Three to one, p.37
Three To One, page 37
“And it resides safely under the umbrella of the unknowable?”
“Nothing is impossible for God, but for most of us, the veil between the here and the hereafter is opaque.”
That got the professor’s attention. He leaned forward, lowered his voice to a near-whisper.
“You said most of us. Does that mean you also have spoken to people who have returned from beyond that veil?”
“What?” Father John asked.
The fact that the restaurant was mostly empty made Peregrine feel exposed. Like there was a bright spotlight shining on him. He knew he had no business being here. And he couldn’t be any more conspicuous. A single guy, half everyone else’s age, sitting by himself.
A few other tables were in use, small groups, mostly. People dining, laughing, enjoying each other’s company. And here one misfit, spending money on a nice meal, so he could eat alone. Pathetic. He felt like everyone must be talking about him. The laughter sounded like taunting. He knew it was irrational. They were absorbed in their own conversations, not paying attention to him. Well, except for the occasional glance, someone looking at him for a second, then looking away.
It wasn’t that he minded eating alone. He always had, in middle school, high school, and college. But by this age, most people had overcome their awkwardness, and learned how to socialize.
It was a mistake coming here. His rationale had been that if he saw Dove here once before, maybe he could bump into her again, and have a chance to explain. But what if it worked? A very public meeting, in violation of a court order. That carried a lot of risk. It would be worth it, if he got to see Dove. He must be losing his mind. How would it be worth it? Would he think that if he was sitting in prison? Too bad it hadn’t worked. Should have tried the pizza house.
He paid his check and headed for the door. Everyone in the place was staring at him. At least it felt like it. Maybe they were. That’s the same way he felt the last time he left here. The cool air outside felt good. His face was hot. The breeze was cooling little beads of perspiration. He wanted to get away from the restaurant as quickly as possible. He thought of Dove and felt sick. Where was she? How was she dealing with this? That night in the restaurant…had she seen everything? There was a chance she missed the most embarrassing part… It was a possibility, wasn’t it? No. He knew inside, it was not.
She had seen. The horror reflected on her face confirmed it. He wished he could wind back the clock. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Dove. What he wanted, was to be with Dove. To make her happy. To give his life to her. The whole world had caved in on him. The full force of the institute, the American legal system, it felt like all the universe. No, multiple universes. Good grief. All to make sure he could never be with her? Why was this happening to him? Why was it happening to her? It was surreal, right out of some cheap novel about star-crossed lovers. He never liked that kind of sappy literature, and now he was wading right through the middle of it in real life.
The street was empty. He was glad. He didn’t want to be around people. He wanted to go home, lock his door, and be invisible. The world wouldn’t be a bad place to live if it weren’t for the people. Okay, he thought. Now you’re being cynical. There are plenty of good people. What about Dad? And Dove? And… Dad was great. And … there was Dove… You really don’t need a lot of people. Just one or two strong relationships would be plenty.
The sound of footsteps. Behind him. He kept walking, listening for a minute. Yes, there was another person walking. Not too close, but another solo person. He wanted to turn around and look, but he resisted. He decided to cross the street. The parking structure was up another block, and there was a little park bordered by a nice sidewalk to his left. The street was empty, so he crossed over. As he crossed, he glanced left. A dark figure stopped abruptly, started window shopping. Odd. The sign said, “Around in Eighty Days Travel.” Window shopping at a travel agency?
It gave Peregrine a chance to look him over. He looked like a young teenager. Slight build, but dressed in dark clothing, with long, unkempt hair. Not much to go on. It wasn’t the homeless guy, Perry. This guy was smaller, looked younger. But why would somebody else be following him? What young kid would have a reason to be? He decided the wise thing would be to avoid interacting with him on an empty street on a dark night. He was small, but he might have a weapon. Peregrine walked past deserted children’s play equipment, and a few benches on his left. He hurried along, moving at a brisk walk, and kept listening. No more footsteps. Good.
At the next corner, he had to cross a four lane street, so he casually looked around, glancing back in the direction he had come. The teenager slipped into the park and stood beside a tree. Was his imagination running away with him? Surely this person wasn’t following him.
If he was a mugger, he would do it differently, wouldn’t he? Come up asking for loose change, or asking if he knew what time it was, then catch him off guard while they were talking. Or, just be direct, pull out his weapon, and demand money. But this guy was sneaking, moving along with him, trying to close the distance.
The traffic was light, so Peregrine hurried across four lanes. He got to the parking structure; thankful he had parked on the first level. He had his keys ready, and in a moment, was in the car, the door locked, backing out of the space. He felt impatient and vulnerable while he was paying his fee at the kiosk. No sign of the guy.
As soon as the gate opened, he drove out onto the street, turning right, past the end of the little park. In his peripheral vision, he caught only a glimpse, but it was unmistakable. In a deep shadow, two narrowed eyes peering out at him, a hard face, a determined scowl.
October 29
It isn’t an easy thing to engineer an “accidental” meeting with someone on campus. But Peregrine had to try. Communicating electronically was out of the question, because of legal considerations. She had not been coming to class. She had not been at the library any of the times he checked. His freezer was full of pizza take-out boxes. It was driving him crazy. He had to talk with her, no matter what. He knew it was a risk. He could get fired. He could go to jail. Worse than that, she might completely rebuff him.
He would prefer not to speak with her on campus, but if they were seen together off campus, it would be viewed as an intentional rebellion against the ethics committee, and a clear violation of the court order. That would be the end of his life as he knew it. So, an accidental meeting on campus would have to suffice. The streets and halls were bustling, students busy arranging important social events, like beer pong in the dorms. There she was, coming out of her dorm building. Peregrine quickened his pace to get within earshot.
“Excuse me, Dove?”
“Yes?”
She turned toward him with a mixed expression. She was holding back, being cautious, but he thought he saw a glint of hope in her eyes.
“I want to try to explain myself.”
She looked down, sad, hurt.
“Dove, you know Professor Blumstein saw us together at the pizza parlor.”
“Yes, we talked about it.”
“And the night I was coming out of your dorm room, she saw me then, too.”
“Oh. I wasn’t aware of that. That probably looked bad.”
“I’m afraid so. It sent Professor Blumstein into a tirade. She had already filed a formal complaint against me, but the ethics committee let it pass with only a warning. Then the dorm incident gave her more than enough leverage to have me censured and placed on probation. She’s trying to get me fired.”
“Uhm…I’m afraid it is worse than that,” she said. “She called my dad and misrepresented the nature of our… friendship.”
“I know,” he said. “I assumed it was her that riled up your father. All I know for sure is that I’ve got a ticked off Viking on my hands…”
She giggled a little. “Oh. Wow, I’m sorry,” she said. “I know it isn’t funny, but the way you said it...”
“It’s okay. I was intentionally introducing levity.”
“Professor, I’m really sorry that all of this has happened.” She looked down, ashamed, and said “I heard you were arrested?”
“Yes, actually. The state is bringing charges against me.”
“I am so sorry. I had no idea I would cause you so much trouble.”
“Not your fault. Students are not supposed to be aware of these rules and regulations. That is the responsibility of the professor.”
“Oh. Ouch. Complicated.”
“Yes. I want you to understand, Dove, in no way was I trying to take advantage of my position as your professor. Neither am I talking to you now, to dissuade you from pressing the charges that have been filed. I just want you to know that my intentions have been pure, and genuine. I genuinely like you, and I have… feelings for you.”
She looked down, and away, as if she didn’t know what to say.
“I saw you with that older woman in the restaurant.”
“I know. That was so embarrassing. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Well, it did hurt. Who is she?”
“Dove, please understand. The full weight of the law is coming down on me. For me to even see you is a violation of a court order. This conversation we are having now could land me in jail.”
“Sorry.”
He shook his head, waving off.
“I’m not looking for an apology. I’m trying to explain. I felt I had no option but to try to establish a relationship which would not constitute a breach of ethics or a violation of the law.”
“Oh. I see.” She paused. It seemed as though she were deciding what to say next. “How did you meet her?”
“I… I went on an internet matching site.”
“You did?”
“Yes. I went out on two dates. Both were disasters. It was very embarrassing.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Dove… I learned something from the experience.”
She looked up at him, sad eyes shining.
“Dove, I don’t want anyone else. I only care about you.”
Her eyes filled with tears. Her little chin started to tremble.
“Dove, I will give up anything, sacrifice anything, in order to be with you. Please forgive me. I love you.”
She started to cry. And smile. After a moment, she giggled. She soft punched him on the arm. Then she grew serious.
“But Professor…” she said, “You are going to have to explain all of that to my dad.”
“Daddy?”
“Hey, little Bird,” he said. His heart felt a rush of joy at hearing her.
“Daddy, I couldn’t wait to call you. Is it too late?”
“No, of course not,” he said. “I was just having a bowl of cereal, sorting some things in my mind. I was thinking of you, to tell the truth. How are you?”
“Oh, Daddy, I’ve never been better.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Daddy. Isn’t it funny, how one moment life looks so bleak, and the next moment, the sun comes out, and everything is all rainbows and glitter?”
“Uhm… Yeah… I think I can kind of …”
“Well, that’s how it is right now, Daddy. Everything went from dark to light, all at once.”
“What happened, Dove?”
“I talked to Peregrine.”
“Peregrine?”
“Yes, Professor Faulk. He is just the sweetest thing that’s ever happened to me, Daddy.”
“Oh.”
He couldn’t think of anything to say. He wanted to kill him, for manipulating his little girl in this way.
“Daddy? Say something, please.”
“Okay, Bird. I’m listening, trying to understand what you are telling me.”
“I’m telling you that I’m in Love, Daddy. I’m certain of it. Of all the boys on this earth, Peregrine is the only one for me. I want to spend my life with him. I want to raise children together. I want to be so close, we become one person.”
“Dove?”
“Yes Daddy?”
“Baby, I’m… happy for you. I really am. Nothing brings me joy like seeing a smile on your face. I want you to be happy. I want you to live a wonderful, fairy-tale life.”
“Thank you, Daddy. I love you.”
“I love you too, bird.”
There was another long pause on the phone. His mind was racing. He needed to ask some questions, but he needed to ask them in a way that would not be perceived as him raining on her parade.
“Is everything alright, Daddy?”
“Sure, yes. Of course. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Daddy, anything.”
“Well, Dove, last time I talked to you, you were so hurt.”
“That is what’s so great, Daddy. It was all one big misunderstanding. Peregrine cares deeply for me. He loves me. He’s very shy, but I could see it in his eyes. Finally, he came right out and said it. If it weren’t for all this legal trouble, I know we could be truly happy together.”
“Oh.”
“We love all the same things, we listen to the same music, we have the same intellectual interests, and I’ve never felt like this about any boy, ever. And oh, my gosh, I have such a crush on him. I’m smitten, absolutely. He is the one true love of my life, Daddy, I’m sure of it.”
“That’s… swell, little bird. I’m really happy for… Wait. You said… boy?”
“Well, okay, technically, legally, he is a man, but you know, he’s only two years older than me, and he is just so cute.”
Chris felt his guts turn cold.
“Two years?”
“Yes, isn’t it silly Daddy? All this trouble over 21 months of age difference?”
“Hey, listen sweetheart,” he said, “I’ve really got to run now. I’ve got to… set up an important meeting for tomorrow.”
“This late?”
“It’s important, Bird. I love you.”
“Love you too, Daddy. Isn’t life just wonderful?”
“Yeah, Dove. It’s great. It’s nice to hear you happy.”
“Ok, Daddy. I’ve got to go too. Love you.”
“Love you too, Dove.”
As he hung up the phone, he tasted bile in the back of his throat.
“Hello, this is Professor Faulk.”
“Professor, Loretta. We’ve got to talk. Can we meet?”
“Okay. Is everything alright, Loretta?”
“I’ve realized we have a huge flaw in our primary hypothesis. Actually, multiple flaws.”
“I hesitate to ask, but what are the implications?”
“Impossible to know. Meet me at the coffee shop in twenty minutes.”
“Uh… Could we not do the coffee shop again? The place still gives me the creeps.”
“Okay, the picnic table next to the physics building.”
“Alright. I’ll head that way right now.”
Loretta was pacing back and forth beside the picnic table, arms folded across her chest, scowling at the ground.
“Loretta? Are you alright?”
“This has nothing to do with me. I don’t matter. None of us do. We’ve got to think on a much larger scale. Everything we thought we might have figured out?” She moved her hands to show the shape of a mushroom cloud explosion.
“Loretta, let’s sit down, shall we?”
“I can’t sit down. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I spent the night coming to the realization that we haven’t even begun to understand this thing.”
“Okay,” said Peregrine. “Help me out. Give me an entry point.”
“Okay,” said Loretta. She stopped to take a deep cleansing breath.
“There isn’t a lot we know about the universe, really, when you boil it down. But we have learned some things, enough to be reasonably confident in their reliability.” She was agitated, anxious, talking ninety miles an hour.
“O-kay…” said Peregrine, trying to slow the pace. “Give me an example of one thing we know to be reliable.”
Loretta took another cleansing breath.
“Okay,” she said. She was shaking a little. Not at all herself today.
“One thing we know,” she said, trying to be calm, “is that there are recognizable patterns of organization in nature.”
Peregrine nodded.
“Once you learn those patterns, you see them repeated everywhere, over and over and over.”
“For example…”
“For example, the universe is made up of…” She paused to look for a word. He had never seen her do that before. Not once.
“Think of an atom. You have a nucleus, made up of protons and neutrons. Essentially a dense center surrounded by vast space, where much smaller bits of matter exist.”
“Okay, I’m with you.”
“When you look at our solar system, you will notice that there is a dense cluster of matter at the center, our star, which we inexplicably call the Sun, and next there is a great void of empty space. Thirty-six million miles of it, roughly.”
“Right. That’s a lot of empty space,” said Peregrine.
“Yes, and next you have the orbit of Mercury. A relatively small, dense compact of matter, then another vast expanse of empty space. Thirty-one million miles worth. And then you have Venus. Another twenty-six million miles of empty space, and you find us, here on planet earth.”
“So, you are saying that the repeating pattern is a dense center, surrounded by vast amounts of space which contains much smaller bits of matter.”
“Exactly. And that pattern is observable in all scales of the universe, from the sub-atomic level, to galaxies, to galaxy clusters, even super clusters of galaxy clusters. Anywhere you look, the physical universe displays a similar organizational system.”
“Okay,” said Peregrine, “Got it.”
“Now you see the problem,” said Loretta.
“Uhm… actually, you might still be a bit ahead of me. Give me a little more to work with.”
“The sinkhole theory!” She made a broad, dismissive wave with her hand. “It’s completely unworkable.”
Peregrine looked at her. She was very agitated. This was clearly a disturbing thought for her. He felt like he was losing the game of catch up.
