Grandview, p.11
Grandview, page 11
“Because you weren’t old enough yet,” Teddy said.
“That’s right,” Leticia said.
Maisie squinted at Robert and tilted her head to the side. “Robert?”
“Yes, my dear Maisie?”
“Who’s your mommy?”
Leticia looked to Robert. Esme continued wiping the corners of Teddy’s mouth, watching the dialogue from the corner of her eye.
“My mommy,” Robert said softly, “passed away a long time ago.”
“What is passed away?”
Esme involuntary sucked her teeth.
“Passed away is a euphem— a gentle way of saying someone died.”
“Your mommy died?”
“Yes, she died.”
“Was she old?”
“Maisie, that’s enough,” Esme said.
“No, it’s fine,” Robert said. “Valid question.” To Maisie, he said, “My mommy wasn’t really that old. She died in a car accident.”
“How old was she?” Teddy asked.
“Um, good question. I don’t remember exactly.”
“Old as mommy?” Teddy asked, pulling away from Esme.
“A little older, I think.”
“She was 48,” Esme said. To the twins, she said, “It was a very, very sad thing and I think—”
“Mommy,” Maisie said, “how old are you?” Her large eyes were fixed on her mother’s, wide with terror.
“Oh, honey,” Esme said, hurrying to Maisie. Immediately upon being lifted up, Maisie flung her arms about her mother’s neck. She did not cry, but her face showed grave concern and fear. Teddy watched quietly. Robert approached and set his hand on Maisie’s tiny back.
“Maisie,” Robert said, “what happened to my mommy was really weird and very unusual. Do you know what I mean by that?” Maisie nodded. “You shouldn’t worry, okay? I don’t think anything like that is ever, ever going to happen to your mommy, okay?” Maisie turned her face to him, red-cheeked and scowling.
“You think or you know?” Maisie projected sternly. Esme winced, recognizing in her daughter’s voice the echo of her own.
They were all silent while Robert formulated his response. He knew firsthand the potential damage of false promises, especially concerning the well-being of those you love. His clearest—and final—memory of his own mother was her dismissal of Mary’s concerns regarding the very road conditions that claimed her life. Seeing Maisie in the arms of her mother, he knew to retract his next words would be forever impossible. Steeling himself, he lied.
“I know,” Robert said. “I know for sure.”
Chapter 25: Pilgrimage
“This car’s noisy, Mommy,” Maisie said.
“Because it’s old, Maisie,” Teddy said.
Esme pulled into her regular gas station. When she entered the driveway, which was fairly steep, the suspension creaked.
Maisie gripped the armrests of her booster. “Is it breaking?”
“No, honey,” Esme said, “it’s just an older car, that’s how they are sometimes.”
“It’s really old,” Teddy said.
“Mommy,” Maisie said, “look.”
“I can’t look,” Esme said, “I’m driving. Wait a sec.” She parked at her usual pump and turned around to Maisie. “Okay, show me.”
“Look,” Maisie said, pointing at the space between her booster and the base of Roisin’s car seat, “there’s a hole.” The leather was cracked open, and a bit of foam poked through, yellowed and crispy-looking.
“I see that,” Esme said.
“It’s nasty,” Maisie said.
“I like this car,” Teddy said.
Esme got out and swiped Leticia’s gas card. She appreciated Robert and Leticia’s care, and their visit had done her no small amount of good. Nevertheless, she was deeply humiliated. She had never before experienced financial insecurity, and until recently believed her marriage to be solid. All was changing, liquid, uncertain. Sean did not know his wife had Letty’s card and Robert’s money; as far as he knew she was helpless and suffering. Read receipts arrived minutes after every text she sent. Did he think of the children at all? Did he love the woman he was now with, or was she a temporary amusement?
Esme finished pumping the gas and replaced the nozzle, and the screen on the pump asked her if she would like a receipt. Out of habit she began to press no, when she realized it was not her decision to make. Did Letty print them? Would she expect to receive them when the gas card was returned to her? She pressed yes. Nothing happened. The screen read, “Cashier has receipt.”
She stared at the screen for a moment and then got back in the car, slamming the door much harder than she intended. Roisin waked and from her rear-facing car seat began to wail. Esme started the car.
“Roisin’s crying,” Maisie said.
“I hear her,” Esme said. “We’ll be there soon.”
The second time she got cut off, Esme muttered a few choice curses. It was like she was invisible while driving this car.
“Mommy,” Teddy said, “what did you say?”
“I said I think that person’s turn signals are broken,” Esme said.
“Oh,” Teddy said.
The offending party—a girl who looked far too young to have a driver’s license—positioned her gleaming black BMW in front of Esme and slowed down.
“She’s taking a picture,” growled Esme, “while she’s driving. Unbelievable.”
It was true. The girl was holding her phone up to the window, taking pictures of the coastline. Just before Esme honked, the girl dropped her phone and shot ahead at a ridiculous speed, blowing right through a vacant red light. Esme hoped to see flashing lights in pursuit, but no police car appeared. Teddy looked around for landmarks.
“What beach are we going to?”
“Ponto,” Esme said, glaring after the disappearing BMW.
“Oh,” Teddy said.
“Mommy,” Maisie said, “is Auntie Heather coming?”
“Yes,” Esme said.
“Look, Mommy,” Maisie said, pointing out of the streaky, almost-cleaned window, “the train is going fast.”
“Whoa,” Teddy said, “look Mommy!”
“Yes, I see it. It’s very fast,” Esme said.
They arrived at the parking lot without further incident. Esme found a good spot and got the children unseated without any fuss. On the hill above the lot, tractors were clattering about, and debris of all kind was being piled at the hill’s foot.
“Look,” Maisie said, pointing. “What are they doing?”
“I don’t know,” Esme said. The sight made her uneasy, not because of what they might be building but for the sake of what was possibly being destroyed. Stairs going up from the nearby bathrooms led to a little plateau, on which a giant compass rose lay etched into the concrete. Sean had kneeled there to ask for her hand in marriage right as she came to stand atop the letter E. Later that night, she commended him for having been so clever, but he had not understood to what she referred.
“Grab your buckets please,” Esme said, “and make sure you have everything you want to bring. I’m not coming back to get anything once we’re down there.”
“Yes, Mommy,” answered the twins, picking up their buckets.
“Make sure you have everything,” Esme said.
“We did, Mommy,” Teddy said.
“Yes, we did,” Maisie said.
“Okay,” Esme said, “but remember what I told you. I’m not coming back up here.”
“We did, Mommy,” the twins said.
“Okay,” Esme said, “let’s go.”
They walked together to the sandy beach. Roisin, alert and confident in her mother’s arms, pointed at everyone and everything they passed. Heather was not waiting at the picnic tables (where she had told Esme to meet her), nor was she anywhere within sight of that area. Esme began to fish her phone out from her purse but then thought to walk farther down onto the beach before calling. And they found Heather there, stretched out on a towel.
Chapter 26: Syntax Error
Teddy saw her first.
“Auntie!”
Heather started and immediately reached for her phone, which lay next to her on the towel.
“No way,” Heather said, shading the screen of her phone with her hand. “Oh my gosh, guys, sorry! I totally lost track of the time.”
“That’s okay,” Esme said. “We just got here.”
“Still,” Heather said, “I’m sorry.”
“Really, it’s fine.” Esme looked around at the golden, relatively uncrowded beach and felt happy. “What a lovely day.”
“Isn’t it?” Heather said.
“Look, Tia,” Maisie said, proffering to her aunt a small, orange-haired plastic figure mounted on a foam surfboard. Teddy held up another of the same, identical but for its pink hair.
“Look at mine,” Teddy said.
“Wow,” Heather said, “those are cool, guys. Do they go in the water?”
“Yes,” Maisie said. “It surfs on the board.”
“Mine surfs fast,” Teddy said.
“They’re the same,” Maisie said.
“Why don’t you show me in a little bit,” Heather said.
“You’re getting Tia’s towel all sandy,” Esme said. She then pointed to the ocean, and said, “Go down there. Go.” The twins ran off, jumping, shrieking, and tumbling in the sand.
“Sweeties,” Heather said.
“They really are,” Esme said, sighing. “And then there’s this lemonhead.” She kissed Roisin on her plump cheek. Roisin stared after her siblings, dispassionate.
“You are so blessed,” Heather said.
“Indeed, I am,” Esme said. “How is Jason? We haven’t seen him in so long.”
“He’s well,” Heather said. “You know, that age is hard. Him and his dad butt heads sometimes, but overall he’s doing fine.”
“Is he thinking about college?”
“He is. One of his good friends from the neighborhood is at Pepperdine, and so he’s made up his mind to go there. We shall see.”
“I’m sure he’ll do it,” Esme said. “He’s so smart.”
“That he is,” Heather said, “but he’ll have to start applying himself and taking some responsibility for his own future.”
“Well,” Esme said, “you tell him Auntie Esme loves him and believes he can do whatever he puts his mind to.”
“I will,” Heather said.
“Heather?” Esme said. Heather turned her head to Esme and looked into her eyes. Esme, intending to update Heather on her current misfortunes, instead made a few statements like, “Thank you for coming down when you did,” and, “It means more to me than I can say.” Heather smiled warmly at Esme in return, and Esme began to cry.
“Esme, honey,” Heather said and scooted closer, touched by what she thought to be a display of Esme’s gratitude. She made gentle, shushing sounds and ran her hand lightly over Esme’s back. “You know I love you both so much,” she said. “I’d do anything for you guys.”
At this Esme cried harder (for her own lost courage), understanding that now to broach the subject would be impossible. In this way they sat during the remainder of their time together, Esme repeatedly bursting into tears and Heather remarking about whatever things the children did.
Afterward, while Esme was loading her children into Robert’s car, near them pulled in a friend of the O’Briens. Esme did not notice the engine of the old Volkswagen sputtering by. Mentally revisiting her conversation with Heather at the beach and increasingly frustrated with herself for having not revealed the full truth of her predicament, she did not at first hear her name being called. Maisie, whose booster seat Esme was adjusting, screwed up her eyes, and tried to look past her mother.
“Who is that, Mommy?”
“Who is who?”
“That,” Maisie said, pointing to somewhere behind her mother. Esme turned, and saw a very tall, very muscular grey-haired man approaching.
“Craig,” Esme said, “so good to see you!”
“Yeah,” Craig said, “good to see you too.” Seeing the children watching him from the backseat, he waved. They waved in return. “Sean here?”
“No,” said Esme. “He’s away on business.”
“Well,” said Craig, “the man’s gotta do that, I guess. I’m sure he’d rather be here though.”
“Yes,” Esme said.
“Hey,” Craig said, “nice car. I love these.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah, I really do. Last year I sold mine and really wish I hadn’t.” He reached out and ran his hand along the line of the hood. “Don’t sell it. It’s a good car.”
“Oh,” Esme said, “I’m just borrowing this while ours gets fixed. It’s Robert’s.”
“Ah, okay. I thought I recognized it,” Craig said. “He must really like you, huh?” As he said this, he made as though to tickle Maisie, who recoiled from him and laughed nervously. “Now, you’re not that little girl who came to my shop, are you?”
Maisie stared back at him, not understanding.
“Craig makes Daddy’s surfboards,” Esme said. “Do you remember going with Daddy to the surfboard place?” Maisie’s eyes lit up with recognition.
“I remember,” Maisie said. “You have Gatorades there!”
Craig laughed.
“I don’t remember,” Teddy said.
“You didn’t go, Teddy,” Maisie said. “Just me and Daddy went. It’s messy there.”
“Yeah, that sounds right,” Craig said and laughed again. “If I remember, didn’t your dad let you pick the colors for his board? I sure liked those colors.”
Maisie nodded.
“Craig,” Esme asked, “how is Evelyn?”
“Good, good. She’s up at the house, cooking. We got a bunch of friends from Texas coming over to stay with us, so ... you know how she is. I just came here to get out of her way, and do a little surfing before the hurricane rolls into town.”
“Please tell her I said hello,” Esme said.
“I will,” Craig said. “Stop by soon, will ya.”
“Sure,” Esme said.
Esme fastened her own seatbelt and started the car. She knew next to nothing about the mechanical side of cars, let alone how an engine should sound, but it seemed to her that it ran smoothly for its age. How impressive, she thought, that after all these years it still works. All those thousands of tiny parts, just spinning around. Esme turned out onto the highway, and the car pitched from side to side as it rode over the strip of spikes guarding the exit. Esme’s wallet fell out of her bag onto the seat, fat with cash.
“Children,” Esme said.
“Yes, Mommy,” the twins said.
“I think we should stop for dinner on the way home. What do you think?” The twins each sat up straight, their eyes brightening.
“Oh, yes, Mommy,” Teddy said. “In N Out!”
“You chose last time,” Maisie said.
“Hush a moment,” Esme said. “You did choose last time, Teddy, so this time it’s Maisie’s turn.” Teddy slumped back into his seat. “Maisie, where would you like to go?”
“In N Out,” Maisie said.
Chapter 27: Suave
Alberto jumped to his feet and lifted his towel. Only the corner was wet because he had good reflexes and had reacted quickly when he saw the wave. It was moving faster than the others and came up way farther.
First, he set his towel at the base of the cliff, which was really nice. Just when he’d gotten comfortable, two lifeguards in a pickup truck reprimanded him for being too close to the cliff, and they were talking really loud, so a bunch of people were looking, and it was really uncool. He had tried to tell them it was cool and not to worry.
One of them, the one in the passenger seat, had said, “Look, man, we just want our visitors to be safe. It’s not personal, okay? We want your vacation to go well, okay?”
People were staring all around while he set his towel down closer to the water. How did they know he was from somewhere else? They were wrong to assume he was on vacation. He was on vacation, but they were wrong to assume. How did they know he didn’t live nearby?
So now his towel was wet. All around him, groups of people rested and played games. A bunch of young white kids sat on the bottom steps of a set of stairs that led up to a house on the cliff. Alberto wanted to see if the lifeguards were going to come and say something to them, but he couldn’t see their red truck anywhere, even though he could see a very long way down the beach. He placed his towel down halfway between the two places he had been already and sat down.
All kinds of people walked past him in both directions. Some of the girls were really cute, and their swimsuits exposed everything he wanted to see. A couple of girls made eye contact with him and smiled, but no one tried to talk to him. One group walked by, mostly girls and just a couple of guys with surfboards. Alberto thought the guys looked dorky. One of them was wearing really tiny shorts and had a lot of body hair. The girls were cute. In fact, every girl in the group was cute, but none of them paid any attention to him. The hairy guy looked over, and Alberto said, “What’s up?”
The guy just gave a nod and turned away. It didn’t make any sense.
In his mind, Alberto had envisioned this trip to the beach differently. He didn’t want to call his friends in town because that situation was messed up. Letty had really disrespected him, big-time. Robert too. All that stuff made no sense, and he didn’t want to talk to any of them. So he went to the beach and figured he’d just hang out and meet some people. It wasn’t working. Just a couple of hours ago, he was getting ready in his hotel room, and he was confident that he looked good.
He was wearing a nice dive watch—a Rolex—and his tan was perfect. His body was shaved smooth, and he was very fit. Not one girl had really looked his way so far, except for a pair of ugly fat girls sitting on the benches near the restrooms on the way down. It didn’t make sense.
Far down the beach, he saw the red truck again. Good, he thought, looking forward to watching those white kids get in trouble. He turned to see if they were still there, but the last of them was going back up the stairs to the house on the cliff. The rest were already up near the top, hooting and messing around. Seeing them up at their house, having fun, was really irritating. Alberto thought he might just go back to the hotel. Maybe he’d go back to Querétaro tomorrow. If those kids were in Querétaro, they’d be the ones watching him have fun with his friends.
