Love now and then, p.15
Love, Now and Then, page 15
“I know what it takes to keep a relationship going,” I answered.
“So you’re taking the moral high ground…”
Thoughts of Todd flashed through my mind. “I didn’t mean that. I just want you to be honest with me…”
We sped on in silence, finally coming to a stop outside my home.
“See you around, sometime,” he said, opening my car door.
“Goodnight…” I murmured.
My head began to ache as I meandered up the path. Never before had he let me go without so much as a kiss…My mother’s pronouncement of a possible engagement flashed through my mind.
What had I done?
CHAPTER 8
I fervently hoped that my parents weren’t up, but this was not to be. As I walked in the door, Mum greeted me.
“Well… How did it go, Amanda… But you’re not looking happy, dear…”
“Oh, the party was okay, but the people – his family – are a bit above me,” I murmured, looking down.
“Don’t say that, dear – there’s nothing wrong with you. I hope you kept your head held high…”
“I did my best, Mum. I tried to fit in.”
“What are they like: his parents?”
“Oh, his dad – Clive – is okay, I guess. His mum – Claudia – oh, she made it pretty plain I wasn’t good enough for her son…”
“And you in that lovely dress, trying hard to please…”
After thinking her last remark over, I bit my lip.
“So, has he made another date with you?” asked Mum.
“No… and it’s the first time…”
“Oh… Well, I’m sorry to see you distressed, Amanda, but if he’s not right for you, it’s better to find out now rather than later…”
Although I sighed, my rational side recognised that she had a point. Yet, no sooner had a trickle of acceptance seeped into my consciousness, than I remembered how close we had been – or so it seemed. Why had Melanie come into our lives?
“Goodnight, Mum – I’m going to bed…” I murmured.
“Would you like some warm milk? Might help you sleep…”
“No – no, thanks…”
As I shut my bedroom door and prepared for bed, my mind refused to let go. I glanced at my watch: ten p.m. If my life hadn’t changed so radically, right now I’d be with Kevin, snuggling ever closer in the moonlight…
CHAPTER 9
As Mum predicted, I found sleep hard to attain, and even when I did nod off I awakened soon after.
Did I blame myself? Did I blame Kevin? Although to me it defied logic, I seemed not to wish to focus on either Melanie or Claudia as the cause of my woes. How could I blame Melanie for finding Kevin attractive? And Claudia – maybe she was right. Maybe someone like Melanie – pretty, sweet-spoken, and part of a successful family – made a better match for her son.
But life goes on, and somehow I needed to perform at work and aim for the weekend. How I needed some time to relax!
And then, there would be Sunday, and a chance to talk things through with Todd. In need of support and reassurance, I clutched at this encounter as a way of getting my life back on track…
* * * *
If I had any doubts about Todd's turning up, they were put to rest the moment I saw his tall, manly figure standing outside the shop.
“Hi, sweetie,” he said, grinning. “Glad you could make it…”
“Thanks… thanks for coming. How was your week?” I started.
“Average, but who’s complaining? More to the point, how was yours?” he said as he started to lead me towards the door.
“Not good, Todd – not good at all…”
“Right – Hmm. I’ve booked the same table as last time…” He proceeded to order two milkshakes, chocolate malt with extra ice-cream, and we made our way to our corner.
“You need cheering up, sweetie,” he said as I looked into his eyes. “Nothing like something cold and sweet to get the endorphins flowing…”
“What are endorphins” I asked.
“Feel-good hormones – I studied science in another life,” he added.
“So, what do you do?”
“For a living… I sell second-hand cars, Monday to Friday.”
“Hasn’t got much in common with science,” I observed.
“Well, you’re right. But they pay me well enough – reckon it’s because I get on with the young drivers looking for a good deal.”
“I can believe that,” I answered, smiling.
“So, what do you do for a crust?” he asked.
“Legal secretary…that’s the glorified term…the reality is that I spend most of the day answering a phone that never stops ringing, and making tea for a boss who’s forgotten how to smile – if he ever knew…”
“Sounds like the proverbial barrel of laughs…”
Instantly I relaxed, gazing into those kind brown eyes, revelling in our empathy.
Our drinks arrived and I took a sip. “You’re right – I feel better already,” I said, smiling a little.
“Good to hear…”
“Do you really want to know the details… of Thursday night, I mean,” I started, looking hard at him, searching for the truth.
“If it helps you to talk about it…”
“I guess it does.” After shutting my eyes for a few moments, I began. “For starters, I didn’t fit in – not really, anyway. Kevin’s sister-in-law was nice to me and treated me as an equal, but even so, I knew deep down that she was… how shall I put it… more than a rung higher than I am on the social scale. But far, far worse was his mother, who first of all put the pump on me, and then shunned me for the rest of the evening…”
“Okay…but that’s just his family… Look, honey, you can’t blame him for what the others do…”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Yes, but I haven’t told you the whole story. I’m sure he’s seeing someone else: the girl I told you about. She was there, at the party.”
“Gees, he’s gamer than I am…” he muttered, turning his head.
“And she let it slip that he’d arranged to take her out, but she cancelled it.”
“Well, maybe she’s not interested…”
“If you’d seen the way she was making up to him – giving him the glad eye – you’d be having different thoughts… Anyway, we parted on a bad note, and maybe I’ll never see him again…”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“I don’t know. I know now that I don’t trust him – he isn’t entirely honest with me – and, without honesty, what have you got?”
“I get your meaning, honey…”
“But I’m sorry it’s turned out this way. No-one likes a relationship to end like that…”
“No, but maybe it’ll help you to know others have gone through the same thing…”
“Yeah…”
“I lived with a girl, once. She was twenty, I was twenty-one. Her parents wouldn’t sign the consent form – otherwise we’d have made it legal. After six months we’d had enough. I’d be working late and she’d think I had someone else… So we ended it. Same thing – lack of trust…”
“I’m sorry…” I murmured.
“These things happen,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
For a while we sat in silence. My thought processes somehow changed, and I felt just a little more able to face the future.
“I’ve got to get going. I’ve got a guitar lesson booked at Tempe this arvo, and there’s a couple of things to do on the way…”
After digesting these words I looked down.
“What’re you doing for the rest of the day?” he asked.
“There’s nothing planned.”
“How about you sit in on my lesson – it’s only half an hour – and then we catch the train down to the Quay… Maybe get the Manly ferry and have fish’n’chips on the beach…”
“Sounds good to me,” I said, smiling, “but I guess I’d better let mum know I won’t be home for dinner.”
“Here’s a bob for the phone…” Before I had time to answer, he handed me a coin.
Mum took the news with scant comment, and I hurried back.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Sure,” I answered, warming more and more to the plan.
“My car’s around the corner,” he said, striding with confidence.
“What do you drive?”
“Nothing fancy: a Vauxhall four-door sedan…”
“A good, honest car…”
“I reckon I could get you on the pay-roll,” he said, grinning.
I laughed.
“You know, I’m serious. There’s an opening for a new salesperson…”
“Yeah, but I have no experience… and I’m a woman…”
“A bit of training would see you sweet. The second point is a bonus, in my opinion.”
As he opened the car door for me, I was overwhelmed by a wave of pleasant anticipation.
“Do you know Tempe?” he asked as we drove off.
“Not really. I’ve gone past it in the train, often enough, but I’ve never gotten out.”
“The guy who teaches me – Bob’s his name – has a music shop in the city. It suits him… Not too much travelling…”
“Yeah, that’d be right…”
“Are you into music?” he asked in a genuine tone.
“Who isn’t?”
“What I meant was, do you play an instrument…”
“Played recorder at school, like everyone else… I sing a bit, though…”
“Sing, eh? What kind of stuff?”
“I can sing most styles, but I like modern, best.”
“Hey, that’s great! I wanna start a band and I’m looking for singers…”
“Hang on: I didn’t say I was good enough for that sort of thing…”
“There you go again – putting yourself down. I can see I’m going to have to re-educate you.”
“Be serious, Todd,” I replied, giggling.
“I am being serious. You’re my next project…”
“You’re mad…” I couldn’t stop laughing.
“No, no, no… This is turning out to be bigger and better than I’d expected…”
“So you have in mind turning me into a used car saleswoman that sings in a band,” I reiterated, my eyes stinging through tears of happiness.
“Among other things,” he said, stopping for a red light.
“You can’t have much to do if you’re willing to take this on,” I observed.
“Too true – my life’s just work most days, and music in whatever’s left over after the other chores are taken care of…”
“You haven’t got a wife tucked away somewhere, have you?” I asked, half-seriously.
“No, no, no: what do you take me for?” He shook his head.
“Just finding out – a girl has to be careful these days…” I admit to being immoderately pleased by his answer.
As our journey continued, we talked of this and that – our conversations frequently interspersed with laughter,
So I was not anxious for the drive to end, but end it did as we parked in a narrow street and stepped out onto the pavement.
“Is this it?” I asked.
“Yeah – changed my mind about stopping off elsewhere… Reckon I can get this over by just after four. Bob’s pretty flexible – I can’t see him quibbling over starting half-an-hour early.”
“That’ll give us a bit more time by the water…”
“My thoughts exactly… Here, make yourself useful and carry my music.”
With marked eagerness I took it out of his hand, noticing how strong and well-developed his fingers were.
“Thanks… I’ll just grab the guitar…” he said, opening the car door again. “Go ahead and ring the doorbell.”
I complied, though I was pleased to see Todd hurrying towards the door just as it opened.
“Ah… Afternoon, young lady… you must be a friend of Todd’s, unless I’m very much mistaken…” he started, grinning.
He was older than I’d imagined – well into his fifties. A manicured, greying beard balanced the lack of hair on his head – or so I thought. His eyes of brightest blue shouted ‘welcome’. I relaxed.
“There’s been a change of plan, Bob. Would it put you out if we started early?”
“No problem… Come straight through. Is the young lady going to sit in?”
“That’s the plan. She’s a singer,” added Todd.
“No I’m not: not really, anyway. I can just sing a little…” I added, glancing down.
“Are you interested in learning? I know a very good teacher…” added Bob.
“Yeah, that’s a great idea. What do ya say, Amanda?”
“I – I’ve never thought about it.”
“Reckon that’s the way to go… I wanna get this band up and running this year. I’ve been looking for a female vocalist…”
“Wait a minute – you haven’t heard me yet…”
“We’ll give you five minutes now…” announced Todd.
“No – no. Not today. Let me think about it…”
“As you wish… Okay, Bob, I’ve been working on those chords you talked about… I think I’m getting the hang of it…” started Todd, settling into his stool and setting up his guitar.
Quietly I found a chair and made myself as unobtrusive as I could. Now and then I became aware of Todd giving me more than a glance, and as our eyes met, I smiled. I liked the way he played – his sense of rhythm betrayed an innate musicality which appealed to my soul. As the lesson came to an end, I realised that, for me, this had been time well spent in many ways.
“Hope you weren’t bored too much,” said Todd as we negotiated the pathway to the car.
“No – not at all… You’re very talented, you know,” I answered, smiling in my most authentic way.
“Thanks! In that case, maybe I’ve inspired you to think seriously about joining my band…”
My heart started to thud. “I’ll think about it, Todd – seriously…”
“Terrific – you’ve made my day…”
The grin that accompanied his words left me in little doubt – he believed in me.
“I hate leaving the guitar in the boot, but I don’t have much option,” he said as he slammed the trunk shut.
“Where will you leave it?”
“Here’s as good a place as any – the station’s just a block away…”
“Right…”
We arrived just in time to see our train about to pull in, and Todd and I made a dash from the ticket office, hopping onto a carriage as the whistle blew.
“That was close,” I observed with pleasure as we found a seat for two.
“Could make the difference between catching the ferry and watching it go,” he added.
“It’s a while since I’ve been there…”
“You should make the effort… Best fish’n’chips in Sydney…”
“You’re probably right,” I answered.
“You don’t get sea-sick, I hope.”
“No – it’s fun when the boat rocks,” I added, remembering my childhood pleasure at such events.
“The smell of the ocean – it’s great…”
In silence I nodded. Quite abruptly, it occurred to me that Kevin had never said something like that in all the months we’d been together.
Our stop – Circular Quay – was a popular one, and we were among the last to step out of our compartment. Once on the platform, Todd reached for my hand – the first time. It felt so right.
“Ferry’s in,” he uttered, hurrying.
It cost me an effort to keep up with him, but we were both rewarded by gaining a spot on deck, and, as the ferry chugged off, my mood lightened further.
“You been over the bridge by car?” asked Todd as we drew near it.
“No – only by train, when we went to visit an aunt in Chatswood when I was ten or so…”
