Da baddest, p.18
Da Baddest, page 18
When these girls tell me my music has been a blueprint or an inspiration for them, I get flashbacks to sneaking out of the back of the store to watch the women in the Uncle Luke video and eavesdropping on the ladies in my mom’s shop when I was supposed to stay out of grown folks’ conversations. I see the silly things young people take seriously these days, but you never know how those random memories can shape you and follow you into adulthood.
* * *
Keenya was a friend of mine from Miami growing up. She was another baddie in the city, and we always ran in similar circles. She used to get her hair done at my mom’s shop, and we saw each other at parties and clubs as we got older. She had a beautiful baby girl named Caresha, who became my goddaughter. Caresha was only four years old when I started rapping, but whenever I could, I made sure I spent time with her. One year, I took her to the county fair with a security detail. I wanted it to be a normal experience, but she noticed the people trying to wave and say hello to me. She thought it was so cool that her godmom was a celebrity, and she was smiling back at them like she was, too.
Caresha was always confident and self-assured. When she got older, she was gorgeous, fashionable, and popping on social media. She was becoming an It Girl just like her godmom, even though she still had to navigate motherhood and life in some rough parts of Miami. I was surprised when she started rapping with her friend JT because I didn’t think she’d go the music route, but they took it seriously. They called themselves City Girls and did shows around Miami. When one of their songs went viral and they signed to Quality Control, I was so happy for them and even happier that they had each other to navigate the industry with.
Neither Keenya nor I would have turned my curse-filled songs on to set a good example for Caresha when she was a little girl. Not many parents would. But she still learned how to make her confidence work for her. She was able to completely change her and Keenya’s life because City Girls became one of the most successful hip-hop groups. She was in the same position I was, having to sink or swim, and she had a blueprint for how to make it work. That’s the impact I’m most grateful to have on any woman’s life.
There are so many different paths for women to take in the industry, but it’s not complete freedom. People see pretty pictures and hear confident lyrics, and they don’t consider how hard it is out here for these girls. They are criticized so heavily, picked apart for what they look like, held to a different lyrical standard, and constantly put in competition with other women. The commentary is nonstop, and that can be such a huge block to creativity. It’s so easy for strangers to make a mockery of the art these women put their heart and passion into. Not to mention there are plenty of shady, trifling men waiting for a chance to take advantage of them. I was blessed to step into the industry with a group of guys who always had my back, but I know a lot of women don’t have that.
My advice to all the women in the industry is to do your thing to the fullest. Talk your shit. Feel comfortable in your skin. I’m not ever going to bend over to take a picture with my hand in my butt crack. But if it works for you, you should do it. If you want to be raunchy and ratchet as hell and shake your ass, you should do it. What’s the problem? It might not work for this crew, and it might not be the right cup of tea for that crew, but somebody is going to love it. You don’t need to seek validation from anyone else. Do what you want to do, not what everybody thinks you should be doing. Remember who you are, put yourself first, and go for it. Lean into the alter ego because you’re going to need one when you’re putting yourself out there for the public to consume you. Have fun with it and know that you can always change your mind. You are making songs, videos, and TikToks. This is not a presidential election. Yes, everything lives on the internet forever, but you are always in control of the tone you set. You can rebrand, pivot, or stop at any time. Don’t take yourself too seriously or succumb to the pressure to stay the same. As long as you’re confident and willing to stand ten toes down on what you decide to do, there will still be a platform for you to put it out on and make a check.
Rockstarr Music Festival is one of those platforms. I uplift and support the women coming in the game behind me. I’ve already earned my respect, so I don’t need younger artists to bow down at my feet or kiss my ass in order for me to show them love or collaborate with them. I’m not trying to be the deciding factor on who the best female rapper is, if this girl is trying to sound like someone else, if she’s classy or hood enough, or if her brand is exactly where it needs to be. These are artists. They don’t need my stamp of approval to keep doing their thing, but I’m happy to point them in the right direction.
It’s not enough to get paid for a feature or give somebody a quick shout-out in an interview. Creating opportunities for them to get better and grow is just as important. I remember watching Eve and Missy win their Grammys and knowing it was so special because Lauryn Hill was the only other woman in the game who had done it. It felt so monumental. Cardi B is a global superstar and the first female solo artist to win a Best Rap Album Grammy. Now we don’t have to wait years to see women nominated in top categories. The girls are always exceptional, but we’re not exceptions anymore.
* * *
For me, being the baddest was never just about the physical beauty, the money, the status symbols, or perfection. I’ve been fine all of my life and always dated people who were bossed up. I still had to boss up on my own. I am not perfect by any means. People who know me know that I do not like to sit still, and I get overwhelmed super easily. I still have a problem being on time, and it’s very likely that I’ll need to smoke some weed before I walk into any building. I am not afraid of my emotions, but I can definitely be a hothead when I’m upset. If some shit is going down now, I’m feeling it now, and if I need a moment, I need a moment. Trying to talk me into feeling differently, sharing your opinions, or forcing me to process my emotions before I’m ready is only going to make it worse. I don’t assume to know how other people are feeling, and I don’t want them to try to tap into what I am feeling. I need to be able to express my full range of emotions, and then I can move on. Otherwise, I’ll explode. But I’m okay with my imperfections because at the root of it, being the baddest is about knowing who you are and making the most out of it.
Trina at her birthday party with her sister, Laura, and mom.
Trina, fifth grade, at Liberty City Elementary School.
Hosting the Source Awards.
Hosting the Source Awards, Miami, Florida.
Trina with her mom doing hair at home.
Trina with niece Suga.
On the set of the “Here We Go” video shoot, 2012.
At the Source Awards, 2004, Miami, Florida.
“Here We Go” video shoot, 2012.
First performance, 1999, at The Moon, Tallahassee, Florida.
Trina, age five, with cousin Stella, age four, at their grandma’s house, Liberty City, Florida.
Trina with cousin Stella, Easter Sunday photo.
Eighth-grade prom.
On the set of Webbie’s “Bad Bitch” video as a featured artist, Miami Beach, Florida.
Trina, age four, in Ballerina Dolls, Miami, Florida.
“Da Baddest Bitch” photo shoot, Miami, Florida.
Trina with her new husband, Ben.
Club Story, Miami Beach, Florida.
Trina, third grade, at Liberty City Elementary School.
Trina with her sister, Laura, at their mom’s shop, Liberty City, Florida.
Trina, eighth-grade prom, the night her grandmother passed away.
At sister Laura’s graduation: (left to right) friend Pinkey, cousin Stella, Laura, Trina, and cousin Joy.
On the set of Silkk the Shocker’s “That’s Cool” video as a featured artist.
On the set of Webbie’s “Bad Bitch” video as a featured artist, Miami Beach, Florida.
With brother Snoop at Trick Daddy’s video shoot for “Boy.”
Hosting the Source Awards.
Trina, age sixteen, fun photo.
Trina, age four, with cousin Stella.
Trina, age eighteen, and friends: (left to right) Pinkey, Trina, the cameraman, godsister Angie, and cousin Stella.
With niece Suga.
Trina, second-grade photo.
Trina, age six, at her mom’s store with cousin Stella.
At sister Laura’s graduation: (left to right) friend Pinkey, cousin Stella, Trina, cousin Joy, and Laura.
Trina, age sixteen, fun photo at the flea market, Miami, Florida.
With brother Goonkie for his high school graduation.
With brother Goonkie.
With brother Goonkie after his football game.
Trina at a roller-skating rink for her birthday party with her sister, Laura, and mom.
On the set of a video shoot.
Going out with childhood friend Pinkey.
Trina, tenth grade, Miami Northwestern Senior High School majorette photo.
On the set for the “Da Baddest Bitch” video shoot.
Live performance, pictured with C.O. (formerly of Tre+6).
With niece Suga at the movie theater.
On the set of Trick Daddy’s “Nann” video shoot.
Glamorest Life photo shoot.
On the set of the “Told Y’all” video shoot, 2002.
Hosting the Source Awards, 2004, in Miami, Florida.
Acknowledgments
TRINA
First and foremost, I would like to thank God for gifting me with a voice that has been able to touch the world. To my beautiful mother, Vernessa Taylor: I could write a book filled with moments that I am able to cherish for the rest of my life. I am forever indebted to your wisdom, your support, your love, and the impression that you have left on our family. To my niece, my daughter that I didn’t birth but love limitlessly, Toni “Baby Suga” Chester: You were my ignition in moments when I didn’t know I needed it, a reflection of me in every way. Your memory will always live in me. To my brother, Wilbrent “Goonkie” Bain Jr.: I will cherish our bond and memories forever. Thank you for the love that you’ve always given me, no matter what my choices were. And to my loving best friend and sister, Laura Love: I will always ride with you and for you, no matter the depth. I know the pain that you may feel runs deep as a mother, but I will always be by your side to love you endlessly. You are my calm through the storms, just like our mom, and our sisterly bond is unbreakable. Thank you for always riding for me, even when you have no energy to do so. To my husband, Benjamin, I thank God for you. Thank you for completing me.
This book would not be possible without the support and hard work of Sesali Bowen. You helped me articulate things I’d only thought about, and consider things I hadn’t. Thank you for pushing me to be vulnerable and honest while reliving some of the hardest moments. I can’t imagine a better person to help bring this vision to life. You started on this project loving Trina, the artist. I’m glad that you now know Katrina, the woman.
To Liberty City (Miami): I am thankful to call you home and for all the support that you’ve shown me. Ted Lucas, we have had many trials and tribulations throughout my career under Slip-N-Slide Records, but I am thankful to be able to call you my family. Thank you for believing in me! Josh “Redd” Burke, thank you for taking me under your wing as management and helping me and my career to become legendary. I will not ever be able to repay you for the journey under your guidance and protection, but I am blessed to have been able to call on you at any given time for advice. Corey “C.O.” Evans, we have had such a ride since day one, and I appreciate you in more than one way. Thank you for defending my legacy and for being loyal to me even in moments that I may have been difficult to deal with. You are one of the core pieces of the team, and I appreciate you. Karen “KD” Douglas, we have been on this journey for seventeen years, and I trust in your feedback, direction, managerial work, and more importantly, your true friendship. Thank you for holding me down over the years, even when I gave you no room to! Aleesha Carter, thank you for being on point with my image, the brand, and my overall well-being, even during the darkest moments. You have truly been at the forefront on my behalf even when I had no strength to be such, and I am thankful to have you on my team. Thank you to Peas and Krystal Coleman.
To all my ROCKSTARRS worldwide: There would be no Trina without your continued support since I was introduced to the world in 1998. Thank you for always being front and center in everything I do. You guys are my extended family, not fans!
To my friend, my mentor, and someone that I admire for your talent and gift to the world, Missy Elliott: Thank you for believing in my career and my artistry and for always being a phone call away. You have always believed in me, even when I haven’t, and I will forever be honored to call you my friend.
And to everyone else that I have been able to work with in the music industry—too many to name—thank you for taking a chance on Katrina “Trina” Taylor.
SESALI BOWEN
First and foremost, I have to thank Trina. Thank you for graciously welcoming me into your city and your home. Thank you for being the first person to ever pull up on me in a Wraith, and for showing me the real Miami. Most importantly, thank you for trusting me to help you tell your story. I know it wasn’t easy. Both of us were tested by grief and stress during the process, but we made it to the finish line! Thank you for the years of game, pep talks, and inspiration that you’ve given me through your music. You were the first person to show me how to be the woman I want to be, not the woman everybody expects me to be. You truly helped raise me and a generation of bad bitches. Your legacy lives in all of us.
To Neil Martinez-Belkin: Thank you for being the plug on this one. I appreciate you for dropping gems. You helped me trust this process and reminded me that at the end of the day, shooters shoot and writers write.
Shout-out to the team at Simon & Schuster and DCL. To Lashanda Anakwah: Thank you for believing in and fighting for this project from the beginning. Wishing you so many blessings and success.
I would like to personally dedicate this book to my goddaughter, Aviana Grant. I think of you when I look up at the sky and it reminds me that there’s no limit to what I can accomplish. I hope I keep making you proud in heaven.
About the Authors
KATRINA “TRINA” TAYLOR is a platinum-selling hip-hop artist with more than two decades of success in the industry. She has released six studio albums, four EPs, and a multitude of additional recordings in her musical catalog. Her recognitions and nominations include the American Music Awards, Billboard Music Awards, MTV Video Music Awards, and much more. For her long-standing impact in culture and music, BET Networks honored her with the I Am Hip Hop Award in 2022. She is also the creator and producer of the Rockstarr Music Festival, hosted in her hometown. On May 14, 2022, Mayor Francis Suarez presented Trina with a key to the city of Miami.
SESALI BOWEN is the author of the acclaimed memoir-manifesto Bad Fat Black Girl: Notes from a Trap Feminist and the creator and host of Purse First, the first podcast exclusively about female and queer rap. She oversaw the entertainment vertical at NYLON magazine before branching out to write her first book. Her words have appeared in The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, InStyle, and more. She has also appeared on Netflix’s Explained and starred in campaigns for Showtime, VH1, and HBO. Behind the scenes, she provides creative marketing and storytelling services to brands and talent. Sesali was proudly born and raised on the South Side of Chicago and currently lives in New Jersey.
SimonandSchuster.com
www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Trina
www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Sesali-Bowen
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