Shades of dominatioe rom.., p.67
Shades of Domination: Fifty by Fifty #2: A Billionaire Romance Boxed Set, page 67
“I don’t know, Alexander. I really don’t.” My hand reached up for him once more before I could stop it. “I never really knew what you felt about me. You were always so…you.”
“I was nice!”
His offense brought out my genuine smile. “You were nice to everyone. That was the problem.”
“Maybe, but I was always nicest to you.”
Our present circumstances faded as we both went swam through our shared memories. “I couldn’t tell. I just thought you were polite because you knew for years that I liked you.”
Alexander’s snort preceded a hearty laugh. “Woman, everyone back home knew that. You did very little to hide it.” He sat back down, knee by my chin, and coaxed my head to lie on his thigh. He threaded his fingers through my hair, rubbing his thumb against my scalp in soothing movements. “You’re hell bound and determined to dig up the past right now, aren’t you?”
“I just need to talk about it.”
“Fine. We haven’t gone over what I expect from you yet so I won’t punish you for pushing. Just know I won’t tolerate this from you in the future.”
At another time I was sure my barbed tongue would’ve run away from me, but his fingers coaxed me to say rather sweetly, “I can’t wait to tell you what I won’t tolerate from you in the future.”
“Oh, Miss Carter, I can’t even begin to tell you how I’m not looking forward to hearing that list. Maybe I’ll find some creative way to forever distract you…”
And I couldn’t even begin to allow my imagination to wander far but what I saw stunned me with visceral lust. I yearned to stay beneath his hand like this forever.
“Don’t go to sleep on me now, Sophia.”
I blinked slowly and sighed even slower. “It just feels so good, Alexander.” I didn’t even have to look up at him to know I had pleased him.
“I know it does, little chick.” Alexander gently coaxed me to share the genesis of my questions. To do that, we needed to go to a place far from here and this high-rise. We needed to go back there.
“What do you think of me when you think of home?” I asked softly.
11
Present Day: Five Hours Before
I sat in the restaurant booth feeling like a colorless butterfly pinned to a board.
“Aren’t you hungry, Sophia?”
I smiled at Alexander, a hurried and nervous movement of muscle, and took a sip of my tea. “Sure I am.”
Alexander snatched a fry off my plate and popped it into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully and nodded. “Yes, it’s very good.” He reached for my burger and took a large bite. After swallowing, he declared, “This is good too. No complaints here.”
I stared at him and sputtered, “What are you doing? You have your own food!”
“True, but you weren’t eating. I had to see why.”
“I think it’s pretty obvious why.”
“Not to me. Tell me why you’re so quiet, Sophia.”
I looked away, lips immediately pressed into a frown. Alexander sighed and got up.
“Scoot over.” He barely waited for me to comply before he bumped his hip against mine. Alexander pulled his plate and drink over and began eating.
Nostalgia tickled. I remembered how he often sat next to me even before we started dating in high school. At first I’d be so nervous I could barely eat. The present situation was much the same.
“Eat, Sophia. We’ll talk afterwards.”
“You’re still bossy, you know?” I muttered while picking up a fry. Alexander reached over me and plucked a bottle of ketchup. He opened it with a quick twist and poured a healthy dollop onto my plate.
“And you’re still cagey as ever.” He held up an onion ring, waving it back and forth beneath my nose. “Want one?”
I took it before I gave myself a chance to say no. “Thanks.” I then held up one of my fries which he accepted with a snap of his perfect white teeth. It was flirtatious and normal for us. Or the us we used to be.
I was instantly charmed. Happy even.
We spent the rest of the meal in companionable silence, speaking only to respond to requests of passing napkins or salt. I had always missed this side of us, but never was it more clear than just sitting next to him and sharing our food with unconscious ease.
Finally, after swallowing the last bite of burger, I found my nervousness returned full-force. Especially because Alexander watched me, cheek resting on his palm and small, secret grin firmly in place.
“I want some pie. You up for it?”
Although his words were innocent, I immediately put a lusty spin on them. I yanked a menu towards me and scanned the small print feverishly. “I’d like some chocolate cream pie.”
“Cream pie…mmm…that sounds good.”
My gaze darted over to him. His bland expression contrasted against the wicked gleam in his eye. I could feel color hurriedly dust all over my cheeks. I didn’t want to run the risk of reading too much into Alexander’s subtext but two innuendos in a row?
Best to pretend it didn’t happen. At least for now. Lord knew I was going to go over every moment a million times tonight.
I slid the menu over to him. “They serve apple.”
Alexander glanced down. “Sounds good.” He called the waitress over and gave our order. Alexander then resumed his previous position, looking completely at ease. “Now it’s time we talked.”
“Sure,” I answered with a friendly but lying smile. “Do you want to talk about MLM?”
“Not in the least bit.”
“Oh. Well, what you would like to talk about?” I asked a bit deflated.
“How have you been, Sophia?”
Miserable, desperate, and lying to the world because I pretended very well that I’m not all of those things.
Could I have said the words to him? Never. It was bad enough that I thought them. I didn’t have to birth them to life. I pasted my automatic grin that meant nothing but everything when perpetuating a lie.
“Good. I’ve been good. And you?”
“Adequate.”
“More than adequate from what I’ve heard.” I neatly mirrored his position by propping my chin on my palm. “Mr. Bazillionaire and World Conqueror.”
“Mr. Bazillionaire?” Alexander raised his eyebrows comically. “That’s one I haven’t been called yet. Wunderkind, Tech Baron of the Valley, and Pompous Ass—sure. Mr. Bazillionaire—no. I should update my profile and put that one at the top.”
I laughed. Everything seemed so normal at the moment. It was like how it was the first time around for us. Smiles, teasing, and incredible sweetness.
Alexander had been my favorite person in the whole world and I loved him so much. I really thought it would be forever. I could’ve no more dreamed of ever hurting or leaving this man than I could’ve stopped breathing.
But I hurt him. Plenty.
Pain slithered about my chest, tenderizing my heart. I tried not to focus on it.
“Make sure you credit it to me and not to your slick PR machine.”
“Of course.” Alexander poked my arm. “Tell me more about what’s been going on with you.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Just working, building up my career.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
Alexander leaned closer and whispered, “Your ring finger’s bare. Any chance that’ll change anytime soon?”
“If that’s your clumsy way of asking me if I’m seeing someone then the answer is ‘No, I’m not.’”
“Glad to hear it.” Alexander’s gaze didn’t contain a hint of anything other than sincerity.
“You’re a mean man, Mr. Draven, to be glad over that.”
“Not mean enough to say I’m ecstatic over the news.”
I shook my head, heart pain dulled by a warm belly and body tingling from the excitement of hearing him say those words. “And what about you?”
“What about me?” he asked coyly.
“You’re going to make me say it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Fine. I won’t ask then.” I sat up and looked straight ahead.
Alexander bumped my shoulder with his. “C’mon…ask me…you know you want to.”
“Nope. Don’t even care.”
He placed one finger on my chin and nudged it until I looked back at him. “Your words still know exactly where to cut, little chick.”
I tumbled off the internal wall I’d erected. Alexander’s face, so familiar and beloved, was only inches away. I could end the distance between us by leaning forward. My body swayed closer. I ached to kiss him, to find out if his lips were just as sweet as I remembered.
“Here’s your dessert. An apple pie for the gent and chocolate cream pie for the lady. Do you folks need anything else?”
Alexander’s hand left my face. He looked away from me to smile and warmly thank the waitress. “No, we’re good. Thank you very much, ma’am.”
I reached for my spoon, desperately trying to calm my nerves and pretend the last thirty seconds hadn’t happened the way I remembered them. For if they had then it would mean Alexander wanted to be back in my life and maybe, just maybe, we could pick up where we left off.
No, that’s just wishful thinking on my part. We’ve been apart for almost a decade. If Alexander had been pining over me he wouldn’t have just waited until today to talk to me. He’s just being polite…nostalgic…who knows?
“Can I have a bite?”
“Sure.” I pushed the small plate towards him. He plucked the spoon out of my hand.
“Gonna make me get it myself, huh?” Alexander grumbled as he stabbed into the pudding.
It was too intimate, too familiar. Too painful. I grabbed his wrist before the spoon could enter his mouth. “What are you doing?”
“Eating.”
“No, what are you really doing here with me?”
“Eating,” he drawled with a lilt suggesting I was asking the obvious.
“Why aren’t you using your spoon?”
“We shared utensils before. What difference does it make now? Unless you’ve become a germaphobe?”
I couldn’t believe he was being that dense. Not someone as sharp as him. “Alexander, I haven’t seen you in almost ten years and now you come riding in with your posse and save the day.”
“Most people would say ‘thank you’ and appreciate they didn’t have to pound the pavement looking for another job.”
I let go of his wrist, feeling unaccountably guilty for not giving one word of thanks, before brushing it off. After all, it wasn’t as if Alexander had done it specifically for me.
“Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about!”
“Then why don’t you speak clearly and stop dancing around the subject?”
“Fine. Why single me out for lunch, Alexander?”
12
He sighed and set the spoon down, food uneaten. “Maybe because I’m happy to see you again, Sophia. It seems it was just me though, huh?”
I looked away from him and turned my distracted attention out the window. If I was smart, I’d get up and walk right out of the diner. “It wasn’t just you.”
“Then what’s the problem? Do you still hate me that much?”
My heart lurched in my chest. Bittersweet memories flooded my system. “No, Alexander. I don’t hate you at all. I never really did and that was the problem.”
“Look at me.”
I shook my head, irrationally afraid of what he would see in my face if I turned to look at him.
Alexander leaned close, overwhelming my smaller body with his much larger frame. “Look at me.”
Something about his low whisper reached in and forced my compliance. My body halfway turned before I could stop it.
Sadness glimmered in his gaze. He feathered his thumb along to the top of my cheekbone. “How are we going to fix this?”
I indulged my weaker side. I leaned into his caress, remembering it as one of his favorites. “You don’t have to fix me, Alexander. I’m not your burden or responsibility. Everything that happened between us was a long time ago, right? We were both so young and...”
Young and stupid and I was so damned insecure the second time around that I ran away from you before you got a chance to run from me.
I cleared my throat and found words to replace the ones I couldn’t say out loud. “And things happen. Besides, it’s in the past.”
He rested his forehead on mine. “But it’s not in the past, is it? Nothing between us ever really was. And it’s not so long ago that I’ve forgotten what we meant to each other.”
“Alexander…”
His hand settled onto the back of my neck like a collar. “Ask me, Sophia. Go on—ask me.”
I didn’t need clarification. I knew what he meant. Licking my dry lips, I whispered, “Are you seeing anybody?”
“No,” he replied just as softly.
“Oh, okay.”
“Think about what that means,” he commanded before pulling away. “Your pie’s going to get runny and my ice cream’s just about melted. Let’s finish this up so we can be on our way.”
I took a deep breath, lifted up my spoon, and held it out. “I stopped you. Here, try some.”
Alexander looked at me and smiled, so sweet and tender that I had the sudden urge to lay my head down and cry.
He took a bite and sighed, “It’s good. Very, very good.”
We finished our dessert in silence. When it was time to go, Alexander stood up and held his hand out to help me out of the booth. I didn’t hesitate in taking it. When his fingers curled around mine and didn’t let go, I didn’t fight it. And when Alexander lifted our entwined hands up to his mouth and kissed my fingertips, I didn’t pull away.
Our silence continued on the ride back to MLM. Once in the deck, I made to get out as soon as he parked the car. Alexander stopped me with one hand.
“Sophia.”
“Yes?” My high-pitched voice thrummed with restrained excitement. I tried again, careful to modulate my tone. “What is it, Alexander?”
“Lunch wasn’t long enough to hash out when we needed to. I’ll need you to stay late and come see me after six. I’m in the CEO’s office.”
“Sure. Do you want me to bring Mark?”
Alexander warm gaze frosted. “Absolutely not.”
“I see.” I did and I liked what I saw. “You don’t want to talk MLM business then.”
“No.”
“Okay.” My body pulsed with forbidden excitement. Giddiness made me suddenly want to laugh. I controlled myself by the slimmest of margins.
Once we got out Alexander walked me to the garage elevator but didn’t step in with me. “Aren’t you coming up?”
“No. I’ll be up later.”
I felt like an awkward teenage girl again. I barely resisted the urge to tuck my hair behind my ear. “You know Mark is going to grill me about my lunch with you.”
“Really? What are you going to tell him?”
“Just that we were catching up on small town gossip.”
Alexander remained quiet, dark gaze inscrutable. I sensed he wasn’t entirely pleased with my answer. “Okay, I’ll see you after six.” I pressed the 7th floor button.
Alexander kept the doors from closing. “Come here, Sophia.”
I stepped forward, nervous and curious. “What is it?” He regarded me in silence, his gaze suddenly filled with something so close to love that I couldn’t help but let my emotions bubble to the surface.
“Did you enjoy your lunch with me, Sophia?”
I nodded, unable to speak for the longing to touch Alexander again.
“I enjoyed it too.” He smiled and let go of the doors. “Be a good girl and go to work, little chick. We’ll talk soon.”
The silvered doors slid shut, giving me the privacy to sag against the wall.
I shouldn’t want to feel this love but I did. God knows I did.
13
Present Day and Time
“What do you think of me when you think of home?”
My words hung in the air. Courage faltered, leaving me to wish that I could take them back.
Alexander’s hand petted me, going from the top of my crown to the bottom of my hair in long, steady strokes. It felt divine. My shoulders lost some of their tension as I relaxed my body against his leg. Only then did he speak.
“The truth?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t quite place you as a stalker, but I think you would’ve come close to meeting the current definition of one, don’t you? Every where I went, there you were. Like a little chick trailing after her momma.”
I frowned, wishing I could share in his teasing amusement in how he came up with my nickname. All I could think of was that time “back then” was when I had unequivocally, positively, and for the rest of eternity been innocently insane for Alexander.
Even my mother, the very one who had unceremoniously turned me over to my grandmother before leaving town with Alexander Whitman Draven Sr., had cautioned me to “have some dignity and pride” when it came to mooning over his son Alexander Monroe Draven II.
“A man likes a woman to have a bit of spine, Sophia. You left yours somewhere yonder. Must get that from your daddy because you sure as hell didn’t get it from me.”
“I’m sorry. Even now it’s so embarrassing. I can’t imagine how much trouble I caused for you.”
“Aww, don’t be sad, Sophia. It was cute.” He tipped my chin up. “I eventually thought you would’ve dropped me once some jock got your attention. There was one in particular who wanted you to be his girl, remember?”
“I didn’t want a jock. I wanted you. I wanted to be your girl.”
And I still do.
I flushed, going hot and cold over how badly I needed all of Alexander. Why was I surprised? My body had already adjusted. It probably happened as soon as I had heard he was coming back into my life.
Did I ever really think I could be in the same room with him and not need him? Alexander was my obsession, one I thought I could push off into the dank corners of my mind when I wanted to pretend I was normal.
A great big game of pretend which I played rather well.
