Desire unmatched 4 coded.., p.1
Desire Unmatched: 4 (Coded for Love), page 1
Desire Unmatched
Lynne Silver
Book four in the Coded for Love series.
Genetically enhanced soldier Xander Bristack has spent his life under the imposing rule of his dictatorial, controlling father. Under his father’s watch, he is the Program’s deadliest and coldest killer. But when Xander is kidnapped by enemies of the Program, only one thing motivates him to escape. His true match, the sexy Emma Harrison.
He’s been obsessed with Emma from afar, yearning to have her in his life and in his bed, but knowing he should never involve the beautiful blonde in his messed-up world. However, when Xander breaks out of his prison and returns home, Emma refuses to let him keep his distance, enticing him to surrender to the heat between them. She teaches him that passion trumps duty and love doesn’t mean blind obedience. His desire for her cracks the shell he’s hidden in his whole life.
A Romantica® contemporary erotic romance from Ellora’s Cave
Desire Unmatched
Lynne Silver
Prologue
Xander cracked open his eyes, feeling pain down to his toenails, if he even still had any toenails. Paulson’s crew had worked him over good. Every bone in his body ached and his skin felt matted with sweat and crusted-over blood.
He’d been blessedly drugged between beatings, probably to keep him silent and still for wherever they’d taken him. He tried to look around, but nothing in his body wanted to cooperate. Didn’t matter, nothing was visible but darkness. He was in a room or a container of some kind, maybe the size of a bedroom, or maybe the size of a coffin. He didn’t know, and he was almost past caring. He only wanted the pain to go away.
Abruptly, his belly and throat filled with bile and he managed to turn his head to the side a fraction to vomit in a disgusting puddle. He had no sense of time. He remembered watching the back door and the parking lot at the restaurant for Doctor Jones, and then…nothing.
Fragments of darkness followed bits and pieces of memories of being shoved into a car and waking up to a strange rocking sensation, as if he were on a boat. But mostly it was darkness. He wondered if he’d ever see the sun again.
Chapter One
July, Two Months Earlier
“Where are you going?” Emma Harrison tried to block the exit of the main office building with her body, but she knew Xander would simply use his size to brush past her with ease.
“Lunch,” he said curtly.
Surprisingly, he didn’t move past her. She tried to meet his sober gaze with a friendly one of her own. “I spent the morning watching Luca, Doctor Jones’ son.” She’d been trying to get his attention or have a real conversation with him all week with little success. Xander seemed determined to ignore her.
No response. At least he hadn’t left the building. A glimmer of hope in a dark cloud.
“He’s adorable. I wish I’d known he was in Paulson’s clinic with me.” It killed a part of her that while she’d been locked away, the unwilling recipient of fertility experiments for a few months, there’d also been a child locked in the clinic with her. Xander had been on their rescue team and had been everything that was supportive and wonderful at the time. Now? It was like talking to a wall. A journal would’ve been more interactive.
“We played football. I mean soccer.” She’d only been a Yank for two weeks, but she was determined to shed the past, and if that meant losing the Britishisms, then so be it. “Did you play foot—soccer as a boy?” She could be mistaken, but, yes, there was a shake of his head. “No? Was baseball more your thing?”
Now he stepped toward her, using his greater height and weight to try to intimidate her to let him pass. She rubbed her sweaty palms on her trousers and gamely tried to continue the conversation. “You were a swimmer?”
He stared her down. “Emma, stop,” he said quietly. His dark eyes gave nothing away as he cocked his head toward her.
She didn’t get it. How was he the same man who’d rescued her from Paulson’s clinic? The man who’d hugged her and held her hand, refusing to let her be alone for the first twenty-four hours of freedom? He’d seemed to know instinctively that after she’d been locked alone in a small cell with only one daily visit from her jailer as company, she’d go mad if she were left alone.
“Xander, please. Why are you pushing me away?” Head, meet wall. “Talk to me.” Her frustration rang in her voice and she worried she’d do something stupid like try to touch him or hug him again.
“Emma, you have to let me go.”
“Tell me why,” she practically begged, hating herself for it. “I understand what the Program does now and why Paulson kidnapped me. I also know that you and I are a likely a DNA match. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it.”
His expression remained as blank as a chalkboard on the first day of school. There was no getting through to the ice man. If she didn’t know better, she’d assume he really didn’t feel anything for her or for anything in the world. But last week, they’d had a moment. He’d brought her to safety on the Program campus and escorted her to her new apartment. And he’d kissed her. Only once, but it had been enough to keep her on edge all week. She wanted more.
Of course it could be the hormones talking. Months of forced hormone injections from Paulson had her a little crazed, but she trusted her instinct. She belonged with Xander.
“Emma.” His tone said he was running out of patience.
Maybe he was running out of willpower. When he’d kissed her, there’d been desperation in it, as if he were saying hello before he was forced to say goodbye.
“Kiss me and I’ll get out of your way,” she bargained.
“What? No.” He tried to sidestep her, but she moved quickly to block him. She didn’t fool herself for a minute that he couldn’t easily escape the building without breaking a sweat. The man was an enhanced soldier, after all, but she made herself believe he was being polite.
“One kiss. Or I’ll think you’re afraid of me.”
He muttered something she didn’t quite catch.
“No cursing, just kissing.” Oh my, was that a hint of a smile on his lips? She didn’t wait for permission. She stepped closer and leaned up to press her lips against his. He didn’t pull away for one, two, three seconds. And then, bam. He backed way up, looking stunned.
“Don’t do that again,” he said.
“Why not? A little snogging never hurt anyone.”
“It’ll hurt you,” he said. “Trust me.” And then he sidestepped her, fleeing the building, leaving her alone and confused.
*
August
“Oh, you startled me.” Emma put a hand to her chest. “What are you doing here and why are you sneaking around?” She was in the large main office storage room, putting things in boxes and helping to organize the chaotic room. Her hair was piled in a loose bun on her head, and sweat dampened her dusty pale-pink blouse. Nice of Xander to stop by now when she looked a fright.
Xander watched her soberly for a minute. “I heard you’re looking for a job.”
She nodded. “Yep. I don’t want to be a mooch. Everyone around here has done so much for me. I hate to keep taking without giving back.”
“So that’s why you’re inside on this gorgeous day up to your ass in dusty boxes of shit we’ll never need again?”
Way to make her feel useless, but she answered him anyway. “Yes. I overheard Shep complain he couldn’t find anything in this mess. I volunteered to help out.” She didn’t understand why after nearly a month of ignoring her, he was seeking her out now, but she finally had him alone and didn’t question his motives too hard. It was pathetic how much a single word from this man warmed her insides. Even without the blood work, they both knew they were a match. After her horrific kidnapping ordeal, she wanted the connection and the safety of belonging to someone. No, not simply someone. Xander.
“Will you look for a job off campus or on campus?”
“Off probably, and I want to take classes at the university. I hadn’t realized it was down the street.”
For some reason this made him scowl. Idly, she noticed his buzz cut was longer than she’d seen it. Normally he kept it at army recruit length. Today it was practically hippie length at two inches long. He looked good to her no matter his haircut.
“I didn’t finish my degree, remember, Xander?”
“I forgot how young you are.”
“I’m twenty-four. I took a year off between school and uni.”
“And I’m thirty. Like I said, you’re a baby.”
“Is that what has you keeping your distance? Afraid you’re robbing the cradle?” Her bare knee brushed against one of the many cardboard crates she sat among.
“Among other things.”
“Such as?”
He didn’t answer, but she hadn’t really expected one. Xander was a man of few words and even fewer explanations. “Why are you here, Xander? Did you want another kiss?” Maybe she was actually getting to him. She hadn’t imagined his flinch at the word kiss.
“I wanted to see you, that’s all.”
“Because we’re a match, and it’s getting harder for you to deny it. Isn’t it?”
“Something’s getting harder,” he muttered.
She tried to hide her smile. He obviously hadn’t wanted her to hear his words, but now they were out there. And speaking of, she sneaked a peek at his crotch. Yep, no place to hide that puppy. His erection punched out behind the zipper of his trousers.
&nb
If he accepted her as his match, she’d belong here. It had taken her own father nine weeks to notice she’d been missing after Paulson kidnapped her. Xander wouldn’t misplace his match for more than nine minutes.
“Let’s blow off some steam,” she said, rising to her feet.
“What?” He looked startled.
She gestured to his crotch. “I want you, and you obviously want me. We don’t have to make a lifetime commitment. We can simply release some steam.” Lies, all lies. She wanted him sexually. She wanted him forever. Before he could refuse, she unbuttoned the sheer blouse she wore over a tiny pink camisole. She had his full attention now. The black fatigue pants he wore stretched tighter over the hard ridge of flesh.
Her friends at home would laugh to see her up to her usual tricks. She didn’t consider herself a slut, but she’d hooked up with her fair share of men. There was nothing wrong with liking sex, in her opinion, and she knew sex with this man, her possible match, would rock her world.
“Emma,” he said, but she didn’t know whether it was a plea to stop or keep going. So she ignored his wishes and went with her own. Which meant getting naked, right here right now in the dusty, crowded storage room. She could drag him over to her apartment down the hall, but if she interrupted this moment for even a second, she knew Xander would bolt. No, no time to get to a more private place.
Shep thought she wouldn’t want to be in the bachelor apartments after her experience at Paulson’s hands. She appreciated the distance from the bachelors, but not for the reasons he thought. Living down the hall in the same building as Xander would’ve been torture. It would’ve been a battle every night not to sneak out and climb in bed with him. But now he’d come to her.
Oh shit. She was taking off her shirt, and yep, there was her bra, every bit as sexy as he’d imagined. And he’d imagined a lot. How the hell had this happened? He’d had a plan, a goal, and five seconds with Emma had blown it out of the water. He’d known Shep hadn’t particularly wanted him to match and breed, he was too much of a loose cannon.
Fine with him.
Easy as pie never to sign up to match. It wasn’t as if a guy’s perfect match would come strolling onto the compound. Except his had. And now she was getting naked, and, God help him, every reason he had for steering clear of her was flying out of his brain. Understandable, really, when all blood flow was heading south.
“Emma, stop.”
“Not a chance.” And there went her shoes. “Shut the door, Xander. If anyone finds out, you’ll be trapped into matching with me.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing? Trapping me?”
A hurt look crossed her face. “I would never try to trap a man. No, baby, this is all about pleasure.” She smiled. “I’d heard you Yanks were a prudish lot. I wouldn’t have guessed you were, but now I know.”
“I’m not a prude.” Except he kind of was. He’d never even had a girlfriend and he’d had sex with exactly three women. Thank you, Dad. When he’d turned eighteen, his father had Shep start a search for his match. A twenty-two-year-old woman had been found and presented. She’d taken his virginity that night, but not his heart.
And after that, almost nothing. Any woman was going to have to either pass the DNA test or be dated on the sly. One-night stands and stealthy dating were tiresome when you spent the rest of your working life being stealthy, so he’d given up. He hadn’t been with a woman in four years. Four fucking years. His right hand and wrist had the beginnings of carpal tunnel. Doc had said he needed to lay off the punching bag, but he knew the real cause. He needed to give masturbation a rest.
Unfortunately, he had no choice. If he matched and had a kid, his father would take over, and he’d never let his child be subjected to the torture he’d suffered.
But holy God, his freaking match was getting naked in the room with him, and his cock might explode at the sight alone.
“Xander?” For the first time Emma looked worried she might have gone too far.
He didn’t answer except to shred the shirt he wore in his haste to rip it off. His pants only made it as far as his knees before he launched himself at Emma.
She looped her arms over his shoulders and backed them up onto an old sofa wedged against the wall. This was probably the old couch from the apartment usually used to test couples for matching. He tried not to think about how many couples had done the deed on this particular couch. At least they weren’t in the match-testing apartment complete with cameras. That was all he needed, an audience.
“Emma, I want you. Now.”
“Condom,” she panted. Thank Christ, he actually had one in his wallet. His father insisted he always have one until he was matched, and even did random wallet inspections to make sure his son was carrying protection. He’d never silently thanked his father for anything until now.
Once the condom was on, he pushed open her thighs and pressed into her. She was tight and not nearly as ready for him as he was for her. But he was blind to anything but his blazing need. It had been too long since he’d been with a woman, and this particular woman was his match. He was nearly one hundred percent sure even without the blood tests. He’d been feeling the connection with her since he’d met her.
Her warm, tight sheath surrounded him and he was lost. It took only an embarrassing three strokes before he spent himself. It was the best three seconds of his life.
“Xander?” Emma sat up on her elbows, looking at him with a shocked expression.
“Fuck.” He pushed off her, yanked on his pants and fled the room.
*
“We did it.” Emma was whispering for no reason since they were alone in the cafeteria.
“Did what?” Loren leaned across the small round table to whisper also.
“Sex, dummy. What did you think?”
Her mouth dropped open a little. “You and Xander? Oh my God. When? How?”
Emma stifled a giggle. Although it wasn’t a laughing matter. “A few days ago. How?” Now she laughed. “In the usual way. Insert tab A into slot B. Except…” She paused, hating to betray Xander like this, but she had to tell someone, and Loren was her closest chum at the Program. “Except it was horrid.”
Loren’s chin practically hit the table. “Really? Maybe you’re not a match after all.”
“No, we definitely are. The sex confirmed it for me.”
“But…”
“I know, you keep telling me finding your match is this magical experience and the sex will rock my world. Well, it started off great. The moment I’m near him, it’s like my whole body is more alive, know what I mean?”
“Mmm-hmm. Go on.”
“I think he feels the same way. I can tell because…”
Loren held up a hand to stop her. “Please, stop there. I don’t need to know.”
“Well, anyway, it was as if I pushed him to the breaking point. I thought he was going to ravish me. Like in those romance novels. But in the books, the sex is always mind-blowing. And this, well, wasn’t.”
“He was a bad lover?”
“He wasn’t a lover. He was done in about two seconds, and then he literally ran out of the room, leaving me on my back, knees up by my ears.”
“Oh my God. For real?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh my God,” Loren repeated. “What did you do? What are you going to do?”
She shrugged. “What could I do? I got dressed and went on my merry way. I refuse to run after him. I have a shred of pride left. He wronged me. He’ll have to find me and apologize.”
“Oh, Em, I’m sorry.”
“You win some, you lose some.”
“Sweetie, don’t shrug it off like it doesn’t matter. I wanted this for you. After your past few months, I wanted you to find the happiness I have with Adam. And Xander always looks sad. I wanted him to find some happiness too.”
“Now we know why he’s angry all the time. Because he’s the worst lover of all time.” She tried to laugh it off, but her chest hurt every time she remembered the look on Xander’s face when he backed out of the room. And she hadn’t been imagining the tears brightening his eyes.
