Bears in mind, p.21
Bears in Mind, page 21
part #1 of Ursa Shifters Series
“What’s this I’ve heard about you leaving Paul?” she said, sounding harried.
“And good morning to you too,” I said before walking over to my desk and sitting down.
“It’s not a good morning,” she said with a hiss. “I’ve been hearing stories all week about you and your antics, Natalie. What the hell were you thinking?”
That I didn’t want to get her or Dad involved in any of this, was what I’d been thinking. I’d known I had to talk to them, that it was only a matter of time before they forced the issue, but there was a reason I’d gone to Holly, not them, for help. Mum was always preoccupied by what the neighbours thought. And Dad? While he always seemed so monolithic and calm, it just made me feel messy by comparison.
“I was thinking I didn’t want to be trapped in a loveless marriage anymore,” I replied honestly, despite knowing that would just give her another target to aim at, but I couldn’t seem to care. I sat back in my chair, spinning slightly. “I was thinking I couldn’t take Paul’s shit anymore.”
“Yes, well, I told you not to marry that boy, didn’t I? He was never good enough for you and then there was your degree.” Her voice took on a familiar wailing note. “Imagine where you could’ve been if you’d completed it?”
“Living in the city; not having this conversation?” I snarked.
“Natalie! You don’t speak to your mother like that.” She paused, giving me the chance to apologise, then charged on when I didn’t. “Well, you’ve made your bed and now you have to lie in it. Paul came by last night…”
What? I could barely hear her words, her voice becoming an annoying, piercing whine in my ears. Mum and Dad hated Paul, barely tolerating him at family get-togethers. He was the one who’d dragged me off the bright and shining path I was on and forced me into marrying him, as far as they were concerned; something they’d tried to warn me about when we first got together at high school. Back then, I’d felt like my parents were being ridiculously snobby, looking down on the Baileys, but now I was beginning to wonder.
“Mum, you know he’s got a thing going with Britney Prentiss.”
“What?” That stopped her constant babble for a second. “Well, that can’t be right. He came around for dinner last night and looked a terrible mess. As he would, his wife having left him for four strangers. That fling with Britney must be all finished now, anyway. He virtually begged us to step in and help him with a situation we knew almost nothing about because all we’ve got are reports from the neighbours. Honestly, Natalie, I thought we raised you better than this.”
Had they? Was there some fatal flaw in their parenting that meant that I’d been happy to stay, for how long, with a man who didn’t love me? Being with Thorn, with Koda, with the other guys, it was like moving a leg when you’ve held the position for too long, and now the blood was rushing into my extremities, bringing me back to life. I realised that it didn’t matter what Mum or anyone else had to say. Things might not work out with the guys, but I knew now that I was never going back to Paul, ever.
“Have you tried marriage counselling?” Mum asked.
“Yes. I went, he wouldn’t. I’m fairly sure the counsellor thought I should leave him back then.”
“Well, it’d be worth another try, I think. Paul obviously wasn’t in the right head space then but I think you’ll find he’s much more receptive now.”
“No.”
“No? No?! What the hell has gotten into you, Natalie? You were always such a sensible girl, except when you decided to get married rather than finish your degree.”
“And you hated Paul for that, remember, Mum? You freaking hated him.”
“I don’t know if I—”
“You didn’t want him in our family. You definitely didn’t want me marrying him. Think about that for a second.”
But before I could say anymore there was a sharp knock at the door and Simmons stuck his head in a moment later. He saw the bunch of flowers in the bin, frowned slightly, then looked at me.
“I’ve got a meeting this morning and I need you to take minutes.”
“No problems,” I said, getting to my feet, then addressing Mum. “I need to go. I’ve got work to do.”
I didn’t wait for a reply, tapping the ‘end call’ button and then putting the device on silent. Sure enough it started ringing almost immediately afterwards but I shoved it in my pocket, grabbed my laptop and then followed Simmons through.
“Natalie, you must remember Rob Prentiss?”
I stopped just inside the door of Simmons’ office and blinked, taking in the large man. He plastered on that kind of smarmy smile that seemed to be perfected by used car salesman and walked over to me.
“The lovely Natalie!” I was being rude in a context where it wasn’t smart to, but I just stared for a moment at the hand he held out, the constant screaming in my head the only thing that forced me to move mine to shake his. “So, you’ll be joining us today?”
“Natalie will take minutes as we talk, Prentiss,” Simmons said.
“Minutes? So formal? We’re only in the feeling-out stage, Bernard,” Rob replied.
“Nonetheless, I prefer there to be a record of the conversations being held. Natalie?”
“Before I start.” I slipped into my PA persona like a pair of old clothes. They might not fit very well right now, but I knew how to put them on. “Did anyone want tea, coffee or water?”
They didn’t so I sat down at the small desk in the corner of the office and fired up my laptop.
“Housing in the cities is becoming a joke,” Rob told Simmons. “We’ve already had a sea change and a tree change, where people started pouring out of the cities and moving into rural areas, but Langston has really missed out on that influx of newcomers. And for no good reason that I can see. It’s a lovely little town.” Simmons preened at that. “Close to hospitals, with a good school and it’s really ripe for development. With this proposed housing estate, we can give first home buyers and telecommuters all of the experience of having a brand new home at an affordable price, with plenty of land to raise a family on, but at a quarter of the price a run-down place in the city would cost.”
My fingers danced across the keys, Rob expanding on his vision as I took notes furiously, trying to record the salient points. This document would be shared with the other councillors, flagging the potential project as one to be considered at a later date.
“But the land you’re proposing to build this estate on already has houses on it,” Simmons said. “How do you think you’re going to get around that? Wouldn’t it be better to clear the scrub land to the east?”
“Too close to the river and all those mosquitoes,” Rob said, with a dismissive shake of his head. “Plus there’s the risk of flooding. No, it needs to be those blocks outside of town, as the rest is all zoned for farmland.”
Rob looked hopefully at Simmons, but the mayor just stroked his fingers along his chin.
“I’ll let the other councillors know about your potential proposal and we’ll see how we go from there,” my boss said, getting to his feet and putting out his hand. “It is a tempting prospect, seeing Langston grow.”
“Think of all that increased tax revenue, Bernard,” Rob said, taking his hand and shaking it. “You’re not getting any younger. The time for consolidating your legacy is now.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, Rob,” Simmons replied mildly, then showed Prentiss the door.
Once he was gone, Simmons approached my desk.
“Send me a copy of the minutes,” he instructed me, “and when I’ve approved them, make sure a copy is emailed out to all of the councillors with a message explaining this is all just in the preliminary stages of discussion and that no decision will be made yet.”
“No problems.” I shut my laptop, moving to leave, but Simmons stopped me.
“Natalie, we need to have a little chat.”
No conversation that starts like that is a good one. The ‘little’ part is always to try and minimise the impact, but you know it’s not going to be good, nonetheless.
“Of course,” I said, sitting back in my chair and paying attention.
“You know I don’t like to get involved in people’s private lives,” he told me.
That was kind of true. He was always rushing around, too preoccupied with his own stuff, to worry much about anyone else, so his choice of words put me on high alert. I’d anticipated that his state of apathy about me as a person would continue. So when I’d decided to alert the town to my change in marital situation, I hadn’t thought it would become an issue at work. The flowers suggested otherwise. I nodded my agreement with his statement, for the sake of moving things along.
“But there are things that have been brought to my attention that I can’t ignore, because they have the potential to affect the council and its reputation.” I knew the man was uncomfortable about this when he smoothed his hands down his sides, then faced me. “I’ve heard rumours that you… have some sort of romantic entanglement with the restoration contractors?”
Dear god, he looked like my dad trying to have the ‘birds and the bees’ convo with me.
“All four of them? And that you left your husband for them?” Simmons looked so disappointed and self-righteous that I felt a small pang of guilt at his words, but not for long.
“Do you want the real story?” I replied, staring straight his eyes. “I’m pretty sure you don’t. You keep out of these things for a reason.” He nodded at that. “The separation with Paul, the selection of the successful tender bid, they all came before I had anything to do with the guys. Paul was unfaithful.” My lips thinned. “I think he has been for some time. But when I found out, I left him. He was abusive and the guys helped me out. Initially it was to make it seem like I was dating them to keep Paul off my back, but then…”
I let out a sigh and shook my head.
“Beyond that, surely it’s up to me? Everyone involved is a consenting adult. Nothing happens during work hours. As long as they do their job and I do mine, I can’t see how it’s anyone else’s business, right?”
“Yes, well.” This was the first time I’d ever really seen Simmons get this flustered. Impatient, demanding, irritated, yes, but not embarrassed. His cheeks flushed bright pink and he nodded sharply. “As long as you’re making sure that it doesn’t affect your work, then I guess I have no comment to make. The restoration is progressing?”
Always with the eye on the prize, that was my boss. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be made to look a fool in front of the minister.
“At the moment they’re scraping all the paint off the walls. I need to get in contact with Forestry Australia to see if we can get access to the old quarry so they can start working on the roof.”
“Well, see that you do.”
I nodded, obviously dismissed, walking out of his door, cursing a blue streak in my head and needing a damn coffee before I dealt with any more shit this morning.
What the fuck was going on? Paul was treating me with contempt a moment ago or so it seemed, and now he was all contrite, going to my bloody mother and my workmates for help? What the hell had brought that on? I shook my head as I marched back to my office, vowing that I wouldn’t bother thinking about it anymore. We were done. He was done. And as if in answer to my thoughts, I arrived back at my door to find Lars pacing back and forth inside my office.
34
Lars
Keep calm, dickhead, I kept telling myself, right up till Natalie came walking in the door.
“Where the hell did those come from?” I stabbed my finger at the roses dumped into the bin. I’d come up here to see if our girl would let me take her out, but then I’d seen the flowers. “Because it sure as shit wasn’t us.”
She didn’t answer, stopping where she was, then closing the door behind her, her movements slow and stiff. Shit, was I scaring her? I was no better than that fuck… The acrid edge to her scent blasted my nose as she moved towards her desk. “Look, sorry, love, but—”
“Paul,” she said. She sounded so hurt, so resigned I moved towards her, wanting to sweep her up in my arms and… She held out a small card for me to look at. My fingers ached, my whole face feeling numb as I read the damn note, crumpling it in my fist seconds later.
That weaselly little fuck. He wasn’t going to let her go. Of course, he wasn’t. I wouldn’t either if she was mine. My bear was shoving himself against my walls, demanding I go and smash the prick’s head to pieces but… I let out the breath I’d been holding and stepped closer to her.
Her eyes flicked up to me and away again. Wary. I fucking hated that so much, wanting to smooth away the small line that had formed on her forehead, then hold her close and never let her go. But we didn’t have that kind of bond yet. Thorn was a mouthy little fuck and I’d cursed the gods when it had become apparent he was going to be part of my sleuth, but he was good at breaking down barriers and getting under people’s skin. I was half tempted to text him, get him up here, acting the fool, just to make her smile.
But, in reality, I wanted to be the one to do it.
“I…” I grabbed the coffee cup I’d brought up and the bag of pastries. “I brought you some breakfast.”
“But we had breakfast at the B&B,” Natalie said, although the way she eyed the coffee had me hopeful. I pressed it into her hand, wanting to prolong that contact but not willing to push it, not yet.
“That was just to start the day,” I said, putting the bag on her desk. “This will keep you going.”
“So you guys are hobbits, having second breakfast?” she asked with a snort. “Is that why you’ve got the whole ‘born to love only one woman’ quartet thing going on? Because I’ve gotta admit, for a hobbit, you’re bigger than what I expected.”
I forced myself to smile, feeling the pain in my heart each day we delayed telling her.
There weren’t any women bear shifters. We didn’t know why. Wolves were as common as muck and they had male and female members of their packs, but not us. Each sleuth found their fated mate and then went about the treacherous business of introducing her to the fact that we existed. I didn’t know if it was easier back in the States where bears at least were a common thing. But us? Our families told stories around the campfire of the extreme lengths each man had to go to in order to convince his girl that we were real. And not all of those stories had happy endings. But Alaric seemed to think we needed to build a bit of trust with her, first.
Right before we destroyed it.
“Plenty of women say the same thing, love,” I said with a wink, replying to her previous comment, then I waved at the bag. “It’s not two dozen red roses, but—”
“Oh my god…” That groan. If I could get her making that sound over (or under) me, I’d die a lucky man. “You got me chocolate croissants? And cronuts?”
“I asked the girl at the bakery what was the most decadent thing they had on the menu and when she suggested a few things, I got one of each.” I shrugged. “You can have them for smoko, or share them.”
She snapped the bag shut and glared at me.
“Yeah, right! These are all mine.”
She cooed at the contents of the damn bag like it was a baby, and while I didn’t understand the sacred relationship between women and sweet things, I was happy she was smiling.
Right before I was about to upset her again.
“About this Paul—”
She put the bag down and then sighed.
“He’s just playing games. Trying to get Mum and Gladys on side.”
“Is that the old duck downstairs? Because she gave me the stink eye when I walked up here.”
“Probably,” she said with a smile, but it was a sad one.
Fuck, this was so damn hard. I wanted to hug her, hold her close, lay waste to her enemies and then kiss everything better, but…
But, what?
I looked my mate over, speculatively, and then walked around her desk. I hated the way she looked at me, like I was an angry dog on the prowl, but that was only half right. I was an angry bear, but at the same time, my mate needed me.
“Hey…”
I barely breathed that out, putting my hands on her shoulders, wincing when I felt her tense, but I’d made a decision and I needed to see it through. I pulled her close, feeling that hot, pulsing bond that came to life any time we touched, and then held her against my chest.
She was stiff at first, like she didn’t know how to be cuddled, soothed. That just made me even bloody angrier, because it meant she’d gotten used to going without. That wouldn’t happen going forward. Our girl was going to get cuddled into oblivion, right up until the point she was feeling smothered and shoved us away.
Only for us to come back for more the moment her guard was down.
For way too long I just stood there, feeling like a prize idiot for even trying this, forcing this poor girl to let me hug her, when… Her breath came out in a big rush and that’s when it happened. She went soft as butter in my arms, her body moulding itself to mine.
Fuck. Yes.
“I don’t even know why he’s doing this.”
I rubbed my hand up and down her spine, loving this moment of quietness, but listening to her every word.
“He didn’t even want me…” My arms tightened as her voice cracked and for a second there was only the sound of her rapid breathing. “He didn’t even want me when he had me.”
“Some blokes are like that,” I said. “A woman is a thing, not a person, and for them something like this becomes a matter of someone else taking their stuff.”
“I’m not ‘stuff’.”
She peered up at me then, her eyes glassy and fierce.
“No, love,” I smoothed my hand over her cheek, loving the way her lashes fluttered slightly at the feel of it. “You’re not. You belong to yourself.” I dared to dart in then, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and her eyes closed in response. “And any man that doesn’t treasure his time with you isn’t worth a second thought. Do you want me to get rid of those flowers for you?”
“Please.”
