Eternal, p.14
Eternal, page 14
Soren’s mouth is firmly lined, his eyes raging with revenge. He doesn’t ask another question. He knows I’ve hit my limit about answering questions about Tristan. I let out a shaky breath and try to hold back the panic attack that’s setting in. The tears threatened to spill over my red cheeks. He has no idea how much those three years haunt me. Daily.
Soren notices and leans forward, dragging me to his chest. He sits with me on his lap and gently strokes my hair.
“Freya, let it all out," He whispers.
And I do. I let out my emotions and sob into his shoulder until I could hardly breathe anymore. Soren carries me into the bedroom and me into bed before climbing into his side, and while he doesn’t cuddle me, he does keep a hand on my side.
"I'm sorry I grabbed you," He whispers into the dark.
"Soren, please don't ever do it again."
"I won't, I promise."
I fall asleep, lost to another nightmare.
“You stupid whore! Do you think you’ll ever amount to anything? I am the reason you are where you are. And you dare to leave me? You can never leave me. I own you for the rest of your life.” Tristan screams in my face, gripping my hair so hard, I swear he’s ripping the hair out of my scalp.
The moment I was attempting to leave Tristan. The first time.
“Tristan, let go of me!” I cry out, my hands clawing at his wrists to ease the ache in the back of my head.
“Oh, does this hurt?” He mocks my tears, but his grip tightens. He’s lifting me at this point, dragging me to the stairs. “Let me show you how much you’ve hurt me.” He growls menacingly.
My scalp gets relief for a moment until his foot connects with my abdomen, and I’m kicked down the stairs.
“Tristan! No!” I scream out, throwing my arms out in hopes of catching something that will stop my bruising descent down the stairs. I come up empty-handed. With each stair I hit, another bruise forms, and I just wish for death at this point. Fuck, I might’ve even broken my arm.
“You deserve every bruise and broken bone, you fucking dumb whore. It’s how I feel on the inside. So think long and hard about that.” Tristan says, gripping the back of my head again, lifting me.
I’m so weak it hurts to breathe.
“Just kill me.” I cry.
“Kill you? Do you think you’ll get it that easy? No. You will suffer because if I’m suffering, you are too. Do I need to remind you of what you just told me?” He lands a blow on my face.
Blood smears his knuckles, and I give up. The pain was so unbearable. I hope some God will take mercy and just kill me. And the lights go out the moment his fist connects with my temple.
If only I were so lucky to be able to die so early on.
Chapter nineteen
Soren
“Freya.”
“Freya.”
“Freya, darling, wake up.” I shake her awake.
Her cheeks are wet and flushed. Her breath ragged like she’s been running a marathon. Freya’s eyes fly open, and she starts wailing.
Her restless sleep is startling to me. She looks scared. I can’t tell if she’s afraid of me or of whatever dream it was.
Has this happened during the nights I was gone?
Guilt consumes me, as I start to regret leaving her alone for the past week. I tried hard to distance myself, but I can’t do it anymore. We can’t be separated like that anymore. It was as hard on me as much as it was on her.
“Freya, baby, it’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe with me,” I whisper words of affirmation, cradling her to my chest.
She fights me at first, as if the dream she was in still dances across her eyes, but relaxes as this reality sets in for her. The overwhelming instinct to protect her is taking over, and I can’t suppress it anymore. I wish I could rip her memories of Tristan away, to only leave her with memories of us. We might not have too many of them now, but I’ll make sure we create plenty.
But before I give her the life she deserves, Tristan Bristol will die. If not by her hands, then by mine. I can’t even fathom how much she suffered at his hands if it left her this brittle.
I press kisses into the side of her head as she comes back to this reality. Her body relaxes slowly as I run my hands along her side, hoping to instill some comfort. She pats my chest and pulls herself out of my arms. A part of me wants to keep her velcroed to me, but I don’t want to push her too far today. She’s already had a rough morning. Besides, I did this to myself. I was the only one who drove a wedge between us; it’ll be my job to get it back out.
Freya sits on the edge of the bed as I stand to take a shower and get ready for the day. I hope she will follow me there and seek solace in my arms. In reality, she won’t. I’ve destroyed the trust we built when I left her alone for all that time. I just needed time to figure myself out. I don’t know what there was to figure out because the only answer I found was that we belong together. We work better together. When she’s around, my mind is… calm?
I turn the shower off and step out. She flutters through the room, stopping to watch as I dry myself off. Freya catches me staring back at her and moves out of view again. I walk into the bedroom to find her sitting on the bench at the end of the bed, her head hanging low, as I start to dress.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask softly.
I hope she says yes, because only then will I understand how deeply rooted her traumas run.
“No. Please don’t make me talk about it. I’m just trying to forget about it,” She responds, her breath ragged as I slip a black t-shirt over my head.
I choose not to respond because the only thing on my mind is finding that motherfucker and bringing him to his knees. After I’m dressed, I head towards the door. She stands quickly and clutches my arm.
“Where are you going?” She sounds panicked.
I turn my body towards her. Remorse for my actions eats at me again as she stands there looking even more small and fragile than she usually does. Her eyes cast downwards as I gaze at her. She keeps hold of my arm like it’s a security blanket.
“I’m going to make a cup of coffee. I thought maybe we could go out and spend the day together. I felt bad leaving you here alone all week.” That last part slips out before I can stop it.
She looks at me, and how her eyes light up makes my heart drop. I would do anything for this woman; that much is certain. She nods vigorously and moves to the closet to prepare for the day.
I lay back down in bed, watching her move across the room. I might’ve fucked up worse than I thought. She seems like she’s slipped into a bad headspace during my absence. I should not have tried to back away from her like I did. Freya needs me just as much as I need her.
Is she falling in love with me too?
We slip into the car and make our way to the little downtown area of our new home.
“So, where are we exactly?” Freya asks as she takes in the striking scenery of the mountains surrounding us.
“Crested Butte, Colorado,” I responded, glancing over at her.
She’s clenching her thighs together, forcing me to look away. I can’t give in to her completely. I need to hold myself back from her still.
We park along the main street and start walking. She looks at my hand as we pass by antique stores and boutiques. I walk a little closer to her and grab her hand; perhaps this is what she’s been wanting. Just a little contact. We entered one boutique with a dress that caught her eye in the window. She’s shuffling along the racks of clothing while I loom over her. Another tall man, and a shorter girl, seem to be disguising themselves. I watch him closely, trying to place where I’ve seen him before. They quickly leave the store when they realize I am also watching them. My attention is brought back to Freya, who has been talking to me the whole time, but I didn’t hear a word she said.
Where the fuck have I seen him before?
A part of me wishes we hadn’t gone shopping, but it’s been soothing for her to get out of the house. I suppose it wasn’t that bad.
“Thank you for taking me out to see the town, Soren,” Freya says as we pull into the driveway. She looks at me with a soft smile on her face.
I have to grip the steering wheel much harder so I don’t lean over and kiss her right here.
“You’re welcome.” I get out quickly and move to her side to open her door.
There’s a pile of boxes towering over the front door. Freya's eyes widen, as well as mine.
Freya’s hands knot in front of her as she peeks up at me. “I didn’t realize everything would arrive at once.”
“Did you do a little retail therapy?” I chuckle, watching her rush to the front door.
Her eyes are lit up like a kid on Christmas. She nods, and a mischievous grin is on her face. She can spend a million dollars, and I wouldn’t even bat an eye. She deserves everything and anything.
I put my hand on one of the many boxes, not allowing her to lift them. She doesn’t need to hurt herself.
“Leave it. I’ll have someone bring them in. What did you buy anyway?” I ask, motioning at the security guard to carry these in. I mumble to him about where to leave them as we cross the threshold of our house.
“Books, records, movies, decorations. I wanted to breathe life into the house, fill it in with more character.” Freya’s voice trails off as she finishes her sentence.
She has changed a lot since we moved here. She’s become meeker around me, almost desperate for my attention. It was cruel of me to drop her off in a foreign place and not speak with her. Perhaps I can get closer, but only when I find Tristan. Until then, my focus has to be on that.
Chapter twenty
Freya
The library juts out from the rest of the house and is half glass, with paneled glass lining the wall, even replacing some of the ceiling. My long, white oak desk is on one side of the room, and the other has an armchair with an ottoman at the end nestled amongst my bookshelves. Along the glass wall is a shorter shelf that stretches with a record player and a small collection of records.
It’s my favorite room in the house.
“I left it empty intentionally. I wanted you to have a little bit of paradise. I have one bookcase that’s mine for my collection, but the rest is yours.” Soren gestures to the shelving unit lined neatly with books. He looks down at me as I stand in the library, intimidated by the stack of boxes.
Soren separates them and takes a step back as I open them. He sits at the desk, watching as I breathe life into the room. I make my way around and still have plenty of room to fill with more books. I think three large shelving units filled with books are fine for now. I stand back admiring my work when there’s a knock at the front door.
Soren sits up, immediately on alert. His hands gripping the arms of the chair when there’s another knock on the door—more vigorous this time. Soren stands and makes his way to the door, he holds his arm back, signaling for me to wait, and I do, but I can’t help but wonder who would be knocking so much.
With the third knock, Soren opens the door. I peek around the corner when I see Abe’s arm, and I go barreling toward Serena as she stands in shock, pushing past Soren. We whisper to each other, saying we’ve missed each other when Abe moves to hug us as well.
“Don’t touch her,” Soren says through gritted teeth.
Abe doesn’t approach me, keeping his feet planted where he is, staring down Soren. Serena moves to Abe in an attempt to calm him down. Soren uses the opportunity to pull me back to him, hiding me behind him as though we are greeting some bad guys.
“Well, I just wanted to come to make sure you were okay. I just had to know you weren’t going through another Tristan situation.”
Soren visibly stiffens and stands taller at the mention of Tristan. I can see a flash of intimidation cross Serena’s face as she takes in how much taller he is than her.
She steps closer to him and almost whispers, “Because if I find out you have laid a single finger on her, Soren, I’ll come back and cut your cock off and make you fucking choke on it.”
He stares at her for a moment before breaking out into a chuckle. He agrees, relenting, and inviting them in. Soren opens the door further, revealing our home to the couple.
Serena’s jaw drops as she takes everything in.
“Freya, this home is something out of your dreams,” She says breathily.
“Yeah, kinda crazy, huh?” I shrug, unsure of what to say.
Soren claims he bought the house before he found out we were to be wed, but the place has several elements that are straight from my Pinterest board, like my library. But I don’t want to focus on that. My little sister is here in my home. I don’t know how to act. I stand awkwardly in the living room with my hands twisted in front of me.
Soren puts himself between me and the others. He keeps a close eye on me the whole time while also keeping an eye on them. It’s like he’s calculating to ensure Abe doesn’t make a move he doesn’t like.
Luci appears from the kitchen. “Mr. Astor, will the guests be staying for dinner?”
“Yes. Freya’s sister and…. the bodyguard are in town,” Soren responds cooly, not even looking at her.
Abe scowls at the name he's been given.
I turned my attention to Serena. “What did you do to the guard outside?” I ask.
Soren looks back to me, then to them, wanting to know the same answer.
“He’s not dead. He’s just asleep,” Abe answers casually.
I roll my eyes. “You could have said you were coming. How the hell did you find where I was anyway?”
“Freya, you wouldn’t even call me. Did you not think I would come looking for you? Besides, when we finally did get a hold of you, there were people to track your location, but we only got the town you were in. We saw you in a shop with Soren and then followed you. I got your address from your license plate,” Serena explains arms are crossed over her chest.
She’s pissy right now, but not as bad as Soren is after learning his shit isn’t as locked down as he was hoping. Thankfully the tension is broken with the announcement of dinner being served. Soren drags me by the elbow into the dining room and sits at the head of the table after pulling out a chair for me to sit next to him, on his right.. Serena and Abe sit across from me.
“You remember dad’s birthday is in like two weeks, right?” Serena questions over the dinner Luci had served us.
I swallow hard. I’ve been trying to avoid this subject for a while. Soren stills to my right.
“Yeah. I know. I’m not sure if I’ll be there,” I say, almost whispering.
“What do you mean? You have to be there. It’s his 50th birthday.” Serena gapes at me.
“I know, Serena. It’s just--”
“We will rearrange our schedules to be there.” Soren cuts me off, putting his hand on my leg, trying to calm me.
More like he will rearrange his schedule, but that’s beside the point.
Serena sits back in her chair, satisfied with that answer. Silence falls over us as we eat our dinner. Soren carefully watches Abe while Abe pins Soren with a harsh stare. It’s like they’re having a dick-measuring contest.
I clear my throat, reaching for my wine after I finish my plate. “So, when are you guys leaving?”
“We are leaving tomorrow morning. We just had to find you and make sure you were okay,” Abe replies, drinking his wine.
I nod. “So I won’t be seeing you guys tomorrow?”
Abe shakes his head but doesn't say anything else.
Serena frowns and tosses her glare at Abe, who is utterly immune to it at this point. I excuse myself to the bathroom.
The bathroom door swings open and shuts again quickly, causing me to jump out of my skin. I must’ve forgotten to lock it.
“Jesus Christ, I thought they were going to pull their dicks and rulers out,” Serena mutters, leaning against the locked door.
I giggle, “I did too.”
“Freya, are you okay? Like actually okay?” Serena asks me with scrutinizing eyes.
“I promise, I am okay.” I look at my smile in the mirror and then back at her.
“Why didn’t you have a phone, and why were you so fucking weird over the phone?”
“Soren said he needed to get me a new one for safety reasons. He’s just being paranoid, I guess. When you called, I was in the bath, and Soren was standing there while I was on the phone,” I explain, “It’s just been… different. Like he’s constantly on the defensive to protect some sort of secret he keeps. I mean, today was the most I have seen him in a week. A week, Serena! I went a week without even seeing him. He wouldn’t even join me in bed most nights. And then last night, he magically reappeared, then made me spill my guts about Tristan, so now he knows about that,” I vent.
“Wait, wait, wait. He didn’t know about Tristan until last night?” She holds her hands up, trying to slow me down and reverse.
“No. There just wasn’t a good time to tell him.” I adjusted my ring thoughtfully.
“Did you tell him his last name?” Serena stares.
“Yes. And it feels like I told Soren to just kill him.”
Serena’s eyes widened. “Freya, you know what that means, right? That means he’s gonna find the motherfucker. I hope he cuts his dick off and makes him choke on it.” She sounds giddy over the torture of Tristan.
Her and her obsession with cutting a guy’s dick off and making him choke on it.
