Psychology 101.

  Vivian tried not to take any pleasure in his fall from grace. What she had told Joe was true. It was her mistake. She slept with a man she didn’t love for the worst reasons. To hurt Joe. To feel something other than the emptiness she had been feeling at the time. Possibly in some demented way to hurt her father, too, or to show him she wasn’t the perfect little princess who would blindly take his orders anymore.

  It didn’t matter. She’d done it. She’d been subjected to a nation’s condemnation, and she’d accepted that.

  However, as much as it had been her mistake, she could admit now that it had also been Nicholas’s. Whatever fate delivered as a result of that was his to own, as well.

  Joe stopped and asked at the help desk situated just behind the main entrance for a map of the campus and a listing of the classes being offered. A helpful freshman coed obliged, and Vivian couldn’t help but think how young the girl looked.

  Young and innocent. Waiting to really start her life as an adult. The way Vivian must have looked back in college before the kidnapping.

  Joe was seven years older than she was. It was easy now to see how any feelings he must have had for her would have been a struggle for him. Because unlike Nicholas, Joe was a man of honor and integrity who never would have used his position of authority to his advantage.

  How naive she’d been to think any relationship they might have would have been on equal footing. She was a college student trying to find her way in life, while he’d already been a mature adult with a career and a home. Their power balance would have been completely lopsided if they had attempted an actual romantic relationship. Joe, of course, having all of the power, while she worshipped and adored him.

  Maybe they had each needed these ten years for her to really grow up so that she could take on the force that was Joe Hunt on her own two feet.

  He came back to her, shoving the map in his back pocket. “It’s down the hall and to the right. A class should just be letting out.”

  Vivian nodded and then looked over at the coed again. “Was I ever that young?”

  Joe smiled. “You were younger.”

  “That’s not possible.”

  “Honey, your father covered you in Bubble Wrap the day your mother died. His goal in life was to make sure you never experienced hardship or pain in any fashion. When I met you, you had none of the typical experiences a teenage girl might have had, but you could pull off socializing with diplomats and presidents at a state dinner. It was…weird. Let’s face it, you were weird.”

  Vivian couldn’t argue. No previous boyfriends. No previous real girlfriends, either. Tutors instead of classrooms. No catfights, no jealousy, no having to stand up to a bully. Other than her father.

  By that point, Joe had graduated from West Point, had served in the military as an officer. He’d had any number of girlfriends. Yes, they would have been completely out of balance.

  Vivian shook her head. “There never would have been an us. Back then. I mean even if you had kissed me and lifted me onto that bathroom sink and…”

  “Pounded into you until you forgot your own name,” Joe finished, remembering what he’d told her about how he’d felt.

  “Yes. Even if you had done that…it wouldn’t have been easy.”

  Joe turned to her and cupped her cheek in his palm. “Babe, it would have been impossible. We would have had to keep it secret, which wouldn’t have sat well with either of us. You were not going to lie to your father like that. I wouldn’t have liked lying to my superiors or my family, either. Our only other option would have been to go public, in which case I certainly would have lost my job. So that’s me, with no job and a girlfriend in college who I can’t even come close to supporting.”

  “You thought about it,” she whispered, looking into his eyes. “You actually considered the possibilities and our options.”

  He dropped his hand then and turned away from her. Clearly not comfortable admitting any of that.

  “Come on,” he said instead and with his chin directed her to follow him. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Vivian was still processing what that meant when a door opened and a rush of students poured out into the hall. They stood back, giving the kids a chance to exit, then walked inside the very normal-looking classroom.

  Rows of desks and small podium in the center of the room.

  And Nicholas. Who currently looked like he was flirting with a slim blonde twenty-something student. Vivian supposed some things never changed. He still had that attractive intellectual quality. A boyishly handsome face, with round wire glasses, a pointed chin and deep brown eyes that seemed to see right through a person. His brown hair was scruffy around his face, and Vivian could see gray mixed through it now. She did the math and realized he was in his fifties.

  She’d wondered how she would feel seeing him again. She knew how emotional it had been to see Joe that first time. She’d been nervous, excited, curious. All emotions hitting her simultaneously until she thought she would come out of her skin.

  With Nicholas, there was none of that. Still, she was feeling something.

  “Dr. Rossi,” Joe said sharply enough to get Nicholas’s attention away from the blonde. “If I could have a minute of your time?”

  “And you are?” Nicholas asked. Clearly he hadn’t seen Vivian, as she was standing behind Joe.

  She moved out from around him and tried to fake a small smile. “He’s here with me, Nicholas.”

  “Vivian,” he whispered, then seemed to shake himself out of the past. “Long time.”

  Not long enough, Vivian realized. She had expected awkwardness, but she hadn’t expected anger—hers. Because looking at the blonde who was gazing up at him like he was some kind of supergenius, that was what Vivian felt.

  All these years she thought she took her share of the blame rightfully. But seeing him ten years later doing the same thing with a girl who was less than half his age made her realize how truly flawed a man he was. So flawed, and yet he made a living telling people how to fix their own problems. She wanted to call him out as a hypocrite but knew that would get them nowhere. Vivian smothered the anger and got down to the business at hand.

  “Yes. I wouldn’t be bothering you if it wasn’t important. If Joe and I could ask you a few questions. It’s related to the kidnapping.”

  “Gretchen, I’ll catch up with you,” he told the girl, who pouted childishly before grabbing her schoolbag and leaving.

  Joe watched her walk by and heard the door close behind her. “Seriously, dude, how young do you have to go to get a woman to buy into you?”

  Nicholas flinched but then quickly recovered. “Young enough. I’ll ask again, who are you?”

  “I’m Joe Hunt and I’m investigating…”

  “Joe Hunt?” Nicholas sputtered. “The actual Joe Hunt? Are you serious, Vivian? Did I not get through to you at all?”

  “No,” Joe snarled. “You didn’t get through to her, but you sure as hell got into her, didn’t you? Wasn’t that your primary objective? Bang the first daughter so you could feel really important?”

  Nicholas stiffened. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Vivian and I cared about each other. Tell him.”

  Vivian felt nauseated. “Is that what you told yourself? That I cared about you so it was okay to do what you did?”

  Nicholas sighed. “Oh, here we go. The innocent act. I forgot how well you played it. Like that day I told you about my wife finding out about us. You acted so shocked and appalled, as if you hadn’t known all along I was married.”

  “I was shocked. And appalled,” Vivian snapped back. “How the hell would I have known that? You didn’t wear a ring. There were no pictures around the office. The only time we…did it was during a session…so it wasn’t like you were bringing me home where I might, oh, I don’t know, meet your wife. What you did was so disgusting on so many levels it took me years of therapy to get over being treated by you!”

  Nicholas huffed, stuffing papers into his leather satchel. “I forgot. The ever-virginal Vivian. Always the victim. Always needing some kind of daddy figure to come in and save the day. Until your shining knight over here, the one you had convinced yourself you were in love with, abandoned you and you fell apart. Which left you with me as a surrogate. Tell yourself all you want I was to blame. There were two of us in that office.”

  “Yes, and one of you was supposed to be offering help. The other was a kidnapping victim,” Joe pointed out.

  Nicholas tilted his head. “Why are you here? Obviously not to skip down memory lane. It’s been ten years, and quite frankly it’s a chapter in my life I would rather forget. No offense, Vivian.”

  Joe removed the letter from inside his leather jacket and set it down on the podium in front of Nicholas.

  “What’s this supposed to be?”

  “Vivian has been receiving threatening letters like this.”

  “And what’s that got to do with me?”

  “Sugarplum,” Vivian said, hating the sound of those words on her lips. “It was what he called me. I told you that during our sessions.”

  Nicholas looked down at the letter again as if he hadn’t understood the ramifications of the endearment.

  He nodded his head. “Yes, I remember now. Again, what has this got to do with me?”

  Joe shrugged and looked around the small community school classroom. “Not exactly a thriving practice. Not even a four-year private college. I assume this was the best you could do after losing your license and reputation.”

  Nicholas’s jaw tightened. Vivian thought now there was really nothing attractive about him. He looked exactly like he was, just a small, flawed man.

  “Yes.”

  “Seems to me a man might hold a grudge. You were making well over six figures. I can’t imagine a community college comes close to that in salary.”

  “It doesn’t,” he snapped. “Your point?”

  “You’re one of the few people who knew the name McGraw had used with Vivian. She was on television a few months ago. A piece about her returning to DC and her expanding interior design business. Maybe you see that piece on the news and resent the fact that she’s done well for herself while you…haven’t.”

  Nicholas chuckled and removed his glasses, reaching inside his satchel for a cloth to wipe the lenses. Vivian remembered vividly when he used to do that during a session. Always looking at her so thoughtfully, but when the glasses came off and he rubbed the bridge of his nose, she knew the session would change into something else.

  He put them back on now. “I did not create that note and send it to Vivian. I did not see the piece on the news. I watch very little television. I prefer to read. I have not thought about Vivian Bennett in ten years, not since that horrible press conference. Sorry, Vivian, if that’s harsh for you to hear, but I had other concerns. The breakup of my marriage, the loss of my practice and the fact that I was suddenly thrust into a national scandal because my wife was a vindictive bitch. Trust me when I say this, if there was ever anyone I would consider terrorizing, it would be my ex-wife and not Vivian.”

  Joe seemed to accept that answer. “Has anyone been around in the last few months asking questions about that time?”

  “No.”

  “Any reporter?”

  “No. Nothing like that.”

  “I assume you kept notes during your sessions.”

  “Of course,” Nicholas huffed.

  “Where do you keep those notes?” Joe wanted to know.

  Nicholas smirked. “All notes related to my sessions with Vivian were turned over to the Secret Service ten years ago.”

  “What?” Vivian charged. “The things I said in those sessions, that was private. How could you?”

  “Vivian, when the president of the United States says turn over the notes, you do it. Besides, it wasn’t as if I was writing down what you said. I was writing down my thoughts about what you said.”

  “Would you have written the word Sugarplum in those notes?” Joe asked him.

  “Honestly, I can’t recall. I might have. I knew you didn’t like the endearment. You didn’t like that he considered you a loved one. It made him human to you when all you wanted was to see him as a monster. Plus there was the juxtaposition of using the name while he was physically hurting you. You struggled with that. So yes, I might have written it down in my notes as a reminder to explore that.”

  “You didn’t keep a copy of those notes?” Joe asked.

  Nicholas shook his head. “They were in notebooks. All handwritten. And like I said, they were all turned over at her father’s request. My guess is he wanted to make sure none of what I had written was ever seen again by anyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had them destroyed.”

  Joe looked at Vivian, but she shrugged. “He never said anything about it to me. But we weren’t exactly on great terms back then, what with me being an adulteress and everything.”

  Nicholas smirked. “Still having daddy issues? Not really all that surprising considering the role he played in your life. Also not surprising you ran back to your dear Joe at the first sign of trouble. Which has to make you wonder.”

  Nicholas pointed at Joe.

  “Wonder what?”

  “What if Vivian never got over her obsession with you? Maybe coming home and realizing you were still in the area triggered all those feelings of needing to be rescued. Saved by her very own knight in shining armor.”

  “What are you saying?” Vivian asked, not exactly thrilled with the idea she was obsessed with Joe. It wasn’t a healthy word.

  “What if she’s sending those letters to herself?”

  Vivian rolled her eyes. “Give me a break.”

  “You were the victim of kidnapping. You suffered abuse at the hands of your captor, and you were abandoned by the man you thought was supposed to protect you. All of that could have broken what was a fragile constitution to start with, leading you to create these letters as a way of getting back what you lost. Was there any other scenario in which you two might have reunited?”

  Vivian didn’t care for that beat of silence that followed his questions. Sadly, he was right. She didn’t know if she ever would have had a reason to contact Joe if it hadn’t been for the letters.

  “That’s what I thought,” Nicholas said smugly. “Very unlikely.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about…” Vivian started.

  “Vivian,” Joe said, cutting her off. He reached for her hand. “It’s not worth it. We’re done here.”

  “Rings a little too true, doesn’t it, Joe?” Nicholas taunted. “I mean, you have to know mentally she wasn’t the strongest of women.”

  Joe turned back to him then and got up in the older man’s face. “You want to know how strong she is? She survived the death of her mother, she grew up alone in the fishbowl that is the White House. She survived her overbearing father, she survived McGraw, she survived me and most of all, you sick bastard, she survived what you did to her. Because of you she had to listen as the nation collectively called her a whore. That’s not fragile in my book. That’s strength. What a truly crappy therapist you must have been if you can’t see something that obvious.”

  Nicholas had no reply and again Joe turned, taking Vivian’s hand and leading her, practically at a sprint, out of the classroom. He didn’t say anything until they reached the car, and once they did he slammed his hand against the steering wheel several times in a way she knew must hurt.

  Knowing that he was hurting himself in lieu of hurting Nicholas.

  Her poor steering wheel was taking a lot of abuse lately at the hands of Joe Hunt.

  Vivian reached over to him. “Stop,” she said gently. “He’s not worth it. Remember?”

  “That slimeball douchebag!”

  Vivian couldn’t help but smile. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d seen Joe lose his cool—except after their first kiss. He always kept his emotions in check.

  Well, maybe not always. The night he found her after he killed McGraw he’d been shaking so hard another agent had had to come in and cut off the ropes. Funny how she had forgotten that until now.

  “Why your father didn’t confront that bastard. I will never forgive him for that! He promised me…he freaking promised.”

  “Promised you what?”

  Joe didn’t answer, he just shook his head.

  “Don’t say that you won’t forgive him.” Vivian ran a hand over his arm to soothe him. “I can’t have the two men in my life at war with each other.”

  He looked at her, and she could see the anger leaving him.

  “Do you think I became unhinged in the last ten years and sent those letters to myself so I could get your attention?” Vivian asked, a smile playing around her lips.

  Nicholas really was quite ridiculous.

  “No.”

  She smiled fully. No hesitation, no uncertainty. It wasn’t the craziest scenario if she had in fact become unhinged, but he didn’t doubt her. Not even a little bit.

  “Thank you.” She leaned over and kissed him. A second later she felt his hand on the back of her neck and then he was really kissing her, and she wondered if there would be room for her to crawl into his lap. But he pulled away.

  “Not here,” he said roughly, and she thought he might have been thinking the same thing.

  “Home?” she asked, meaning his apartment. That was probably strange, too. After two nights with him, it already felt like home.

  “Home,” he agreed and looked almost maniacal as he started the car and drove them back into the city.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “HOW DO I LOOK? And keep in mind there is only one real answer to that.”

  Joe was fidgeting with his tie when Vivian came down the short hallway into the living room. She was wearing a black strapless gown that hugged her body as if it had been made for her, which in all likelihood it probably had been. Her hair was swept up in a sophisticated bun she’d done herself. And her jewelry, all presents on various occasions from her father, not overdone, made her look like a woman of both class and money.

 

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