Burning little secrets, p.1
Burning Little Secrets, page 1
CONTENTS
Chapter 1
Julia
Chapter 2
Julia
Chapter 3
Julia
Chapter 4
Julia
Chapter 5
Nathan
Chapter 6
Julia
Chapter 7
Julia
Chapter 8
Julia
Chapter 9
Nathan
Chapter 10
Julia
Chapter 11
Nathan
Chapter 12
Julia
Chapter 13
Nathan
Chapter 14
Julia
Chapter 15
Nathan
Chapter 16
Julia
Chapter 17
Julia
Chapter 18
Julia
Chapter 19
Nathan
Chapter 20
Julia
Chapter 21
Nathan
Chapter 22
Nathan
Chapter 23
Julia
Chapter 24
Nathan
Epilogue
Also by Vivian Mae
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright © 2021 by Vivian Mae; Midtown Publishing LLC
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This novel is in its entirety a work of fiction, which means all names, characters, organizations, businesses, etc… are either work of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. If there is any resemblance to a person, living or dead, it is coincidental.
For more information, contact:
vivianmaewrites@gmail.com
Editor: The Romantic Editorial Services
Cover Design: Outlined with Love Designs
Image @ Deposit Photos
First Edition: April 2021
DISCLAIMER
This book contains mentions of emotional, physical, and mental abuse; infidelity, and mature explicit sexual content which is recommended for readers 18+.
DEDICATION
This debut goes out to my beloved husband, whom has stood by me throughout this entire process, held me while I cried, and overall is the hero I’ve always dreamed of having.
* * *
Thank you for loving me fiercely, day in and day out.
1
JULIA
There was always a damn issue with Robbie. He had a way of spinning my mistakes into psychological code, as if forgetting to water the plants was actually a red flag, signaling a lack of relational attention. It was so exhausting; so crazy.
As a journalist living in New York City, my work demanded late hours, working the occasional all-nighter for a nail-biting deadline. There was a promotion available, and I had been busting my ass off to earn this. The type of promotion I dreamed of, to be taken as a serious writer. I’d already come so far, living with Robbie and his skyline view, versus my old apartment, which faced the neighbors who fucked at their window. I’m sure they enjoyed the audience, me watching, crunching on a bag of Lays. How fitting.
When I moved to the city for school, I’d always dreamt of independently paving my way to success. Never had I thought I’d earn a shortcut to life when I met Robbie. His wealthy parents paid for his schooling, and he lived in a beautiful penthouse, gifted to him after his graduation of course. I know, right? My dad got me a stuffed graduation bear, which I now squeezed to death during stressful days at the office.
When Robbie romantically swept me off my feet and invited me to live with him after grad school, you could imagine my feeling, realizing my shortcut to success stemmed from the man of my dreams and all his familial connections; or, so I thought.
Now? I had found myself overly dedicated to my job. Oftentimes, I forced my body to survive off hot coffee, cold bagels, and noodle cups—which may or may not have peas in them; at least that’s what I told myself whenever I encountered the squishy green balls.
I loved work more than anything, and being in the city was alone what allowed me to thrive. The hustle and bustle lifestyle, the one where you secretly grew ten new gray hairs overnight, only to paint them in before work the next morning — that was part of the exhilarating charm of it all. Overworked, stressed, yet successful.
The agency I worked for was small, maybe even microscopic. We were always in search of the next big story, the scandal that would tip us over the edge, or so my boss, Mitchell, always said.
“It only takes one story, Julia. Then we’ll be the next media sensation for the news. Twitter-famous kids will retweet our every dramatic article into stardom.” His eyes gleamed with proverbial dollar signs. He would write a segment about his mother’s sex life if he knew it would help the company. I get it. We all have dreams, but those were always his sharp reminders at every morning huddle. The script had been practically engraved in our minds.
But my soon to be husband — Robbie? He didn’t understand my job, the insanity of it all, and he faulted me. You’d think as a stockbroker he’d be the first to understand. But lately, his once accepting approval of my work seemed displaced. He used to be so kind, patient, and supportive. Now that man was replaced by a looming psycho. He was a complete stranger, always on edge.
I didn’t know what happened between his proposal last year to being a week away from walking down the aisle. It was as if he regretted asking me, or as if he wasn’t ready for the commitment — you know, for better or worse. I would even imagine us in our old age, sitting in the countryside, retired, complete with rocking chairs and a large porch. Now? I don’t even think we can make it through dinner.
Cold feet?
Maybe? Maybe not?
“Where you going?” Robbie barked at me when I placed my hand on the door looking for a quick escape. The annoyance in his eyes was evident. They narrowed, like a suspicious metronome, ticking back and forth between me and the door.
“I’m going downstairs to grab a coffee.” I half-smiled and nodded politely; my eyebrows cowered a bit, and I quickly glanced down to avoid his stare. “Need anything from there?” I asked innocently, shifting my feet in place, attempting to hide the real truth for my trip away from him.
“It’s late, don’t you think?” He snipped at me, shaking his head.
“Not really, I mean… it’s barely past seven.” I opened the door to leave, but Robbie slammed his body against it. “Robbie,” I closed my eyes and inhaled my frustration. “I mean it, I’m going downstairs.” My voice quivered, which only made him louder in response.
“No, you’re not. I know what you’re doing behind my back, you whore.” His face leaned so close to mine. He spoke in a breathy whisper, and it felt hot against my face.
Knitting both my brows, I straightened myself up and gave him a hard stare — one long enough to make him back off. My daring eyes spoke what my lips could not. I would stare all night if I had to, just determined to see his next move, to call his bluff. He slowly eased off the door, and I stepped right out, flipping my hair over my shoulders. Gotcha.
The soft breeze of passing people sat in contrast to the stuffy room I emerged from. I needed this time, this moment away, savoring each step as I made my way to the coffee shop below Robbie’s home.
At this rate I needed at least three shots of espresso after being inside that tension-filled house. The one I felt too uncomfortable to call home.
Only Robbie could drain my energy every damn moment. I wished it was different, like how it was before when we first met and fell in love. Maybe fireworks hadn’t exploded behind us as we shared our first kiss, but his sweet and secure nature for our future hooked me.
For now, I had to get away from the madness for a minute — just one.
The aroma of strong espresso beans and the season’s latest pumpkin spice filled the welcoming shop. I didn’t order right away, I spent time observing the dimly lit loyalty mugs on display. The same soft music seemed to play every time I entered. I loved how their obscure jazz laid hushed against the muted traffic outside. It felt like a fuzzy dream. Regardless, the patrons were a bit pretentious, but I couldn’t resist their banana nut muffins. So worth the unprovoked scowls.
“Large pumpkin spice with three espresso shots.” I paused as the barista took my order. “Shit,” I shook my head, “make it four shots instead.” I rummaged through my large laptop bag. The handsome young barista blew through his messy golden hair which covered his eyes. He arched an eyebrow and looked at me as if I grew an extra head.
“Wanna make it five?” His flirty grin was a warm surprise that I needed. I smiled and shook my head, then placed a couple bucks in the tip jar. “Thanks,” he nodded excitedly as if he was rocking out to the elevator music playing, “I’ll throw an extra shot in there for you. Looks like you could use it.”
Fuck, did my forehead display the entire list of my problems? Maybe it was the dark circles under my eyes. Maybe he’s psychic. Oh god. In my frantic state of transparency, my thoughts turned into a puddled mess. I glanced at his big, dark brown eyes as he pulled his hair back into a bun. He was way too cool for me. I’d be a neurotic mess around him.
“Yeah… thanks, I guess.”
His pale face
“Thanks,” I said. I waved and smiled like a damn idiot and moved myself to the other side of the counter where drinks were being slid to their owners.
Shortly after I placed my order, my cell rang, blaring Christina Aguilera’s “Come on Over Baby.” My cheeks warmed up instantly as she belted that tune inside the painfully quiet corner where I stood. It was enough to make me move elsewhere from embarrassment.
“Sorry,” I mouthed to those nearby, attempting to avoid the evil eyes dotting at me from all sections of the shop.
“Julia!” My best friend, Eve, shouted through my phone. Almost as loud as Ms. Aguilera herself.
Damn it.
Luckily, my order was immediately placed onto the counter, almost as if the cute barista was shoving me out the door, but politely. Embarrassed, I swiftly waved my hand as I yanked my coffee and muffin off the counter, while clutching my singing phone against my chest.
Temporarily muting Eve, I turned the volume from a ten down to a one but could still hear her yelling at me for placing her on mute. She knew me too well.
“Julia, I’m not kidding. Unmute me!” She cried out.
I pushed past the wooden door, bringing my phone up to my mouth, “Ok, ok, I’m here Eve!” I exhaled out loud hoping to find peace on this journey. “What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be at work right now?” I found a nearby bench and sat down to enjoy my coffee and warm muffin. It was complete bliss.
“You’re never going to believe this, but… I bought you a ticket to come see me! Well, me and your dad. You leave tomorrow morning.” She chirped excitedly in a proud tone.
“Eve! What? I thought nurses didn’t take time off work? Or is this one of those trips where you’ll be working the whole time and I’m just alone with my laptop?” Actually, that didn’t sound like a bad option.
“Well, this bitch has saved enough lives this year to earn herself a couple weeks off. Besides, I desperately need my best friend; it's been too long. Please.” I could feel her puppy dog eyes on the other side of the phone. Funny, how you can know someone for so long, that you can feel their expressions radiate without seeing them.
I sighed because Robbie would frown upon it. Especially it being last minute. He was a complete control freak, and I dreaded imagining what our conversation would entail.
Besides if he didn’t trust me enough to go get coffee, why would he agree to this? I must have been silent for too long, or Eve could read my mind; one of the two.
“Anyway, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s non-refundable, tell Robbie. Besides. I need to see you before you decide to walk down the aisle. Fuck him.” I bit the inside of my cheek in thought.
Decide. Interesting word choice. However, with how I’d been feeling lately—like a trapped prisoner inside this relationship—I deserved to go home and visit. Alone.
“Fuck him! You’re right. I need to see everyone.” Being in the city had been a nice change, but I hadn’t felt so far away from home until these last few months.
My little family of two, I missed them more than I could stand, and I needed my dad’s famous bear hugs right about now.
“Pack up and come back to sweet home North Carolina!” Eve shrieked and clicked off. She loved being dramatic.
North Carolina.
It felt like a universe that was far away. I left North Carolina because I was never fond of small-town living. Part of me didn’t want to go back to see the sad life I once fled. Even my accent flew out the moment I began my life as a city girl. Not sure I wanted my southern twang to come back with vengeance. I did love Dad and Eve, but their love wasn’t enough to keep me trapped there. New York on the other hand — I’ll do anything to keep my life in one piece, even if it may be complicated. Complicated was normal, right? It seemed that way in the city at least; chaos was its middle name after all.
Suddenly, my heart sank into my stomach knowing that the conversation I would have with Robbie wouldn’t be great. I chugged my drink back, threw my trash away, and headed back upstairs.
One of the great things about New York was how you could step out and you were seconds away from a cup of coffee, cream cheese filled bagels, or cheap slices of Joe’s pizza. The phrase ‘the city that never sleeps’ couldn’t be any truer. People drank until four in the morning, or until they passed out before closing time.
I turned the corner of my apartment hallway, and Robbie was waiting at our doorway like a scolding father. His brow furrowed as he watched each step I took, judging me up and down, until I passed him.
“Hey… Robbie.” I softened my voice a bit. I lunged at him, attacking him with a big hug. “Guess what! I’m going back home for a week.” I squeaked out, and his eyes narrowed in on mine. “Eve got me a ticket to go see her, and I’ll be able to see my family as well right before the wedding. It’s been a while, and I need this.” I paused. My index finger circled around the exposed part of his chest. I exhaled loudly, almost out of breath at my fast speech. “I leave tomorrow morning.”
A few silent moments lingered in the cold air between us. Not knowing which way he would go as his angry furrowed brows relaxed into a sad glance.
“Ok,” Robbie softly replied, almost defeated. His eyes sunk low, viewing the floor beneath us. Did he really just agree without a fight? Although we have had more great moments than not, my old Robbie was shining through in his own way again.
“Ok?” My voice pitched at the end of my sentence, in surprise of his response. What gives? Oh fuck, why did I care? I’m going home.
2
JULIA
The rumble of subtle turbulence on a rather quiet flight startled me awake. Sitting window side, I glanced toward my left, feeling my cheek wet with spit. Thankfully my neighbors were dead asleep, and the drool below my chin went unnoticed. I had the worst habit of falling asleep on an airplane the minute it hummed during takeoff — and of course my gaping mouth was another attractive quality. Lovely.
Ten minutes away from landing, my eagerness grew exponentially — to see Eve would be just what I needed to push me back into normalcy.
Come to think of it, between last night to this morning, I spaced on telling Dad. I shrugged to myself, oh well.
My boss, Mitchell, told me to enjoy my trip though the tone in his voice is that of an unsure parent. Do you really want to eat candy for breakfast? I could hear it, as if my teetering promotion was dependent on my swift return. I couldn’t stay as an intern any longer, I needed to be on the staff, picture on the wall and all.
Lately, I wondered what it would be like to live alone in the city, which had been my primary goal. Could it be possible to live happily without Robbie and his meddling ways? I’d have a shit apartment again, and sure, maybe it wouldn’t be as luxurious as Robbie’s luscious penthouse on Hanover Square, but a decent life in the city was still something I would choose over my previous rural life near the creepy forest.
The anticipation of seeing Eve at the end of the airport terminal hallway rattled my chest with a vibrant buzz, and the persistent nerves amplified their presence as I saw her standing past security in the skimpiest yellow two-piece outfit. Even security couldn’t keep their eyes off her. As long as her ass was around, this airport and its passengers would be doomed.
Eve was always the striking one and was the most pursued between us two ever since she earned her boobs first. All of the boys would check out every part of her, which was why she craved every bit of attention from the male variety. I had to say, it was quite impressive seeing all those high school boys believe they had her under their control, when truly she had them under her undying spell. If her ass moved left, so did they. Morons. They followed her around like lost dogs, desperate to claim her as their own. Bromances were lost amongst her sneaky ways, but she wouldn’t even bat an eye at the damage she could cause with those hips. She was infectious to be around, her aura magnetic, and if you were lucky enough to be liked, you were in her good graces. I was just lucky enough we grew into our friendship, almost as if we had no choice, but each day we chose one another no matter what drama transpired.
