Sanctity, p.12
Sanctity, page 12
The medic had fallen to his knees, he was laughing so hard. “I have never seen anyone react that way to the serum. Oh my StarGods, this is amazing. Are you recording this? The boss’ll want to see it.”
“There was no mention of recording anything, so no, I haven’t.”
I wrinkled my nose at the loud talkers. They were getting in the way of the quiet hidden ones. I could hear and understand the soft delicate pulses in my head. All of them. They were whispering so much. When I had said the ship’s heart hadn’t been talking, I didn’t know he wasn’t shouting—he had been whispering to me.
The loudest pulse was grey. I could see and hear it clearly. It was dull with fatigue and poison. Its tendrils reached for me, and I shied away. Everything was coming at me fast and hard. The oily particles, the thought and energy pulses from the various psychotic… er psychic beings.
And then I saw it.
The softest blue with hints of purple. It brushed against me gently and tenderly. It bathed me in the kindest energy. I ached to be wrapped in its blessed glow, to be safe in the arms of whomever this belonged to. It swept away some of the drug-induced haze, and I could focus on the looks the ship’s heart was giving me as well as what was being said.
“You need to keep him hydrated with this. It will keep him malleable enough for Stultus to bond with him,” the medic said, gesturing wildly at the curious creature. “I haven’t seen him this active since the last psychic we had.”
“The boss killed the last one,” Meson said, and the blood in my veins turned to ice. I knew the boss was an evil dictator with some sort of complex, but this seemed a little more extreme than I expected. People who were capable of bonding with ship’s hearts were very few and far between. The mechaniques were guarded fiercely by the Maternai and by their captains when finally allowed on ships with their ship’s hearts.
“That was because the serum wasn’t full strength, and then the fucker refused to bond with Stultus. How can you not bond with our little love muffin? He just wants to connect with someone.” The medic used a cutesy voice as he spoke to the ship’s heart, who pressed a tentacle against the scummy glass.
“Whatever. Make sure you don’t kill the Terran. I’m tired of cleaning up the mess.” Meson waved a hand and continued to lean on the ramp rail. His hooded eyes stayed on me, and it made me anxious. I didn’t know what he was thinking or why he was concerned about me.
“Right. Anyway, little engineer, come sit closer to Stultus. He misses having a companion.” The medic came over and pushed me closer to the tank. I went unwillingly, as the dull colour in my head darkened and throbbed. Stultus’s eye blinked while he slammed his tentacles against the glass. “See, he wants to play with you.”
“I really don’t want…” I swayed as I stood up, dizzy from exhaustion and lack of substantial food. The sandwich the maintenance crew gave me did nothing for me. I limped over toward Meson, who I hoped was the least evil of the beings in the room. The colourful particles in the air distracted me and flickered rapidly. I swatted them away. “I have to get away. I need to… I need to do something.”
“You need to be with Stultus,” the medic insisted as he reached over and curled his sharp nails into my forearm to bring me back to the tank. “Are you thirsty? I have more water for you to drink.”
“No, I don’t want that. Thank you.” Ever polite, I locked my feet in place and refused to move closer to the ship’s heart. The psychic pulses were becoming darker and oilier. I didn’t want them touching me. I searched for the soothing blue pulses that cleared my head. I wanted to believe they were from someone good, someone who wanted to protect me.
Stultus’s oily thoughts were overpowering me, and I was being drawn unwillingly to his dark mind. He tapped the glass with the tip of a tentacle, its suckers expelling water. He continued to do that in a hypnotic manner until I placed my hand where the tentacle was tapping.
CHAPTER 17
Our flesh might not have touched, but the intent was what mattered. My thoughts were inundated with concepts of revenge and bloodthirsty pirates. I ached to kill the boss for what he had done, and I wanted to take everyone on this wrecked space junk with me. It was going to be a glorious explosion of plasma and metal. We needed to get this falling-apart ship to a nearby nebula. The gases would work perfectly with my…
I had to tear my hand away from the glass. Nothing in my head was my own. The anger that filled me and the pure hatred toward bipedal lifeforms excluding me was sickening. I hated it so much. The pity Stultus felt toward me made me nauseated. He knew he was going to destroy me. This ship’s heart understood I was incapable of completing the bond as a mechanique would, but I was the only psychic around, and he was going to do his level best to subjugate me utterly. He needed every part of me for his own plan.
Gasping, I shuffled farther away from the vengeful Stultus. His thoughts still filled my head, but I was able to breathe easier now. I slowly inhaled and held my breath for moments before releasing. Each breath brought me closer to myself again and farther from the poisonous thoughts.
“Why’d you stop? Get back there. We need you and Stultus to have a stable bond if we’re going to get out of this system.” The medic scowled ferociously as he stepped back toward me. He shoved at my shoulder, trying to force me to move closer to the tank.
I clung to the handrail and bared my teeth. Understanding what Stultus wanted, what the boss wanted, was the last straw. I was done with being cooperative.
“Listen, Commander Trest. If you don’t bond with Stultus, you will die. The Asyran you made moon eyes at will die. Your precious mechanique will die. Basically everyone you like or whatever will lose their life. Their blood will be on your hands. Do you want that on you? Do you?”
I shot a glance at Meson, who stood quietly out of the way. I wanted to see his reaction toward the medic’s words, but there was nothing on his face I could connect with or read. Stultus pressed right up against the glass now, every sucker on his tentacles gaping open as though it was sucking in air.
I shook my head as I met the medic’s strained face. He wasn’t as cocky as before. He might have realized I wasn’t as easy a mark as he expected. “It doesn’t matter to me. Those people are stronger than me, and they’ll—they’ll be able to take down your ship. If I am the catalyst for their vengeance, all the power to them. I’m done.”
The blue tendril of thoughts recoiled gently at my words before curling around me again. The strength and care it bathed me in was heavenly, and I did regret my words briefly. Maybe there was someone who would hurt if I was gone, and I needed to hold on for a little bit longer so I could tell them how much they helped.
The situation with Stultus reminded me of what Padua had done when Collins disappeared. She found someone to hold to so she could continue to function. She wasn’t as poisonous as Stultus, but she was almost as dangerous, forcing her needs onto me. I had lost my sense of self and autonomy when we connected. My whole life revolved around her because that’s what everyone on the Padua needed. I didn’t know how to step back and create distance. With Stultus, his touch was gruesome and terrifying, and I had to keep away.
“Medic, what’s going on? I thought everything was under control.” The boss’s rough voice startled me as he spoke over the intercom. “Didn’t you tell me this little pissant was a shoo-in for the task?”
“Sir, he was badly damaged in the process of capturing him. It may take a little bit more time for everything to work. Stultus has made contact and is being very patient. We just need some time,” the medic pleaded.
I scowled as threateningly as I could.
“He needs a bit more persuasion,” the medic said.
“Send him to the cages, then. Bring up his buddy. See if that’ll convince him to cooperate. You have two hours, Medic.”
“Yes, sir.” We all stared at the intercom, waiting to make sure the boss was done talking. The medic turned to me first. His smile was forced, and his eyes were filled with hate. “Okay, asswipe. Since you’re not behaving and the boss did suggest the cages, that’s where we’re goin’. Enforcer, magnetize the shackles. I don’t trust him to behave.”
The cages were under Stultus’s aquarium, three decks below where we had been. I was paraded past every crew member, and every one of those pirates gave me a dead-eye stare or a contemptuous sneer. My life was in the hands of Meson, and I still didn’t know how much I could trust him, for all of his suggestion to stay aware and alive.
The medic had me tossed into an empty cage before locking me in. He stood on the outside, his arms crossed. “If you had cooperated with me for a little moment, I wouldn’t have to do this. Alas, I do. Water will be dispensed from the taps at the back. Drink it.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need it,” I disagreed stiffly. The water made me loose and open. I didn’t want to be so available for Stultus or anyone else.
“Uh-huh. We’ll see how long your stubbornness lasts.” The medic tipped his head before setting off to the stairs. “By the way, just wanted to let you know while you’re sitting here being stubborn. Your friend the mechanique is going to have his own play time with Stultus. I cannot wait to watch. And you get the ground level view too! How exciting!”
I looked up at the underneath of the aquarium and back to the medic. Collins wasn’t going to be as agreeable in bonding with another ship’s heart. He was a feisty one at the best of times, and this was not a good day for either of us. “Collins won’t be cooperative. You know that, right?”
The smile he gave me chilled me to the bones. “What a surprise. The boss made it an order, so it must be done. You had your chance to bond with Stultus, and now it’s the mechanique’s turn.”
I was left alone in the dank cage with Stultus watching me from above. Eerie moans drifted in from elsewhere, and I shivered. I paced the length of the cage, unnerved by everything. I glanced up occasionally and always met Stultus’s yellow eye. His pupil was contracted to a pinprick. The psychic pulses he sent me were rage-filled and threatening.
Every step I took hurt, and eventually I sat down in a corner as far as I could get away from Stultus. The effects of the tainted water the medic gave me was wearing off, and the particles I saw and most of the angry thoughts began to fade. I longed for the warm blue. It had given me hope, and now I couldn’t find it.
Absently, I wondered if it could have been Padua protecting me. But she wasn’t blue. She was shades of orange and pink, warm in a wholly different way. The blue was different, someone different. Lost and alone, tired and losing hope, I sent a pulse out into the nothing.
Stultus’s eye widened, and he began to thrash angrily in the tank. Metal joists groaned and creaked with the waving tentacles. The poisonous pulses rapidly attacked my weakened defenses, and I was blindsided with threats to my person.
I curled into a tight ball on the floor and tried to stop thinking completely. I kept my focus on my imagining of the gas giant and its constant flares, of Zoagashta and their bright and happy smile when they looked at me. They were the only thing I wanted, I had ever wanted. I wanted to…I didn’t know what I wanted, other than getting through this with my sanity intact. I could hear sniffling in the dark, but I couldn’t pinpoint its location.
Stultus never left his position above me. He stayed pressed against the glass, watching me. If I shifted slightly to find a better way to sit, he flailed his tentacles about for minutes. His rapid cycling of psychic pulses crashed against my meagre defenses, and eventually my thoughts were governed by him, and I was truly lost in the prison of a mind not my own.
A crash from up above, and loud shouts could be heard through the water. They were distracting enough that Stultus left his sentry position to investigate. I stretched my legs out and hissed as blood began to circulate through my veins again.
A rap on the bars above my head startled me enough to whip around into a crouch. Meson stood there with a slightly sympathetic look. “You’re doin’ good, kid. It’s just taking a lot longer for everything to move into place.”
“What?” It was the most intelligent response I could give at the time. I stared at the scarred man, baffled by the change in attitude.
“Keep doing what you’re doing. Whatever it is, it’s working for us.” The smile on his face transformed his dour look into something kind and peaceful. He made me want to burrow into his muscles and stay there until the bad things went away.
“I’m scared. I don’t have a friggin’ clue as to what I’m doing.” This had to be a dream, and when I woke up, Meson would kill me. “I have this recurring thought and…”
“Hush, Commander. The less I know, the better. I’ll keep fresh water for you within reach, okay? Alternate between it and the tap. They’re watching most of the time, so I need you to keep drinking the doctored stuff. I’ll do my best, but I can’t make any promises right now.” Meson melted back into the dark corridor, leaving me alone again.
Hope had been offered, and I had to grab it with both hands. I just didn’t know if I could anymore.
“There’s another ship coming our way,” a clogged voice from the far edge of the prison whispered loudly. “The boss isn’t pleased. We’re supposed to be hidden from radars and long-range scanners.”
I sat up and looked around. I knew I’d heard someone in here, but I didn’t think they were coherent or rational enough to understand what was going on. “How do you know that?”
“Boss tells me stuff when he doesn’t mean to. His emotions give him away every time.” A quiet scuffling sound moved closer to me. “He’s a tyrant who’s lost control. Be careful, bonded Terran. You’re next on the chopping block. He’ll be coming down soon for answers. The ship’s heart is misbehaving, and it’s your fault.”
“I didn’t do anything!” The words exploded out of me and echoed throughout the room. I curled tight, trying to get away from the loud noise.
“Shh, you’re going to attract its attention again, and we don’t want that. We need you to rest and recover for the next part of the plan.” They scolded me gently, and I nodded, even though it was likely they couldn’t see me.
“What plan?”
“Can’t tell you. You’re too much of an open book. You’d tell the beast up there, and everything would be for naught.”
I banged my fists against the barrier and yelped as electricity ran through my system. I hadn’t realized the bars were electrified. I hated this fucking ship so much.
“Find your happy place and stay there until it’s time.”
I wrinkled my nose at the vague answer. I wanted to question it some more, but a thump above me kept me from asking. Stultus had returned, and he was watching me with intense zeal. I wiggled my fingers at him and scooted to the tap with its tainted water.
I wanted my happy place, I wanted to keep Stultus on my radar at the same time, and unfortunately, opening myself up to that creature for that soft glow of hope was the only idea I had at the time.
CHAPTER 18
I lay flat on my back, staring up at the dirty water that was the ship’s heart’s home. Stultus had been circling the tank for a while, creating millions of eddies for me to watch. They mixed with the particles so daintily. It was a form of ballroom dancing, similar to what Zoagashta and I had done last night. We had danced, and I was smitten. I wished I was still in their arms. Zoagashta woke something up in me, and I wanted to know more. I wanted to be with them.
The beautiful delicate blue tendrils stayed away. I had hoped if I drank the water, I could handle the spikes of poison and rage along with the gentle blue. Tears leaked out of my eyes as I drifted in and out of awareness. I learned quickly how to ride the waves of Stultus’s anger and petulance. He hated everything. He was hungry all the time and was growing tired of listening to the boss. He had been promised so many bodies, and the boss never followed through. He craved the flesh of bipedal creatures. He loved the taste of oxygenated blood. I shuddered at the insatiable longing.
“What’s he doing?” the boss’s rumble interrupted my dazed staring. I blinked slowly at the man who stood outside the bars. His face was cross, his mouth set in a hard line, and his eyes narrowed as our gazes met.
I half-heartedly waved and went back to staring at Stultus’s mouth. The multitudes of teeth worried me.
“He had the water. Maybe too much,” my friend, Meson, said dryly. He was giving me a look that promised something, but I was too lost in the particles and colours to understand.
“Too much? What do you mean? Did the medic fuck up? Holy fucking hell. I am going to rip his head off and feed it to Stultus. He came recommended, didn’t he? How the fuck did this fucking happen?” The boss swore and yanked on his hair. His swarthy skin turned a deep red as he ranted. His blood pressure must have rocketed up. He needed to calm down and breathe. “Hey, you. In the cage. Come here.”
His tone changed to something alluring, and I was a bit tempted to see what he wanted, but Stultus had also sent a putrid wave of mistrust, and it made my head spin. “Stop talking. It hurts.”
“Did he speak? Were those words?” the boss asked rapidly, looking between me and Meson, who was still giving me looks I couldn’t interpret. “Listen, you corporate slub, if you wanna live, get off your ass and come here now.”
His words filtered through the miasma of my thoughts, and I was standing close to the barrier before I even realized what I was doing. I swayed on my feet, my head swimming out of balance to the rest of my body. I kept my gaze straight ahead and waited for the hammer to come down.
“Look at his eyes. They’re all pupil. How much of that shit did he drink?” the boss murmured.
I understood only a few of the words. It was possible I’d had too much of the tap water, but I had been desperate to catch the warm blue. I hated that I couldn’t find it again when it reminded me so much of Zoagashta. And sometimes, the connection to Stultus offered information about the ship we were on.
