The secret santa project, p.8
The Secret Santa Project, page 8
‘It was Jolene,’ said Jerry, ‘trying to cheer the place up.’
‘Yes, that’s all,’ said Jolene, wondering why that was such a crime.
‘Aaaah, of course it was,’ said Stacey.
‘I brought reindeer biscuits for the team meeting,’ said Jolene hopefully. Why was it so hard to be nice to these people? And why were they all always so miserable? No one could be cross about reindeer biscuits, could they? And why did they all seem to hate everything to do with Christmas so much? She didn’t understand. She’d hoped that the Secret Santa Project would get everyone in a festive mood, but it didn’t appear to be working.
Then Diane came striding in with a face like thunder. She looked more than angry, she looked livid. A couple of strides behind her followed Kev, the man from HR.
‘Look, Diane,’ he said, running into her office, ‘this is not really—’
‘Sit down,’ she commanded.
‘But—’
‘Sit down,’ she repeated before she stuck her head out of the door and shouted into the office, ‘Team meeting – now!’
Jolene looked around her, petrified, wondering what on earth was going on. Jerry stood and picked up a pen and notebook, and Jolene followed suit. She followed him into Diane’s office. Stacey soon joined them, arching her eyebrows at Jerry. Then Barney ambled in, sat down heavily in a seat and crossed his arms defensively.
Diane looked around her.
‘Jolene, fetch Yang,’ she instructed. Jolene high-tailed out of the office and jumped up and down in front of Yang, who was nodding his head to whatever was streaming through his headphones.
‘“Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”,’ he offered as he took one of his headphones off.
‘Diane needs you in her office, now. Urgent meeting.’
‘Oh, sorry,’ he said. ‘I’ll be right there. Just need the loo.’
Jolene shook her head rapidly. ‘Not sure she’ll want to wait. The HR guy is in there.’
‘Not good,’ he muttered, putting his headphones on the table and heading towards Diane’s office. He took the last remaining chair, rendering Jolene seatless.
‘Drag in a chair,’ Diane instructed.
Jolene turned and grabbed the nearest one, which happened to be Barney’s.
‘Not my chair,’ he bellowed. ‘That’s my chair.’
‘Sorry, sorry, so sorry,’ muttered Jolene, pulling it out of the office again. She grabbed her own seat, which was very uncomfortable, and finally sat down to join the others.
‘Right,’ said Diane. ‘I have just come out of a briefing meeting with HR and rather than me pass on the news I thought it only fair that HR should come and do their own dirty work.’
‘Really, Diane,’ said Kev, looking extremely flustered, ‘we provided you with all the tools. Line managers are meant to be briefing their teams, not the HR Department.’
‘Why?’ asked Diane.
‘Er, because that’s your job,’ said Kev. ‘I’m sure it’s in your terms and conditions. I can look it up for you, if you want, and if you have an issue perhaps we can set up a meeting between you and your line manager to discuss your concerns over your job role.’
‘My concern over my job role is that I didn’t realise that I had to do all the shitty stuff. Deliver news and decisions that I was not a part of. To be dictated to. I hadn’t clocked that. I didn’t realise that I worked for a dictatorship.’
Jolene looked nervously around the table. Everyone was leaning well back, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire.
‘Are you aware of our counselling number?’ Kev asked Diane. ‘Stress in the workplace is very common and not something you should suffer alone.’
‘The only thing giving me stress is the cock-eyed way people make decisions in this place and then expect the rest of us to just lie down and take it. Now, Kev, please will you deliver the message directly to my team?’
Kev looked around nervously. He took what looked like a PowerPoint presentation out of a plastic sleeve and turned over the first page. Diane slammed her hand over the paper.
‘These guys don’t need the bullshit preamble about efficiencies and effective working. Just cut to the chase, Kev.’
Kev looked round the room.
‘We need to reduce head-count across the board,’ said Kev. He swallowed. ‘Diane has been asked to lose one body from this department.’
There was silence round the table.
‘I knew this would happen,’ said Stacey, instantly looking close to tears.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ said Barney, folding his arms even tighter than they were before.
‘We’re overstretched as it is!’ complained Jerry.
Yang bowed his head.
Jolene scanned the room. Diane looked livid still. Jerry, Stacey and Yang looked pretty defeated. Barney looked defiant. She swallowed. This was her worst nightmare. There was really only one answer, though, and she knew it.
‘It should be me,’ she said, her voice breaking as she spoke. ‘I was last in. I’ll just go now, shall I?’ She got up from her chair, fighting back the tears.
‘Sit down,’ commanded Diane.
Jolene sat down. No one was going to argue with that command.
‘You’re safe,’ Diane said to her. ‘You’re part of the graduate training scheme so you don’t come out of my budget. You’re not part of my head-count. It has to be someone else.’
Jolene stared back at her.
‘But that doesn’t seem fair,’ she said.
Diane sniffed. ‘Welcome to the real world, honey,’ she said. ‘Life isn’t fair.’
‘But, but … that feels like I’m taking someone else’s job,’ Jolene continued, ‘and you’re all way more qualified than me, and have been here so much longer. That can’t be right, can it?’ She looked at Kevin. ‘Can it, Kevin?’ she asked him.
‘Yes, why don’t you explain it to her?’ said Diane, folding her arms in much the same was as Barney had done. Everyone turned to look at Kev.
‘Well, it’s, er, about budgets, you see, and your wages in the first year of you being a graduate trainee are paid out of a different budget, which has already been committed, not the budget for this department. We’re asking all departments to make salary savings.’
‘What you will learn, Jolene,’ said Diane, ‘is that, for the most part, the world of work is unfair. You will experience many times in your working life unfair activity and there is nothing you can do about it. People will decide things that affect your work without consulting you. You will not be congratulated for your humungous efforts but will be chastised and punished for the smallest error. As you get older your acquired skills and maturity over many years will not be valued. Instead you’ll be sidelined for your age, whilst younger models will be brought in to make the same mistakes that you’ve already learned from. You will experience many different changes of leadership and structure, all of which will emulate identical philosophies of times gone by, but will be deemed as the brave new world until they crash and burn and you are forced to go back and do it the old way. Your life choices will not be respected, and you’ll be expected to put work before illness or children or major life events, such as watching your child win a medal at sports day or play a donkey in their one and only Nativity play. Work will ask you to miss moments that should be lifetime memories for the sake of attendance at a meeting that you have absolutely no influence over, and that shouldn’t be happening in the first place. The world of work is not fair, Jolene. End of.’
There was silence around the table.
‘On behalf of the HR department, I’d like to point out that we do everything we can to make work a fair environment,’ said Kev. ‘And most importantly provide a safe place for people to come and tell us of any unfair practices.’
‘So if I walk into your office after this meeting and tell you of this outrageously unfair practice, then you are going to sort it out, are you?’ asked Barney. ‘If I come and tell you that I can’t lose this job because I’m too old to get another job and … and I’ve worked for the council for thirty years and that means nothing and that doesn’t seem fair, you’re going to listen, are you?’
Jolene looked at him, amazed. That was the most she had ever heard him say.
‘Yeah,’ nodded Stacey. ‘What if I come down there and say you promised me flexitime as those are the only hours I can do because I’m a single mum and my whole life depends on it, and I work above and beyond every day, and catch up at home at the weekend because I so need this job. What are you going to say to that?’
‘Look,’ said Kev, holding up his hands. He looked at Diane, clearly wanting her to help him out, but she was equally clearly having none of it. ‘I’m sure you all have a million reasons why you need your jobs, but tough decisions have to be made. We need to save money. Now, I’m really sorry, but I have to be in a health-and-safety forum in the other building in five minutes so I have to go.’ He got up and straightened his jacket. ‘Please can I signpost once again the counselling helpline that HR set up—’
‘Get stuffed, Kev,’ said Diane.
Kev nodded and backed out.
‘I’m sorry, guys,’ said Diane. ‘I had no idea this was coming. This morning was the first time I heard about any people cuts. I’ll be going to see the council leader about this to make my case that we can’t afford to lose anyone, but it seems that it’s across the board so I don’t hold out much hope.’
Jolene looked up forlornly at her Christmas decorations hanging from the ceiling next door and thought about the reindeer biscuits under her desk that she had planned to distribute at the team meeting. She didn’t think any of them would be in the mood for them now. The world of work wasn’t working out at all how she had wanted it to.
She glanced over at the person to whom she had been assigned Secret Santa. She absolutely knew that the thing they would most want for Christmas was to keep their job. That would truly make their Christmas. She wondered if there was anything at all she could do to make sure that happened.
Suddenly a woman with grey hair burst into the office.
‘The mayor has been waiting,’ she announced, glaring at Diane.
‘What for?’ replied Diane.
‘The Children’s Christmas Party meeting,’ replied the woman. ‘It was due to start five minutes ago. He’s left for the day now; says he’ll see you in his office at nine sharp on Monday morning.’
‘Bloody hell,’ said Diane. ‘He still thinks he’s going to throw a party when we’re cutting jobs? Where does he think he’s getting the money from?’
The woman shrugged. ‘I think that’s what he wants you to find the answer to, and he wants you to make it happen. Everyone else has refused to help him. He’s determined to do something. I put the meeting in your diary yesterday.’
‘That’s the last thing I need,’ said Diane. ‘We really have too much on.’
‘I’ll go,’ said Jolene, shooting up her hand.
Diane stared at her.
‘I really don’t think—’ began Jerry.
‘No, I think that’s a good idea,’ interrupted Diane. ‘Thank you, Jolene. You go to the meeting. He’ll be nice to you. Just listen to what the mayor has to say about this Children’s Christmas Party. Take notes, but tell him that I said we have no money. That’s all you need to do.’
‘Great, brilliant,’ replied Jolene, getting up. ‘I’ll start working on it now.’ She pushed past the mayor’s secretary, who had arrived to share the news.
‘Not sure that’s a good idea,’ muttered Jerry.
‘Not sure any of us are in the right frame of mind to be discussing Christmas parties,’ replied Diane. ‘And Jolene needs something to do. Deflecting the mayor would be really useful. What’s the worst that can happen?’
‘I think we’ll find out,’ replied Jerry.
Diane looked at him. ‘Brief her, will you?’ she asked. ‘Tell her to make sure he knows there is no money, whatever he’s got in mind.’
‘Will do, boss,’ said Jerry. ‘Will do.’
‘And I’m sorry about the head-count announcement,’ added Diane, looking round the table at Jerry, Yang, Stacey, and Barney. ‘I really didn’t see it coming. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do.’ She put her head in her hands.
‘You’ll work it out,’ said Jerry. ‘You always do.’
Chapter 10
On the dot of five o’clock that evening Barney reached forward to switch his computer off as he always did.
Five minutes earlier Jolene had already tidied up her makeshift desk and closed her laptop down. Barney got up to take his coat from the rack by the door, buttoned it up and turned to leave without saying a word. Just as he did every night. Jolene shouted a hasty farewell as she scampered out the door after him, determined not to let him out of her sight.
Outside on the pavement, he pulled a knitted hat out of his pocket and put it over his head before heading left. Cars streamed past on the road, their headlights illuminating a very gentle snowfall, otherwise invisible in the dark air. Jolene smiled. She hoped it would get heavier. A dusting of snow on the ground over the weekend would be lovely. She walked briskly until she was alongside Barney. She was on a mission.
‘Hi, Barney,’ she said. ‘Didn’t know you lived this way. Mind if I walk with you?’
Barney barely glanced at her, just continued straight ahead, his hands deep in the pockets of his wool coat.
Jolene didn’t know what to say but she knew she needed to make conversation so she came out with the bog-standard opener for the entire duration of December.
‘So, are you ready for Christmas, then?’ she asked.
He said nothing.
‘I’m getting there. My closest friends live all over the place so I’m in the process of making them stuff. You know, stuff you can post. I’ve been crocheting A LOT! I think they’re going to really love what I’ve made. And as for family, well, they’re easy. Dad is obsessed with Arsenal so I give him Arsenal-branded stuff every year. Then Mum, well, last year I made her a cardigan, which she really liked, but this year I’m thinking we might go and do something together. So, maybe a pottery class or something. Something we can both enjoy. I used to do pottery up at uni and I really miss it. What about you, Barney? Do you have many to buy for?’
‘No,’ he replied gruffly.
‘Oh, right, good. That means it’s not so hard, then. Pretty straightforward, not having too many.’
Barney stopped abruptly at the edge of a road to let some cars go by. Then he pressed ahead.
‘I’ve already sent one present,’ said Jolene. ‘To my friend in the Cook Islands. Which I’d never heard of until we connected online. It’s a small island in the Pacific, kind of not far from New Zealand. She says I can visit any time, but I’ve looked at flights and they are so expensive, and I’ve still got my student loan to pay off and all that, so I don’t think it will be soon. Have you ever heard of the Cook Islands?’
‘Yes,’ said Barney as they headed through a gate into a park. It was very dark, with just a few lamps casting a dim light. The snow was getting slightly heavier now, to Jolene’s delight. However, she suddenly felt ill at ease. Where were they? She had been so busy chatting that she hadn’t noticed where they were going and now they were somewhere that was, quite frankly, a bit scary.
Barney stopped abruptly and faced her. ‘Why are you following me?’
‘I … I thought you might want some company on the way home.’
‘Well, I don’t,’ he said, turning and heading further into the park. She glanced back to where they had come from. She didn’t like the look of it. So dark. She didn’t want to be alone here. This was a scenario a female in her position would be warned not to enter. She rushed to catch up with Barney.
‘Can I just walk through with you the rest of the way. I … I don’t really want to walk alone.’
‘I’m not walking through,’ said Barney.
‘Oh,’ said Jolene. ‘Where are you going then?’
‘Here,’ he said. He strayed off the path and walked towards a clump of bushes. Oh my God, thought Jolene. What is he doing? What have I done?
She watched as Barney approached a bench just in front of the bushes, brushed some snowflakes off the seat, then sat down. He pulled his coat closer around him and bent his head. He sat absolutely still for what seemed like for ever. Jolene had no idea where she was now and no idea how to get out of the park. She had no choice but to go over and slowly lower herself beside him on the bench, trying to be invisible.
Barney stayed with his head bowed for some time as she sat as quietly as possible. Her eyes were getting used to the dark and she could now see that they were at one end of a large open space surrounded by trees. She could hear the hum of London in the background and the glow of the city rising above the trees. She felt herself relax slightly, feeling less threatened She could see her breath in the cold air and she watched as it twirled upwards, mingling with Barney’s.
Eventually Barney raised his head and looked across the field.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Jolene. ‘I was scared to be alone and I didn’t know where I was.’
‘Then you shouldn’t have followed me, should you?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said again. She paused for a moment. ‘Where are we?’ she asked. ‘It’s kind of beautiful. I imagine it’s lovely in the daylight.’
Barney sighed. ‘It’s Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens,’ he said. ‘Have you never been here before?’
‘No,’ said Jolene. ‘Didn’t even know it was here. Never heard of a Pleasure Gardens.’
Barney coughed.
‘It opened in the mid-seventeenth century,’ he began. ‘There were hot-air balloons and tightrope walkers and fireworks and music, apparently.’
‘Wow,’ said Jolene, trying to imagine all that happening so long ago. ‘Do they have entertainment here nowadays?’
‘They sometimes have a big screen over the summer, showing films, I think.’ He paused and swallowed. ‘They used to have an ice rink, right over there,’ he said, pointing.
‘Oh, I bet that was lovely,’ said Jolene. ‘I wonder why that stopped.’
