Barren, p.6
Barren, page 6
Just like Maia.
Just like Drake and Moe.
Alina, Beau, and in a bittersweet way, Nox as well.
“I’ll be with Alina while you two are on stage,” I tell Crispin as he walks by me with an arm wrapped around Needles. “If anything goes wrong, yell for me, okay?”
“Thanks,” he says quietly with a nod.
I look over at Needles who’s gingerly running a hand over the heart she bestowed upon the Human Pincushion one night as he slept. She looks up at me and nods in agreement before she leads the way to the stage, head held high, and so damn proud of what she and her lover are ready to show the crowd.
Once they begin their act, I walk over to Alina, and give her a gentle nudge. She looks up at me for a moment before she finally slides over on her bench, giving me just enough space to hover on the edge.
“I promise that I won’t ask you what he said to you again, okay?” I begin in a soft tone as I brush her wild hair off her shoulder, “but I need to know if you think Maia will be alright. I know that you’ve already been through whatever Indigo put you through, but she’s my best friend. I can’t let anything happen to her. Should I go find her?”
Alina leans forward and rests her elbows on her vanity. She looks at her own reflection first before she turns her eyes toward my doppelganger in the tempered glass and purses her lips.
“We’re different, Maia and I, Yager. What would cause harm to me would do nothing to her,” she finally says in her sultry timbre.
I shake my head and look away for a moment before I decide to try again. “What did you tell the Malus Twins when we left you alone with them?”
“Nothing that would be of use,” she replies in a clipped tone as she rummages around on the table. Once she picks up her nail filer, she begins to sharpen her claws, glancing up at me through the reflection again.
“Alina, what did you tell them?” I press, giving her a level stare.
She tilts her head to the side as she continues to file in silence, small fragments of her nails falling into her lap. I reach over and swipe them away for her, knowing that she only ever really reacts when she has a man’s attention the way she wants it—knowing that it will probably get her to tell me things she doesn’t want to.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” she begins conversationally. “Indigo, I mean.”
I jerk my hand away from her lap and roll my eyes as I look at her seemingly amused reflection, “You know just as damn well as anyone here that I don’t know what that even feels like.”
“Do you like looking at him, Yager?” she asks before she blows on her nails and holds them up.
I shrug, but when she gives me an odd look in the mirror, I nod like she expects. “Does him being close to you make you feel any differently? And you know what I mean by that. Before you decide to play games, remember that time is ticking,” she says, tapping the handle of the filer against the vanity to make her point.
“I don’t know, Alina. I mean, the first time I saw him my heart raced a little bit, but I didn’t feel,” I grumble.
“Don’t lie if you expect the truth from me,” she snaps. I turn my head to face her and take a deep breath. Alina isn’t one to use anger to get what she wants—not when she can use her wiles and charm instead.
“I asked Maia about it. She said it sounds like a crush, but she didn’t mention anything about love,” I admit, rubbing the back of my neck.
“Good. Because when the time comes—when it’s your turn, you’re going to need to be stronger than you ever have been before. He’ll talk with you for a little bit, entertain whatever he feels needs attention, and in doing so, he’ll find out your weakness. That is how he’ll destroy all of us. One by one, until the only one left is the one he decides to have mercy on.” Alina brings her point home by pointing the sharp end of the nail file at me. “The only reason I was able to walk out of his house was because he said that I was ‘too easy’—me; not enough of a challenge for a man? That hurt me more than anything he could have done to me, and he knew it. That’s how he struck at me without using his hands. You said he almost decapitated Beau? Which of the twins has always joked about being his own man? He found his weakness and exploited it, Yager. Think long and hard about what you want—what you really want before you spend time alone with him. If you’re not careful, he’ll use it against you when you least expect it.”
But Alina’s final warning falls on deaf ears.
Maia has never loved her wings; she’s hated them ever since they were implanted into her little back. She told me that being a little person was enough of a hardship without having the wings attached.
If she tells Indigo—if Alina isn’t lying to me—he’ll try to tear them from her body, and I can’t let that happen.
Maia may be able to take care of herself, but that’s my job when it comes down to it. She’s always willing to put herself in harm’s way for me, and now it’s my turn to finally return the favor.
Chapter Fifteen
I find Wren with his head against Ezra’s office door. He likes to have the main tent connected to his place of business because it makes it easier for him to come and check on us when we least expect. I think he uses it as leverage on the nights we don’t make as much as he says we do and gives him a reason to dock our take.
When I rest a hand on his shoulder, he jumps, yelps, then slaps a hand over his mouth. Giving me a wide-eyed look, he places a finger against his lips as he grips me by the elbow and leads me a few feet away.
“What’s going on?” I ask him curiously.
“I thought you said Drake was going to find Maia?” he replies, letting go of my arm.
I nod, “Because that’s what he said he was doing. Why?”
“Seems that Moe had different plans. He’s been in there babbling some bullshit I can’t make out to Ezra. As far as I can tell, he never made it to her.”
I clench my jaw and square my shoulders, “Do you know which one is Indigo’s caravan?” I ask him in a low tone. Wren nods and I crack my neck, “Go see if she’s in there. If she’s not, if it’s empty, come straight back, okay? Don’t talk to him if you run into him, Wren. Don’t give him the chance to affect you. Promise me that you’ll do as I say.”
Wren takes a step back, looking uneasy but he nods. “I’ll meet you by the side of the stage in no less than twenty minutes.”
I watch Wren as he makes his way toward the back entrance, slips through the curtains, and heads out into the night before I walk over to Ezra’s office door and knock.
“Occupied!” he shouts.
“Obviously, Ezra. Open the fucking door,” I bark back.
I hear the sound of his chair scraping on the dusty, wooden floor, then his heavy boots as he makes his way to the door and pulls it open. Leaning his head against it, he peers at me dangerously before he speaks.
“Aren’t you on soon?” he asks before he grins to grind his teeth. It’s his favorite thing to do when he wants to make a point. Apparently, he thinks that coupled with his horn makes him look more ferocious than he is.
Maybe to the others, but not to me.
“Not tonight,” I shoot back, shaking my head. “You know the damn schedule—you’re the one that wrote it.”
“Then who the hell is on now?” he asks in a bored tone.
“Crispin and Needles.”
“Okay, well go watch them. Maybe you’ll learn what it’s like to be something special instead of just being different,” he sneers as he attempts to close the door, but I stick my foot through the opening before he has the chance.
“I’m not here to trade barbs with you,” I tell him, “I want to talk to Moe.”
“What makes you think Moe is in here, Yager?” he asks in a bored tone.
I shake my head.
The world could fall down around his fucking head, and he’d still deny it if it meant he could use it against us somehow.
“I don’t know …” the door bangs open with a slam when I kick it out from Ezra’s grip and he almost tumbles to the floor. “The fact that he’s sitting right there, maybe?”
“Little shit,” Ezra grumbles as he regains his bearings and wipes the palms of his hands on his thighs. “Hurry up and say what you need to say—we’re in the middle of business.”
I push past Ezra, something that I know will cost me drastically in the end and walk over to where Drake and Moe are seated. The former with his arms folded on Ezra’s office desk, forehead resting against his arms and body twitching slightly from the pain of letting Moe go on for as long as he apparently has.
“You were supposed to go find Maia,” I hiss at the monster who lets out a dry chuckle before he licks his weathered lips, then looks at me.
“We’re not heroes, Yager. She did what she wanted and now it’s up to her to get herself out of whatever mess she may have found herself in.”
I stare at Moe for a moment who’s smile widens as much as it can before I reach for Drake’s shoulders and pull him back into a seated position.
“Hey,” I say quietly as I crouch next to him and wipe the tears away from his face. “Do you want this nightmare to end?”
Drake wipes his eyes as a fresh cascade of tears spill over and he nods, “But then I won’t be special anymore,” he whispers to me.
It makes me think of the words that Moe said to me on the night Indigo joined us, and I smile at him.
“You’re a good man, Drake—that makes you special enough. Take a deep breath, okay?”
“Are you done yet?” Ezra snaps at me.
I stand up, turn to face him, and begin to chew the inside of my mouth thoughtfully.
“You’ve always wanted us to be different—to be something that no one else is, right? When are you going to be that way, too, Ezra? Instead of just being some bastard with a horn, why not try being the good guy for once?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asks, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.
“I’m asking that you give me the office for a few minutes. I’m asking that you be the good man that we all know you had to be at some point before you soured, and just trust me this one time.”
Drake glances up at Ezra as he cleans his face of errant tears with the back of his hand, and I can swear that I almost see the Ringmaster’s demeanor soften slightly.
Ezra takes a few steps toward me and grabs me by the arm, pulling me close to him. He tilts his head up slightly so that his horn isn’t in the way before he whispers a warning to me.
“If you kill him, you’re fucking next. Think long and hard about this, Yager. I’m sure that Maia won’t be able to survive too long without you around to protect her if I decide to make her my toy on the nights that I’m bored.”
“I’ll be fine, Ezra,” Drake tells him in a shaky voice. “I just hope you’ll let me stay afterward.”
Ezra gives me what he assumes to be a withering stare before he turns on his heel and walks out of the office, slamming the door behind him.
“Take a deep breath and try not to scream, okay? I’ll be quick about it,” I promise Drake who nods. He turns away from me and lowers his head on the table again. When I see his knuckles turn white from how deeply he’s bracing himself, I look Moe into the eyes for the last time.
“You’ll never be able to harm him again,” I tell him in a quiet tone.
Moe’s eyes widen as I place a hand on either side of Drake’s head.
The worst part of what’s about to happen is wondering how to rid the host of the parasite after, but we’ll find a way.
We always do.
Without further hesitation, I place a thumb on either one of Moe’s eyes before I press down with all the strength I can muster.
If he can’t see us, he can’t hurt us.
Chapter Sixteen
Drake is woozy as we walk out of Ezra’s office. Down the long, attached corridor toward the backstage area, I keep him propped up against me, moving as slowly as he needs me to.
I won’t rush him because he’s just suffered a tragedy and even though Moe isn’t dead, he’s severely injured which I’m sure affects Drake as well.
I made sure that he could still see me after I wiped the blood and seepage off on the leg of my pants. His vision is still intact it seems, but I have a feeling that Moe will take this out on him once he recovers.
Which is why I need Needles now.
I walk Drake over to Alina who’s still sitting at her vanity and set him on the floor against it.
“Before you tell me no, look at him,” I tell her quietly. “It won’t do you any harm to watch him until Needles comes out of the spotlight.”
Alina wrinkles her nose as she glances over the side of the table and down at Drake. The back of his neck is wet; crimson with blood and white with the rage of eyesight lost. I half expect her to get up and leave him to suffer alone, but what she does next is so completely unlike her, that I stop mid-turn to watch.
Alina gets to her feet, pushes her hair behind her shoulders, then reaches down to tear a strip of fabric away from her opulent dress. Gently, she gets to her knees beside Drake, licks the fabric quickly, then arches him forward. With an arm wrapped around Drake to keep him from tipping over, she begins to clean up the mess I’ve made as best as she can without causing him further pain.
“Thank you,” I say to her.
Alina looks up at me briefly and nods before she turns her attention back to Drake.
I never did think much of her besides her obvious beauty, but it seems that she cares about the rest of us as much as we do her.
I blow out my breath and walk toward the side of the stage.
Crispin is standing with his back to Needles. Her face is wrought with concentration as her hands move almost too swiftly for the human eye to notice.
When she steps back and smiles, I know their act is done. Normally, he lets her stick him with numerous objects to show his strength and ability to handle pain—as the Human Pincushion should be able to.
Tonight is different, though.
There’s danger in the air, and none of us really feel like performing, but we have to. Everything has to be as normal as it can be with a family like ours, and I only hope that Ezra will accept the modification to their set tonight.
She leans up on the tips of her toes, resting her chin on Crispin’s shoulder to let him know that she’s done, and he nods.
If she could speak, I wonder what she would say. I wonder what her voice would sound like—would it be husky like Alina’s or small and girlish like Maia’s?
When Needles takes a step back, she holds her arms out toward her lover, who spins elaborately and shows off her newest piece of art.
I can’t make it out from here, but I can see that she used an inordinate amount of string and pins to make him into whatever her heart desired.
And the crowd loves it.
They get to their feet and reward them with a standing ovation.
“At least some of you know how to earn your keep,” comes the grumble from beside me.
I turn my face slightly and wonder when Ezra had taken up a spot beside me, but then decide it’s best not to worry about it.
Even is his fucking miserable state, he seems impressed the crowd adored The Human Pincushion and his silent partner so much, that I can see the curve of his lips.
Be it a sneer or a sincere smile, I don’t know.
The only thing I do know is that Maia is still nowhere to be found, Wren hasn’t returned, and Drake is in desperate need of mending.
“Can I ask you something?” I say to Ezra before I turn my eyes back toward the pair as they take another bow.
“Yeah.”
“Indigo—did you find him, or did he find us?”
Ezra chuckles as he turns on his heel and walks away. Truth be told, I asked because I expected an answer, but his leaving to do whatever he usually does when we’re busy on stage is much more helpful.
Crispin and Needles give the crowd one more wave, eyes bright and smiles wide, before he holds out his arm to her and they walk toward me.
Once they enter the wings and know that their adoring public can no longer see them, their smiles disappear.
“Drake needs your help,” I tell Needles who nods and lets go of Crispin’s arm. “He’s with Alina, so head that way.”
“What happened to you?” Crispin asks, his eyes on my pants.
“Moe.”
“It’s about time someone got him,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Come on, let’s go see if we can help the girls out.”
“I can’t,” I tell him, stopping him in his tracks.
“Why not?” he asks, arching an eyebrow.
“Because someone has to go out there and entertain the crowd in a few moments and I’m the only one available right now.”
Crispin shakes his head again, “Then let Ezra go out there and behave like the animal he is.”
“And how are we going to get him to go out there without telling him why? There’s no point in pissing him off any more than he usually is. Just … help Drake as best as you can, keep an eye out for Wren, and if Maia shows up, bring her to the side of the stage, okay?”
“Foolish, foolish man,” Crispin says as he searches my eyes for a moment, but he eventually nods, and we part ways.
Alina, Drake and Moe, Crispin and Needles.
Wren will be okay because he always is no matter what.
Beau and Nox are suffering in silence, hidden away until the former has had some time to heal.
Ezra is back in his office, probably discovering the mess on the floor in front of his desk.
Indigo and Maia—missing.
After I’ve mentally made an accounting for my family, I take a deep breath and walk toward the center of the stage.
I have nothing to give this crowd tonight and somehow, I doubt they’ll care much anyway.
None of us have ever received a standing ovation before tonight so nothing will be able to top what they were just presented with.
