It started with a list, p.2
It Started with a List, page 2
“I think the infielders need to work more on hand-eye coordination. Wallace was all over the place today.” Lazarus rubbed his nose before looking to the left at a poster.
Coach narrowed his eyes at him. The two didn’t speak before he placed the sheet of paper on the desk in front of him.
“I was thinking more like this.”
Lazarus leaned forward. It was the same document with blaring red letters that student services had sent him a few days earlier. He could feel Coach watching his face, and he morphed his expression into confusion.
“Wow, I can’t explain this—” A grin slid in and Lazarus quickly corrected it. Confused, he was supposed to appear confused.
“What do you mean, you can’t explain this? Do you know what this means for the team, Lazarus?”
“It’s just one little class. I’m not failing all my classes.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s just one little class. It’s a class you’re failing. Something you told me would be fixed after that warning last semester. What happened?”
Lazarus sighed and relaxed into the chair. A grimace passed over his face as he shifted his legs as best he could. “I tried my hardest, I really did.”
“Obviously not.”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s freaking dead dudes writing whole… poetry dissertations about the sun or dead lovers. How is it helping anyone to learn that?”
“It’s a literature class, Lazarus. All you do is read and write a response. You can’t even do that?” Coach Maverick rubbed his mustache as he looked at the paper and let out a long breath. “You know I’m going to have to bench you.”
“No.”
“Yes, you know the requirement that all athletes have to follow. You must pass all your classes in order to play.”
If he didn’t have baseball, he had nothing else to live for. No matter how much fun he had, he disciplined himself about his baseball. It was his only constant.
“Don’t bench me, coach. This is my last season! Please!” Lazarus clasped his hands together as he leaned against the desk, ignoring the feeling of his muscles aching.
Coach Maverick twisted his lips. “You know the rules, Gilbert; I don’t make them. Just enforce them.”
Lazarus swallowed, clenching and unclenching his fist.
These last few months you’ve been out of whack.” Coach’s eyebrows drew together. Out of whack was saying it nicely. The crippling fear of not knowing what was next had hit him at a family dinner. Since his parents retired, taken the pet dog, and gone road-tripping cross the country, they left it up to one of his older brothers still in-state to keep up the Sunday dinners. Harvey, vice president of marketing at a fitness protein bar company and the second oldest, was the one to take up the mantle. During dinner he shot Lazarus a look over pasta and said:
“Are you done playing that game? What are you going to do next?”
Harvey didn’t see what Lazarus’s deal with baseball was. He told Lazarus most athletes peaked at thirty. That was in seven years. Lazarus had barely anything in his savings.
The fact was, Lazarus was torn about what to do next. He loved baseball. He would always love it, but he wanted something different. He just didn’t know what that was, and with Harvey breathing down his neck to take the boring office job at his company, he had to decide fast.
What were his strengths? People. Organizing. He could throw a helluva good party. He even toyed with event management. He’d been in charge of the last three fundraising galas for the baseball team, but when he told Harvey, he shook his head and said, “Be realistic. Do something that our parents would be proud of. Party planning is just nonstop partying. Grow up.”
It was hard to think of what else would impress his parents. His mother had been a scientist and his father a judge. Out of the five sons so far, they had a lawyer, doctor, VP, and a mathematician-turned-landscaper. A landscaper wasn’t impressive, but his brother owned the company. What could he do to equal their success?
Lazarus ran a hand across his face, suddenly even more tired than before, and said, “I’ve just been catching up with last-minute things I want to do.”
He had unadulterated respect and gratitude for Coach Maverick. He’d grown under his guidance from that immature freshman who wanted to do nothing but party to someone who was almost figuring out his life.
Coach smacked his lips as he picked up a pen and tapped it against the desk. “I hope these things were worth it. You failed last semester. You’re failing again and if you don’t get it right, you won’t graduate.”
The chair creaked under the coach’s weight as he tossed the pen and leaned down to pull out a binder. Coach Maverick pointed.
“Your brother.”
Lazarus glanced at the picture. Gideon, the third oldest and the reason he came to this college. He knew that jawline and those distinct bluish-green eyes all the brothers shared too well. He continued to disappoint his family by riding on the minimum passing grades. His parents never said it, but he saw it in their eyes.
“Your brother led this team, and he did it well. Now it’s you. Do you really want to let this all go because you want to have fun rather than study? Real life isn’t a game, Lazarus. I train my students to be talented players but I always train them to be men of substance in society.”
Lazarus shrank into the chair. Disappointing Coach was something he never wanted to do. I can never distinguish myself, the voice in the back of his mind said. That same voice had been building in crescendo since his senior year started and he couldn’t shake it off.
Instead of showing his worry, Lazarus smiled and said, “Give me a couple of weeks to show improvement. If I’m improving, then I can stay in. If I don’t, then sit me on the bench until I do. I have a new tutor now.”
“You have a tutor?”
It wouldn’t be hard to get a tutor or someone to do his paper for him. He would do anything to stay on the team. They were playing some minor competition for their very first game. He had to play it. This was his final season. He had to leave some sort of legacy behind, like his brother did.
Coach looked at him for a long time. Reaching over into his drawer, he pulled out a sheet of paper and placed it over the academic warning paper. “I shouldn’t do this for you, but I am. This is an academic check-in. You need to get it signed by your professors every two weeks and your tutor every session. A missed signature or low grade and then it’s—” Coach made a slash motion across his neck. “Over. Got it?”
Lazarus nodded and took the papers.
“Don’t let me down, Gilbert. You’re an outstanding student and a damn dominant player. Don’t self-sabotage when you’re this close to the end.”
“You got it.”
“I mean it.” Coach pointed at him. “This could set you up for the pros if you wanted too.”
Lazarus stood up and shook Coach’s hand. “I won’t let you down.”
With effort, he pushed himself up and shuffled out of the office. He read and reread the paper so many times that once he was changed and heading out of the locker rooms, he almost went past his best friend, waiting on the wall nearby.
“What took you so long, man? I was about to leave you.”
Lazarus quickly shoved the paper into his back pocket. Jayden was balancing himself on his skateboard as he thumbed through a book. His long dreads were tied in a haphazard knot on the top of his head. Compared to Lazarus’s old-Hollywood, Paul Newman look, Jayden was tall and slim, his skin a tawny brown contrasted with the hazel of his eyes. Brushing back the dreads that fell into his face, he closed the book and picked up the skateboard, giving Lazarus a dap as he neared.
“Sorry, I had a meeting with Coach.”
They walked side by side toward Lazarus’s apartment.
“I feel your energy is off. What’s happenin’, man?”
Lazarus focused his attention on the ground, purposely stepping on the fallen leaves. “My energy?”
“It’s coming at me in enormous waves of blue and black.”
“It’s nothing.”
Jayden placed his arm over Lazarus’s shoulders and held up two fingers. “There are two types of lying. Prosocial and antisocial.” Jay made sure Lazarus was paying attention before continuing. ““Prosocial is for someone else’s benefit as opposed to antisocial lies. Strictly for your own gain. When you engage in antisocial lying, you’re telling the universe that you don’t have respect for life.”
“What?” Lazarus laughed, and he wished he hadn’t. He held his sore abs as he tried to minimize his laughter.
Jayden nodded. “So, in return, you benefit from the destruction of all living things. Thus making you a devil. Or demon. I don’t judge.”
Squinting at Jayden, Lazarus shook his head. “Just from not telling you the truth, I am the literal devil?”
Jayden blinked slowly, and his eyes kept wandering to the left.
“Are you high?” Lazarus stopped walking and Jayden’s arm fell off.
“It’s a possibility. I found a brownie under my bed and the world’s been glowing ever since.”
Lazarus reached into his back pocket and handed him the paper. Jayden read for a moment and then said, “Damn.”
“Mmhmm.”
“That is not good fortune.”
“You think?”
They began walking. As they passed, students waved and said hello or gave him a high-five. He couldn’t sulk right now. He switched his demeanor to a smile and waved to his friends, even though most weren’t. He’d almost said fuck it, the pressure to keep up appearances was exhausting but he just had to do it for a while longer.
“I told you this was going to happen. I felt it, but you didn’t listen to me, man.” Jayden handed the paper back.
“Right… the frog dream?” Lazarus raised his eyebrow before rolling his eyes. Jayden had a reoccurring dream that frogs spilled out of Lazarus’s bedroom closet and flooded the room until he was submerged.
Jayden tapped his temple. “The knowledge comes from the universe and our ancestors. It’s up to you to drink from it.”
Lazarus doubted his ancestors were speaking to him. He had to figure out a plan quickly.
When they arrived at the fading sky-blue Victorian the campus cut up into apartments, the bare lobby gave him relief. He could get some time to himself before the craziness of the semester began.
“So, what are you going to do?”
They stopped in front of the apartment.
Lazarus looked off to the side as he scratched his elbow. “I’m sure I can find somebody to do my paper. Or hire one of those websites online.”
Jayden dropped the skateboard to the ground with a thud, shaking his head as he stepped on it. “That’s a mistake. They give everyone the same paper. You’ll be caught for plagiarism just like that!” He snapped his fingers.
“Can you do it?” Lazarus joked, crossing his arms against his chest. He was half serious.
“My karma is aligned, and I’m not tampering with it for you. Plus, I don’t like poetry. If it was a Greek tragedy or maybe about the Byzantine empire, I could help you.”
That wasn’t helping him, now was it?
A light bulb turned on in his head.
“Vee.”
His pretty downstairs neighbor who hated his guts. He knew why, but was it worth her blatant aversion? Every time he caught her in the hall, her face pinched up like she smelled shit. If they both were heading out of their apartments at the same time, she would duck back into hers and wait for him to leave.
“The sista who lives below you? That one?”
Lazarus nodded.
Jayden rubbed the back of the neck without making eye contact. “That one got some fire to her. Truth be told, Laz, you’re not ready for the dark side. It’s something you gotta ease into…”
He laughed, taking it all in stride. “She’s a Lit major, I think.”
“I don’t know about that. You’re better off getting a tutor from the tutor center.”
Lazarus cocked his head and then shook it. “You know why I can’t go back.” His last tutor relationship had crossed lines. She turned out to be a stalker in a huge social circle.
Long story short, she spun the story in her favor and he was blackballed from the tutoring center.
That’s when a car door slammed shut and a voice went, “You have a good day now! Read the book before you watch the movie!”
He knew that voice. Vee’s voice was smooth and raspy, like the jazz records he liked. Turning, he saw her with bags in hand and knew it was divine timing. She ran up the steps trying to hold this big coat and barreled right into him, making them both stumble. He caught himself by stepping to the side but couldn’t catch her, and as she fell down the stairs, her food flew out onto the concrete.
“My Twizzlers!” she cried.
His body reacted, and he reached to help her up. She squeaked when he held her around the waist. Soft and warm under his hands, she barely made it to the center of his chest, and his eyes traced her gentle curves in all the right places. He was still curious why she was dressed to go on an artic expedition, but then he caught her smell. She smelled like fresh oranges and cranberry. Sweet and homey, like his grandparents’ ranch in Tennessee.
Vee pushed her hair out of her face, and polite anger turned into annoyance. Eyes puffy and skin splotchy, she rolled her eyes and shrugged his hands away, almost sending him down the stairs as she said, “Of course, this campus is too big for me to always be running into you.”
“What’s with all the Twizzlers?”
Scrambling, she tried to get the contents of her grocery bag off the street. “My Twizzlers! You made me squish them!”
Was she going crazy? He bent down to help her. There were Twizzlers, lettuce, and… a diaphragm?
Lazarus picked it up and couldn’t help but grin as he showed it to Jayden.
“Didn’t Kirstie Alley use this in that talking baby movie and still get pregnant? Having some company tonight, Vee?”
Cutting her eyes to Jayden, Vee gave a tense smile. Lazarus froze. Her eyes were glassy, and she sniffed, wiping them briefly. Why was she sad? “Those aren’t for me. They really aren’t.” Then she snatched it from his hand. Her almond eyes flashed fire behind her glasses.
“That doesn’t explain the Twizzlers.”
“For my nerves if you have to be so nosy. Would you rather I do drugs?” Lazarus saw her chin tremble before she pinched the bridge of her nose as if exhausted with their brief conversation.
“I told you, let me help your nerves.”
“When pigs fly!” Vee sucked her teeth, rolling her eyes. Despite her slack expression, she was still easy to fire up.
That’s what he found out freshman year when they lived in the same dorm, the first time he played a prank. Their floors had been going back and forth those first couple of weeks after move-in. He hadn’t expected Vee to come out of her room and lecture him and his friends for thirty minutes about disturbing her studying time.
Their paths crossed frequently, but she never gave him the time of day. There were a few times she came to parties with her roommates and he tried to talk to her. They were night and day, but he felt something there. He wanted to figure out what, but it didn’t help that she ended up in the crosshairs of his pranks more often than not, which put him on her not-so-great side.
Hands on hips, she sighed as she tapped her foot, waiting for his response. He thought she was beautiful. Those brown eyes, red right now, her round nose, and full pink lips made him want to touch. If he told her; she’d probably hang him.
“Lazarus, I don’t have time for your games today. I’m busy.”
With effort, he took in a full breath as that freshman crush resurfaced; he took a step back. He didn’t like the lost look on her face, and decided to cheer her up the only way he knew how: by teasing.
“You know what they say about all work and no play…”
“What they say?” Jayden joined in the teasing.
“They need a handsome man like myself to unwind. I’m available. What about you?” His eyes twinkled with mischievous glee and Jayden laughed. Lazarus was enjoying the way she sucked in her cheeks and the crease in her forehead as she shifted from being annoyed to pissed off. He’d rather see her annoyed with him than sad.
“Ugh, no. Leave me alone.”
Lazarus fake gasped and turned to Jayden, who did the same. “You don’t mean that.”
“Please, and I say this from the bottom of my heart…” She fluttered her eyes at him. Like an idiot, he stepped closer to her, his eyes tracing her lips. Her words sounded sweet, but her eyes were saying something deadly.
“Get lost and don’t come back.” Snatching her bag, Vee stomped up the stairs.
“See you soon neighbor!” Lazarus hollered back, and she turned to him. For a second, there was a smile. Blowing out her cheeks, she stopped herself and flipped him off.
He watched her hair whipping and hips swinging enticingly as she disappeared from view. Normally, on a good day, he’d only get the bird from her. This time, she smiled. Hope bloomed in his chest. He had a feeling this semester would be different.
He had to focus now. He needed to figure out how to pass his class before he failed and his family found out. He huffed out a humorless laugh; he was screwed but determined.
Jayden shook his head watching where Vee disappeared. “I think you’re gonna fail, man.”
CHAPTER TWO
Pacific Grove University was a prestigious school, or so they claimed. They were famous for the 1982 student sleep-in where, for forty-two days, all the students lived on the campus green in front of the president’s office to protest a tuition hike. That was until the president grew tired of seeing students wash their bare asses on the lawn in front of his office and gave in. There was even a statue in their honor showed off on campus tours. Another perk was that they were minutes from the San Francisco Zoo and Ocean Beach.
