Remember us this way, p.1
Remember Us This Way, page 1
Sheridan Anne
Remember Us This Way
Copyright © 2024 Sheridan Anne
All rights reserved
First Published in 2024
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of the binding or cover other than in which it is published, and without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Cover Design: Sheridan Anne
Editing: Fox Proof Editing
Formatting: Sheridan Anne
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Introduction
Noah Ryan was my whole life. From start to end, it was always him.
He taught me pain, patience, forgiveness, and the impact of the footprints I will leave in the sands of time. But most of all, he taught me what it meant to truly give my heart to another. It was short-lived and intense—a soul-shattering type of love—but it was mine, and I clung to it right until the end.
Noah Ryan was my salvation.
And I . . . I was his first great love.
Remember Us This Way is an intense short-lived epic love story that will leave the soul gasping for air. Please be mindful that this story is a tragedy with the purpose of taking its readers on an emotional journey.
Content Warning
The following list of triggers may also be perceived as spoilers to some. If you do not wish to have the book spoiled, stop reading now!
Your mental health is important to me, so please be mindful of your triggers when reading Remember Us This Way.
This novel deals with some heavy topics -
Loss of loved ones
Grieving/mourning
Self-hate & Self-destruction
On page bullying
On page death of minor
Journey of sick minor, through to death (leukemia)
Playlist
Listen to the Remember Us This Way playlist here -
To those who’ve had to fight like hell, but never got to see the sunrise.
We love you.
Contents
Prologue
1. Zoey
2. Zoey
3. Noah
4. Zoey
5. Zoey
6. Noah
7. Noah
8. Zoey
9. Noah
10. Zoey
11. Zoey
12. Noah
13. Noah
14. Zoey
15. Zoey
16. Noah
17. Zoey
18. Noah
19. Noah
20. Zoey
21. Noah
22. Zoey
23. Zoey
24. Noah
25. Noah
26. Zoey
27. Noah
28. Zoey
29. Noah
30. Noah
31. Zoey
32. Zoey
33. Zoey
34. Noah
35. Noah
36. Zoey
37. Zoey
38. Zoey
39. Zoey
40. Noah
41. Zoey
42. Noah
43. Noah
44. Zoey
45. Zoey
46. Noah
47. Zoey
48. Noah
49. Zoey
50. Zoey
51. Noah
52. Zoey
53. Zoey
54. Noah
55. Noah
56. Zoey
57. Zoey
58. Zoey
59. Noah
60. Zoey
61. Noah
62. Noah
Epilogue
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Other books by Sheridan Anne
Prologue
Zoey
Noah stares into my eyes as though I’m the only girl in the world, his dark gaze sending a million fluttering butterflies soaring through the pit of my stomach. A soft smile plays on my lips, and when his warm hand takes mine, he drops down on one knee.
My chest swells with happiness as he clutches his mother’s ring between his fingers, and in this moment, I’ve never been happier. “Zoey Erica James,” he says, not daring to take his eyes off mine as the soft spring breeze catches in my hair, blowing my chestnut locks around my face. “Will you marry me?”
His voice doesn’t shake, and as I stare down at him, I see the rest of my life flash before my eyes, playing out like a movie. Only my hand falls away, dropping to my side as red-hot anger booms through my chest. “NO!” I huff, stomping my foot and crossing my arms over my chest. “You did it wrong. You’re supposed to tell me how beautiful I am.”
Noah groans, the frustration clear in his eyes as he scrambles to his feet. “I did not do it wrong,” he argues, that temper of his quickly boiling to the surface as his little brother, Lincoln, kicks a goal and cheers to himself across the yard. “That’s what they do in all the movies.”
“MOM!” I whine, feeling the tears beginning to sting my eyes as I turn to find our mothers watching us from the back patio, my baby sister, Hazel, crying in her bouncer. “Noah’s not doing it right.”
“Oh, honey,” she says with a heavy sigh, a tightness in her eyes that’s been there ever since she brought me home from the doctor yesterday. She quickly wipes her face, and I wonder why she’s so sad. It’s a happy day. Noah and his mom are here. That’s her favorite thing in the world . . . mine too. “I think he did a wonderful job. It was a million times better than your daddy’s proposal to me.”
Noah’s mom laughs, watching us with sadness in her eyes as she scoops up my sister and gently rocks her in her arms. “Come on, Noah. Give it another try. Zoey is your bestest friend in the world. Dig down deep and really blow her away.”
Noah groans and lets out a heavy sigh before turning back to me, and I smile wide, more than ready to have my bestest friend blow me away . . . whatever that means.
He mutters under his breath before his gaze lifts back to mine. He takes my hand, only this time, he’s clearly not in the mood to play along, but it doesn’t matter to me. As long as Noah is playing with me, I’m happy. I’m always happy when he comes over. And when he smiles at me . . . maybe that’s what it means to blow me away.
Noah holds my gaze and inches toward me, his chest right in front of mine. “Zoey Erica James,” he starts again, and my smile stretches wide over my face as he drops back down to one knee. “You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Can you marry me now?”
Elation bursts through my veins, and I squeal, never so happy in my life. “YES!” I boom before throwing myself at him. Noah wraps his arms protectively around me as we crash to the ground, and his mother’s ring tumbles into the long grass, probably never to be seen again, but I don’t care about that.
I slam my lips down on his, giving him the biggest kiss I can possibly manage. “You’re going to be the bestest husband, Noah Ryan.”
“Ugh, gross, Zozo,” he says, shoving me off him, and as I fall into the dirty grass and stain my dress, he wipes the back of his arm across his mouth, losing my kiss. “This is stupid. You have girl germs.”
My bottom lip wobbles as I get to my feet, my butt hurting from when he shoved me off him, but I won’t dare tell him that. Noah’s so brave. I don’t ever want him to see me not being brave too. “I do not have girl germs.”
“Uh, yeah you do,” he argues back. “You’re a girl. You’re wearing a silly dress and have flowers in your hair. That makes you a girl, and I don’t want stupid girl kisses.”
“They’re not stupid,” I throw back at him, tears welling in my eyes.
“Ugh,” he groans, getting annoyed. “Why do we always have to do what you wanna do? Can’t we just play tag or something like that? You haven’t even seen my new bike yet.”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment, and as the tears fall down my face, I turn and run. I run with everything I am.
“Mommy,” I cry, only she doesn’t look up because she’s silently crying into Aunt Maya’s shoulder. My tears fall harder at the sight. She never has time for me anymore. She’s always busy talking to doctors or crying with my daddy.
Huffing, I go for the door, barging through and passing our daddies in the living room. The game is on, but neither of them seems to be watching it. My feet hit the stairs, and I run faster than I’ve ever run before.
Noah said my kisses were stupid, but they’re not stupid. They’re special. Like a gift from me to him. If he gave me a kiss, I would always keep it special.
Barging into my room, I slam the door behind me and throw myself down on my bed, smooshing my face into my pillow and letting the tears flow free.
He’s supposed to be my bestest friend.
My tears eventually dry, and while it’s barely been a few minutes, it feels like a lifetime. Is this what life is supposed to be about? Boys hurting my heart? Because if that’s it, I don’t want it. I want to always be happy with Noah. I want him to love me like I love him, but he can’t love me if he thinks my kisses are stup
A knock sounds at my bedroom door, and I sit up on my bed, watching as it swings open. Noah stands on the other side of the doorway, looking like he just swallowed a whole lemon.
He looks anywhere but at me, and I squint my eyes at him real hard, more than ready to give him a piece of my mind, but I don’t know what to say. Noah Ryan broke my heart, and even though we were just playing, it still hurts.
“Your mommy made you come and say sorry, didn’t she?”
Noah rolls his eyes and huffs, inching into my room, still refusing to meet my stare. He’s never been good at apologizing. He hates it, almost as much as he hates my kisses. “Yes,” he grumbles.
Scrambling off my bed, I go and stand in front of him, knowing that when it comes to Noah Ryan and apologies, he sometimes needs a little help. At least, that’s what his mommy says. “You broke my heart,” I tell him, pouting out my bottom lip. “My kisses are special.”
Those dark eyes stare back at me. “I didn’t mean to make you sad, Zozo,” he says, the ring I’d lost in the long grass now looped over his finger. “I just don’t like kisses, but maybe I might like them when I’m bigger.”
My heart booms with happiness. “Really?”
He nods, a wide smile stretching across his face. “Yeah,” he says before something flickers in his eyes. He steps into me, taking my hand just like he did out in the yard, and pushes the too-big ring onto my finger. “Zozo,” he says, squeezing my hand as he leans in to whisper in my ear, a wave of goosebumps spreading over my skin and making the butterflies start to roam again. “You know I love you, right?”
Tipping my head up, I meet his stare, his dark eyes locked so tightly on mine as my heart thunders in my chest. My whole world revolves around this boy, and I’ve never been so happy. I don’t ever want this to change.
“I’m sorry I hurt your heart,” he whispers. “I don’t ever want to do that again.”
“I don’t want you to do that either.”
A soft smile pulls at his lips, and the way his eyes sparkle has me already forgetting how it hurt. “Can I still marry you?”
I laugh, pulling him into my arms and squeezing him tight, my every dream coming true. “Yes,” I tell him. He beams back at me, and then surprising me, he takes my face in both his hands and presses a big kiss to my lips, making my heart beat faster than it ever has in my whole entire life.
And I realize this is exactly what Aunt Maya meant. This is what it means to blow me away, and I swear to myself that every day of forever and ever, I want Noah Ryan to blow me away.
When Noah pulls back and meets my eyes, the look he gives me makes me feel as though I could burst right up into space. “I guess girl kisses aren’t that bad.”
I laugh again and pull him back in for another hug, loving how happy Noah Ryan makes me. “You’re my bestest friend in the whole world,” I remind him.
“I’m your only friend, Zozo.”
“Nuh-uh,” I say, pulling back. “Tarni Luca is my friend.”
“Tarni Luca is not your friend,” he says, with a huff, his brows pulling down. “She has a face like a butt.”
My jaw drops, and I stare at him in shock. I’ve never heard such a mean thing come out of his mouth, but the second the shock wears off, I laugh. She kinda does have a face like a butt.
“I’m the only friend you need,” Noah tells me before walking past me to my bed, grabbing my iPad off the end, and settling against my pillow, already searching for his favorite apps. He pats the space beside him, and I carefully climb up and sit next to him, leaning over to watch what he’s doing. “Check this out,” he says. “I finally learned how to get past level fourteen.”
My eyes widen, watching how amazing he is. He’s one year older than me, and I’ve always been amazed at the things he can do. I’ve never seen anyone ride their bike quite as fast as he can, and when he plays football, he’s the best one on the field. Every time. I love going and cheering at his games. Our moms always let us get a treat afterward.
Noah teaches me how to play, and when I finally get the hang of it, he gets quiet. “Zozo,” he murmurs, a strange tone in his voice. He stops playing and looks up at me, his brows scrunched. “Why was your mom crying?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know,” I tell him in a small voice, shrugging my shoulders. “Mommy and Daddy have been crying a lot lately.”
“Do you think something’s wrong?”
“Maybe,” I whisper, trying not to worry about it. They always tell me I have to be a big, brave girl for my baby sister, and be her protector. I’m not the baby anymore. I have to be a grown-up girl.
“It’s okay,” he tells me, slipping his hand into mine. “As long as they don’t take you away from me, then it’s going to be alright.”
I trust his word entirely. I always have because he’s the smartest person I know and a whole grade ahead of me.
Another knock sounds at my door, and I hear Aunt Maya’s voice. “Noah, sweetheart. Are you in here?” she asks, creeping into my room with my parents behind her, finding us on my bed. Noah’s mom gives me a wide smile, her gaze lingering on me for just a moment longer than usual before glancing at her son. “It’s time to go. Zoey’s mommy and daddy need to have a chat with Zo, so we need to scram.”
Noah groans. “Really? We were just about to get past level fifteen.”
“You can FaceTime each other tonight and finish your game then,” she says before stepping up to the edge of my bed and crouching down, placing her hand on my thigh. “Have I ever told you that you’re the most beautiful girl I know? You’re so brave and strong,” she tells me, blinking back tears. “You’re my little warrior.”
I give Aunt Maya a wide smile, always loving it when people tell me how great I am.
Noah scoots off my bed, and when he gets to his feet, he turns back and looks at me before practically pushing his mom out of his way. He leans in to whisper in my ear. “Don’t tell anybody how much I like your stupid girl kisses.”
A wide grin stretches across my face, and I beam back at him, making a show of crossing my heart. “Promise.”
With that, Noah and his mom make their way out of my room, but Aunt Maya stops to glance at my mom. She pulls her into a tight hug, her hands rubbing over my mom’s back as my daddy places his hand on Mom’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay,” Aunt Maya says, her words making something tremble in my chest. “I’m always here whenever you need.”
Noah gives me one last glance before slipping out of my room with his mom, and I’m left looking up at my parents. They give me tight smiles as if trying to pretend that everything is okay, but I see the red around their eyes.
“Hey honey,” Mom says, sitting down beside me. Her arm falls around my shoulder as Daddy sits next to me with his big hand on my knee. “There’s something we need to tell you.”
1
Zoey
The late afternoon breeze sails through my bedroom window as I scan through my closet for the millionth time, searching for the perfect outfit to start junior year tomorrow.
I don’t know why I feel so nervous about this. It’s not like junior year really matters in the grand scheme of things. I have a great bunch of friends and am usually on top of my grades. I’m the perfect student, and yet the idea of walking into school after a great summer makes me feel sick, or maybe I’m just sad that summer is over, and it’s back to real life. Who knows.
Something just feels . . . different.
Grabbing a tank and a pair of high-waisted denim shorts, I hold them up and stand in front of the mirror, my face scrunched as I take it in. It’s cute, but it’s not really giving me I’m about to dominate junior year vibes. Maybe an oversized sweater will be better with these shorts. Only the heat can be a bitch here in Arizona, and I do not want to be the girl with sweat patches under my arms on day one. I would never live it down.
Letting out a huff, I throw the outfit back in the closet, and as I begin to search for another, my phone chimes on the end of my bed. I dart across my room to grab it, skipping over my backpack before I miss the call.
