercy.
A beast who wants to break her.
No, she’s definitely not for me.
I shift in my seat, willing away the erection that’s taking up far too much space in my pants. Why the fuck did I even come to this thing?
Right, because it’s Heath’s fucking wedding and I’m fucking obligated to be here. Brotherhood, and all that.
And it just fucking figures my cock is ignoring the few potential hook-up options in favor of an already broken toy.
The sound of an ass dropping onto the seat next to me drags my attention away from the little mouse. “Heath. You should be with your lovely bride.”
“Soon. First, I have a huge ask,” he says.
“Anything, you know that.”
“I’m so glad you said so.”
Oh, hell, I know that tone. I’m really going to hate this.
“It’s kind of a two part thing. First, I need you to take Katie back to Virginia with you. We weren’t planning to ask you so soon, but Georgia got a call from the prosecutor this morning. That abusive fucker managed to make evidence disappear and witnesses recant their statements. He’s been released, so we need to come up with a long-term plan, now her ex is no longer going to trial.”
“And the second?”
“I need you to be her Dom.”
“Come again?”
“I need you to—”
“Oh, I heard you. I just didn’t think you could possibly be serious.”
“Deadly.”
“When I said I’d do anything, I meant anything but the Dom bit.” I can’t believe he’d ask such a thing of me.
“Why not?”
“She’s already broken.”
“Is she, though?”
“Come on, Heath, we both know what she went through. I could really damage her.”
“I don’t think you’re giving her, or yourself, enough credit. She needs this. And she’s going to get to a point where she’s desperate, and she’ll go looking for relief. She’s done that before, and we know how that turned out. The fact that you’re concerned about potentially causing her more harm than she’s already experienced tells me you’re the right choice. Besides, I didn’t miss the way you’ve been eyeing her up. You want her. Now you can have her.”
“No. It’s not right. She needs to heal. If she really wants to be involved in BDSM, then she needs a gentle Dom. Someone who will nudge her along as she’s ready. Not a hardcore sadist like me who will push her right to the very edge of her sanity.”
“She’s a masochist, Dair. She needs more than a Dom who’ll give her a barehanded over-the-knee spanking as a special Saturday night treat. She needs someone who’ll give her real relief. She needs you.”
“I—”
“What is Georgia’s job?”
“Extracting women from abusive partners.”
“Do you think she’d recommend an unsafe situation for someone she’d rescued? Someone she’s known since childhood?”
“Of course not.”
“Yet, you’re the person she’s convinced can best give Katie what she needs.”
“Fuck off. There is no way Georgia would risk Katie’s emotional well-being like this.”
“That’s your opinion. In truth, Georgia is convinced the much bigger risk is Katie getting desperate enough to do something reckless. And quite frankly, so am I.”
“Why, what’s she done?”
“Nothing… yet. Not that we are aware of, anyway. But it Georgia is sure it won’t be long.”
“Why not just get me a big ol’ neon sign that says Dair’s Safe-house of Pain.”
“Hey, that has a great ring to it.”
“Fuck off, Heath. I’m not a babysitter, and I sure as fuck am not a service sadist.”
“Look, in all seriousness, she needs help on a bunch of levels, and I think you’re the one person who can provide it.”
I rake my fingers through my hair in frustration. I want to do the right thing.
I just don’t know what it is.
2
Katie
I keep feeling Heath’s friend Alasdair watching me, but I can’t seem to catch him at it.
He’s ruggedly handsome, in a sort of caveman-haul-you-over-his-shoulder-and-take-you kind of way.
But I don’t understand how I can possibly find any man attractive, let alone one as big as this guy.
Not that my soon-to-be-ex was a particularly large man. Given enough creativity and determination, size is irrelevant to how much damage and agony a man can inflict—both physically and emotionally. And no matter how much others have tried to convince me otherwise, it was my own fault.
I brought it on myself.
Shuddering, I shove those thoughts aside.
While they’re true, this isn’t the time or place to dwell on them.
Maybe it’s the love and romance of a wedding that have me opening up to possibilities.
That, and maybe months of therapy.
Love. What it must be like to be truly loved. The way Heath is with Georgia makes my heart melt.
I want that.
Except I want it with a super-sized helping of ouch.
Georgia has talked with me a lot about her relationship with Heath, and not just as confidantes. She’s been so sweet in her attempts to assure me that my wants and needs aren’t sick and freaky. That they’re normal for me. And I deserve a responsible partner who will complement them.
If only.
It’s been three months since I fled my marriage. As dysfunctional as it was, I’m deeply ashamed to admit that I was getting some of the relief I needed, even though Jim’s methods went well beyond my limits.
The thing is, I’m on the verge of snapping. My need for pain is close to the point of overriding good judgment, and that’s where the danger truly lies.
It’s what got me into a virtually inescapable world of bad hurt once before.
But there are over three billion men on the planet—there has to be one for me.
And right now, in my fantasy life, that one looks a lot like Alasdair Gordon.
I’m startled out of my daydream and frown slightly as Georgia slides into the chair next to me. “You should be out there dancing with that hot piece of husband,” I admonish, pointing to the crowded dance floor.
“I will. But first, we need to talk.”
“Nope. That sounds like serious, and this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. A day where there is no place for serious beyond the vows you exchanged with Heath. Whatever is on your mind can wait until after the honeymoon.”
“I’m afraid not.” Her forehead creases slightly and she lays her hand over mine.
My gut starts to churn, and I swallow against the lump forming in my throat. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry, but Jim is out of jail. They released him this morning. The entire case fell apart. He got to witnesses and evidence went missing.”
I shouldn’t be surprised—he’s a cop, and a dirty one at that. He knows the system, has friends in high and low places—but the news still sends me reeling. My three months of relative peace are completely shattered. What am I going to do now? He’s probably already hunting me down, and this is the first place he’s going to come looking. I just know it. I shove down my rising panic. I need to come up with a plan. I—
“Katie, it’s going to be fine. Heath and I feel it’s better for you to be far away from the city with someone who can keep you safe, so arrangements have been made for you to slip away from the reception while everyone’s attention is elsewhere.”
“Georgia, you’ve already done too much. It’s your wedding day.”
“Yes, it is. And I won’t be able to enjoy it if I’m worrying about you. So, if you really want me to be able to relax and have some fun, you’ll go with Alasdair, and obey him without question. Can you do that for me?”
“Alasdair?” Oh Jesus, why does it have to be the one man here I find attractive?
“Everything is going to be okay, I promise. You know I’d never set you up in a bad situation.”
Nodding, I squeeze her hand. “I know.”
“Good. Your things are packed and in the car waiting for when you leave. When Dair says it’s time to head out, don’t hesitate, don’t make a fuss. Just go quietly with him.”
“Where is he taking me?”
“To stay with him at his house in Virginia.”
“Alone?”
“He’s a good man. A safe man. For now, just trust me, okay?”
“Okay.” But I’m not convinced.
“Just be safe, and I’ll be happy. And right now, being safe means staying with Dair.” She looks up, and I turn to see what’s caught her eye. Heath and Alasdair, who looks even larger and scarier—and sexier—than he had from across the room.
“Katie,” Heath says, “I’d like to introduce you to my good friend Alasdair Gordon.”
I look up at the big man and shrink in my seat.
Yes, I’m attracted to him, but only in my own personal fantasyland where nothing and no one is scary. Or dangerous.
Even though Georgia is confident I’ll be safe with Alasdair, she doesn’t really know him.
How can she? She’s only recently met him, herself.
Even Heath can’t really know who this man is deep inside.
There are so many surprise monsters in the world. People whose closest friends and relatives—those who should truly know them—are clueless to the depths of their evil and depravity.
“Katie… short for?” Dair asks.
I’m momentarily caught off guard. Most people don’t bother asking, they just assume it’s short for some form of Catherine.
“Kathleen,” I respond, my voice a little breathy. What the hell is wrong with me?
“Kathleen.” The way he says it is like he’s rolling it around in his mouth the way one would taste a fine wine. “I like it.”
I do, too. When he says it, anyway. With that low, gravelly voice that resonates deep in my chest, sending shivers all over and a tingling between my legs.
I get the feeling him using my full name could mean a good kind of trouble. In my fantasies, anyway.
“I wish we had more time to get to know one another first, but it would seem the universe had other plans. Once Georgia is ready to throw her bouquet, you and I will exit through the side door, which leads to the staff access corridor. From there, we will take the VIP exit, where the car will meet us.”
I don’t even know how to respond to this. I’m shaken by all the new information and how quickly my circumstances have changed. Until a few minutes ago, I thought my abuser was behind bars and I would be returning to the relative safety of the shelter.
“Kathleen, right now I just need you to acknowledge you heard me and will follow instructions.”
I don’t want to do any of that.
Acknowledging it makes it real, and right now, real is terrifying.
But when it comes right down to it, my options are pretty much non existent. Have been since the day I met Jim. “Yes. I’ll do whatever is necessary.” I respond carefully, my voice flat and lifeless as I backslide into the world of Stepford Wife, saying whatever I think will keep me from getting into bad trouble. The kind of trouble that crosses into the need for medical attention territory.
“Good girl. I’m sorry we won’t be able to stay and enjoy all the festivities—”
Good girl. Just two little words. It’s ridiculous how easily they pull me back from the pit of don’t fuck up.
I can’t recall the last time anyone told me I was a good girl. I never thought I’d hear those words ever again. I tamp down the thrill. This isn’t real life. For me, it’s a fantasy I can’t let get out of hand. For him, I’m a favor, at best. More likely, I’m a burden.
“It’s fine. I wasn’t planning to stay for the whole evening, anyway.”
