Breathless georgia vol 2, p.24
Breathless, Georgia--Vol 2, page 24
She read through the email a second time. “It’s time to pick a date and reserve your room for your defense. You should know that these rooms get very busy toward the end of the summer as do your professors, since everyone pushes it to the last minute. I think given your previous work, and your desire to have a happy defense committee that you should plan this for June. I’m confident you can be ready then. And—if you can do it—your early defense will make room for us to handle other students who push things to the last minute and procrastinate.”
Emma Kate felt her mouth hanging open.
He wanted her to defend her thesis at the beginning of the summer. Once the professors all signed off on it, it would be the equivalent of having her degree. She would officially graduate in August, though she wouldn’t be able to walk at a graduation ceremony until December. She could basically graduate in June!
She immediately wrote to the department secretary and asked about scheduling her room.
53
Emma Kate was proud of what she was getting accomplished, even if she was lonely. She'd worked hard to get here—even if it was without her husband.
Her thesis advisor was now pushing her to work even faster. Because she was living with Bailey Ann and Finn, it was not only possible, it was easy to not take on an extra job yet. That meant she had a part-time job’s worth of hours in the week to work on her thesis. She put in every extra minute.
Emma Kate was sending in new sections and updates to Dr. Beeman, her main advisor, every few days. So not only was her thesis moving quickly, it was keeping her mind off of Keith.
When it did wander back to him, her brain trailed in a predictable pattern. How was the office without her? Probably fine, to be fair. How was Keith doing? Probably not eating as well. She wouldn’t even entertain the idea that he was dating. He wouldn’t. She’d received no papers that dissolved their marriage. He was hanging in limbo like she was. And lastly, how were the kittens? Star and Lucky should be ready to head off to their forever homes any day now—if they weren’t already past that age.
Emma Kate had reached out via email asking him how he wanted to handle that. Because she'd been vetting various emails and requests to adopt one or either of the kittens from her online viewers, she was hoping she could make a video of the kittens heading off. But she needed Keith’s input.
After several days when he hadn't responded, she began to wonder if he ever would. If she wasn't depressed about everything in her personal life, the kitten adoption would have been a great motivator. Professionally, student-wise, and sister-wise, she was making great strides forward.
She’d finished the trim in the baby’s room herself while her sister was out at work. The stencils were fantastic, and Bailey Ann had turned to Em to figure out the best pattern and what color of paint would show the best.
Em had also assembled the new crib. She’d found it in the box, where Finn had pulled it inside and pushed it into the baby’s room for later.
When Bailey Ann and Finn were home, she ate dinner with them, but mostly tried to stay out of their hair. So she worked on her thesis while they watched TV in the rec room. Or she found a project. Finn had come home and found the crib about two hours later. Though he thanked her a too-massive number of times, she’d only smiled. Em knew they were worried about her and she tried to smile genuinely as much as possible.
She’d also spent her own money buying a gliding rocking chair and setting it into the corner of the baby’s room with a huge bow on it. Em had left it there. It only took Bailey Ann five minutes upon arriving home to walk into the room and discover it. When she heard the squeal of delight, Emma Kate gave herself a genuine smile, even though there was no one in the room to see it.
Checking a lot of boxes on her to-do list felt good. While she was proud of those accomplishments, it was hard to count her life in the plus column. Everything still felt a little flat.
Melanie’s voice reached across the room. “So when you head out to LA to defend your thesis, what’s that like? Is it a full thesis? Did you have to do research and gather data?”
Em smiled at her boss’s sudden enthusiasm. She wasn’t thrilled to be asking for an extra chunk of time off, especially after she’d just had medical leave and had only been on the job a few months.
“Actually,” she replied, “they call it a thesis, but only because it’s for a bachelor program. If this was for an advanced degree, it would be considered more of a ‘capstone’.”
She took a breath, and when Melanie still looked interested, Em continued. “There's a lot of research I’ve had to do, but it’s not data collection. More the information-gathering kind. So I have new ideas, but I’m supporting them with other people's research, rather than performing my own experiments and running any statistical analysis. That's what's made this fast enough to get me through this month.”
She shrugged. “It's why I didn't worry as much when I left school.”
Melanie tipped her head and brought out another question. “So you’re able to do the thesis now, even though you’re in Georgia and not L.A.?”
“Technically, no,” Emma Kate answered, “I have to be an enrolled student in order to defend. So I'm having to pay for a short summer term of tuition. That allows my professors to advise me and sit in the room while I defend the thesis.”
“So, you’re paying for a term you aren’t really attending, except via email?” Melanie asked, catching on. “That sucks.”
“True. But that's the way it's always been.”
“Why are you paying it? I mean, you have a job here. And you’re not getting classes or anything.”
Emma Kate had wondered that herself, but she knew the answer now. “I have to finish. I need my degree. I did too much and got too close to quit now.”
“Are you leaving me?”
The question made Em’s head snap up. So that’s what had brought on this conversation! She shook her head. “I love working for you. I have no intention of leaving this job. I just wish you could give me more hours.” She shouldn’t have said that last part… oops.
“Maybe in the summer. Once we get you with more experience under your belt, we can expand the business. I can take a real vacation.”
Em smiled. A real one. That kind of trust felt good. She steered the conversation back to school, now that she had a better idea where she stood. “Well, I knew that going in—that I would have to do this. And the upside is that a half summer term is much cheaper than spring quarter.”
“Will you go back for graduation?” Melanie asked and Emma Kate wound up explaining the issues that graduates only walked in December and June.
“But I'll be done. I'll have my degree in hand when the term ends in the middle of August. Technically, I can get what's called a W A D—a ‘work all done’ form, and that will make me a graduate in barely another three weeks… provided my committee approves my thesis.” She shrugged at the last part, nerves still getting the best of her.
“I can't imagine they wouldn't.” Melanie smiled. “And just so you know, I give raises for education. You’ll get your raise when that W A D form comes in.”
“Wow, you don’t have to…” Then Emma Kate swallowed that back and changed her answer to “Thank you.” The warm feeling in her chest still didn’t radiate quite all the way to the edges.
Her world was a little bit dimmer without Keith in it. Pulling out her phone, she checked her email again to see if he had replied about the kittens. Still nothing.
She couldn't blame him. He hadn't been the one to fuck things up. That had been her, and she couldn’t fix it. Not yet. First, she was going to get this thesis done.
The next thing on her checklist was getting her husband back.
54
Keith set his bowl of Ramen noodles on the table and moved his hand to wave away two kittens who dove for his food. “You’ve got your own coming. Wait a sec.”
His voice was met by tiny mews. They’d gotten louder over the past few weeks, but no less adorable. He was glad his voice wasn’t the only sound in the house besides the TV.
Star and Lucky sat back for only a moment. Just long enough for him to put out two little bowls of wet kitten food now mixed with hard kibble. A tiny water dish sat next to each place—another remnant of Emma Kate. Though she would likely have not let them sit on the table like he did.
They were too tiny still to sit in the chairs. They wouldn’t even be able to peek over the surface, let alone be able to reach their food. He’d taken to eating with them this past week as their schedule moved to fewer, but bigger, feedings each day. So each kitten sat at their own place, a woven place mat defining their spot. It had only been a few days, but they knew where their food showed up.
The place mats had been another beautiful piece of home Emma Kate had left behind. He wondered if she was coming back for all her things. If she would strip the house bare and leave it as gray and lonely as he felt on the inside.
There were four place settings, one on each side of the small, oval table. He used one for himself and his Ramen and one for each kitten. The empty space taunted him, reminding him that he'd made a mistake walking away so firmly. He’d been angry and hurt and he’d lashed out. Hard. Looking back, maybe he should have thought through the ramifications first.
Emma Kate had been emailing him and asking about adopting the kittens out. She was right, it was time. She'd sent him five different applications and asked him to pick two—one for each kitten. She’d even asked if he wanted to match the kitten to the home. She didn’t say, “because you clearly know their personalities now better than I do.”
Her note—though bordering on professional—put a lot of trust in him. It also put most of the responsibility on her. She volunteered to pick up the kittens, asked what date he wanted that done, and commented that some of the distances would be several hours away to deliver the kittens to their new homes. She would gladly do the driving. She said she hoped to send them each in a separate direction, making two families happy, and noting that she remembered that he told her kittens didn't need to stay together. They might be happier each having their own family giving them individual attention.
He would miss them, he knew, and he wondered what he would do when there were three empty seats at the table. It was more than a little possible that was the reason he hadn't yet emailed her back, though he told himself it was because he was still looking through the applications. When he wasn't lying to himself, he admitted it was because he hadn't yet figured out how to use this conversation to open another one.
He desperately needed to talk to her. He needed her back in his life. But he didn't know how to make that happen. While he thought he could get her back, get her living here in the tiny house with him, it wouldn’t be what he needed if things weren’t different this time around. If she couldn't be honest with everyone around her about him, then they would just end up in the same place again.
He was torn.
He’d figured it would get easier living without her—the longer she was gone, the less it would hurt. But that was not what was happening. Maybe it was simply because she was Emma Kate, maybe it wasn’t because he loved her so much, but because of what she did. She'd come in here and swept her hands like a sexy Mary Poppins and changed everything around her for the better. She’d literally turned the black and while tones of the house to color. And he didn't realize it when he'd walked away at the hospital, but when she left the house—and him—she’d left a hole no one else could fill.
He was halfway through his Ramen, the kittens licking the bottoms of their bowls clean, when the knock came at the door.
Frowning at first, he smiled when he realized it could be Emma Kate. Keith jumped up, the frown disappearing as he threw the door wide.
Though it was a Mayfair, it wasn't Emma Kate. Bailey Ann stood on his doorstep and he could see where Emma Kate had gotten her class. Her sister was wearing a cut blazer with her maternity jeans and even heels. This was definitely a Mayfair thing.
Merely raising one eyebrow, she asked if she could come in without asking a single word. Holding the door back, he waved his hand, welcoming her. “Bailey Ann. It's nice to see you again. Come on in.”
The smile that lit up her face reminded him of her little sister and his chest squeezed as he wondered what Emma Kate had told her family about their breakup. He just wondered how that story had gone. Was he the villain? Was Em? Maybe she said it was fate keeping them apart. He had no idea what the woman sitting in front of him thought of him, and he didn’t like that.
Bailey Ann Mayfair proceeded to slide out of her jacket and tossed it over one arm. Still holding onto her things—indicating she didn’t intend to stay long—she sat down on the couch, running a hand along the blanket that was stitched into the beautiful slip-cover. She probably recognized her sister’s work, but she only admired it a moment before she looked up at him.
“I know things about my sister and you,” she said, making him very nervous. “I know how she feels about you. And I know what her regrets are, but they aren't mine to tell. So I can only tell you that I know, and that I’m making my decisions accordingly.”
That, Keith thought, he could understand. Though he wanted to know everything Bailey Ann knew, he couldn't ask her. She was telling him she knew, but also that she wouldn't break confidence.
Instead, she looked at him and said, “Emma Kate is defending her thesis next week.”
“Oh, wow,” he replied, stunned. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with that information, beside be impressed. Em had done it. That thesis had been the bane of Emma Kate’s existence, something she had put off over and over again. Now it appeared it was almost finished.
“In Los Angeles?” he asked, suddenly calculating how he might get across the country in time to be there.
It seemed, for all of Emma Kate’s ability to take something and transform it, to look ahead and see what might be, it wasn't just something that belonged to his wife. It appeared to be a trait that permeated her whole family.
Bailey Ann nodded. “Yes, in L.A. Our sister Harper Rose and I are going to be there for her. So is her cousin Lennon. We have a hotel room booked. Two nights.”
“That's fantastic,” he breathed the words out, hardly thinking first. He was glad they were going. Emma Kate would enjoy having the support on hand.
Bailey Ann looked him square in the eyes. “Do you want to come?”
He tipped his head asking a question. How? But he said, “I would love to. I'll get a ticket.”
“You don't need to.” Bailey Ann reached into her over-sized purse and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. “I already bought you one. Our flight leaves Tuesday evening. Can you get the time off work?”
“I'll make it happen.” Keith reached out and took the ticket from where she held it out to him, hardly believing it was already done.
“Excellent.” Bailey Ann smiled widely and launched into logistics. She offered a pick-up time so they could get him to the airport. She seemed to already know that he was dealing with his bike and not a car.
“I'll be ready.” He told her this hoping to convey that she could trust him, but she didn’t know him well enough for that.
As she slid back into her jacket to head out the door, Keith stopped her, the ticket still clutched in his hand. “This is a pretty big bet on me. You don't even know me.”
Bailey Ann turned back and looked at him, her expression almost bland. “You’re right. I don't know you well enough to bet this big. But if I can be honest, I'm not betting on you. I can’t imagine my baby sister truly loving a man who didn’t truly love her back. So, no, I’m not betting on you. This,” she tapped the ticket in his hand, “is a bet on my sister.”
55
Emma Kate stood on the small stage next to the large screen showing her PowerPoint seven feet tall. Turning toward the seats, she looked out over the small crowd that had gathered to see her defend her thesis.
Some of the college professors in attendance were hers, some were just there to see the thesis itself. Some of the students were friends of hers, and some were rising seniors there to witness what the torture would be like.
The room had stadium seating, but only the first ten or so rows were full. Stragglers filled random seats alone or in pairs up to the back of the hall. It was more than enough to give her the jitters. She'd stumbled a little at the start of her talk. The remote hadn't wanted to work until she stood in a certain point on the stage. It did this to her even though she had tested it thoroughly before she started. Figured.
She saw her professors—the three that comprised her committee—in the very front row. A table had been pulled up for them and all three were nodding and making furious notes as she went along.
In the back, her two sisters sat alongside Lennon and she looked up at them for comfort every few minutes. They smiled, gave the occasional thumbs up and encouraged her to keep going just by being there. Though she was fine in a social situation, the stage was nerve-wracking and so was the “rest of your life” proclamation that would be handed down at the end of this.
Her professors were basically worthless as far as encouragement went. In fact, she was quite certain from the blank looks on their faces that they were going to fail her as fast and as hard as they could. She reminded herself that it was only the beginning of summer, and she could use the other mini-semester and still make it out in August.
Though he looked glum now, Dr. Beeman had encouraged her all along via email and in their face-to-face talks before she left school back in the winter. It hadn’t been that long ago, though she was a completely different person now. So she reminded herself—as she was clearly failing this presentation—she could still graduate at the end of the summer quarter even if she had to do this again.
