Song of the wolf, p.39
Song of the Wolf, page 39
“I could still pardon you—”
“You won’t do that. You’ll do the right thing, as you always have.”
“I’d make an exception for you,” Talin said. Red Wolf’s mouth twitched into the faintest trace of a smile.
“Seeing as neither of us wishes to say our farewells at the gates, I take it this is our last conversation together,” he said.
“Well, I…” Talin sighed. There was no denying it. “Yes. I suppose it is. I wish we could’ve had more time. I still can’t believe I let you get close to me, despite my best efforts.”
Red Wolf grinned. “Admit it, you didn’t try hard.”
“I don’t regret it.”
“I would hope not.”
Talin couldn’t help but laugh.
“I still owe you a drink,” Red Wolf said. “If the guard outside were to conveniently fall asleep for a few hours…”
“I…I would love to, but I can’t risk someone recognising you. Don’t worry, you’ll have the chance someday. I look forward to it.”
He probably won’t.
Talin pushed the thought from her mind.
“I won’t forget, I promise,” Red Wolf said.
“Then it’s a deal. The next time we meet, you’re buying me a drink,” Talin said.
“Of course.”
Talin settled in the nearby armchair while Red Wolf kicked off his boots to sit on the bed. “I…will admit, I have more questions for you. About your time with the Hellhounds. If you were so inclined to answer them.”
“Anything,” Red Wolf said.
They talked till well past midnight, with Talin asking most of the burning questions she’d had about his past with the Hellhounds. Red Wolf answered them all, though she noticed that he dodged anything related to their alchemists and experiments unless she asked him directly. She didn’t press him. Their conversation was finally cut off when they both realised that the trial would be first thing in the morning, and they needed to be well rested for it. Talin bid him farewell as if they were simply parting ways for the night and would see each other in the morning as usual. The guard outside had, indeed, fallen asleep, and quickly stood to attention with a mumbled apology when she passed.
You don’t even need to be there. He’s only in that tower because he doesn’t want to escape. She didn’t voice it out loud.
Now in the hallway leading to her chambers, Talin wondered if they should have said a proper farewell. Maybe it was better that they didn’t; pretending they would see each other again soon was the only way she could cope. Perhaps it was selfish of her, when Red Wolf would soon be barred from setting foot in Kies Tor ever again, but he had gone along with it all the same. She was glad he didn’t try to force her to say goodbye. And maybe he had seen through her façade earlier, but she refused to let him see her cry. She had to be strong in front of him, to show him that she would be fine on her own, that she could lead her people alone.
You’ll never see him again. It’s your fault that he’ll be exiled when you could have pardoned him—
Talin brushed her tears aside angrily and walked faster.
L
The morning brought a drizzle that came and went during the trial, cooling the weather and gradually turning the roads dark with rainwater. For once, things seemed to go exactly as planned, though this time Talin wished they hadn’t.
Anything to stop what’s happening.
The gods, unfortunately, didn’t see fit to supply her with a miracle of any kind.
“How do you plead?”
“Guilty,” Red Wolf said, and that single word felt like a knife to her heart. She closed her eyes and refused to cry. Branweyn gave the verdict and sentence before ushering them all out so he could prepare for the next case. Red Wolf was ordered to leave immediately with his escort while Talin returned to the palace.
Now, standing on the balcony overlooking the entire city, she watched as the specks that were Red Wolf and his escort edged closer and closer to the northern gates. She had told herself many times that she would not go to farewell him; she still wasn’t sure she could bear to say goodbye. He had understood. They had parted ways without saying anything, and now he was almost at the gates. Past the white walls of Belanore, she would never see him again.
Never is a long time.
Talin turned away from the balcony, threw on a coat, and raced down towards the palace stables for her horse. The stablemaster didn’t question her rush, thankfully, and she was soon on the cobbled streets of Belanore, galloping for the northern gates. Red Wolf was already there when she caught up, having just ridden past the wall and left the city behind. He must have heard her approach because he stopped, forcing his escort to stop with him. She dismounted, but he remained unmoving, refusing to look at her.
“Red Wolf,” she said quietly.
“I think it best…perhaps…if we did not say our farewells, my queen,” Red Wolf said.
“I couldn’t…not like this.” Talin fought to keep her voice steady. “Not without saying goodbye.”
“I understand.” Red Wolf swung himself off his horse. “I didn’t…I didn’t want to make things any harder.”
“There is no way you could make them easier,” Talin said.
“I know.” Red Wolf drew her away from the escort. “Talin, I…” He shook his head. “I can’t. I don’t know what I can say to you.”
“No, there’s…not much for me to say either.” Talin swallowed. “I’m sorry…”
“Do not apologise. This was beyond your control. Your people would see me hanged or beheaded otherwise,” Red Wolf said. “And I had my chance to make things right again. Clear your brother’s name. Fix my mistakes. My only regret is that we must now say goodbye.”
“I wish I didn’t have to stay. You’re right, this is my kingdom, and my people, and I have a duty to them,” Talin whispered. “But after everything I’ve seen…I don’t know that I want to lead them.”
“You could pass on the crown to your brother,” Red Wolf said. “Your people never deserved you, Talin, and you deserved so much better than them. But I know you better than that, or I hope I do.”
“I must lead them. Change Kies Tor for the better, or at the very least, try to,” Talin confessed. “Do you…no. Forget my father. If my mother were here today, do you think…”
“I think she would be so proud of what you’ve achieved,” Red Wolf said, and Talin had to fight to keep her tears from falling. “Your father, too, for what that’s worth, because you made the decisions that he never could.”
“Don’t go.” It was all she could manage. “Please don’t go.”
“You have to let me go.” Red Wolf reached under his tunic and pulled off a small necklace of a wolf’s head. Its jewelled eyes stared at her unblinkingly. “I do not have much in the way of gifts, though I do have this. A trinket, of sorts, from the Hellhounds. They told me there was magic stored in this necklace, but I was never able to figure it out. Perhaps you’ll make better use of it.”
“I couldn’t take this…” Talin began. “It’s yours.”
“A parting gift.” Red Wolf pressed the necklace into her palm and curled her fingers around it. Talin looked down at it.
“Thank you.”
“I have faith in you, Talin. If anyone can win this war against the Hellhounds, it’s you,” Red Wolf said.
“Wh…what will you do? Where will you go?” Talin heard herself ask.
“To the northern border, perhaps,” Red Wolf said. “I’d like to find out who I am, if nothing else. Failing that, I’ll go west again to the Drakels. I need you to do something for me.”
Talin took a step closer. “Of course.”
“Forget about me, Talin.” Red Wolf took her face in his hands. “I need you to forget my face, my name, my existence. Move on, lead your people, and make this place better. Without me.”
“Red Wolf, no. I can’t do that. You know…” Talin’s voice broke. “You know I can’t do that. I won’t forget you.”
“Talin.” Red Wolf silenced her with a kiss. She returned it almost desperately, knowing that this was their final moment together, that when they broke apart, she would lose him for good. His hands slid down to her waist, pulling her close as he deepened the kiss. It took every ounce of willpower to push him away. If she allowed herself to savour this moment, even for an instant, she knew she would never be able to let him go.
“Don’t,” she said, feeling more tears springing to her eyes. “Don’t make this any harder. Please.”
Red Wolf’s expression never changed, but she knew he understood. “If you ever happen to need me again, send a bird west to El’Vane. It will reach me eventually.”
Talin simply nodded; her throat had constricted too much for her to talk, and if she opened her mouth, she was certain she would fall apart. She looked up, into the rings of molten gold in his eyes, and tried her hardest not to cry.
“Until we meet again, my queen,” he said. Talin watched as he turned his back and mounted his horse, and the escort moved off. She stayed there until his fading figure had completely disappeared into the distance, and she was certain she could no longer see him. Only then did she allow herself to climb onto the back of her horse and turn for home.
Later, as she retired to her bedchambers to change into a nightgown, she found a letter on her bed addressed to her in Red Wolf’s familiar, elegant scrawl. She stared at it for a time, then broke the seal and read it. It wasn’t much, but there was no doubt that her bodyguard had written it, perhaps sometime before his departure. She almost burned it afterwards because she couldn’t bear to look at it again. In the end, she secreted it in a drawer in her study, and wore the necklace he’d given her.
She knew he didn’t want her to forget.
My dearest Talin,
I wish I could offer some words of comfort, to tell you that all will be alright, but I cannot say this now with certainty. We walk separate paths, my queen, and difficult ones, to be sure. Yours perhaps will be the most difficult of all. I do not know if we will meet again, for my own road is perilous and dark. Be strong, be true, and above all, be brave. Your people will look to you in the times ahead. Give them hope. You may feel that you are not worthy to lead them, but know that you are the queen that Kies Tor needs. Instinct tells me that you’ll not fail. And when the nights grow cold and bleak, and the days fill with fire and smoke, look up and look around, for my absence does not mean you are alone. The sun will rise each morning, the world will continue to turn, and though it may seem impossible, this war will be won.
Red Wolf
Acknowledgements
So, I wrote this book back in 2018. Left it for a bit. Came back and rewrote it. Rewrote it a few more times. Now I’m here, and I can still hardly believe this thing will actually be published for people to read. Song of the Wolf spawned as a standalone initially and only became a series through the wonderful power of the writing community, where I was able to bounce ideas off of fellow writers and yell about how much I love my characters. Truly, none of this would have been possible without the following people, so without further ado, let’s get into it.
I would first like to thank my friends and fellow authors (you know who you are), who have always been there to provide support and encouragement while I was writing this book. In particular, I’d like to thank my fellow writers at the MelbNaNo Discord Server—the enthusiasm about Red Wolf and Talin was an incredible confidence boost when I felt like my stuff wasn’t up to par. I hope none of you hold the ending of this book against me. For my old friends at the CitW Discord and the private Treehouse Discord (again, you know who you are), thank you for being there when I first started writing seriously and not being judgemental of my early awful prose—I don’t think I would have taken my writing nearly as seriously had you not been there to cheer on my work. To all the people who have read one of my fanfics on AO3 and left kudos or comments, thank you for enjoying my content, and I hope this book also lived up to your expectations.
To the editing team at The Expert Editor, thank you for taking the time to go through my entire 120k-word manuscript line by line and offer suggestions for improvement. I know it was no easy feat; going through those edits took me almost a month. Your insight and expertise were incredibly useful in polishing this book and making sure it was the best it could possibly be.
I would also like to thank my family, without whose support I would not be able to publish this book. As embarrassing as it may be, thank you also for spreading the word about my book to everyone you know and helping with marketing in that regard. I would especially like to thank my brother’s interest and enthusiasm about my story—your eagerness to read my manuscript as I was proofreading is appreciated, as is your eagerness to see my book cover before I’d even started making it.
To my schoolteachers over the years: Mr Stackpole, Ms Handesyde, Ms Hicks, Mr Walsh, and Miss Rowlston, thank you for recognising and encouraging my love for writing. I doubt I would be publishing a book all these years later without all of your support.
Finally, I would like to thank my cat, Athena, for always being there as moral support, and for not crashing my word processing app when she walked all over my keyboard while I was going through 500 pages of line edits.
About the Author
T.C. Smith (he/she/they) is a criminology undergraduate trying to make a career out of creative writing instead of the degree they graduated with. Stories of the Ancient Lands is their debut fantasy series, which pays tribute to the sci-fi and fantasy stories they read and watched as a child. Their hobbies include writing, digital art, and gaming, all three of which seem to cause them a great deal of distress despite being recreational activities—they still haven’t recovered from the emotional damage caused by the opening of Ori and the Blind Forest. They’re inspired by pop culture and any form of media they can get their hands on, and remains a stalwart fan of Star Wars: The Clone Wars even though the entire series makes them cry.
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T.C. Smith, Song of the Wolf
