Thin, p.21
Thin, page 21
“Would you mind unzipping me?” A quick tug and she releases me from my fabric confines.
“Sorry I agreed to put you in such a bad dress.”
I really don’t want to get into friend politics with my back exposed.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, she’s sure,” Max interjects, stepping out of the den, ready to go whenever everyone else is. “Let her get changed before she freezes to death, otherwise we might have to bury her in it.”
I make my escape, heading to the bathroom, leaving the door a tad ajar so they can hear me yell, “Please bury me naked instead!”
“Why are we burying Naomi?” I can hear Teagan ask while I am doing my thing and getting changed.
“Probably died of embarrassment,” Hanna whispers, I still heard it, however.
“You looked fine in the dress. Very girly,” Elena says, trying to be supportive.
“That outfit takes commitment.” Hanna kills the sentiment.
“I promise I won’t make you compromise for my wedding,” is Max’s affirmation.
“You dress me up as a Disney princess, and you’re all going to mine in potato sacks!” A terrifying threat that might be realized because I am in a serious relationship. “Glittery potato sacks.”
“No Disney princesses. Got it. How do you feel about dwarfs?”
“Can I be Sleepy?” Teagan cracks.
“Gracie can be Grumpy.”
“Forget that. I’m obviously the smart one.” The smart one that Gracie does not know the name of.
“Doc.” Max knows all their names, something I doubt she’s proud of.
I’m losing track of who is saying what and my socks.
“Who’s the one with the big ears? That’s me!”
“Dopey.”
“How about Sneezy. Y’know allergies?”
“Hanna is more of a Bashful!”
“Aww. You’re Bashful too.”
“No I’m not. I’m Sleepy. Zzz! Zzz!”
We haven’t gotten drinks yet. I exit the bathroom to confront them.
“You’re all crazy. Crazy,” I point to Max. “Crazy,” I thrust my finger at Elena, “Crazy. Crazy. Crazy,” then point at myself, “Doc.”
“Goose!” squawks Teagan. That’s it, the stupidity has broken us.
We collapse upon each other, hooting and howling, torrents of tears everywhere. It takes the better part of a few minutes before we regain our composure.
“Let’s eat!”
* * * *
A few months ago I was doing the routine of going out, fabric shopping, sewing, believing that if I put in the effort to seem like I cared about my appearance that people would look past my thinness and see me for who I am instead. The irony is that if I had never been born this way, I never would have gone the path I had in life. Life would have handed me what I yearned for, and I would never had earned it. I would have ended up in a different place as an entirely different person. Being thin makes things difficult, and unfairly disadvantaged, but I am proud of what I made of myself. I am not some ugly skinny person, I am a strong and capable individual who championed against adversity. I cannot take all the credit. I have loving parents, a sympathetic sister, a supportive and industrious grandmother. I have friends who are good to me, except when they’re getting married then they turn into gigantic bitchy lizard people, otherwise good. Even people who had antagonized me, like Cecilia with her narcissistic obliviousness and Ami who I adore but who also terrifies me, build me up in a way, became valuable resources who I can appreciate for helping define me.
I did not think being my size and with a capacity to sew could get me promoted into a job where I get to tell people that what I have done to fit in shouldn’t be the last resort for those less size privileged. I didn’t think being small and adaptive could generate a following of girls and boys like me who didn’t know there were other options out there for them, who shouldn’t be content with staying quiet and oppressed. I believed for the longest time that being thin meant subsisting on the scraps in all walks of life, including in love, and that trying so hard to look normal gained me an admirer who maybe someday I get to call Mrs. Duant-Dieme. Mrs. Dieme-Daunt? Dient? Duam? It’s a work in progress. Where would I have been if I had been handed the same card everyone else had? Somewhere else with no guarantees.
Being thin has given me such treasures. Took a lot of digging to get there, but the effort was worthwhile.
I’m happy to be my size.
I love being who I am.
I like being thin.
THE END
ABOUT VANESSA KRAUSS
Vanessa Krauss is a resident of Vancouver, Canada, as geeky, gamer, and strange-fiction loving as the locale implies. She is a professional destroyer of software and balances her acts of entropy through writing and illustrations. She has novels published with Dream’s Edge Publishing and JMS Books, as well as short stories published with Poe Boy Publishing and Aberrant Literature, with more to come in the future.
Vanessa loves creating characters and worlds, both through art and through literature, that carry the elements of the fantastical and the strange.
For more information, visit vlk249.com.
ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC
JMS Books LLC is a small queer press with competitive royalty rates publishing LGBT romance, erotic romance, and young adult fiction. Visit jms-books.com for our latest releases and submission guidelines!
Vanessa Krauss, Thin
