Mobius blvd, p.7
Mobius Blvd, page 7
RULE OF FIVE
Amy Kitryn
It’s been five years. I’ve spent the last few months thinking about how I’m closer to having Adelaide out of my life for about as long as she was in it. It’s a scary thing, you know? The way time progresses so fast that you never have time to process it. And before long, all that’s left of them are memories and things that will remind you of them. Like a song, a smell, a scene. Whenever I thought about it, I didn’t think to realize the mistakes we made towards Adelaide. We all were. She didn’t deserve the fate she ended up having.
Things weren’t always like this. We were super close at one point. But in the blink of an eye, all that can change. One wrong move, and like a house of cards, it all goes down. Just. Like. That.
When I first met Adelaide, we were both freshmen in High School. She was the typical pretty girl that would have cast herself as the main character in the copy-and-paste coming-of-age movie once we hit Senior Year. While we would talk about the little things like her favorite color or favorite actor, we never talked about much else. We never talked about where she came from, nor did it seem like she wanted to. Even with those little things, I could sense a reluctance.
For someone who was still of an age to live with her parents or a legal guardian, she acted...ahead of her time. There would always be a mature aura around her. And whenever she talked, it felt like she was bearing no emotion; she was so well-put together.
Her life was always so strange to me because I lived on the outside of her life, and she was on the inside of mine. She didn’t seem to let anyone in. If I recall, she never had a potential partner or two. Whenever teachers assigned group projects in class, she never invited me to her house. She’d also always decline if I brought up the offer. Our choices were always my house or the library. My house was fine, but with my younger siblings constantly roaming around the house, it would get too loud to get any sort of studying in. And as for the library, the time would always come when it closed, and we both had to leave.
Come to think about it, Adelaide always felt different. Something that would only come to a person through hindsight. I never saw her family either. She always left our time together alone, even in the middle of the night. Whenever my parents offered to drive her, she would say, “No, thanks. I’ll walk.” She’d still decline, even if they insisted.
At our graduation, I never saw her family with her. My family came to congratulate her, our friends congratulated her, but we didn’t see anyone else doing the same. In fact, she left the arena the same way she always left. Walking. In the pouring rain. The distance to her place had to be just as long, if not longer to her place as mine. I should have offered to drive her back, even if she declined.
I hadn’t seen her much since graduation. Our communication became rare, along with the other friends we had made in high school. But when our former classmates would return on breaks or visits, she would never appear. She either never left or never returned. I kept thinking I saw her sometimes, but my gut told me not to say anything. In hindsight, I never saw her and my vision was only projecting a small hope that we would see each other again.
I remembered asking her at one point, when we were Juniors at different colleges, when she was going to come home. My intention was to plan a graduation party for us and our friends. And then, once that was done, I was thinking we would do a road trip before we all had to go into the real world.
Every conversation seemed to play out the same way. I would always begin by asking, “When are you coming back?”
Not long after, I would get a text bubble with a brief message implying she was in a hurry when she typed the response. Most often, it would translate to, “I don’t know. Why?”
“Just to see if we could hang out. Like old times?”
“I’ll let you know.”
Even in scenarios where we would talk about other things in my life (again, never her life), she would never tell me when she was going to be back in our hometown. I’d always try to ask her about what was going on in her life, but every time I did, the conversation would circle back to her, a reminder that she would let me know when she returned. She never knew when and never gave a reason. I would always make sure she promised to let me know when she would come around for the friend group to reunite.
The friend group was of five girls. Me, Adelaide, Irina, Taylor, and Katelyn. People would think we were inseparable at one point. Four of us would circle around hosting events for the rest of the group to show up to. Adelaide would always be the last of the group to show up, and the first one to leave, always claiming that she had stuff to do. For a high schooler, she sure had a lot of work to do. And I couldn’t blame honors classes because we always had the same classes together. And I was far from your token honors student.
After graduation, the five of us finally separated, having gone to different colleges strewn about the country. The one thing we promised each other was that we would keep in touch; something Adelaide even agreed with. And as my life branched out into its own form, much like the other girls, we all still remembered our roots and stuck together. I could recall so many nights where the four of us would talk about studies, parties, and boyfriends and girlfriends. Most of the time, Adelaide didn’t show up.
The winter break of my Junior year, however, everything turned around against everything I had ever known.
I had always looked forward to coming home from college for my breaks. It became a getaway from the workload, and a chance to see the friend group in person to catch up. The bonus of winter break was that when going to school in Florida, one misses the cold, windy nights, and impending snowstorm threats.
While waiting for my flight back to the crisping New Hampshire winter that awaited me, my group chat was already hyperactive with plans for what we were all doing. We spouted dates back and forth as we all tried to coordinate who was returning when. Between the holidays and the one-month time window, we didn’t have many options for when we were going to meet up. The conversation likely continued while I was on the plane, as by the time I was back in the New England winter, the official decision was December 29...pending my vote. Adelaide had responded with, “Maybe.”
My thoughts snapped back to reality when I heard my brother Tyler, who had returned from his freshman year of college in Boston a week before, call me from his car. I typed in my vote as I joined him in the car and let him take me back into the city I grew up in.
Even though I couldn’t see the look on my friends’ faces, I could imagine the smiles radiating on all of them. We were all finally going to be back together again, like old times.
The first place I went to was my childhood home. My parents still lived there, along with my younger siblings. The oldest of the two, Marion, was turning eighteen well after I returned to Florida. The younger one, Paige, was in middle school. In those moments, seeing them for the first time in a couple of months (after opting to spend Thanksgiving with my boyfriend’s family this year and saving money for the holidays).
Everyone welcomed me with hugs from both parents, eventually letting the siblings come together with me. My parents made an exclamation about how the family was together again, if only for a fleeting moment. They also declared that we were going to go out for dinner as a family to celebrate.
As Tyler and I brought my luggage into the house, he said to me, “Do you remember your friend Adelaide?”
I don’t know if he could catch onto my eyes lighting up as I replied, “Of course I do! Is she doing alright? Out of everyone, she’s the one I’ve heard the least from.”
“Relax, Sydney. I was only going to say that I saw her on my drive back here.” A small chuckle left his mouth. He knew firsthand that while I was close to the other girls, a group of two were closer than the rest. That was Adelaide and me. People at school would call us Australia because people always saw us together, and both our names were cities in that country.
“You saw her? So she’s home?”
“I don’t know. I saw her coming out of a house by Dublin. Looks the same as when I last saw her.”
“Graduation?”
“Yeah.” We had moved my stuff into the guest room, which had once been my bedroom.
Things of mine were still on the wall and in drawers, but my parents had used it for long-distance relatives when they came to visit; with my permission, of course. Eventually, I would have to tell them about how some of my friends and I were contemplating getting an apartment together in Florida, permitting them to turn my childhood into a room they could rent out. They could always use the money.
Tyler had turned around, empty-handed, to leave my room and give me the space to unpack. Before leaving, he asked, “Do you know anything about Adelaide’s life after she graduated?” A twinge of concern in his voice.
“No. I don’t even know if she’s going to the get-together my friends and I are planning.”
“Maybe, again?”
“Yep. Now get out. I would like to unpack and rest a bit before dinner.”
“Want me to get you ten minutes before?”
“Tyler...” He put his hands up in surrender and left the hallway, the door staying open. I heaved a sigh while rolling my eyes as I went over to close it. A smile on my face.
The family had settled at a nearby Airport Diner for our dinner. A tradition that they had started since I first left for college, and that they would continue until Paige moved out. And even then, it would be possible that if all four of us returned home, this would be how we would celebrate the lucky coincidence.
I had almost forgotten how it felt to have my family close by again. If I was going to tell them about the apartment situation in Florida, I couldn’t do it now and break their already full hearts. Having two children in college finally became routine to my parents. But with the distance, it would be expensive to have my parents and siblings come to visit. So we’ve resorted to video calls and voice memos if we missed each other.
During the dinner, I got up to use the bathroom, excusing myself from the conversation, which had turned to Tyler recapping the events of his first semester. That would be a rerun of events that he had already told me while driving back home.
I had stepped out of the stall and went over to the sink to wash my hands when I heard a familiar voice ask for my name.
I turned around to see Adelaide in front of me. She tied her dark blonde hair into a low ponytail, something I knew she used to do when we were younger. Her green eyes had a natural gloss over them, almost like she was otherworldly.
“Adelaide! I heard from Tyler that you were home!”
Her brow raised. She hesitated before replying, “Home. Right. What brings you back around here?”
“It’s December. I come back from school every year for the holidays. You’ve known that since I left.”
“Right. Sorry. I forget that sometimes. Time hasn’t been one of my things.” Funny, I thought to myself as she said the last sentence, You always appeared right on time and left just as things got interesting. And yet here you are in an Airport Diner bathroom when I am also here.
“So, what brings you here? To Airport?” I asked, hoping to get some information about her life. Maybe she got a job and is on a shift right now. I added, “My family’s here for dinner since I got back from Florida if you want to say hi. I’m sure mom will be happy to see you.”
She didn’t look like she was pondering the offer. She held a look of fear in her eyes. Fear that never happened before. Did something happen to her while I was gone?
I sprinted to another thing that she should be looking forward to. “Are you going to the get-together on the 29th? I’m sure the girls will be happy to see you. I know you kept in touch with the group.”
“I’ll see how things go. It’s difficult for me to say this, but things have...”
“How things go? What things? Because if you heard from any of them, which I know you did, you’d know that this was important. We’ve been wanting to see you for years.”
“Things have been hectic. I have things to do here that need to be finished rather quickly.”
We went silent for a moment. I had finished washing my hands towards the beginning of the conversation and noticed that they were still dripping. I grabbed a paper towel and dried my hands before wrapping up the conversation by saying, “I should get back. My family’s waiting. But talk to me if you need anything, okay?”
All I saw was a silent nod as I left the restroom and went back to my family. When I got back, I would talk about my semester. All I could think about was how different Adelaide was.
I went to sleep that night thinking about that interaction despite it happening hours earlier. While I knew where Taylor, Katelyn, and Irina went to college, Adelaide kept her plans a secret. And I couldn’t ask her family about it. I didn’t even know what they looked like or even if they existed. She could have been living all alone for...no. She couldn’t have. Not if we met Freshman Year, when all of this started happening.
At around midnight, I decided that sleeping wouldn’t come until I at least tried to figure out what happened. While Adelaide never told me what was going on in her life, maybe she told one of the other girls.
While I could have gone in and texted the girls in the group chat, I didn’t want to pressure Adelaide into saying something she didn’t want to. I already felt like I was violating her privacy enough by asking everyone else about her. But if she won’t tell me, and she looked terrified while I was talking, someone may know what is up. If something happened to her. I aspired to protect her.
I tried to think of what to say that wouldn’t be invasive. I didn’t care if any of them wouldn’t see what I asked until they woke up, if they were asleep. My mind just wanted me to ask in a way that wouldn’t make it look like I’m prying at them for answers I should have had ages ago. Finally, I got what I wanted to say in the text line waiting to be sent.
“Have you guys heard from Adelaide lately? It’s fine if you don’t.”
As my thumb pressed the button that would send the text, I finally felt sleep wanting to take over my eyes. People were right when they said you never knew you fell asleep until you woke up.
The following morning, I had forgotten what had kept me up. Like the events from the night before had all been a dream. Maybe part of me wanted that to be the case. Then I would wake up in my dorm room and get ready for classes again.
My vision came into focus as I realized I was not in my college dorm room. A corkboard that I had put up years ago to hang pictures of me and my friends was one of the first things I saw. That corkboard was something that stayed home. And despite these pictures being events I knew Adelaide was there for, I don’t think I had a single picture of her on that board.
I stared at the ceiling, wondering what I was going to do with the spare time I had. Tyler was likely sleeping in, both Marion and Paige had school, so I was on my own to decide what I was going to do.
My phone was on the bedside table that was always to my right whenever I was home. I was lucky to have that consistency in college. Maybe I can reach out and see if anyone wants to meet up with me today while I’m here. I didn’t have a slated family holiday party until the weekend, and then the actual holiday, and then a few days’ wait until I get together with the girls. If they hadn’t returned yet, I didn’t know. I reached over and grabbed my phone to ask around. Maybe other classmates wanted to see me.
When the screen turned on, it reminded me of why I had trouble going to sleep. Text messages from the friends I had texted asking about Adelaide filled my screen. And all of them bore a similar response: no.
They had their own embellishment to it that felt personalized to them. But that didn’t matter when they answered the question. I didn’t like the answer. Irina had the thought in her response to ask if I knew anything, likely to figure out why I would ask that. I could only tell the truth. I saw her, and she looked a mysterious haze of different from what she looked like when we saw her last. Forgive time, but the way she changed was too much that years of change could do. If only I could pinpoint it. Once I sent Irina the response, that was the end of that interaction.
I went downstairs to see what my parents had to get some semblance of breakfast. Typically, I wouldn’t eat in the dorms, but when I’m not rushing from class to class, I should make it a regular thing.
After that, I’ll figure out what to do next. I’ll help Adelaide, even if I never know what happened to her.
The days dragged as I looked around the town to figure out what I could do with myself. I hadn’t seen Adelaide at all since, but I figured if she was going to the get-together, then we should be fine. Maybe then she would finally crack the mystery that was her life.
While the girls and I promised to text each other to stay in contact, we had the implication of social media also being part of the package. Adelaide never got an account for anything. At least if she did, she would have told us. We all respected each other’s privacy enough not to pry, but there should be some place where we could contact each other if we ended up going to another country.
The clock moved slower and slower because of the anticipation. Every holiday was like this. The lights go up and time takes a break from rushing everything. Even more so with the anticipation of seeing my friends again.
