Grandview, p.13
Grandview, page 13
Chapter 32: Diameter
“Look, look ... you see that?”
“Oh, wow,” Robert said. “What’s going on there? Did you know about that?”
“No,” Leticia said, “I don’t think they did either. Until now, at least.”
“I dunno, they look pretty deep.”
“Honey, Vero would have told me. Believe me.”
Veronica and Eddie were laughing together as they descended the ramp from the plateau above. In that way unique to freshly minted pairings, they projected their mutual infatuation so that everyone present could see clearly the shifting boundaries of their relationship. All but themselves seemed dim and out of focus, and they were blind to the stares and whispers of others.
“Well,” Robert said, “something’s going on.”
“That’s for sure,” Leticia said. She watched them transition from concrete to sand. Veronica stumbled, only slightly, and Eddie caught her, although his arms arrived too late to offer any real help. Vero, you minx, Leticia thought, work your charms, girl.
“He knows what he’s doing,” Robert said.
“So does she,” Letty replied.
“Wouldn’t they be great together though? I mean, that’s like a built-in double-date for us.”
“Totally,” Letty said.
“I’m hoping for it,” Robert said. He thought of Shannon. “Especially for Eddie, you know what I mean?”
“For her too. They both deserve someone cool.”
“And living,” Robert whispered. Leticia rebuked him with her eyes.
“Let’s not go there, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Robert?”
“Yes?”
“Is this real?”
“I think so.”
“How can I know?”
“Give me your hand.”
Leticia raised her left hand to Robert, which he took and kissed several times. The emerald shone in the dusk, its attendant diamonds twinkling.
“I wonder if Charlotte would approve,” Leticia said.
“Of course she would,” Robert said.
“I dunno,” Leticia said. “Maybe not. I doubt she imagined that one day her jewels would belong to some common girl in America.”
“You, sweetie, are anything but common.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Of course, but don’t think like that.”
“I know. I just feel like an imposter or something.”
“Oh, stop it, Letty.”
“No, really. I mean, I love this ring. You know that. I just feel like I shouldn’t wear it to the beach.”
“Nonsense.”
“I’m serious. What if I lose it?” Robert lifted her hand again and examined the ring.
“I see what you mean,” he said.
“Besides,” she said, “what if I’m surfing or working out? I won’t be comfortable wearing this every day.”
“You’re right. It is a little impractical.” Robert screwed up his eyes and bit his lip. “Okay,” he said, “let’s get you one of those silicone ones for surfing and stuff. And we’ll have Joselin make another one for you that looks like this but smaller. And you can wear that one on the daily.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Rad. But you have to wear this on occasion.”
“Of course,” Leticia said. She ran her fingers over the emerald. “You know I adore this, right?”
“Yes, I can tell,” Robert said, smiling. “You know what I adore?”
“What?”
“These,” Robert said, looking deeply into her eyes. “Your eyes are more beautiful than any emerald on earth.” Leticia blushed, and then her faced changed. She looked away.
“What’s the matter?” Robert asked, drawing her close. He could feel her trembling slightly in his arms.
“I’m sorry, Robert. It’s just so hard for me to believe in this. Like, I wanted this for so long, and now I feel afraid.”
“Why are you afraid?”
“That you will get tired of me.”
“Letty, that’s not possible,” Robert said. “Why would you say that?”
“How many girls have you been with, Robert?”
“Letty ...”
“How many? I mean slept with and everything. Twenty? Thirty?” Robert did not reply. “More than thirty?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.” Robert released her and turned away from the fire to face the growing darkness.
“I don’t know what to say to that, Letty. What can I say to that? I can’t change that now.”
“No, sweetie, I don’t mean it like that, like you should be ashamed. What I mean is I’m not some super pretty girl, you know? And don’t say I am, because I know I’m not. Not like what you’re used to anyway.”
“Letty,” Robert said, turning back to her, “don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not being ridiculous. I’ve seen your girlfriends. Look at me. I’ve had like two boyfriends, not counting Alberto. Alberto, Robert.”
“So what? So what about that?”
“Robert, guys don’t see me. I believe you love me, and I know that right now you are in love with me. But what if that changes?” Robert’s face darkened.
“If you don’t believe I love you,” he said stiffly, “I don’t know what to say. And if I’m honest, what you’re saying is making me upset.”
“Robert, please. I do believe that you love me. I just said that I did. It’s just ... Robert, I’m a virgin, okay? And I’m happy that I am, now, and I’m glad that I can be that for you. But there was a time when I wasn’t stoked about it. In high school, I wanted to be pursued. I wanted someone to want to have sex with me. No one tried. Boys didn’t care about me, especially not when my friends were around. And now I just have to accept that the most eligible bachelor of all time is not going to get tired of me?”
Robert again turned away, and they stood together in silence. When he turned back to her, his eyes were moist, but the hint of a smile played about his lips.
“Leticia,” he said, “I am many things—not all good things—but I am a man of my word.” He embraced her once more, pulling her close to himself. Someone from around the fire pit hooted, and called something out to them. Neither Robert nor Leticia responded, but they remained centered on each other. “You know that’s true about me, right?” Leticia nodded. “Good. Then listen to me, because I will never repeat what I’m about to say.” He cleared his throat and took Leticia’s hands in his own. “Letty, I know you. I have known you my whole life. I think you’re my best friend. You may not be ...” He paused and took a deep breath. “You may not be what is considered model material, okay? I think a generation ago your type may have been, but this is now, so like, whatever. I get it. But you and I have been through everything. We’ve been everywhere together. And everywhere we go, I’m always slutting around. Truth, okay? But you were always there. Always. And I swear to God, Letty, I’m pretty sure I’ve always loved you, I just didn’t know it. I know that sounds freaking stupid, but I wouldn’t just tell you that if it wasn't true. All those girls, they just taught me what I don’t want. And what I don’t want is any woman who isn’t you. I swear to God.”
“Don’t swear to God.”
“Whatever. Sure. Just, Letty ... I don’t know what to tell you. No, you know what? I do. How you would want me to feel about you, that’s how I feel. Does that make sense?”
Leticia let go of Robert’s hands and stood with her arms at her side. After a moment, she said, pouting, “You have to teach me what to do.”
“I will be too busy worshipping your body.”
“My fat body.”
“You’re not fat. And so what, get thick. Thick is good.”
“But I’m afraid,” Leticia said, and her lip trembled.
“Of what?”
“For you to see me. Undressed.”
“Damn it, Letty. When I got back from England, I went through my room for like three hours to find pictures of you from the Caymans.” Letty raised one eyebrow. “Remember the strap on your swimsuit broke, and you had to buy one there? And you were all shy of that bikini because of your tan lines, and it was kind of too small, but we were out of cash. You borrowed my board shorts when we went to the store.”
“Oh man,” she said, “yeah. That was so embarrassing.”
“Well, you were heavier then, right? I found a picture of you where you didn’t have my shorts on, and I sat there and stared at you spilling out of that bikini for like, an hour, just fantasizing about our wedding night.” Robert could see in Letty’s face that she was nearly vanquished. Encouraged, he took her head in his hands and kissed her. “Letty, I know you, okay? And I want you so badly that I can hardly contain myself. I like that you’re a virgin. I like that you’re inexperienced. And I’m really, really glad that some asshole guy didn’t take you up on your offer back in high school.”
“Okay.”
“And I promise,” Robert said, staring into her eyes, “I’ll be a very good teacher.”
“You’d better be,” Leticia said, laughing and wiping her eyes. She looked to where their friends stood around the fire, talking and roasting marshmallows. “Robert?”
“Yes, my love.”
“How would you like an opportunity to prove your love for me?”
“Anything.”
“Roast me a couple marshmallows while I go pee.”
“Your very wish,” Robert said, bowing, “is my command.” Leticia smiled.
“A little burnty. But melty on the inside.”
Chapter 33: Despotism
A short walk from the fire pit, Madison Johnson held court beneath the solitary palm tree at the center of everything. Concentric rings of young people, in order of descending importance, radiated out from where she sat cross-legged on the rim of the giant concrete planter.
“They are so cute, right? Them getting together is ...” Madison chewed on her lip, searching for the right words, “... better than anything.”
“For Letty, maybe,” Jody said. “My sister is going to be so bummed.”
“If it makes her feel any better,” said Annie, “I’m way bummed.”
“Ew, Annie,” Madison said. “You have a thing for Robert? Really?”
“Why, ‘ew’?”
“I dunno,” Madison said and shrugged.
“Low-key, I’ve got a thing for his house,” Annie said. “And you have to admit, he’s not bad looking.”
“He’s a lot more than not bad, Annie,” Jody said. Annie sighed.
“Yes, okay. But that just makes it worse.”
“I don’t get it,” said Chad, Jody’s boyfriend. “Honestly. Real talk. He’s not that hot.” Madison rolled her eyes.
“I didn’t know you liked guys, Chad,” she said. “How cute.”
“I don’t, Maddie. But if I did, I wouldn’t want him. Without his money, he’s just an average dude. Look at him.”
They all looked. He stood at the fire, by himself, roasting marshmallows.
“See what I mean?” Chad said. The girls appraised his form.
“Nope,” Annie said, “still hot.”
“For reals,” Jody said.
“How depressing,” Annie said.
“No, you know what?” Madison said. “I changed my mind. I agree with Chad.”
“Thank you, Madison,” Chad said.
“I mean, he’s not ugly or anything. He’s just not ...”
“Black?” Annie said.
“Special. But yes, that too.”
“All I’m saying,” Chad said, “is that people like him for his money. Not just girls. Everybody.”
“He’s a super nice guy,” Jody said.
“I didn’t say he wasn’t. We’re cool and everything. I’m just saying the reason he’s drowning in pussy all the time isn’t his looks.” Chad looked back to where Robert was, packing down a s’more for Letty while she waited with clasped hands.
“They are the true OTP of the planet,” Madison said. “Lettbert. No. Robticia.”
“What’s odd to me,” Annie said, “is that it’s Letty. How is that possible?”
“Dude,” Madison said, “don’t.”
“I’m just saying—”
“Stop,” Madison said. “Letty is off-limits.” Annie rolled her eyes. “I’m serious, Annie,” Madison said. “She’s an angel.” She held up her right hand, as though swearing an oath and in turn looked on them all with an air of authority. “Red light on Letty. For life. She is golden.”
Annie turned away. She made eye contact with Chad, who shook his head and mouthed the words, “ME NEITHER.” This was seen by Madison, whose eyes flashed as she looked back and forth between them. Chad held up his hands in front of his face, palms outward, pretending to shake with fear. Annie turned further away.
“Anyways,” Madison said, keeping her eyes fixed on Annie, “I think they’re cute. And I better be a freakin’ bridesmaid.”
“Or a flower girl,” said Jody.
“Shut up, Jody,” Madison said and laughed. “That would be cute, though. Actually, yeah, that would be damn cute. Adult flower girl is a fire concept. I’m gonna ask.”
“You can’t ask,” Chad said.
“Oh, yes I can.”
“You don’t ask people to be in their wedding, Madison. They ask you.”
“Hmm,” Madison said, “I’m trying to remember the last time someone asked you to be in their wedding, Chad.”
He seemed about to respond but closed his mouth and turned away.
“Anyways,” Madison said, “I think it’s cute. But whatever.”
“She’s lucky,” Jody said. “I’ve heard he’s rad in bed.”
“So they say,” Madison said.
“Jody,” Chad said, “c’mon, dude.”
“I said, ‘I heard,’ Chad.”
“I know what you said.”
“Shut. Up. CHAD.” Madison spit out his name as though merely to speak it caused her pain. Her inner circle became silent, as did to a lesser degree the next closest ring. Chad looked around at the group and then to Jody, who looked at the ground. “Anyways,” Madison began, returning immediately to her former disposition, “good for her.”
“Can you imagine Robert Walsh being your first?” Jody said. Her lower eyelids glittered, but her face showed happy enthusiasm.
“Why, yes. Yes, I can,” Madison said, winking.
“No way!” Annie said.
“No,” Madison said, “of course not.” She placed her hands over where she assumed her heart to be and gazed into the night sky, fluttering her eyelids. “But I can imagine.” Everyone laughed with the exception of Chad, who rose and left the group. As he walked away, not even Jody turned to look.
“It has been way too long for me,” Annie said. “If I don’t use my vagina soon it might close up.”
“What’s stopping you?” Jody said.
“For reals,” Madison said. “There’s plenty of guys here. Just take one.”
“Naw, not these guys. No more little bro-hoes. I need, like, a silver fox with good manners.”
“You go, hoe,” Madison said.
“But where to find one,” Annie said, “is the hard part.”
“There’s plenty,” Madison said.
“Oh, really,” Annie said, “and where are they?”
“Newport Beach,” Madison said. Her friends laughed. “No, seriously. I was in Orange County a couple weeks ago with my parents, and there was, like, a freakin’ surplus of hot boomer guys everywhere. Every one of them undressing me with their eyes.” As she spoke this last sentence, she fluttered her eyelashes.
“You didn’t want one?” Annie said.
“I have Terrance to keep me warm,” Madison said.
“Oh, Maddie,” Jody said, now dry-eyed and smiling coyly. Madison smirked in return.
“What about your neighbors?” Annie said.
“What neighbors?”
“The ones that have, like, sex parties all the time.”
“Ew,” Jody said, “so gross.” Annie glared.
“Why would you say that, Jody?” Jody did not respond. She then looked at Maddie, who stared back, impassive. Annie seemed about to say something, but then her shoulders relaxed, and she began rifling through her purse. When she found what she was looking for, she held it up for her friends to see. It was a fluorescent green Sticky Bumps wax box. She opened it to show the contents, two condoms in gold foil wrappers and one small Band Aid. All near her were silent. “I put this in my bag for Catalina, remember? I packed these two condoms and five Band Aids.” The outer rim of youths made a pretense of distraction, but all attention was centered on Annie. “If they’re still in here when I use this last Band Aid,” she said, holding up the tiny strip between two fingers, “I’m killing myself.”
“Annie,” Jody said, “don’t say that.”
“I’m serious. And I’m not wasting them on some fuckboy. I want a grown-ass man with a yacht and an ex-wife and a daughter my age, so I have someone to shop with while daddy’s working.” Jody laughed. Then the crowd laughed. Madison covered her nose and mouth with her hands, and squeezed her eyes shut.
“What are you doing, Madison?” Annie said. Madison shook her head, without removing her hands or opening her eyes.
“I can’t,” Madison mumbled through her fingers.
“What?” Annie said. “You can’t what?” Madison only shook her head again. “God, Maddie ... what?” Madison opened her eyes, looked about her, and then took Annie and Jody by the wrists and led them away. She pulled them with her down to the water’s edge. Once there, she released her friends and then grabbed their wrists again and pulled them close.
“Geez, Maddie,” Annie said, “you’re so extra. Just say it.”
