Grandview, p.14
Grandview, page 14
Jody looked back to where some of the more curious from the larger group stood watching them from beside the tree.
“Okay,” Madison said, “but you can’t tell anyone, okay?”
“Okay,” Jody said, nodding. Annie crossed her arms and sighed.
“Okay?” Madison repeated, and Annie nodded. “So check this out. You know Heather O’Brien, right?”
“Letty’s aunt or whatever?” Jody said.
“Her brother is married to Letty’s sister,” Madison said, “I don’t know what that makes them.” Madison checked around them for listening ears, looking from side to side. She then cupped her hand over her mouth, and whispered, “I saw her. Next door.”
“What?” Annie said.
“Next door,” Madison said, slightly louder, still covering her mouth. “At my neighbor’s house.” Annie’s eyes brightened. Madison nodded. “Yes.”
“Like, involved?” Annie said. Again, Madison nodded.
“That’s not even the crazy part,” Madison said, dropping her hand from her mouth and shaking her head. She then grabbed her own pigtails, one in each hand, and pulled them, as though struggling to restrain herself from speaking. She yanked down multiple times and squealed. Her friends waited patiently, understanding that for Madison to continue no coercion was necessary. “Okay,” Madison began, no longer covering her mouth, “Patricia, that’s my neighbor, she’s gone traveling somewhere, right? So I was trippin’ cuz I saw someone at the house, like, fully banging. Like, fully banging.”
“Outside?” Jody asked.
“No, in one of the bedrooms. They had the window open.”
“You were looking in their window?” asked Annie. “Maddie ...”
“No, of course not,” Madison said. “Not like that. I was closing my window and theirs was open. It’s like, right outside.” Annie shook her head.
“That’s weird, Maddie.”
“Dude,” Maddie said, “I wasn’t looking on purpose. They were right there in front of the window.”
“So, what’s your point? She was there having sex. At the sex house. Where I literally intend on going myself someday.” Madison gurgled with frustration, clenching her fists.
“With Alberto, dude!” Jody’s jaw fell slowly open. Annie drew close to Madison and took hold of her by the shoulders.
“Alberto.” Maddie nodded vigorously. “Heather O’Brien, and Alberto. As in Letty’s punk-ass ex-boyfriend?”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.”
“No way,” Annie said, “I can’t believe that. No way.”
“Yes way,” Madison said. “Way way.” Jody rubbed her temples.
“Are you sure? Like, one-hundred percent?”
“Seriously, Maddie,” Annie said, “that’s so heavy. You gotta be sure.” Maddie dropped her hands to her hips.
“Would I say it if I wasn’t sure?” The girls were silent. Annie nodded.
“Okay. Sorry. But ... oh shit.”
“I know, right? It was so trippy.”
“Should we tell Letty?” Jody asked.
“What?” Madison said. “Why?”
“Because,” Jody said, “why do you think, Maddie?”
“Why would she care? She’s with Robert now.”
“Yeah,” Annie said, “it’s not her business. Really, it isn’t ours either. This is some peeping Tom type shit.”
“Which is why,” Maddie said, “I said you can’t tell anyone.”
From behind and above them they heard Madison’s name being called. They looked up to see Shayla standing there. “Your brother’s looking for you,” she said.
“How long have you been there?” Madison asked.
“Don’t worry, girls,” Shayla said, “Whatever tea you’re spilling, I couldn’t care less.” To Madison again she said, “Your brother’s looking for you,” and then turned and walked away.
“I like her,” Madison said, “but I also don’t like her.”
“She’s different,” Annie said.
“I think she’s rad,” Jody said.
“She’s something,” Madison said, and began walking up to where her brother waited.
Chapter 34: Loyalties
Madison caught up with Shayla, and soon after they joined the group around the fire. Her brother was nowhere to be found.
“Where is he?” Madison asked, frustrated.
“I don’t know,” said Shayla, looking around. “There.”
She pointed to the concrete area in front of the restrooms where Eddie squatted near a homeless woman with whom he was in conversation. The woman shouted something out and waved her hand at him in a strange, aggressive gesture. Eddie got up and walked away quickly to where his sister stood with Shayla.
“What was that about?” Madison asked as Eddie approached.
“I don’t know. She’s crazy.”
“Uh, yeah. What was she saying to you?”
“She wanted money, so I gave her a few bucks. Then she asked for food, so I made her a plate, but I didn’t do it right or something. I couldn’t tell what she was trying to say.”
“Ugh,” Madison said, “so gross.”
“It’s sad. That’s what it is,” Eddie said. They looked back to where the woman ate the disapproved food, shoving torn pieces of hamburger into her mouth and mumbling to herself. As they watched, a man of similar rank sat down beside her. She handed him a hot dog and poured some chips into his waiting lap. They spoke and gestured together, and then she and the man turned and looked directly at Eddie.
“Oh my God,” Madison said.
“It’s fine,” Eddie said, “I know that guy. He’s okay.”
“He’s not okay,” Madison said. “You know what, Eddie? One of these days, you’re gonna get jacked by some filthy-ass bums, dude.”
“I don’t think he will,” Shayla said.
“He keeps a little dog in that backpack thing,” Eddie said. Madison sighed.
“Why were you looking for me?”
“Yeah,” Eddie said. “You have all the certificates and stuff, right?”
“The award thingies?”
“Yeah.”
“They’re in my car.”
“Okay, well, I want to do that before it gets too late.”
“I’m not going up there by myself,” Madison said, watching as the homeless couple scarfed down the last of Eddie’s food.
“Can you go with her, Shayla?” Eddie said. Shayla sighed.
“Sure,” she said. “C’mon, Maddie, let’s go.” Maddie continued staring. “Maddie,” Shayla repeated, “let’s go.” Madison shivered with disgust and wiped her eyes as though to clean them. She called out to Shayla and asked her to wait. Shayla stopped but did not turn around. Madison hurried to where Shayla stood, and the two began their ascent together.
Shayla read off names and listed achievements while Madison passed out gift cards and certificates of appreciation. The applause—revived continually at the mention of each recipient’s name—never quite died away but changed in character as time wore on and arms grew tired. By the light of the bonfire, Madison distributed the heavy parchment certificates like an agent of the Counter-Reformation, peddling indulgences among the gathered nobility of some disputed coastal province. In her arms, the gold foil seals glimmered against the darkness like the ocelli of an otherwise invisible miniature peacock. Throughout the crowd of mostly young people, an atmosphere of cozy goodwill prevailed, while they awaited patiently the ceremony’s completion, longing to resume their idle chatter and fun. Robert and Leticia sat close together, sharing a tie-dye fleece blanket, surrounded by friends.
Robert’s turn came. For the first time since the start of the ceremony, the entire crowd applauded and cheered in unison, including those who had drifted preemptively back into private conversation prior to his name being called. As he rose up to receive from Madison his certificate, he stooped quickly to tuck the blanket back over Letty’s shoulders. This inspired oohs and aahs from several places, especially from among Madison’s entourage. Letty flushed and tried to make herself small in the chair. Robert accepted the tokens gracefully and was about to sit back down when Eddie stood up and called out his name, asking him to remain standing. Robert turned to face Eddie, himself now blushing. Letty reached out from under the blanket and took his hand.
“Robert,” Eddie said, “I know you don’t like being put on the spot. We all know you hate shit like this.” General laughter arose, degenerating quickly into assorted chattering and whispers. “I just ... I need to say this here, in front of everybody. Thank you. Thank you, man. The other night ...” Eddie paused, looking from face to face around him. Gradually, the tittering ceased. Looking back to Robert, he said, “All that, that’s water under the bridge. You’re my bro, and I know you were just trippin’ out. And that’s okay, man, and we’re cool, and I appreciate everything you’ve done to help me with this project from the very beginning.” Various shouts of affirmation came from here and there about them. “Besides,” Eddie added, significantly, “it looks like you got the girl, so ...”
Wild cheering broke out around them, with Robert and Leticia’s names shouted out amid suggestive whistles and howls. Leticia let go of Robert’s hand and pulled the blanket over her head. Robert crossed his arms and shook his head, unable to restrain his own widening smile. Eddie crossed over to Robert and extended his arms, and they embraced. The same individuals cheered over this as they had at Robert’s care for Letty, and the applause began again, continuing as the two men released each other, and Eddie kneeled down in front of Letty. She extended her arms without removing the blanket, like some kind of hippy ghost, and she and Eddie embraced that way.
While rising to his feet, Eddie glimpsed through the fire two dark, shining eyes, looking back into his questioningly. Gentle eyes in a slender face, a dryad’s face, full of wit, kindness, and perspicacity, everything he had ever wanted in a prospective mate. The memory of that short walk to the parking lot seemed to belong to another day, long past and half-forgotten. She was here and clearly wanted him. They wanted each other, and she was alive, roughly his age and beautiful.
The veil of sorrow dropped once more. Slowly, it lowered itself between them, straight into and unaffected by the swirling, orange flames. It behaved as always, before his eyes, darkness faithful, regret and shame, woven on looms eternal before the dawn of time. He saw Shannon crinkle her nose as she always did while laughing, for they had not yet fought, nor arrived to the trailhead. He was driving. He squeezed her knee and she said, “Stop!” But her eyes twinkled and she added, “Not yet.” Shannon, he thought, forgive me. How close he had come tonight, so near the profanity of giving his love to another woman, while his own enduring life was so plainly forfeit.
Suddenly, Eddie felt a powerful urge to get away from everything and everyone around him. He also needed badly to urinate. Hurriedly, he jogged to the restroom, circumventing his guests and blocking out their many voices. Robert followed him, first with his eyes and then with his body. Leticia, who shared Robert’s concern, rose from her chair and watched him as he went. Veronica, confused, sat wondering. Kylie, firsthand witness to the bizarre exchange from the place beside her friend, sat by Veronica’s side in silent unity.
Robert did not find Eddie upon entering the restroom. Fleeting, illogical terror seized him as he tried to make sense of his friend’s evaporation. The fear sizzled like carbonation behind his eyes until he spotted Eddie’s feet beneath the door of a stall. Eddie’s feet, in their distinctive red flip-flops, were perpendicular to the toilet, and by the angle of his legs Robert knew he was leaning his back against the metal wall.
“Eddie,” Robert said, “you okay, bud?” Eddie did not answer, and his feet did not move. “Eddie, bro. You all right, man?” Still, Eddie did not answer, although his feet shifted a little in their red sandals. Robert waited, leaving time for his question to breathe.
“Rob?”
“Yeah.”
“Your voice sounds weird from in here, man.”
“Your voice sounds weird all the time, bro,” Robert said. “I didn’t want to tell you before, but I figured now was a good time.”
Eddie gave a little laugh, and in his laugh Robert could hear that he had been crying.
“Thanks for the heads up.”
“You got it.”
“Rob?”
“Yeah.”
“Anyone else in here?”
“No.”
“I’m trippin’ out, bud.”
“I can tell. It’s okay.”
“I’m trippin’ bad, man.”
“Shannon?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s okay,” Robert said softly. “That’s okay, Eddie. I understand, bro.”
“I know you do.”
“Think you can come out yet?”
“No,” Eddie said, “not yet.”
“That’s fine, dude. Want me to hang out?”
“That would be cool, yeah.”
“Okay, I will. Do me a favor though?”
“Maybe.”
“They got seat covers in there?” There was a brief pause.
“Yeah,” Eddie said.
“Would you mind sitting on the toilet at least so it doesn’t look as weird? Someone’s gonna walk in eventually.”
Robert heard the papery sounds of Eddie preparing the seat, and then saw his feet shift and turn, and then Eddie seated himself and became quite ordinary in appearance. Right then, as though having waited for that moment, a young man, obviously drunk, staggered in. After letting go the metal pattern on the heavy, decorative security doors, he steadied himself against the wall with his left arm, eventually by this technique leading himself into the changing area. There, he fell to his knees and vomited on the floor. The poor soul then dragged himself to the concrete bench like a wounded infantryman, crawled up, and laid down. The door to Eddie’s stall opened.
“That kinda killed the vibe,” Eddie said as he approached Robert, dabbing at his reddened eyes with a small handful of toilet paper.
“I’d say,” Robert replied.
They walked back together, taking the longest possible route, by way of B Street by way of Third Street by way of C Street. As they neared the horseshoe Robert put out his arm and stopped Eddie.
“Dude, I’m sorry man. I need to get awkward for a sec before we get back there.”
“I think I know what you’re gonna say, but go ahead and shoot.”
“You and Veronica ...” Eddie lowered his head and nodded.
“Yeah.”
“She’s a good friend,” Robert said. “Like, a really good friend, bro.”
“I know. I know, man.”
“I just don’t want to see her get hurt. If you’re not ready ... you get what I’m sayin’?”
“Yeah, I get what you’re saying.”
They stood quietly together, observing from afar their friends, acquaintances, and collaborators, who from that distance appeared small and isolated on the night beach, clustered about the blazing fire like B-movie survivors of some apocalyptic event.
Chapter 35: Scientific
Some of the black pegs representing indistinctly the people Eddie and Robert stood watching debated fiercely issues of local import. At the center of the conversation sat Veronica, though her mind was fixed on the darkened place beyond, where Robert and Eddie stood just recognizable. That between herself and Eddie had been lit passion’s wick was impossible to deny. Eddie’s warm diffidence had been, for a moment, mystically and unmistakably coupled to her own. But something changed, and he pulled away. And the face he had made seconds beforehand cemented her growing doubts. That face hung before her mind’s eye, cruelly incurious, disinterested and cold, a statement made without words, indeed more clear than words.
“Meghan,” said Braden, a tousled blond with a significant bandage under his right eye, “respectfully, that’s the whackest thing thing I have ever heard anyone say in my life.”
“It’s true,” replied Meghan, a straight-haired blonde with darkly tanned skin, “and I think you know it’s true. You just don’t like it, because if you admit that you believe it you’ll have to live differently.” Braden laughed.
“Skip you, Meghan. You hardly know me. I respect your work with Eddie’s thing, but you don’t surf. And I’m glad you don’t, just being honest.”
“I don’t need to surf to recognize systemic injustice.”
“Injustice? What are you talking about?”
“Look around you next time you’re in the water.”
“What?”
“Look around at the people around you. Maybe you’ll notice something they seem to have in common.”
“Always do, Meghan,” Braden said, “always do. Which is what kooks like your brother don’t do, which is why we have this problem in the first place.”
“So? He’s learning,” Meghan said. “Weren’t you learning once?”
“We all start somewhere. That’s not the point.”
“It’s totally the point. He has every right to belong to whatever activity he wants, just like you.”
“Your brother’s a kook, Meghan. Pure and simple. He belongs on the sand with you.”
“Like you just said though, you were a kook once, right?”
“No, I didn’t say that. I was never a kook.”
“You just said you were.”
“No, I was just a little grom, out there paying my dues and figuring it out, like God intended. Beginners and kooks aren’t even the same thing, you just don’t understand that because you don’t surf, and your brother is a kook. I assure you that. And I don’t want to see him anywhere near me.”
“Where should he go then?”
“Fuckin’ anywhere but here.”
“Where then?”
“Anywhere I’m not. Definitely not Swami’s.”
“Where? Where should he go?”
“Actually, you know where he should go? And I’m not joking. You know where? Doheney. He needs to go up to Doheney with all the other kooks and learn how to surf. Not here.”
“Dude,” piped in Tiff, Braden’s girlfriend, “Doheney can get rad.” Tiff, whose long red hair tumbled over the serape she wore, had been a competitive longboarder in her youth.
