Bittersweet promises, p.8
Bittersweet Promises, page 8
"And what about the apology I asked for?"
"What's a...'pology?"
"It's admitting to someone you hurt that you were wrong for doing it. There are certain rules that we go by, both children and grownups. One of the rules is that we treat each other with respect and don't take our anger out by hitting or kicking each other. And that's one rule that usually brings on some sort of punishment for the person who breaks it."
Melinda glanced up at her. "I saw two men fightin' one day when we went to town. But Daddy picked me up and took me away. Did they get p...punished?"
"Probably," Shanna told her. "Sometimes the sheriff takes grownups who fight to jail. How did you feel when you saw those men?" Shanna asked. "Did it make you feel good?"
"No," Melinda admitted. "It scared me."
Shanna sat quietly for a while, letting Melinda turn her thoughts over in her mind.
Suddenly Melinda looked up at Shanna fearfully. "Will I go to jail for kicking you?"
With an effort, Shanna stifled the laughter that threatened her and kept a calm look on her face. "No, Melinda. The sheriff does that to control grownups, not children. It's expected that the grownups will teach their children the rules and see that they follow them. The sheriff's got enough to do without worrying about controlling people's children."
"Are you going to punish me?"
"Not this time, if I get my apology from you. But if it happens again, yes, I will see that you're punished. I believe in giving children a chance to correct themselves first. Then, if I have to, I'll give the child a punishment, so they'll remember the rule better if they're tempted to break it a third time."
Melinda slid off the bed and stood before Shanna. "I 'pologize," she said as she scuffed at the floor with her shoe. "And...and I think I'm sorry, too. I hope I didn't scare you when I hurt you."
"I accept your apology," Shanna said. "And, no, you didn't scare me, but you did hurt me and made me very angry."
"Did you want to kick me back?"
"For a minute, I guess," Shanna admitted, finding herself astonished at how much Melinda had evidently taken in of their talk. The child was definitely very bright and would be a joy to teach if she could ever get some sort of relationship going between herself and Melinda. Away from her father, Melinda was a much more reasonable child.
"But I don't believe in hitting children," Shanna told Melinda. "Or kicking them, for that matter. However, there are other ways to punish someone."
"How?" Melinda asked.
"Oh, maybe by not letting the child have any dessert for a week or so."
"You mean, no chocolate cake?"
"No, I mean no cake at all, chocolate or otherwise. And no pie or pudding or anything else sweet."
"I gotta go tell Aunt Bessie I 'pologize," Melinda said as she raced toward the door.
Shanna stood and shook her head as she smiled after Melinda's disappearing back. When she entered the kitchen, she found Bessie sitting in a chair and listening attentively to Melinda.
"And I 'pologize," Melinda was saying. "I didn't mean to tell a lie." Her brow puckered in concentration. "Well, I mean I didn't mean to say Miss Allen told a lie. But that was a lie, too, wasn't it? I mean...."
"I understand what you're trying to say, Melinda," Bessie said with a pat on Melinda's head. "Now why don't you run along out to the barn? I think Shanna and I can manage here in the kitchen. It's nice to have another woman around to help out."
"Thanks, Aunt Bessie!" Melinda quickly tossed Shanna a shy smile and ran to the door before her aunt could change her mind.
"That was certainly a change," Bessie said to Shanna.
"It's a start. But it won't last unless it's reinforced. I think Melinda and I have a few more battles ahead of us yet."
"Not just with Melinda."
"No," Shanna agreed. A pair of brown eyes flashed in her mind and she found herself thinking she wouldn't enjoy the other battles at all.
The kitchen door opened again and Melinda stuck her head around it. "Aunt Bessie!" she cried. "Daddy says the baby horse is coming. Don't wait supper for him."
Melinda pulled the door shut again and Shanna just as quickly jerked it open to see Melinda running back across the snow covered yard toward the barn. When Bessie stepped out beside her, Shanna threw a horrified glance at the older woman.
"What did she mean?"
"The mare's foaling. It's a little early, or Cody never would have taken us into town and left her. It's her first and he's been worried about her."
"He's not going to let those children stay out there and watch a mare give birth!"
"I very much doubt he'll let Melinda stay. In fact, here she comes now."
Melinda flew back across the yard and they could both hear her sobbing. She ran up the steps and flung herself into Bessie's arms when Bessie knelt down.
"D...Daddy yelled at me!" she sobbed. "He told be to go away! I didn't even get to pet my pony!"
"My word," Bessie said as she glanced up at Shanna. "There must be something terribly wrong with the mare. I better get some hot water started in case Cody needs it."
"I'll go get Toby," Shanna said.
"First fetch me some water from the well, child." Bessie rose to her feet and took Melinda's hand to lead her inside. "Toby will be all right out there for a while and Cody may need his help."
"Toby's never seen anything like that before in his life," Shanna gasped.
Bessie gave her a stern look and Shanna reluctantly stepped off the porch and started for the well.
Chapter 7
Shanna pushed the barn door open and marched inside. Toby would return to the house. Surely there was a nearby neighbor Cody could send for if he needed help with the birthing — they had passed scattered houses on the trip from Liberty. They hadn't been what she considered prosperous looking farms, but the people in the yards had waved and called friendly greetings. She could even offer to carry the message herself, if Cody would saddle her a horse.
Eyes adjusting to the dim light after the bright snow outside, Shanna tried to decide where to look for the Cody and Toby. The inane thought that she had never been in a barn before passed through her mind. In New York, a stableboy always delivered her little mare to the front steps. She sniffed tentatively, finding the unfamiliar odors strangely pleasant and the interior of the barn far cleaner than she had expected.
A snort beside her made Shanna jump and swivel toward the first stall in the barn, where a paint pony peeked over a half door. She walked over to pat the soft muzzle and the pony nudged her hand, then stretched its neck out in an attempt to reach her cloak pocket.
"Oh no you don't!" Shanna chuckled and dodged the inquisitive muzzle. "I don't have anything in my pocket for you. I used to carry sugar for my mare, though, and I know what you're looking for. I'll bring you something next time." She caught herself laughing at what she imagined was a look of reproachment in the pony's eyes.
Suddenly a loud neigh, heavy with pain and agony, split the air inside the barn. Shanna clasped her throat and whirled around. After the echoes of the sound died in the barn, she heard voices murmuring, the sounds coming from a stall further in the shadowed recesses of the barn.
"Son," Shanna heard Cody saying when she finally gathered enough courage to approach the open door of the other stall. "If you want to go on up to the house, it's all right. This isn't going to be pleasant."
"No," Toby replied. "She's quieter when I hold her and talk to her."
Shanna stared at the brown mare lying on the straw-littered floor, her sides heaving and her head resting in Toby's small lap. She stifled a gasp when the mare's eyes rolled back and her legs thrashed, sending Cody scrambling away from the iron-shod hooves. Toby bent his head over the mare's ear and spoke soothingly to her, and she quieted again.
Cody caught sight of Shanna standing in the stall door and walked over to her, his face grim in the dim light. "Look, you better get back up to the house."
"I came out here to get Toby."
"That's up to him," Cody said with a shrug. "He's doing a good job keeping that mare quiet. And I'm afraid I really am going to need some help."
Toby raised his head and his eyes implored Shanna. "Shanna, I'll come if you say I have to. But she's hurtin', Shanna, and I'm helping her bear it."
"Toby, do you have any idea what's going on here?"
"She's gonna have a baby colt or filly, Shanna. Sometimes it hurts them, but she'll be happy and proud of her new baby after she gets it pushed out."
"Pushed ou...my lord." Her blue eyes flashed at Cody. "What have you told him?"
"Just what to expect. He won't be much help to me if he doesn't know what's going to happen."
The mare gave a moan and her sides heaved again. Shanna's face whitened and she watched Toby bend down again to murmur to the mare, his hands stroking the sides of her muzzle.
"Make up your mind," Cody barked at Shanna. "I think that colt's turned the wrong way, and I've got to try to turn it around. If you want to be useful, too, go back to the house and fetch the water I'm sure Bessie's got on the stove for me."
Ignoring Shanna, Cody again knelt in the straw by the mare's hindquarters. When he reached for the mare's tail, Shanna gasped and ran for the barn door.
Outside the barn, Shanna pulled in a steadying breath of the cold air. Somewhat calmer, she glanced over her shoulder, her mind filled with the scene inside and her heart aching with pity for the mare. She hadn't reached the age of twenty without knowing something of childbirth, and just last year one of her friends had died giving birth to her first child. Shanna recalled the whispers of breach birth at her friend's funeral.
She hesitated uncertainly. She didn't want Toby to be sitting there with the mare's head in his arms when she died. But Cody had said something about turning the colt. Could that be possible?
Another shrill neigh from inside the barn decided Shanna. She raced down the now well-travelled path through the snow and up the steps into the kitchen.
Bessie barely acknowledged Shanna as she emerged from the pantry, a stack of clean linen towels and a bar of soap in her arms.
"Get the bucket of water from the stove," Bessie ordered as she started for the door. "I heard the mare scream. I reckon it's a breach birth, and Cody's going to have to try to turn the colt."
"Aunt Bessie," Melinda said from her seat at the table. "I don't want to stay here by myself."
"Then come on, child," Bessie said. "But you wait at the barn door. Your father won't want you coming inside."
Melinda slid from her chair and went after Bessie as Shanna grabbed another towel from the rack by the stove. She wrapped it around the hot handle of the water bucket and carried it with her back out the door.
Hours later, Shanna sat on the bale of hay she had dragged up to the stall door, her hands clenched in her lap and her lips moving in prayer. It didn't even dawn on her to look away from where Cody had his arm deep inside the mare. She gave a cry of joy when Cody pulled a tiny muzzle out. A second later, the mare gave a final, mighty heave and the colt slipped onto the straw.
"How wonderful," she breathed. She rose to her feet and quickly glanced at Toby. He was still curled up asleep at the mare's head, his arm around her nose.
"Let him sleep a few more minutes," Cody said as he worked over the colt. "He's done a good job."
"Yes, he did," Shanna agreed. "I never thought...he's only five."
Cody grunted a reply she didn't catch and continued working. He had long ago removed his coat and shirt, and his broad back glistened with sweat, even in the chilly barn. Shanna watched the muscles play across his back as he wiped the colt with handfuls of straw.
The mare gave another moan and Shanna cried out, "What's wrong?"
"Afterbirth," Cody muttered.
Shanna's stomach heaved. This time she turned away for a few seconds. When she looked back, Cody was replacing a pitchfork against the wall of the stall. Then he knelt by one of the fresh buckets of water Shanna had brought out an hour earlier to wash his hands and arms.
"Now," he said after he dried himself on the remaining clean towel, "let's see if we can get this little fellow on his feet."
Before he could reach for the colt, the mare pulled her legs under her and scrambled to her feet. Her movements woke Toby and he rubbed at his eyes for an instant before he gave a gasp and jumped up.
"Is it here, Cody?" he asked. "The baby?"
"Right here, son," Cody said with a chuckle as he moved around the mare. "Let's let the mother get acquainted with it first, though. All right? You come on over here with your sister and me."
Toby cautiously walked around the mare, his eyes wide with wonder as he stared down at the colt in the straw. He joined Shanna and Cody outside the stall and watched with rapt attention as the mare nudged the colt to its feet. The colt stood rocking precariously on his outrageously long legs for a second before it collapsed back to the stall floor.
"Oh, the poor thing," Shanna said.
Shanna instinctively started forward, but Cody caught her hand. "Don't," he said quietly. "Just watch a minute."
Shanna stared down at their clasped hands for a second, then quickly forgot about them when the colt gave a faint nicker.
The second time the colt heaved itself to its feet, it managed to maintain its balance. After a nudge from its mother, it wobbled toward the mare's hindquarters and stuck its head underneath.
"What's it doing, Cody?" Toby asked, his voice barely a whisper as he watched the colt's little broomtail begin twitching from side to side.
"Eatin', Toby," Cody told him. "That bag has the mare's milk in it. He gets it by sucking on those teats hanging down there. All newborn babies that drink milk get it that way, even human ones."
"Oh!" Shanna gasped as a blush of embarrassment stole over her face. She felt a squeeze on her hand and glanced at Cody to meet his smiling brown eyes.
"Sorry," Cody said. "I keep forgetting, you two are city folks."
Shanna pulled her hand free and moved a step away from him. Suddenly she whirled toward Toby.
"What did you just say, Toby?" she asked in a voice laced with astonishment as her small brother's last remark penetrated her jumbled thoughts.
"I asked you if you'll feed your babies like that when you have them, Shanna," Toby repeated, his eyes centered somewhere near Shanna's stomach. "Cody said...."
Cody's loud guffaw threatened to drown out Shanna's voice and she stepped around him to reach for Toby's arm.
"I think you better get on up to the house and eat something, Toby." Shanna gave him a shove toward the barn door. "Aunt Bessie left some sandwiches on the table for us. I'll be there in a minute and show you where we're sleeping."
Toby gave a sigh and looked up at Cody. "I guess that's something Shanna will talk to me about later," he said. "She's always telling me I'm too young to know about some things and that she'll tell me about them later."
"Go on, son," Cody said around his laughter. "The colt will be here in the morning, and you have to pick out a name for him."
"Me? You mean, I get to name him? And how do you know it's a boy colt? You said it could be either a boy colt or a girl filly."
"Of course you're going to name him," Cody said. "After all, I don't think he'd have lived if you hadn't helped me — or maybe the mare either." He glanced at Shanna, again trying to smother laughter. "But let's wait until tomorrow for me to show you how I know it's a colt and not a filly."
"Get on up to the house, Toby," Shanna said through gritted teeth.
"Yes, ma'am," Toby said as he obeyed.
Cody waited until Toby disappeared out the barn door before he turned back to Shanna. "Sometimes that boy acts more like your son than your brother."
"He should," Shanna said without thinking. "I've practically raised him since he was born."
"His mother died in childbirth? Then, I guess I understand why you were afraid to leave him here with the mare being in trouble."
"N...no," Shanna admitted. "Mother died a couple months ago. But she hardly ever left her bed after Toby was born. I took care of him, along with the nu...."
"Nurse?" Cody prodded when Shanna fell silent. "If you're used to a houseful of servants, what in the world are you doing out here all alone? You're certainly of an age that you could have taken over the house after your mother died."
"The only thing that should concern you is that I've had experience with children," Shanna fired back at him, quickly regretting that she had allowed him even a glimpse into her background. "You don't have to worry that you can't trust your daughter to my care."
"That's not what I'm worried about," Cody muttered. "But since you brought it up," he continued before Shanna could speak again, "you've had experience with a child, one child, not children. And that child was a boy, not a girl. My daughter has been through a traumatic experience, and she needs time to heal from it."
"You can allow her to heal without spoiling her rotten. Children grow from bad experiences sometimes, if they're handled right."
"Melinda spoiled?" Cody shot back. "This is probably the first time in his life that Toby ever got a speck of dirt on him. I'm surprised you weren't over there washing his face while he held the mare."
"Well, I wasn't, was I? And I heard you tell Toby what a good job he did. You even rewarded him by telling him he could name the colt."
"Children learn from rewards."
"Not rewards like chocolate cake." Shanna tilted her head up at him, her lips pursed in disapproval. "Rewards like that are meaningless. They only give a physical gratification to a child. Emotional gratifications mean much more, like letting Toby name the colt. That's something he'll remember long after the taste of a piece of cake has disappeared. Why is it you can see that with a child who isn't your own, yet not with Melinda? Aunt Bessie's afraid Melinda's going to grow into a spoiled southern belle."
"I know exactly what my aunt thinks about how I treat Melinda!" Cody almost yelled at her, the prissy, self- righteous look on Shanna's face and his tiredness making him less guarded than usual with his words. "She and I disagree on just what the difference is between my protecting Melinda and babying her. But just what the hell is wrong with her being spoiled a bit? There's not a damned thing wrong with a woman who depends on a man to take care of her and pamper her! If I'd taken better care of my wife, Melinda wouldn't be growing up without a mother to care for her!"
