Never again no more 6, p.3
Never Again, No More 6, page 3
Though I wanted to be at home enjoying a good book, I was becoming restless. Perhaps I’d settle for my old fallback and go shopping. Don’s wife was always asking to hang out, so I figured I could hit her up and put some damage on the Amex card. It was one of the rare days when I had the house to myself. Johanna was off, the boys were at football practice, Lexi was with Lincoln’s parents, and Ryan was at football practice as well.
But I knew what my biggest issue was. I wanted to talk to Lincoln. I went inside and poured myself a glass of wine and decided to call him. He couldn’t avoid me forever. Maybe they were on a break or something where I could finagle him into agreeing to meet with me.
Maybe not. It went straight to his voicemail. “You’ve reached Linc. At the tone, you know what to do. Have a good one.”
“Linc. It’s me. I know you’re at practice. I just wanted to call you and see how you were doing.” I paused before releasing a distressed sigh. “Lincoln, please call me so we can talk, and not about Lexi. About us. I need to know where your head and your heart are with me right now. Mine have been in the same place they’ve always been—with you. I miss you. Call me. Please.”
The greatest thing about the season was that I got to see Ryan less, but the worst part was that when he was home, he wanted to tear my back out, getting sex after bouts of absence. I tried to withhold sex from him, but it was hard living in the house with a man like Ryan. Not to mention, it was hard having urges for sex and not being able to get it from the person I wanted.
Being without Lincoln these past couple of weeks had me thinking a lot about the hardships in my life. The most pressing hardship of all was that it was hard—damn near unbearable—loving someone else and living a lie. I had to file for divorce. Forget my past mistakes, bad decisions, or even the effect it had on everyone’s lives. I was just tired of living a lie. I loved Lincoln, and I wanted to be his wife. If I had taken the time to come to this realization sooner, I might not have been sitting there wishing I had Lincoln in my life again.
“Hey, girl. Are you ready?” Felicia asked me as I answered my cell phone.
“Yes. I need a good relaxing day at the spa and a trip to the nail salon. I’m getting my purse now.”
“Well, I am like five minutes away. I’m just ready to blow up some of Don’s money. That new contract was fat!” She laughed.
“You are a mess.”
“I don’t know why you’re playing like you don’t know where I’m coming from, Mrs. Westmore. You are the boss with the most. The baddest boss bitch in town. The lady beside the prodigy—the fifty-million-dollar powerhouse feet. Those of us who are in your position crave to be like you, and those who aren’t would die to trade places with you. You are not the equivalent to the ish. You are the ish!”
“Wow. Here I thought I was just plain ol’ Charice from a little city called Atlanta who married her high school sweetheart. You guys sure know how to make people feel superhuman.”
“Honey, please. You stopped being regular the moment Ryan signed that NFL contract,” she said. “But I guess that’s why he’s Mr. Faithful, unlike Don. You’re so down to damn Earth that you keep him grounded. Tell me, how do you have access to all that you have and still manage to act as if you don’t?”
“Trust me. If you had a history with Ryan as I do, it’d be easy. In life, I guess I’ve learned to expect less out of most people. That way, if they give me more, I’m pleasantly surprised, and if I get less, then I didn’t get any more out of them than I expected in the first place. That way, I’m never disappointed.”
“Oh, I get it. Men. Honey, we all expect less out of a man. Just like next week, I expect Don will be in some titty bar or with some exotic model. Just as long as I can expect that money to stay in our house, I’m not trying to put a noose on that man. If he’s faithful, then score one for Felicia. If not, score one for that Amex,” she joked.
I just shook my head as my line beeped. “Girl, I’ll see you when you get here. I have to take this call.”
“All right, girl.”
She hung up, and I clicked over. “Hello?”
“Hi, Charice. How are you?” my attorney asked.
“I’m doing pretty good considering.”
She sighed. “You poor thing. I understand, honey. Is now a good time?”
“I have a few minutes. I’m actually going out with one of my girlfriends for a girls’ day.”
“Well, that’s great. You probably need that,” she encouraged. “If it’s not too much trouble, can you stop by my office to pick up some paperwork? I just need you to go through it and make sure all of the terms we decided to ask for are what you want. Let me know if I need to make any changes or adjustments.”
“Umm, well, I’ll probably be out for at least three hours. I can cut the day short after the spa and nail salon.”
“Oh, the simple pleasures that I must rush to enjoy. I can’t remember the last time I had time for a spa treatment,” she said, sounding starry eyed about my day of fun.
An idea came to me. “Why don’t you come with us? Felicia doesn’t have to know that you’re my attorney. She can just think you’re my friend who happens to be an attorney.”
“Girl, I’m not sure about that. I need to finish up so much stuff.”
She reminded me so much of myself, making time for everything and everyone except for self.
“Nonsense. You can do that stuff later. Why don’t you just meet us there? You can leave the paperwork in the car, and when we get ready to leave, I’ll ride with you back to your office. You know you want a massage. Relax those tired muscles. Pamper those aching feet. Smell that aromatherapy.”
“Okay, okay! You sure know how to sell a girl. Maybe you missed your calling. You seem more like a salesperson or advertiser to me.”
“A true lady is a jack of all trades and a master of a couple.”
“Amen to that, sister!” she said. “All right. Give me the address, and I will meet you all there,” she agreed, then I rattled it off to her.
* * *
Felicia and I were busy drinking our tea as we sat in the waiting area in our white robes, gabbing it up. This was the best decision. I was ready for my deep tissue massage, aromatherapy treatment, and herbal foot soak. All the toxins in my body were just screaming to get out. I needed to de-stress.
After I put the final touches in place, it would be time to break the news to Ryan. I was serving him with a divorce. Whether or not I ended up with Lincoln didn’t matter. I couldn’t stay married to him anymore. He’d had me under his thumb since high school, and it was time to spread my wings and fly solo. For once in my life, I could truly say I was not in love with Ryan Westmore anymore.
“How much longer is it going to be before your friend gets here?” Felicia asked, picking up a magazine. “I’m so ready to get this show on the road. I’m a month overdue for this.”
Before I could respond, I spotted Mona coming around the corner. “Here she comes now.” I waved at her as she approached us, already in her robe.
“Hello, ladies!”
“Hey, girl.” I stood up and hugged her. Then we turned to Felicia. “Felicia, this is my friend, Mona Sims. Mona, this is Felicia.”
Felicia shook her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She stood up and we walked toward the aromatherapy room. “Charice tells me you’re an attorney. What type of law do you practice?”
“Yes, I am. I’m a family court attorney.”
Felicia nodded. “Divorces, wills, settlements, child support, and alimony, right?”
Mona laughed. “I see you know my role very well.”
“Being married to an NFL player, you better.” Felicia laughed, as did we. Even though she had a sick sense of humor, she was mostly right.
“Oh, so you’re married to an athlete, too?” Mona asked.
“Yes, Don Peterson of the New York Giants. That’s how I know Charice.”
“What are you smiling for?” Mona asked, playfully pushing on me.
“It’s just that you referred to our husbands as athletes. Mostly everyone else says ball players. It’s just funny to me that you described them like that,” I said, thinking of Lincoln.
She laughed. “From what I know, some athletes get offended when you call them ball players, as if their career is a joke. I understand that. It is their profession, and they work just as hard at it as any other professional. Besides, the word athlete has a certain finesse to it. Just like I’d rather be referred to as an attorney than a lawyer. Finesse. It’s all about finesse.”
I laughed to myself. She sounded like Lincoln to the tee.
“Well, enough athlete-slash-ball-player and attorney-slash-lawyer talk. You say tomato. She says to-mah-toe. I say aromatherapy, ladies!” Felicia belted as we laughed and went into the room to start our treatments.
The next couple of hours were nothing but pure spa bliss. We talked about current events and of course, laughed about some of the other patrons. It was as if Felicia, Mona, and I were long lost sisters. We each had very different and distinct personalities, but we all meshed well together. Mona even decided to hang with us as we went to the nail salon. It was the most female bonding I’d had since I moved from Georgia and left my girls. I never knew how much I missed and needed this. I vowed that all three of us would have to do this again. Maybe just after my divorce.
“So, ladies, now that we are all dolled up, let’s get some shopping in,” Felicia said excitedly.
Mona declined. “Actually, I need to get back to work, so I won’t be able to join, but I promise I will next time.”
“Life for the working-class woman sucks,” Felicia said. “Well, I guess it’s just me and you.”
“Actually, I got a call from my dance studio. I need to go there. Mona, do you think you have time to drop me off there?”
“Sure, I can.”
I looked at Felicia and asked, “How about I meet back up with you in say, forty-five minutes?”
She shrugged. “Suit yourself. By then, I should be a couple grand or more into my next month’s Amex bill,” she joked. “Hit me up, and I will tell you where I’m at. You working-class women go and handle your business. You guys are my sheros.”
We said our goodbyes, and I followed Mona to her beamer. “Nice ride.”
“Thanks, honey. Before I forget, here is your paperwork. We can stop by my office and go over them, and then I can take you home so you can meet up with Felicia if you’d like.”
“I’d like that,” I agreed, holding the manila envelope in my hands. This made it official. Divorce.
Mona put her hand on top of mine. “It’s okay. You’ll be fine,” she encouraged, noticing the worried expression on my face.
“Thanks for the encouragement.” I breathed a sigh of relief.
She winked at me. “I’m not just your attorney. I’m your friend now.”
I settled back in her car, and a familiar scent hit my nose. I began to sniff.
“Are you catching a cold?” Mona asked.
“No. The fragrance. It just smells really familiar to me.”
She giggled. “My boyfriend and I went out last night. He smells so good that it lingers for a while.”
I looked at her as if she were crazy. “I thought you were gay.”
“I’m bisexual, actually. I was with a woman for many years, but after meeting my man, I must say that he brought the hetero back into my sexual.” She laughed.
“Dang, girl. He must be something else.”
“He is,” she said confidently.
“So, does he know you’re bi?”
She nodded. “Yes, he does. He wasn’t thrilled at first, but he was more elated that I was honest and forthcoming. I am not trying to share him or anything, but I swear I keep wanting to have a threesome with him and another woman. That’s every man’s fantasy. Shit, mine too.” Both of us laughed as she pulled up to her office building.
Shrugging my shoulders, I agreed. “Hey, if he accepts it and you’re willing, then I say go for it. Life is short. Make all your dreams come true. Real talk.”
Once inside her office, I settled into one of the chairs in front of her desk and went over the paperwork carefully. The only thing I needed to do was notate some changes, and then we left.
On the way to my house, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders as I tried to think of ways to break this to Ryan and ways to get Lincoln to talk to me.
“Are you all right?” Mona asked sincerely.
“Just a little bummed out.”
“Well, don’t you worry, okay? He’s the one missing out on a great woman. You’ll feel so much better when you’re out and on your own, doing your own thing,” she said as we approached my neighborhood. “In fact, once this is over and you’ve gotten some alone time and made peace with yourself, maybe you might decide to check out the other side of the fence. It’s not so bad on my side of the grass.” She winked at me.
I laughed aloud. “I know you’re not hitting on me.”
“Only if it’s working,” Mona said as she pulled into my driveway. She brushed her index finger along my chin, then she turned to face me and sighed. “Forgive my unprofessionalism, but I have to put on my friendship hat for a moment and get this off my chest. Men don’t fully know how to take care of us or pleasure us the way we can do it for ourselves. So, if you are ever interested, just know that I am hella interested. Real talk, you are hands down the finest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I’m ashamed to say, but it is the number one reason I accepted your case.”
Oh em to the fucking gee! I had just had my first lesbian experience, and at the hands of my attorney, no less! Where they do that at? As “flattering” as her offer was, I wasn’t gay, and I wasn’t going to start being gay or bisexual. I didn’t give a damn how many men broke my heart.
“Hmm. I don’t know what to say right now to that, Mona.”
She smiled at me. “Just say, ‘Mona, I’m straight, and this is uncomfortable.’ I’ll understand. I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll understand.”
She was right. It was better to nip it in the bud now, attorney or not. “Mona . . .” I paused because something caught my attention in her back seat. I reached back and grabbed it. A jersey. Lincoln’s jersey number. “Oh, you’re a fan of Lincoln Harper, huh?”
Looking confused, she stared down at the jersey in my hands, then a giddy smile spread across her face. “Yes, I am. My brother adores him, too. He always has. I guess that’s what kinda drew us to each other.”
My stomach plunged into my toes, and my hands got sweaty instantly. My mind began reeling, and the palpitations in my heart couldn’t be denied. I didn’t want to ask for fear of being on the cusp of a bombshell of news, but I had to know. I had to be sure.
“Drew you to each other?” I reiterated to get clarification. Something told me I wasn’t at all prepared for what I was about to hear.
She blushed and bit her lip. “We’re quiet about it because it’s new and fresh, so please keep it between you and me. Lincoln is my boyfriend. We met a little over a month ago at this club. I swear I was just asking for his autograph. Who knew it was going to turn into so much more?” She gushed.
Suddenly, my ears started ringing, and heat spread to my core. It was as if my breath was leaving my body, and it felt as though I was hovering over myself, a true out-of-body experience. It made so much sense now. Her comment about the athletes, the scent of the cologne—YSL, his favorite brand—the arrogant attitude he had, and the flagrant disregard for my feelings. He’d hooked up with this bisexual heifer, not knowing she was my fucking attorney!
I jumped out of the car, trying to catch my breath.
“Charice, honey, are you okay?” she asked, jumping out and running to my side. “Do I need to call a doctor?”
As much as I wanted to haul off and beat her like she stole something—because technically, she did—I held in the ATL hood chick side of myself. If not, I would’ve beaten her prissy Connecticut ass. I couldn’t believe this. All this effort, and he was out prowling around, scoping for a new woman. Attorney or friend, I had never told Mona I was dating Lincoln on the side. Just like I didn’t mention Lexi. She wasn’t a concern in this divorce, and neither was Lincoln. Nor was I damn foolish enough to mention it. Maybe I should’ve said something. No. Maybe he should’ve waited on me. Son of a bitch!
I shook my head. “It’s just an anxiety attack. I get those every now and then,” I lied. I fanned myself and stood up. “See. I’m better.”
Mona patted my back, and when she was satisfied that I was all right, she continued changing the subject back to business. “Well, at any rate, I’m going to have the changes drawn up, and I’ll call you tomorrow with the details. Then we’ll be ready to file this thing.”
The only thing on my mind was Lincoln’s deceit. I couldn’t care less about what she was saying. If Lincoln wanted to play that game, I was all for it. I was not going to be made a fool of. I’d make sure to have the last laugh on this shit.
I reached up and rubbed my finger across her cheek. “Thank you, Mona.” I winked at her. “For everything.”
She blushed. “Maybe I was wrong about my assumption in the car.”
A coy gaze crossed my face as I bit my bottom lip. “Maybe you were. Something about that threesome sounds very tempting. We’ll talk about it, though,” I teased.
Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Operation scrub down of my hands would be in effect as soon as she pulled off.
“That we will.” She winked at me. “Think about it, Charice,” she said and hopped into her car. “Real talk. I can make Lincoln and you very happy,” she said, looking at me seductively, and I swear it took everything in me not to vomit.
“Just so long as my divorce and this discussion stays strictly between you and me, I’ll think on it. With Lincoln being on the same team and all, I don’t want any mishaps with my case. You understand, don’t you?” I asked her to be sure she didn’t mention a word of this to Lincoln.
“You know I’m bound by strict legal confidentiality restraints. I’m not risking my reputation or license for anyone, including Lincoln,” she confirmed. Then she leaned her head out of the window toward me and said in a hushed voice, “Besides, I would never do anything to jeopardize any opportunity I could possibly have with you.”
