Under the grave, p.6
Under the Grave, page 6
part #4 of Gravedigger Series Series
“But can my friends come here? Just for a visit?”
They looked at each other, and seemed to speak without using words or moving their lips. “Yes, I think it would be OK for them to visit, but you would have to meet them at the bridge or the guardian would never let them cross,” said Uld.
I nodded, and looked back at the squirrel. “I need you to please tell Soren to bring everyone, Ray, Grace, Boude, Andreas, Billy, whoever they want to bring—bring them here to visit, and I’ll meet them at the bridge.”
Ratatoskr looked at the Norns and then back at me, then back at them.
“Why isn’t he leaving?” I asked.
The fuzzy little messenger started making a strange chirping sound that was unquestionably angry.
“Very well!” sighed Skuld. “He says it will take much too long for them to make the traditional journey. He says he’ll deliver the message, but in order to keep our agreement to you, we need to meet your guests and bring them through the shortcut,” she said, as she rolled her eyes.
The squirrel calmed down.
I winked at him and said, “Thank you for looking out for me.” And I swear I think he winked back.
Because the Norns had tried to trick me, I wasn’t sure how I felt about asking them anything else. I still needed to know what to do with the souls of the children that needed a different place to move on to. I wondered who I could ask. Now that I had Ratatoskr to send messages to my friends, my circle wasn’t as narrow. When he returned from this task, I could send him to ask Persephone; she would know what to do.
The Norns had promised to bring my friends to visit me, and I anxiously awaited their arrival. In the meantime, I could see how everything was running back in my world.
I was happy to see that things were running pretty smoothly. The assignment system I put in place was efficient. As I walked around, I saw people tending to the garden, building their homes, and engaging in imaginary battles with dull swords they had fashioned.
The men and women saw me watching, and were suddenly nervous. One of the women approached me.
“My Queen, is it alright that we are still practicing for battle? We mean no harm, it’s just what we do,” asked the strawberry blonde. She was covered in dirt and out of breath, but she was smiling.
“Of course!” I told her. “Is there anything else you need that might make your battles, or your time here, better?”
“If we could have stables with horses!” Her eyes lit up as she made her suggestion.
“I’m not sure about creating animals, but I’ll see what I can do,” I told her.
“Oh, thank you!” she exclaimed, and rejoined her friends to share the news.
This was good. I was making a difference. This feeling was better than the terror I was fighting back waiting to see if the squirrel could find my friends. I couldn’t help my mind from rushing back to that moment—“years”, she had said.
What if Soren is gone, or thinks that I have forgotten him? What if Grace or the other vampires are dead or don’t want to see me? I wished that someone had told me about the dangers of creating time.
I went towards the hall, and the two guards I had assigned opened the large doors for me. The wooden doors creaked on their large metal hinges, and I recalled the sound of the old gate in my cemetery. Even when life changes, little things remain the same.
Laughter and voices boomed inside the hall. Men, some with long beards cackled like little children, throwing their heads back and wiping amused tears from their eyes. Women stood in corners, whispering and discreetly pointing. Little children ran around the room chasing one another in games of tag and such. As afraid as I was for my life (or whatever this was) to be completely different once again, I knew that it wouldn’t be all bad.
Upon realizing just how well I was dealing with this pain and uncertainty, I had to wonder if I was growing too cold, too used to awfulness and heartache. But my heart didn’t feel totally broken this time—at least not yet.
I picked up a metal cup from one of the long tables and sipped the liquid inside. It was delicious red wine, only the metal of the cup had mingled with the flavor. No one had complained yet, but I couldn’t imagine too many people would enjoy the aftertaste. To me, it tasted like blood, and took me back to my days of being a vampire. I smiled, recalling my hunting trips with my friends. Hmm, I wonder if I could make my own version of vampires, I considered.
I went into the back of the hall where the living areas were, and one of the women who was staying ijn the hall sighed and came towards me carrying a much larger puppy than the one I had left.
“You have to take him with you next time you leave the hall,” she said sounding quite exasperated. “He’s done nothing but whine at your door and growl at everyone who has walked by.”
I laughed and took the dog in my arms, handing the woman my cup of wine. “My goodness. You are getting so big, so fast,” I told the now happy pup, and kissed him on the head.
The woman laughed. “Hellhounds do that,” she said, and walked off before I could ask her name again. I was trying to learn names, but there were just so many people.
“Are you a hellhound?” I asked Garmr, with a bit of surprise in my voice. I knew that’s what Cerberus was, and it made sense; but still, that was not a breed of dog you ever plan to own.
I put him down on the floor and clicked my tongue for him to follow me. We walked the halls for a while, just checking things out, and wandered towards the back of the long building.
I stepped into the area with the large pool, and the warmth and blue waters called to me. “Want to go for a swim?” I asked the dog.
Garmr backed away from the pool and appeared to almost shake his head. “I guess hellhounds don’t like to swim,” I said, and then looked around the room to be certain no one else was in there.
Bathing suits weren’t a thing I had given much thought, but I was alone and didn’t care right now. I just wanted to feel the water on my skin, and to swim. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been swimming. It had been sometime before I had died; I hoped it was like riding a bike.
I took off my clothes and made sure my hair was up out of my face, and then I slowly walked into the pool, shallow end first. Yes, I could have just jumped, but I wanted it to be a slow, easy transition.
The water was as warm as bathwater, and it felt amazing as I descended into it, feeling it rise around my body. I floated for a while, staring up at the tall ceilings and intricate beamwork. Then I swam a few laps, and realized it was still possible to be dead, and a goddess, and feel out of shape. So I floated some more.
I was luxuriating, totally relaxed, letting the water hold my body so gently and delicately. Floating requires surrender, and control at the same time. I had always enjoyed floating when I was alive, but could never maintain it for long without moving a little too much and falling beneath the surface. Now, I could do it forever.
It was while I was calm, and peacefully lying in (or maybe on) the water, that a gentle wave lapped around me. The water should have been still with just me in it. I opened my eyes to see a man standing over me. In total shock, I went under the water, gasping as I did so. Big mistake.
Sharp pain filled my nose and throat; it stung and burned to inhale water into all of those delicate places that water isn’t supposed to go.
I thrashed and tried to gain my footing, but I was in the deep end. I knew that I needed to swim, but couldn’t get past all of the water wanting to pour down my throat and into my lungs, while the water I had already imbibed was trying to come back out.
Two large hands grabbed hold of me and lifted my head and chest up out of the water. The man’s grip was tight, and I was disoriented, drifting in and out of consciousness.
I felt pressure on my abdomen, and lips against mine, just before a rush of hot water poured out of my mouth as I coughed.
So naturally, the first thing I said after I recovered was, “Did you try to drown me, or kiss me?
“I was trying to save you!” The man’s voice was deep, but he sounded amused.
“Are you sure you didn’t try to drown me?” I asked, as my vision started to clear and my throat didn’t feel quite as much like I had swallowed lava… maybe just a pot of boiling water.
“Quite sure. You seemed to be doing a fine job trying to drown yourself, though. I apologize if my introduction startled you into such a fit,” said the man.
My rescuer was beautiful: his skin was almost golden, and his eyes were the brilliant color of a turquoise sea. His brown hair was sunkissed, and fell just above his broad shoulders. He didn’t have a full beard, just a little scruff, and he was broad-shouldered with a narrow waist.
The man looked nothing like Soren, yet had the same kind of strength in his demeanor, only with more humor in his eyes.
“You don’t just stand over someone who thinks that they are in a pool by themselves, and peacefully lost in their own little world,” I said, slightly annoyed at the implication that I was such a mess.
“Well, it is a pool for all, right?” he asked.
“Yes, but there was no one in here when I got in.”
“Right, but I wanted to swim, and you were naked. I thought it was the polite thing to do to let you know I was also swimming in here, in case you wanted to leave or wear something,” he looked down at my breasts as I sat up, and gave me another amused smile. “I mean, you were perfectly welcome to stay and join me, since I don’t mind being naked either. I just thought it was the polite thing to do.” He looked down at his own nude body, and my eyes wandered over him as well. Fair is fair.
“Who are you?” I finally asked the handsome stranger.
The man rose up on his knees, and gave a graceful bow, reminding me of Boude. “I am Baldur, My Queen.”
I was taken aback at the answer, although I supposed that I really shouldn’t have been. I remembered that Baldur was a god himself, and recalled the stories that I had read about his mother, Frigg, trying to protect him. She had asked for a vow of protection from all the many flora and fauna of earth, and had only forgotten one small plant— the mistletoe—because she thought it was too small to be harmful. Then I recalled the rest of the story.
I clasped my hand to my mouth. “It was Loki, my father, who killed you,” I said in horror.
Baldur laughed a loud and booming laugh. “Indeed it was, the stories are true.” He shrugged. “But it’s what we do with one another—the gods I mean. If they hear someone is invincible, they just can’t help but keep poking in search of a weak spot.”
“You don’t mind that he killed you?” I asked.
Baldur shook his head. “When it’s your time, it’s your time, no matter who shoots the arrow.”
That’s an interesting way to look at it, I thought.
“Are you feeling alright after your incident?” he asked.
I inhaled and was happy to realize it didn’t burn and sting like it had before. “Yes, I think I’ve recovered.”
“Excellent!” Baldur cheered. “Let’s get dressed and meet in the dining hall—a place where we can talk more—shall we?” His smile was beautiful, and he made me feel warm in ways that I hadn’t in a very long time.
He stood up first and offered me his hand. I took it, and he quickly pulled me up onto my feet. My body swayed forward and I fell into him, naked body to naked body. Our heights were just right so that a very delicate part of him was right against a very delicate part of me, and I gasped. I felt my face pale with the shock of it all, as all the blood in my body rushed to my feet.
I stepped back and closed my eyes, trying to ground myself. No no no… Think of Soren. I reminded myself.
“Sorry,” I said.
“As am I,” he said. “Even though I’d be delighted to take things further, if that is your wish.”
He was looking me straight in the eyes. My body was awake now, desire rushing through me like it hadn’t in some time—like I hadn’t been with anyone in years. But that’s crazy, I just left Soren only a few days ago. Only by my time, though—by his it has been years. Am I feeling both?
Baldur waited for me to respond, and I tried to think of what to say, but I still didn’t feel steady on my feet. I put my hand to my head and closed my eyes, trying to gain some kind of clarity.
“Perhaps, we should save this conversation for another time. Let me take you to your room to rest,” he offered.
I nodded in agreement, and said, “First, we should probably get dressed.”
“Wise decision, My Queen,” he smirked.
I turned my back to him while I put my clothes back on. Yes, I had already seen him naked, and he had seen me, but I didn’t need to add more fuel to my desire.
Once we were dressed, he helped me to my room; I was surprised by how unsteady I was feeling. I’d been hurt plenty of times since I died, but I hadn’t nearly drowned before—maybe it was worse.
He opened my bedroom door for me, and I could tell he was waiting to be invited inside; it was the first hint of awkwardness I had witnessed in his demeanor.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You are very handsome, and I appreciate the rescue—even though you kind of caused the accident in the first place,” I smiled. “But I don’t think it would look good for the Queen to be taking men into her bedroom so soon after her arrival.”
“You’re more than a queen, you know. You’re a Goddess, and more than that, you seem to be a kind one—the most rare of all. Your happiness comes first in the eyes of all of the souls you’re looking after, and in mine as well,” Baldur smiled.
He was shiny and beautiful, and unlike anyone that I had ever had—but I couldn’t think of him in that way until I knew where my Soren was, and if he still loved me. Dammit, why was I always waiting on another man, instead of enjoying the one in front of me? I thought about telling Baldur about Soren, and how I was waiting to see if he came to me, but I didn’t need to overshare. I was afraid that it would sound like I didn’t want Soren to come back, or like I would be settling for Baldur if he didn’t. Neither scenario was true, so it was best to stay quiet.
“Happiness is fleeting,” I said, and tried to smile at him, but my voice was tinged with sadness that I couldn’t manage to hide.
Baldur reached out to brush the side of my face with his fingertips. It was a gentle comforting gesture.
“Indeed,” he said. “That’s why one must always be in search of it.”
He walked away, and I watched his glorious body glide down the hall as if he was the king. If nothing else, I hoped that he and I could at least be good friends.
Remembering my puppy that I thought I had left in the pool room, I called out, “Garmr!”
I was answered with a bark that came from inside my bedroom. I opened the door a little wider to see him on my bed, happily wagging his tail, and nearly double the size he had been only a few hours ago.
Relieved, but puzzled, I went over to the bed and scratched him behind the ears until he rolled over, wanting belly rubs. The woman had told me that hellhounds grew fast, and I wondered if that was why he was getting so big, or if it had something to do with the way I had structured time here. I did wish someone had warned me of the dangers of that.
It was nearing evening, and there were things I needed to do. I needed to go into the dining hall and eat with my people, listen to their concerns, think about ways to make life better here, help the children. Unfortunately, I didn’t want to do anything except hide away in my room and alternate between thinking of Soren, and trying not to think of Baldur.
I changed my clothes into something more dinner appropriate: A simple but lovely red dress with gold details. Looking at my reflection once again, it wasn’t lost on me that my new choices in clothing reflected the styles of my friends that I missed. I touched the soft, silky fabric and remembered my adventures with Andreas and Boude.
The dining hall was booming with loud voices and laughter. Plates were piled high with colorful roasted vegetables, fresh baked breads, and delicious-smelling smoked meats. The fires were kept at a low level so that we weren’t living in a sauna, and my guards were keeping a close watch on anyone they thought might get out of hand.
As I stood in the entrance to the hall, just observing, one of the guards came up to me and asked, “Queen Hel, may I escort you to your seat?”
The man was older, but by no means old. His beard was thick and streaked with gray, and his eyes were blue and wise. He was still strong, but he had lost the drive to fight all the time, like the rest of these men seemed to have.
“You may,” I told him.
He took my arm in his and led me through the rows of tables. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure where he was going seat me. I hadn’t chosen a particular spot for my daily meals. As we neared the other side of the dining hall, I was shocked to see us approaching a beautifully carved throne.
I stopped in front of it and reached out to gently touch the dark wood.
The guard smiled at me. “Do you like it?”
“It’s stunning,” I told him, then asked. “Who made it?”
“We’ve all worked on it, anyone who could build or carve. It’s been out in one of the sheds, and people have stopped by all day to help,” he told me.
Tears stung my eyes as I moved closer. The throne was as tall as me; it was smooth, and polished, and everywhere that I looked on the side or back there was some intricate carving of an animal or flower. The front of the throne was smooth and untouched, and I couldn’t resist running my fingers across it.
“That part is unfinished, so we can add details as you rule,” he said.
“I don’t know what to say,” I told him, smiling so that he knew I was happy. “It’s absolutely incredible. Thank you.”
The man blushed, and seemed pleased that I appreciated their effort. “I hope you enjoy it.”
I watched as he walked away back to his regular post, then I looked back at the chair in front of me. Throne—I have a fucking throne. I couldn’t even figure out how all of this was possible.
