The vampire book two, p.3
The Vampire Book Two, page 3
“Based loosely on what he has told me, yes I do believe so. And your input may shed even more light on that. That is one of the reasons I’m calling. You mentioned...that he was not fully responding to you during that incident and I find that disturbing. He has done something like that before. Of course he did come around, but for a while there his responses, or lack of them as you described, is still troubling.”
“It seemed such a painful thing for him,” Jason replied, “just to be at that location, recalling all those details. It seemed to me he was not just remembering but was actually reliving that entire experience. I’ve gotten the impression that sometimes just being in New Orleans can be painful for him.”
“Actually though, he generally prefers to be in New Orleans. Though he is not always physically comfortable here—you probably know this already—his energy field and the sun and intense heat are not a good combination. He always prefers cooler temperatures. Yet if anything, he is almost perversely attached to this city. I still cannot quite figure out why exactly, what draws him back here. No matter how long he has lived elsewhere, this is always home to him. I suppose only he knows the reasons for that. I do know of people who have visited New Orleans and found that the city became part of who they are. I suppose that could apply to him as well.”
“Apparently he didn’t always feel that way though. From what he told me, he once couldn’t wait to get away from America; he didn’t want any part of it. He found the heat and strangeness of New Orleans too much for him. But then—I guess maybe he didn’t have a choice... You have heard his story, Mr. Genier—what do you think about what happened to him? About what actually caused him to become what he is? It doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard of before. Certainly not what folklore, science, or even urban mythology would have us believe about the existence of vampires.”
“There doesn’t seem to be any logical or natural explanation. It seems beyond under- standing. You have some experience with strange phenomena, Jason—I thought perhaps you might offer your opinion. To me it seems it was just a bizarre, random attack, by some unknown force or some unearthly presence, one that lasted just a few minutes, and then forever changed him. What it truly was I couldn’t begin to say but I do have some theories.”
“I could do some research on this, but honestly I have no clue either what that was. I can’t recall having heard of anything like he described before in any of the paranormal research I have read.”
“If you do learn anything, I really do want to know... I did suggest to him once that perhaps it could have been something like a lightning strike—ball lightning, perhaps. He could have misinterpreted what he saw and experienced, maybe after the fact. Some people have experienced unusual physical changes after such things have happened to them. There are movies and books that do describe such strange cases. Though there is hardly anything to suggest one could become Vampire from such an occurrence and that theory seems somewhat far-fetched in his case, how much stranger is it than what actually did happen to him? But he has always insisted that it was a sentient being. One that possessed an intense energy according to him. A powerful strength that felt physical and overpowering despite the being’s appearance. He sensed specific emotions and intent emanating from it...I just don’t know what to think. And then, to become Vampire as a result of that contact... Whenever he really exasperates me or becomes difficult to manage—I just try to remember what he has been through, especially that transformation. How horrific it had to have been for him to experience this. Whatever it was, there seems to be nothing he could have done to protect himself or any way he could have avoided it. As a result of that alteration he has experienced a lot of losses and tragedy. Sometimes the things he has told me are just heart-wrenching to hear. Occasionally I get glimpses into how he views himself and his circumstances.
“But it is impossible to put ourselves in his place, and to know what it is really like to be him; what he really thinks and feels, and exactly how he views the world and all of us. He never wanted this and he cannot escape it. Still I believe that doesn’t mean he does not relish some aspects of his existence now. He tries to cope and make the best of his situation. Often it seems to me he just wants peace in his life and to just be left alone. I push him sometimes to get more meaning in his life or more enjoyment at least. And I guess I do tend to forgive a lot, when it comes to some of his behaviors. Not all, but some.”
“And I’m still learning about him of course; I really do want to understand him.” Jason paused. “He seems more willing to tell me about himself now. A little at a time I feel like I am finally getting to know him better.”
“He will sometimes open up when he begins to feel more comfortable and trusting, not that there is ever a guarantee of that. And that is a long process if it happens at all.”
Jason spent nearly an hour on the phone with James talking about that night near the old plantation site. He shared as many details as he could remember. James wanted to record the details for the family’s Archives. Jason was even able to recall some of the French words that Augere had spoken, and then in passing he again mentioned the tarot card reader, and that she had spoken some French phrases, not all of which Jason could understand. James asked for more detail about that encounter with her as well, and Jason supplied what he recalled then asked James what he thought it all meant. James’s reply felt vague to him, as though he knew more than he was willing to share. More mystery here, Jason thought.
Alone in his quarters that night, Jason mulled over the newly acquired information. Who knew how many people Augere had actually killed, over how many decades? When this thing had happened to him, it had mystified and horrified Augere as much as it would have anyone. A painful shock to him: to suddenly be forced to become someone, something, else. And then to have to kill—maybe not just animals but people as well...and not by his own will to do so.
He has been trying to cope with this for better than 200 years. If any would judge him, it would be for his choice to kill humans, if he really did not need to do so to survive.
It was a totally inappropriate comparison, and Jason knew it was a foolish analogy, but it made him think of his own choices and his decision to try living more of a vegetarian life style. There were some things about that he was comfortable with and some things he was not.
“If I lived in different times...and if I had to go out hunting and help bring down a wooly mammoth, I’m sure I would not have said afterwards: “no thanks, I think I’ll just have a salad.” He laughed. Humans have evolved and there are many more choices now. It is difficult for me to accept eating any sentient creature. And yet, I do so more often than I am comfortable with. But what was this choice like for Augere? Was the blood of human and animal interchangeable for him? It must be. Did it just come down to making a choice then? Did he really have a choice? But if he could not be destroyed... what happens then if he doesn’t have blood? And did he really need to kill humans if animals could serve the same purpose for him? “And more significantly—how much is it going to matter to me, if Augere routinely chose to kill people, when he did not need to do so, if he could subsist wholly on animals—to survive?” The thought of that made him unexpectedly uncomfortable. This was no longer just an academic, or abstract curiosity now, not merely a casual glimpse into the vampire realm and the fascination that realm held. The focus now shifted to the lives of strangers, individuals who would become his victims. Perhaps on a very regular basis.
Once again, Jason had to consider that the city of Boston wasn’t suddenly experiencing a staggering number of drained human corpses on a daily basis. That seemed to speak against Augere killing humans wantonly. He thought he might consult Terrance further on this; the subject of Augere killing had already come up before. But now it would be viewed in the light of more recent information. “And,” Jason thought, “how disturbing is it to even have to have such a discussion.”
There was no doubt that some of the horrors Augere had revealed were made a little easier to hear when delivered in that soft sensuous voice; somehow a little less disturbing when spoken with the charm of his slight accent. Or, maybe I am already becoming more immune to the very dark aspect of all of this, Jason sighed. Was he already becoming numb to the horror and reality of this? Already comfortably accepting that Augere had probably caused the deaths of a great many people?
One evening after the two had watched the film South Pacific, which had been prompted by Jason’s ongoing fascination with French Polynesia, both were enjoying a taste of Augere’s rare and expensive absinthe in the library. After discussing the film briefly, Jason as usual, was ready to move onto other topics, one of his favorite topics being all things Augere and his history.
“I’ve seen you drink different things,” Jason stated, tilting his glass slightly toward Augere’s own. “So—you are able to drink—all liquids?—and most of the beverages don’t bother you—but then, you don’t ever eat anything.” Jason recalled Terrance making mention of Augere’s limits.
“I can tolerate some liquids more than others. But there is no loss of desire for drink nor food. Nor sleep for that matter. Nor for all that I once enjoyed...before.”
Augere seemed to take in Jason’s puzzled expression.
“I don’t understand what you mean exactly.” Jason attempted to elicit clarification.
Augere gave him an indulgent look. He took a long sip of the absinthe.
“It is...part...of what I have come to refer to as the ironic perversity of my existence.”
Jason shook his head once. He still didn’t understand.
“As example, part of my mind remains alert and attentive at all times; ever constant and vigilant—for danger that never comes. Nothing can ever cause true harm to me therefore there is no reason for such constant watchful attention.
“I am capable of great strength, speed and agility; I could easily evade detection—or simply remove myself—if there was ever a need to, or to overtake, just as easily. Even so, I rarely need to make use of any of these abilities. My energy field can subdue and immobilize quite efficiently.”
Augere paused and visibly savored a fresh sip of absinthe. He appeared to breathe in the faint aroma of the beverage for a moment. A thoughtful expression seemed to come over his features.
“Humans need to be able to smell food in order to taste it—there is not the one without the other. All of my senses are individually enhanced and I can isolate any that I desire in order to experience more fully the scent of the flower, or the view of it, or the texture of the flower’s petals. Or I may more deeply experience all that the senses offer all together, by my will to do so. Musical notes or sounds can be singled out; the subtleties and depths of a particular color can be visibly experienced; the individual notes of a fragrance can be savored separately and then all at once; the texture and feel of any fabric or surface are fully experienced as extremely sensuous pleasure; and all manner of physical pleasure is immeasurably more intense. Much enjoyment—exquisite enjoyment—may be derived from all that these heightened senses present to me. Adversely, anything of an unpleasant nature could be more dramatically so.
“But of any pleasurable flavor or aroma or texture of food that my mind and senses might welcome with strong desire and find enticing to consume, or anything sensuously inviting to touch and enjoy among such food or beverage—my body chooses to reject. The craving is for only one taste; one aroma, one texture, one sensation above all others.”
Jason thought he must have misunderstood. It couldn’t be what it sounded like. That would be too horrible to contemplate.
“Are you saying that—-you still have a normal desire for food—like you once did—but your body doesn’t need or want it—so you cannot eat?”
“Essentially, yes. I am able to do so, but there are very unpleasant consequences. The pleasure is short-lived. I become ...ill, in a sense, though not ill as you might define it. So, though still having the desire for all such eating pleasures, I must avoid that which my body will not tolerate.”
Jason was appalled to hear this. He heard Augere saying he had to deny himself all of it—everything...though he still desired all the things he had enjoyed before he was changed.
“Your body only needs—and only wants—just blood now? But you do have an intense desire for that—that substance too, right?” Jason wanted to clarify.
Augere sighed. “It is both far greater, and far less, than desire. I must have the experience of it. There is...a unique gratification, one that is more than physical, or sexual, or mentally satisfying in the pleasure of it.” He regarded Jason for several moments. “I do not expect you to understand. This still does not take the place of all other things. Nor does it remove desire for all else. It is wholly unique in itself though I may still enjoy other...pleasures.”
“But then—because it has its own—unique texture, aroma, taste—I guess—that is what you really have a desire for, right?”
“Books and movies and television have told you this—correct?”
Jason made no reply other than to quickly lower his gaze.
“I dislike the aroma, and the taste even more. Rust and salt. And too soon the texture becomes thick and cloying. It grows cold too quickly. Loathsome.”
Jason stared at him, uncomprehending.
Augere regarded him silently for several moments. “Suppose you were limited to one source of nourishment, and one only, every day for the rest of your existence. That is the choice I am left with.”
“But then—where is the gratification, the pleasure...?” Boldness replaced caution and reluctance; he had to know the answer.
“The pleasure comes in the quick hot rush of it, as it overtakes my senses. The insistent rhythm of it, suddenly cresting and totally unstoppable as I acquire a fullness of it, aware that even as it comes to me in warm strong waves, aching with the pleasurable sensations this provides, I am still surprised by a sudden rise in intensity before it subsides. And so the rush of it must be savored quickly, fully and all at once, as an all-consuming experience, before it comes to an abrupt end, stopping suddenly, at the point of death. In those moments it is all-encompassing, and one is truly lost fully in the momentary pleasure of it. And then, one would do anything, whatever is necessary, to repeat that experience once again.”
Jason exhaled slowly. “...Okay...”
They both sipped at their glasses of absinthe. Silence fell between them for a lengthy interval.
“My mind becomes weary...” Augere continued in his soft voice. “There is much that is tedious and mentally exhausting to me...in your world...” He glanced up at Jason. “All creatures must rest. Yet my mind will not allow true repose.”
Jason listened intently but was still not quite understanding.
“I do not experience physical fatigue. But then I rarely do that which requires much exertion. I think perhaps I am rather lazy by nature...” Here he gave Jason a small smile. Then his expression became serious again.
“I need to be able to still my mind; to be able to experience quiet, peace and calm. I need to refresh and restore my mood. Much as anyone—any of you—requires this. Often I need to escape from the world and, at times, from my own thoughts.
“I have learned over much time to achieve a deep reverie... James has called this ‘meditation.’ I feel it is much more than that. It provides true escape. It allows me to obtain a calmness of mind. I can return to other places and times where there has been peace and comfort. While part of my mind remains alert and attentive to all present circumstances, I can simultaneously be elsewhere, and both experiences are equally real to me. For the most part.”
He looked at Jason intently for several moments.
“I do not think this is unique to me. I believe that you and others are able to do so as well with concentration.” He paused and a sad expression seemed to settle over his features. “Truly, that is all I may look to for any peace.”
This sentence was said so softly, and with such a measure of sadness that Jason wasn’t sure he was meant to hear it, as though he had unwittingly intruded on a private thought.
When Augere seemed lost for several moments in contemplation and did not continue, Jason had to ask: “Are you saying that you do not sleep?” That can’t be right.
Augere breathed a deep sigh. It was several moments more before he responded.
“To sleep.” Once more the words were uttered softly, and now wistfully, and almost reverently. He sighed deeply again.
“To be completely enfolded in total darkness. To fall deeply and fully into that voluptuous oblivion and to be blissfully unaware of everything...to experience a total absence of thought or feeling or care...” He sighed. “...all of that was taken from me.”
This was unthinkable to Jason. Augere was not able to sleep? That would be horrible. The gift of sleep was one that Jason sometimes took too much for granted. The reward and pleasure waiting at the end of the day—-this was denied to Augere? How welcome sleep had been to Jason, so many times. And during all this time he had been with Augere, he did not know that this was Augere’s reality. For several moments they were each lost in their own thoughts until Augere spoke again.
“ ‘Sleep...those little slices of death’...a quote attributed to Poe, I believe. ‘How I loathe it,’ I believe the quote continues. But I would welcome that. I would do whatever I could to experience those ‘little slices of death’ once more.”
Jason nodded. It seemed appropriate that Augere would echo Poe, who certainly had been well acquainted with sorrow himself. Jason had been about to make reference to how much he and Carrie enjoyed the works of Poe. But he was not ready to bring up the subject of Carrie now, maybe not ever, fearing renewed tension between him and Augere would be likely. Things had been going well. Couldn’t this welcome moment last a little longer? Leave Carrie out of this. But he did express how much he himself really liked Poe.
