Ellis turned away, but Melissa reached out and grasped her wrist, her skin still warm to the touch. “Are you okay?”

  Ellis shrugged. “I have no idea.” She pulled her arm free and went to the front door. She let herself out and was gone.

  Melissa closed her eyes, her body shivering. It was as if Ellis took all the heat from the room with her. Melissa rinsed the glass and made her way upstairs. She checked in on Justin, who was sound asleep, and readied herself for bed. She slipped between the covers and pulled one of her pillows against her body. She didn’t even try to pretend it wasn’t a replacement for Ellis.

  †

  Melissa hadn’t seen or heard from Ellis in three days. She hadn’t expected to. When Ellis had left in the early hours of the morning, despite the darkness in the kitchen, Melissa could see Ellis felt ashamed and embarrassed. Melissa wanted to talk to her, but what would she say? She herself was in turmoil. Her thoughts still weren’t clear on her feelings for Ellis. All she did know was that she wanted to be her friend. But is that an option now? We’re both afraid of seeing each other. Unless we clear the air, we will forever be strangers. That wasn’t a prospect she relished. She liked Ellis. She found her charming and caring. Melissa couldn’t believe anyone would think she would ever do anything to hurt someone. I can’t believe someone brought sexual harassment charges against her. Melissa didn’t know the full story, and only knew Ellis’s side of things, but she couldn’t fathom her doing what the police thought she had. Then again, I never thought Craig would cheat on me. Perhaps I’m rubbish at reading people.

  “Here you go, Mum.”

  Melissa blinked away her ruminations and focused on Justin. He held out a small stack of invitations for his birthday party. “All done?”

  “Yeah. There were a couple of mates I wanted to come but you said only ten. It was hard to choose.”

  Melissa took the stack and leafed through the names. She was surprised when one name caught her attention. She glanced up at Justin. “Ellis?”

  He nodded and smiled. “She’s cool. I also didn’t think it would be nice if we were all over here having fun and she was stuck inside watching.”

  “That’s very sweet of you, but are you sure you wouldn’t prefer one of your friends?”

  “No, I want Ellis.”

  “Okay.” She placed the stack down on the breakfast bar but kept Ellis’s invitation in her hand. Popping over with it would be the perfect excuse to see her. It would hopefully help break through the wall that had sprung up between them. She turned to Justin. “We need to leave in half an hour. Go get your bag packed. I’m just going to go give this to Ellis now.” Her night shift was due to start in an hour and she needed to drop Justin off at her parents on the way. Justin nodded and wandered off. Melissa eyed the invitation again. Just do it. She can hardly be mad at you for doing Justin’s bidding.

  She slipped her trainers on and headed out into the garden. She glanced over the fence. Ellis wasn’t in the conservatory. Melissa went through the gate and up to the door. She knocked and waited. Ellis appeared a few moments later, dressed in black jogging bottoms and a tight long-sleeved polo neck. Melissa dragged her gaze away from the flat planes of Ellis’s stomach to her face. What she saw shocked her. Ellis was the palest Melissa had ever seen her. The circles around her eyes were darker and more pronounced. Melissa was sure she had lost weight. Her cheeks looked gaunt. “Oh my God. Are you okay?”

  Ellis nodded but swayed on her feet.

  Melissa grasped Ellis’s hand and pulled her back into the house. She didn’t stop to look around, despite this being the first time she had been in Ellis’s home. She tugged her through to the lounge and pushed her onto the couch. Ellis fell back with no resistance. Melissa knelt in front of her and cupped her cheeks, noting they were hot to the touch. She checked her eyes and found them somewhat dazed. Melissa held her wrist and began counting beats. Ellis’s pulse was thumping rapidly. Something was wrong. She didn’t need to be a nurse to figure that out. “Ellis?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Melissa shook her head. “You’re not. When did you last eat or drink?”

  Ellis shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

  “That’s not good enough, Ellis. You’re going to kill yourself if you carry on like this.”

  “Sorry.”

  Melissa sighed. “You don’t need to apologise. You do, however, need to come to the hospital with me. You need fluids and we need to check your electrolytes.”

  “I’ll just have some toast.”

  “Ellis, you can barely stand up. You need proper treatment.”

  “I’m fine.”

  Melissa got to her feet, anger coursing through her. If Ellis thought, for one minute, she was going to leave her here like this, she needed a brain scan. “You’re coming with me.” She was that worried about Ellis that she would call her mum to collect Justin. She didn’t want Ellis to have to wait longer than she needed for treatment. “I’m going next door to get my things and call my mum. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

  “Melissa, honestly, I’ll be okay.” Even as she said the words, her head lolled to the side.

  Melissa went back to her knees. She cupped her cheek again, but this time as someone who cared about Ellis and not as a nurse. She gazed into her eyes. “I don’t know why you’re fighting me on this. Please, Ellis. Please come with me.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re sick. You need help.” She softened her voice. “Let me help you.”

  Ellis stared at her for a long moment before finally nodding. “Okay.”

  “Good.” Melissa smiled and stood. “I’ll be as quick as I can.” Melissa rushed back home and called her mum, then explained to Justin he was to wait there until his grandmother came to get him.

  “What’s wrong with her?” he asked.

  “She just has a bug that needs treating.”

  “If it’s just a bug, then why do you look so scared?”

  Melissa tried to relax her features, knowing her panic was worrying him more than he needed to be. It was hard. All she wanted to do was to get back to Ellis. “I promise, buddy, she’s going to be fine, but she needs a few tests. It’s just quicker if I take her.”

  “Okay.”

  Melissa grabbed her bag and keys and hastened back to Ellis’s. Ellis was in the same position as before. Her eyes closed. I wonder how long she’s been like this. Melissa feared it stemmed from their talk the other night. She berated herself for not coming over sooner.

  “Ellis?” Ellis opened her eyes, but her gaze was unseeing. “We need to go.” Melissa helped her stand and led her to the door. She scooped up Ellis’s keys and headed out. Ellis was unsteady on her feet, and Melissa struggled to keep them both upright. Thankfully, her car wasn’t far away. She managed to get them there without a disaster. Within seconds, Melissa was speeding toward the hospital.

  Chapter Nine

  “How is she doing?” Melissa asked Bernice, another nurse on shift.

  “She’s asleep. We’ve got the fluids on rapid, and we’re still waiting for the blood tests to come back. Her heartbeat still isn’t settling, and she’s twitching a lot.”

  Melissa gazed over at Ellis in the far bay of the emergency ward. Tubes ran into her arm and hand. A pulse metre was clipped to her finger, and leads from the heart monitor disappeared under her gown. She looked so vulnerable, that Melissa nearly fainted from the sight. She was used to seeing Ellis being strong and authoritative, not this weakened version of herself. A question had been rattling around Melissa’s mind for the past few weeks. She turned her attention back to Bernice. “Do you think she has an eating disorder?”

  “You don’t need me to answer that.”

  “No, I don’t.” Melissa had been a nurse long enough to spot the signs. If she didn’t have one now, it wouldn’t be long until she did. “I know work stresses her out, and she forgets to eat. I’ve never seen her like this, though.”

  Bernice squeezed Melissa’s arm. “The results will be back soon. I’ll find you when they get here.”

  “Thank you.” Melissa smiled and made her way over to Ellis. Without thinking, she took Ellis’s hand in her own, interlacing their fingers. She brushed back a loose strand of hair with the other.

  Ellis stirred, her hand tensing in Melissa’s. Her eyes fluttered open. “Hi.” Her voice was raspy, but strong.

  “Hey. How’re you feeling?”

  “Not great.”

  Melissa smiled softly. “I’m not surprised.” She reached into her pocket and pulled Justin’s invitation out. She passed it over. Ellis smiled when she saw what it was. “He picked you over his friends.”

  “He’s a sweet kid. You’ve raised a good one there.” Ellis held the paper to her chest, above her heart.

  “Can I tell him you’ll be coming?” Ellis eyed Melissa carefully, and Melissa knew she understood what the question really was. Will you do what you must to get better?

  Ellis nodded.

  “Good. We will both be delighted for your presence.”

  Ellis’s eyes slipped closed. The heart monitor beeped wildly for a few seconds before settling back to a more normal rhythm, albeit slightly fast. “I think I need help, Melissa. I’m not coping so well right now.”

  “I know. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

  “Thank you.”

  Ellis drifted off, and Melissa moved away. Her break was over, and she needed to get back to work. The good thing was, being a nurse in the emergency department meant she could keep an eye on Ellis. Whatever was going on with Ellis had been plaguing her for some time. Melissa figured it had started with the allegations against her. In the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but think that she had made the situation worse. Ellis had lost a significant amount of weight in the few months Melissa had known her, and the last two weeks had stressed Ellis out even more. In the face of what Ellis was struggling with now, Melissa couldn’t help but think that moving in next door had been a mistake. She seemed to be doing all right until I came along. She might not have been a hundred percent, but at least she wasn’t in the hospital on a drip. I need to help her, but maybe the best thing I can do is leave her alone. Melissa glanced up from the patient she was seeing to. Ellis was watching her and smiled. Melissa smiled back. She couldn’t leave her alone even if she wanted to. I won’t abandon you like everyone else has.

  †

  “Ellis?”

  Ellis opened her eyes and looked up at Lucy. It took her a moment to remember where she was. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m your next of kin, remember?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Having no family, Lucy had suggested Ellis use her in case there was a problem. Ellis regretted that decision now. She hadn’t wanted Lucy to find out she had failed and put herself into the hospital. She had planned to mention it over their next appointment, as if it wasn’t a big deal. Having her here now scuppered that idea. “They didn’t need to call you.”

  “I’m glad they did.” Lucy pulled a plastic chair over and sat. “Have the doctors talked to you?”

  “Yeah. My electrolytes were off due to lack of food.” Ellis hadn’t known that could happen from not eating for a couple of days. She got so consumed with work, and trying to shut down her thoughts, that hunger hadn’t registered. This had never happened before, not even during the stress of dealing with the police and Stacy. It was a stark warning of where she was heading if she didn’t sort herself out. The hospital psychiatrist had spoken to her, not long ago. It took all of Ellis’s persuasion not to have him admit her for monitoring. They were all concerned she had an eating disorder. She didn’t, that she was sure of.

  “I’m sorry, Ellis. I’ve failed you.”

  “No, you haven’t.”

  Lucy sighed, her eyes darkening. “I’ve been treating you for close to two years, and you’re worse off now than when we started.”

  “It’s not your responsibility to heal me. You’ve given me all the help I need. It’s my fault if I didn’t follow your advice.” Ellis only blamed herself. She’d made the right noises, said the right things, but hadn’t taken Lucy’s help to heart. She thought she could do it all on her own. How wrong was I? I need to take this seriously and get proper help dealing with my issues.

  “And why haven’t you followed my advice?”

  Ellis shrugged and gave the question some thought. Being alone with no friends and family had robbed her of any self-worth. She didn’t trust anymore. Her only positives were her client base and the work she did. It had taken a while to build up the business, and she couldn’t be prouder of that aspect of her life. It’s a shame the rest of it sucks. She looked at Lucy. “I guess I don’t think I’m worth it.”

  “So, gradually killing yourself is your plan.”

  It wasn’t like that. “It’s not like I’ve sat there and thought about it. I just get so caught up working all hours; I forget to eat.”

  “We discussed setting an alarm.”

  “I forgot.”

  Lucy briefly closed her eyes, her frustration clear. “Ellis, they think you have an eating disorder. I’m inclined to agree with them.”

  “I don’t, I swear. I have no problems eating when I do.” She didn’t fear food. She enjoyed most things, but when it came to working, everything else fell away. Including her health.

  “So, what are you going to do?”

  Something I never thought I would. “I thought, maybe, finish up the projects I’m doing now, then take the summer off to work on myself.” She was close to completing the three projects she was working on. Now would usually be the time she would contact previous clients and scout for new business. The thought of not doing that turned her stomach. She had worked hard to build her success. She didn’t want it to all go away if she took time off. Ellis didn’t have a choice, though. Her body was screaming at her to fix herself. She needed intense therapy and she couldn’t do that if she worked fifteen hours or more a day. “I don’t want to die, Lucy. I just need a break.”

  “If you stop working, you’ll have nothing to distract yourself. You’ll have to deal with everything in your past.”

  Ellis looked away and caught sight of Melissa bending over a patient, checking his chest with her stethoscope. Things between them had been off the last few weeks. Telling her about her past had exhausted Ellis. She felt ashamed for letting things get so out of hand with Stacy. She didn’t want that to happen with Melissa. Ellis had been embarrassed Melissa knew she had a crush on her, but Melissa had told her it was okay. Ellis didn’t know if she was being honest, but she had no choice but to believe her. Ellis needed to get back on track. She wanted to be in Melissa’s life, in whatever way that would be. I’ve finally found a friend. I don’t want to give that up. She turned her attention back to Lucy. “I know, but it’s time. I want my life back.”

  “Okay. I can make room for you in my schedule. We can do as many appointments as you need. I would like some of them to be in person. And I don’t mean me coming to you.”

  “Okay. Thank you.” Ellis wasn’t thrilled she was being made to venture out to Lucy’s office, but she understood it was part of her healing.

  “You’re welcome. I’ll leave you to your rest.” Lucy stood and squeezed Ellis’s shoulder. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”

  “All right.”

  Ellis watched her go, then closed her eyes. She had been in A&E for nearly seven hours. They had run all kinds of tests on her, including a heart and liver scan. Thankfully, everything came back normal, aside from the electrolytes. Ellis knew, with proper nutrition, this wouldn’t happen again. I can’t believe how bad things have gotten. What would have happened had Melissa not come over? I need to thank her properly.

  “How are you feeling?”

  Ellis’s eyes popped open. Melissa stood before her, worry showing in her gaze. Ellis hated that she was the reason for that concern. “Much better. Thank you for helping me.”

  Melissa waved her off. “No thanks needed. Just don’t do it again.”

  “I won’t.” Ellis took a breath. “I assume you know what’s wrong?”

  “Yes. Nothing that regular eating won’t cure.”

  “You just missed Lucy. I’m going to take some time off work and sort myself out.”

  “It’s none of my business, but can you afford to do that?”

  “Yeah. The house is paid for, and my savings are in good shape. I don’t do anything, remember?” She grinned.

  Melissa smiled back. “Oh yes. A hermit is how you described yourself.” Melissa grasped Ellis’s forearm. “I was really worried about you.”

  “I’m sorry, Melissa. That’s the last thing I wanted.”

  “Ellis…”

  “What?” Ellis felt her heart speed up from the intense look Melissa was giving her.

  Melissa sighed and withdrew her hand. “It doesn’t matter. When are you being discharged?”

  “In the next hour or so, I think.”

  “Okay. I’ll speak to my supervisor and take you home.”

  “You don’t need to do that. I can get a taxi.”

  “No. I’ll take you.”

  “Thank you.”

  Forty minutes later, the doctor said she could go. Ellis rushed to dress, wanting to get out of there before they changed their minds and made her stay. She made her way to the emergency room reception and took a seat, so she could wait for Melissa. She stared off into the distance, drumming her fingers on her thighs, her mind going over what needed to be done on her projects.

  †

  Ellis entered the front door of her house. She strode across the living room and into the conservatory, where she woke her computer and connected to the internet.

  “What are you doing?” Melissa asked from her place in the lounge.

  Ellis glanced over her shoulder. Melissa stood with her hands on her hips. “Checking my email.”

  “Ellis, you’ve just walked through the door.”

 

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