All these things and more flooded my brain.

  Not having any answers scared me, maybe more than anything. But one thing was clear. Nothing would ever be the same again.

  ◆◆◆

  After some time, I turned and made my way up the beach, then realized with a start that I wasn’t alone. Sometime during my mini breakdown, a small group of people had started a bonfire.

  I watched as several guys lugged coolers onto the beach, and they began collecting driftwood for a fire. Then two girls ran down the dunes, and I recognized them—Tasha and Olivia. Not exactly the people I felt like running into.

  The familiar peel of Olivia’s laughter drifted toward me, a warning that if I didn’t want to be seen, I’d better hurry and get off the beach while they were distracted with setting up what was clearly going to be a small beach party. But it was too late because her eyes locked on mine just as I started for the stairs.

  “Guys, it’s Mia,” Olivia announced.

  I froze, sighing inwardly as I glanced over at them with a smile and a half-hearted wave.

  When she called me over, I hesitated, but ultimately, I went because it wasn’t like I could ignore them. Turning back, I trudged through the sand toward them and came to a stop in front of Olivia, who looked far better in a baggy hoodie and skinny jeans than anyone had a right to.

  “Hey, having a party?” I asked, hoping I could make a minute of small talk and then bail.

  “Yeah,” Olivia said. “Wanna stay a minute and hang?”

  “I can’t,” I said, more grateful than ever I had a convenient excuse to leave. I hooked a thumb back toward the walkway. “I’ve got to deliver the packages for the Angel Program. I’m actually meeting Carson in a few minutes, so I have to get going.”

  “Carson?” Olivia scrunched her nose, and I wanted to tell her it was unattractive

  “Yeah. Remember? It was our remediation project.”

  “No, I know that, but it’s just. . .” She grinned, and something vicious glinted in her eye—sharp and lethal—a warning for me to brace myself. “I ran into Carson this morning. He was at the pool swimming, and I saw him in the lot on his way out. We went to lunch, and then I invited him to the party. He said he’d come.” Olivia shrugged and reached out, placing a hand on my arm, her smile saccharine. “Looks like you’ll be delivering packages alone.”

  So, that’s where he was this morning. When he was supposed to be grocery shopping with me for the Angel families, he was out with Olivia. Nice. I wonder where he was yesterday when I met with Mrs. Parks too.

  I fisted my hands at my side, letting the information wash over me. “I’m sure he’ll be there. He probably just meant he was stopping by after,” I said, trying to save face. “He wouldn’t do that to me—leave me to everything alone.”

  Olivia gasped theatrically, covering her mouth with one hand, then reached out again to squeeze my arm. “Oh, honey. That’s so sweet. You think he cares about you, don’t you?”

  I clenched my teeth, saying nothing.

  “I’m sorry, but maybe you shouldn’t reach quite so high, you know. I’m your friend, so I want to be real with you. You’re nice, and cute and all, but guys like Carson, they go out with girls like me. I’d hate to see you get hurt. Just try to stay in your lane, hun.”

  I glanced away, biting my tongue, and struggling to conjure a smile, to put on a brave face. The best thing I could do was thank her for the advice like I normally would, then move on. It was simpler that way. But I was tired of swallowing down my emotions, tired of easy, and sick of getting steamrolled. Maybe self-restraint was overrated.

  “You know, Olivia, for someone so pretty, you’re so ugly when you open your mouth.” I smiled one of her trademark plastic smiles—equal parts malicious and disingenuous—then ripped her hand off my arm.

  Olivia’s eyes widened, and her face turned red. Clearly, she wasn’t used to people telling her off.

  But it felt oh-so-good. I made her angry. Or embarrassed her. Or both.

  But I wasn’t done yet. I had years of pent-up aggression, waiting for me to give it a voice.

  I stepped forward and poked her in the chest. “You know what I think? I think Carson turned you down.” I had no idea if that was the case. He probably hadn’t, and I was an idiot for saying it, but something deep down told me it was true. Olivia and Tasha always seemed to get what they wanted, but I had seen the way Carson looked at her at The Bean and then at his party. Like it was a chore just being around her.

  “That’s ridiculous.” She flipped her bleached-out hair over her shoulder, but she wouldn’t meet my eye.

  “Is it? Because you all but told him you wanted him to ask you to the Snowflake Ball, but he didn’t, did he?”

  Her mouth opened and closed like a beached Flounder in the most satisfying way.

  “That’s what I thought,” I said and figured if I wanted to make my exit, this was as good a time as any.

  I turned my back to her and started up the dunes toward the walkway when she called out behind me, “You can’t just talk to me like that!”

  When I said nothing, she continued, “I didn’t want to go to the stupid dance with him anyway!” Then I heard her and Tasha conversing, the word “loser” sprinkled in their conversation, but I didn’t care because my feet were hitting the wooden planks in a steady cadence, shoulders back, head lifted high. I told my parents what I thought. I stood up to Olivia. And it felt good.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  The adrenaline from my encounter with Olivia was short-lived.

  I stood in the chilly air, waiting outside the Brooks’ home, with no sign of Carson in sight.

  The thought crossed my mind that Olivia had been telling the truth. Maybe he was on his way to the beach that very second.

  Talk about eating crow.

  No, I told myself. I couldn’t think like that. Even if Carson did stand me up and go to the party on the beach, it didn’t negate the things I said to Olivia. They were still true. For the most part.

  When I rang the doorbell one last time and no one answered, I called Ethan. Pressing the phone to my ear, I sighed in relief at the sound of his voice. “’Sup, my lady friend?”

  “You out with Beth?”

  “Yeah, why? What’s up?”

  I sighed. “I guess you don’t know where your brother is, do you?” I asked.

  “Oh, man. He’s not home?” Ethan asked in a gentle voice.

  “If he were home, would I be standing outside your house in the cold waiting on him?”

  “Okay, I sense you’re on the verge of a breakdown. So, deep breath,” he said, inhaling and exhaling loudly into the phone.

  “Ethan!” I stomped my foot even though there was no one to see.

  “Okay, okay. Just trying to help, but I thought he was home before I left. If you need help, Beth and I could come for a bit. Just say the word, and we’re there.”

  Ugh. That’s all I needed was to be a third wheel right now.

  “No. I’m fine, but all the stuff is in your house. I can put everything in my car, but I still need inside to get everything.”

  “Say no more. I’ll text you the code to get in.”

  “Thanks,” I said, wishing I felt more relief. But, really, I hated doing this alone. I hated that Carson hadn’t shown. He was probably at the beach right now, flirting with Olivia.

  “And Mia?”

  I startled, thinking he had already hung up. “Yeah?”

  “I don’t care if he is my brother, I’m kicking his a—”

  “Thanks, Ethan,” I said, cutting him off.

  I hung up and waited as the text came through. Once I punched in the code to the keypad on the side door, I went inside and surveyed the living room. All the boxes Carson and I had packed together were still scattered throughout.

  I made my way toward one and traced my finger over Carson’s sloppy handwriting, and it all hit me. My parents. Carson. Even my confrontation with Olivia stirred a painful ache inside my chest I couldn’t squelch, and the tears I had suppressed all day rose to the surface. Being dateless for the Snowflake Ball was the least of my worries.

  I crouched in front of the boxes labeled “Adams Family” and reached for the first one as a tear slid down my cheek. Wiping it away, I stood, balancing the heavy box in front of me when the front door slammed.

  I turned around, expecting to see Ethan. He had come after all.

  “That was fast. . .” My words trailed off, lost in the lump in my throat. Because it wasn’t Ethan. It was Carson.

  His dark hair was more rumpled than usual, and his cheeks slightly flushed from the cold. He moved closer, coming to stand in front of me. Something about the way he held himself, the way he couldn’t seem to meet my eyes told me he was nervous.

  He reached up and tugged on the drawstrings of his hoodie, looking more adorable than was fair.

  “You came,” I said.

  “Here, let me get that.” He reached for the box, then set it on the ground next to him. Once he stood back up, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his Wild Cat joggers and stared at me. “Were you crying?” he asked, his voice gruff as he reached out and brushed a thumb over my damp cheek.

  “You didn’t show yesterday with Mrs. Parks, then today at Sweet Water Market—”

  “I know. I’m sorry, but I. . .” He paused, glancing to the side as if working something out in his head before turning his blue eyes back to mine. “Do you like my brother, Mia?”

  “Of course I like your brother.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Do you like him like him?”

  “What? No.” I crossed my arms over my chest, a wave of irritation flushing my face.

  “Because I thought you and me. . .” He huffed like speaking was difficult, then growled and raked his hands through his hair, then muttered, “Why is this so hard?”

  The heat of my anger thawed as I took in his expression. He seemed almost desperate when he asked, “Then why’d you kiss him?”

  I frowned. “Why’d I. . .” It took me a second to understand. “What?” I whispered, and all the air rushed from my lungs. It all made sense. He saw us—the thudding noise outside of Ethan’s room must’ve been him. I could’ve sworn I had seen someone.

  “You kissed him. I saw you guys,” he said, confirming my worst fears. “I came to see you, and I went to his room to see if you wanted to hang out, and I saw you kissing.”

  My palms dampened and sweat pricked my back. Of course Carson chose that exact moment—a moment that lasted two seconds—to peek inside Ethan’s room. So, this is why he didn’t show yesterday or this morning. This is why he gave me the cold shoulder and answered none of my calls.

  I would’ve done the same.

  How did I explain this without sounding like a total liar?

  Stepping forward, I pleaded, “I realize how bad that must’ve looked, but—”

  “Do you?” he snapped.

  I dropped my arms, surprised by his tone and the anger churning in his eyes. He could at least let me explain. And then I remembered what Olivia told me.

  “I don’t know why it matters, anyway. Not when you’re ditching me to spend time with Olivia. Tell me. . .when you were supposed to meet Mrs. Parks with me, and then this morning when you were supposed to meet me at the market, where were you? Did you and Olivia have fun laughing at me this morning? Oh, poor, little Mia, getting stood up. How funny.”

  His eyes widened, giving himself away, but I wasn’t done. The tears came back, stinging my eyes with a vengeance. “So why do you care what I do, when you so clearly do whatever you want?”

  He gripped my arms in his hands and yelled, “Because you matter to me. Don’t you get it?”

  I swallowed.

  Silence consumed the air around us. I mattered to him.

  “You’ve always mattered. All these years, the stupid fights, the teasing. . .It was all just a way to get to you.” Carson drew in a shaky breath, then turned around and shoved his hands in his hair, pacing before he pivoted back around to face me. “I thought we had something; you know? I thought”—he shook his head—"I don’t know, like, we were working toward something, and then I go in his room, and I see that, and I—”

  “It was a mistake,” I said, hoping he’d listen. “For the record, Ethan kissed me. I didn’t even kiss him back, and though I admit I was in shock for a second, I pushed him away the moment I even realized what had happened. And it was awful. Like really, really awful.” I grimaced.

  I could only imagine what Ethan would say if he heard me, but it was the truth, and I had to make Carson believe me. “It was like kissing my grandfather,” I said, stealing Ethan’s words.

  I was totally blowing this. If I were Carson, I would never believe me, which meant whatever we had was over. All because of that single moment Ethan decided to become jealous.

  I was going to throttle him.

  I brought my fingers to my temples, panic swelling in my chest. “He apologized afterward and said he was just freaked out because he got jealous of the time we were spending together and how everything was changing. I have never liked Ethan in that way. Not in the nine years I’ve known him. He has always been just a friend to me. I like you.” Then in a softer voice, I mustered my courage and said, “You’re the one I want.”

  His eyes locked on mine.

  “I know it’s crazy,” I said. “I mean, me and Carson Brooks? Who would’ve thought, but I—” His mouth crushed mine, and I had never been more grateful to not have to finish a sentence.

  He kissed me dizzy. Kissed away my words, all my fears. And when he pulled away, his gaze flickered over my face, assessing. “How was that?”

  I exhaled. “I’m not sure.” He frowned in response, and I added, “You better kiss me again. Just to be sure.”

  Then he grinned and kissed me again.

  EPILOGUE

  I smoothed the bodice of my royal-blue velvet dress and smiled. It was a miracle I found one on such short notice, but not only did I find a gown, I found one I loved. It was gorgeous with long, sheer sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. It fit my curves like a glove, and when I walked, the slit gave a peek of my legs and sky-high silver heels.

  My prince paused when he saw me step outside. Based on the slight widening of his eyes and the hitch in his step, I knew I chose well, and I counted off my list of accomplishments in my head.

  Carson mesmerized.

  My very own Prince Charming carrying a bouquet of red roses.

  A date with the most handsome guy at Sweet Water.

  My gaze flickered over his perfectly tailored navy-blue suit and silver tie. His dark hair had been tamed into a stylishly messy quaff, and his blue eyes glittered—brighter than any ocean I’ve ever seen.

  Carson resumed his way up the walkway, his eyes fixed on my face. I smiled at him, and when he finally reached me, he handed me the flowers, then placed a hand on his chest, over his heart and grinned. He shook his head and laughed a little before he leaned in and whispered, “You’re so beautiful, I’m speechless.”

  When he pulled away, it took everything in me not to throw myself at him and kiss the smile off his face, but my parents were watching, so I maintained my dignity—just barely—and said, “Carson Brooks speechless? That’s a first.”

  Smirking, he raised a brow. “Ready?”

  When he reached out, offering me his arm, I nodded, turning briefly to my parents. They stood on either side of me. My father had moved out three days ago—the day after Christmas. It would take me a while to adjust to this new dynamic, but for tonight, I was focusing on the dance, on Carson, on my future.

  I handed my mom the flowers and asked her to put them in water for me, then waved goodbye to them, and hooked my arm in Carson’s, allowing him to escort me to his Jeep. Leaning against the side of it were Ethan and Beth, both dressed in black.

  I smiled at him as we drew near. In the end, he had been right. We both had dates to the Snowflake Ball. My life may still be a mess, but for once, I wasn’t trying to control everything, and I no longer cared what people thought about me. If the last few weeks had taught me anything, it was to live in the moment and enjoy the ride. I couldn’t take responsibility for everything, only my own happiness. In the end, things would be okay. I would be okay.

  When we stopped in front of Carson’s Jeep, Ethan offered his brother a head nod, then turned his smile to me. “Told you we’d find you a date.”

  I laughed, thinking about the day in the gymnasium when I snapped and tried to strangle Carson.

  “What’s so funny?” Carson asked.

  “I can’t believe we’re together.”

  “Me neither, especially after I left that welt on your eye with the basketball. You should’ve seen your face.” He laughed, and I smacked him lightly on the chest.

  “I saw yours,” I shot back. “When I tried to unsuccessfully throttle you.”

  Ethan snorted. “Just think, had Mr. Gorby not pulled you off him, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

  We all laughed, and I added, “Who would’ve thought I’d end up with the boy who tried to drown me when I was nine?”

  Carson opened my door, then rounded the other side. “Hey, I was a kid. It was my way of flirting.”

  He closed his door, and I reached across the seat to grab his tie. I tugged on it, pulling him closer, murmuring against his mouth, “Thank, goodness, your flirting skills have improved over the years, huh?” Then I pressed my mouth to his, sinking into the kiss until Ethan groaned behind us and started banging on the backs of our seats.

  “Come on, guys,” he said. “You promised you’d keep the PDAs to a minimum tonight.”

  “We’re not even in public yet,” Carson protested.

  “There are two other people in this car, so it counts as public domain.”

  When Carson grumbled, I laughed. He turned the keys in the ignition and started the engine. “Wait!” I screamed.

  Carson jerked in his seat. “What?”

  “You just about gave me a heart attack,” Ethan whined.

 

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