Bibliophile princess vol.., p.23
Bibliophile Princess: Volume 6, page 23
I blinked a few times and regained my composure. The person who had loudly said goodbye was a child bidding farewell to people leaving a simple hut built in front of the Hero King’s temple. Why did that startle me so much?
As I headed inside the temple, I heard someone asking for salvation, as usual. “Lady Saint!” they called. I stopped by each person and asked them how they were, if they had any problems, and if they needed anything. That was my daily routine. However, the number of people gathered here was clearly decreasing. Their gazes were growing skeptical, and I heard them whispering behind my back. I didn’t have to wonder why.
The cure. The whispers had all started then, when the Bibliophile Princess, Elianna Bernstein, the crown prince’s fiancée, developed the cure.
She’s alive! She’ll come save the royal capital with the cure!
The story had quickly spread. I’d thought that everything would be decided at the senior ministers council in the royal palace, but then we received the news that Elianna was alive and that she had a cure for the Ashen Nightmare.
Why? That was the first thought that had popped into my head. And at that moment, I knew that a dark feeling inside of me had taken over my whole body.
I wanted to go to Christopher’s side. I wanted him to look at me, to say my name with love. But even though I knew I couldn’t do that anymore, I still wanted to go to him, just once. I wanted him to touch me, even if it was purely out of duty. I wanted him to want me, Pharmia Odin. But that wish hadn’t come true. Everything I wanted belonged to her.
In the past, I’d thought it was inevitable. I didn’t have the appearance, charm, or witty conversational skills that attracted people like Therese had. I didn’t have the knowledge and curiosity of all things, the desire to help the poor, and the passion to enrich the country like Lady Elianna did. All I had was my bloodline, a general education, my feelings for Christopher, and my father’s power. I had tried to convince my father of that once. I’d told him that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be like them. I had told him that only someone better than me could stand by Prince Christopher’s side.
Despite their engagement, Lady Elianna rarely appeared in society, and rumors had spread that she was his fiancée in name only. When His Highness showed up at banquets, the former fiancée candidates and their parents immediately flocked to him. From the outside, His Highness’s situation was the same as before the engagement.
I’d never do such a thing. I used to tell myself that in an attempt to convince myself.
And then word of her achievements had gradually spread among the people and the nobility, which led to the dramatic event in early spring. Irene Palcas, a noble’s daughter, had gone to the inner palace to learn etiquette. Among Therese and my circle, the perception was that she was being foolish, but it seemed that her mind was made up.
In the end, His Highness’s speculations had been proven true and Irene and her father had been swiftly dealt with, but perhaps my father and I had thought the same thing at the time: there were still vulnerabilities to take advantage of in their relationship. Then, finally, the time came.
I pressed my trembling mouth in a firm line. The maid at my side was looking at my face, but if people knew how I felt inside, they would never even think to call me Lady Saint.
Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that one of my father’s men possibly could have killed her. In fact, I had wished for that to happen. I wanted her gone. I wanted her away from Prince Christopher’s side!
“Lady Pharmia!”
As I stumbled, the people around me buzzed. The blackness inside me made me feel nauseous. Even though I had been hoping deep down inside my heart that she would disappear, I’d pretended not to see it. But then I realized she was alive, and the moment I found that out, the first thought that popped into my mind was “Why are you getting in my way?”
I’d been so close—just one more step to the place I had dreamed of ever since I was a child. It was right within my grasp.
There she was, the girl who had talked about “dreaming insects.”
While the ladies around her were shifting the topic to honey-based confections, Therese asked her what she meant, and I was curious too.
“Insects rarely show themselves in winter. I overheard some time ago that some hibernate in groups. I wonder how the insects in the soil know when it’s spring.”
“Well, insects emerge when the weather becomes warm. Isn’t that obvious?” Therese responded.
I braced myself for another academic lecture from Lady Elianna, but her reply surprised me.
She thought for a moment and then murmured, “Perhaps they’re dreaming.”
“Dreaming? Insects?” Therese asked, sounding surprised.
Lady Elianna nodded and said, “For example, I read an essay stating that cicadas spend seven years in the soil as larvae. For seven years, they wait patiently and intently to awaken—all throughout springs, summers, and cold winters. And then they wake up when the time comes. Maybe they just know when it’s time to live their lives. And...” She turned toward the bright sunshine and looked at the girls chatting nearby. “Maybe they dream about that time, the time when they wake up and emerge, growing their wings.”
Everyone dreamed of the time when they became the main character, yet, involuntarily, my resentment was about to spill out.
Why? Why did you get in my way? This was my time to awaken! I was going to stand next to His Highness as the Saint of Sauslind. Finally, my turn had come!
The people around me panicked as I struggled with nausea that made me dizzy. They panicked because they thought I was carrying the future king’s child.
I wanted to scream, but I somehow managed to hold it back. Everyone around me should have known what the people were whispering now—that I was a false saint and that dried pomelo fruit wasn’t effective against the illness. The words of the hospital staff in the royal capital began to permeate the public.
Now the words circulating around the capital were “the cure” and “the Bibliophile Princess,” even though we had only received the announcement yesterday. It was also proof of how much the people had been waiting for it. All the efforts I had made over days and days to get my name and actions known collapsed in an instant. When one built a castle on the sand, things that had been hardened with lies would crumble right before one’s eyes.
Father was still working on something, trying to get the advantage for me, and I was the one going along with his plans, believing in them and expecting that he would take care of Lady Elianna. I’d chosen this path because I couldn’t give up on my thoughts and dreams despite the circumstances—even though it meant parting ways with my best friend. I was no longer the same person who made mistakes like when I was young. I was not the girl who would stand behind Therese with a smile on her face. I was standing on the pathway that led to the place I’d dreamed about.
I stopped the maids and soldiers around me who were trying to bring the carriage over to this crowded place. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I am all right.”
I caught my breath and tried to quell my nausea as I quietly stood up. I straightened my back as usual and smiled at the people around me as I headed toward the inside of the temple. I heard a smattering of applause from people who still believed in this false saint.
I took a deep breath and headed to the deepest part of the temple to have an audience with King Karl, but I knew that no matter how much I prayed, there would be no salvation there. Even though I had prepared for that long ago, I couldn’t stop the thought that popped into my mind, about the path that I had cast aside. Yet I was still waiting somewhere.
Then a voice of salvation called out to me.
“...mia...!”
~.~.~.~
“Lady Pharmia!”
Panic ran through the crowd. The bodyguards who had secured the surrounding area immediately shouted, “Get the carriage!” I heard someone say, “Open the way!” and there was even more chaos.
In the plaza in front of the temple in Saoura, the royal capital, many temporary huts had been built to shelter the people who could not enter the temple. It was reckless to order a carriage to a place crowded with so many people. I had a feeling they were doing so to prevent other men from touching Lady Pharmia, but as the guards scolded the noisy people, they had a look of violence in their eyes, even though there were sick people who could not move among the crowd.
I, Elianna Bernstein, rose to my feet, trying to stop them, but someone called my name.
It was Irvin Orlanza, who was hiding his appearance. He was also hiding in one of the many huts in the square alongside me. His attendant, Rei, was also disguised and accompanying us.
“But if we don’t do something...” Unpleasant feelings would be amplified for both the people and Lady Pharmia.
Prince Irvin said, “Just sit down!” and his forceful attitude told me he would not take no for an answer. “You know the situation, right? Even if you go out now and reveal your true identity, you’ll just be giving them exactly what they want. You’ll be treated as a criminal who attacked the Lady Saint, the mother of the prince’s child. Do you really have the power to overturn that now?”
His words carried the harshness of reality. I arrived at the royal capital last night. Now, I was in disguise and hiding near the temple. If my true identity were revealed here, I didn’t know what kind of ugly accusations would be made against me. The most likely possibility was the false accusation that Prince Irvin had mentioned. And I couldn’t risk that, because it would go against the prince’s strategy.
As I listened to the commotion, I was reminded once more of the thorn in my side—the “Lady Saint” who had conceived the crown prince’s child.
“Even if Alan were here, I think he would say the same thing,” Irvin whispered.
I thought back to what Lord Alan had said when he had suggested we go our separate ways once we got here.
“Lady Elianna,” he’d began, “when you arrive at the royal capital, you will surely see various things, but I want you to be patient for as long as you can. You were able to manage Modzth, but the royal capital is different. I know you are burning with a sense of justice and duty, and that makes me like you just as much as Chris.”
He had a mischievous smile on his face as he raised a finger as if to make a promise.
“But right now, the most important thing is to have patience.”
I took a deep breath. Even though I was always thinking about the future, I tended to prioritize the events and people I saw immediately before me and would become overwhelmed with my desire to do something about it. But I couldn’t do that at the moment. Even if I tried to deal with this situation, it would only be for my personal satisfaction—a stopgap measure.
Prince Irvin smiled at me as I nodded and got back onto my knees. “If something happened to you here, Jean would hold a grudge that would surge from the bottom of the earth.”
“For the sake of Jean, who watches over us from his grave, we must fulfill our mission,” Rei said solemnly.
“Hey. Don’t kill me yet,” quipped the person who was lying under the awning.
Just as I was about to check on Jean’s condition, the commotion subsided. I could only see from a distance, but it looked like Lady Pharmia had managed to recover and stand up again. I was also relieved to see the encouragement from the people around her.
Actually, Lord Alexei had instructed us to enter the royal palace immediately when we arrived at the royal capital. “Don’t let anyone know about your return. Hide your true identity and enter under His Highness’s protection,” he’d said.
That seemed to be part of His Highness’s plan, but there were things I wanted to do while my identity was still concealed. One was to check on the situation at the temple where the sick were gathered. The capital was equipped with more doctors and researchers familiar with the Ashen Nightmare than Ralshen was. His Highness and I had worked for many years to build the capital up to that point. How would they function with the disease upon us again now? Would a countermeasure unique to the royal capital arise? I wanted to see both with my own eyes and possibly apply them to the Ralshen Region and other areas. And there was one more thing. I wanted to talk to Lady Pharmia alone.
The situation had reached the point of no return. Even I knew that. But before everything was settled, I wanted to talk to her one more time, just like we had in the days where it was just Lady Therese, Lady Pharmia, and me together. I wanted to talk to her as my friend.
Even if it was a naive idea, I hid myself in the corner of the square in front of the temple to wait for an opportunity, but I was only reminded that it was still a difficult situation.
People calmly whispered outside the square.
“Her guards are panicking.”
“Because the false saint’s mask is peeling off.”
“I never did trust her.”
“It seems only upper-class people can enter the temple.”
“She doesn’t care about those who aren’t nobles because she’s the daughter of a duke. She’s choosing who to give medicine to.”
The words I heard made my heart hurt.
In this kind of situation, the people who bore the brunt of the responsibility would be blamed and criticized no matter what. That was my experience in the town of Modzth. But I’d had the title and position of being the crown prince’s fiancée, and Pharmia was standing up without it.
“No,” Prince Irvin murmured to me as I was deep in thought. “People fawn over someone who gives them things they see as an advantage. Once that’s gone, they turn on them. That’s all it is.”
It was as if he was telling me I was being too unrealistic, even though he’d told me before that I could long for an ideal someday.
With a small smile, I returned to check on Jean’s condition. I was so glad I got Jean back while on the road in the blizzard, but he was also badly injured. At first, I had planned to have the royal family’s Shadows capture him and force him to have a discussion with me, but he’d come back on his own. That was good, but his condition was unstable. We’d spent half a day tending to his wounds and keeping an eye on him, and during that time Lord Alan and the Black Wing Knights had made preparations and taken separate actions.
I had been surprised because I’d thought we were going to the royal capital together, but then Lord Alan had put his finger over his lips as if it were a secret and said, “This is part of His Highness’s strategy.” Then he’d reminded me of our previous promise.
Judging by the appearance of the carriage he’d prepared, I’d thought perhaps he was going to pick someone else up. I’d also thought that it would be safer to entrust Jean to Lord Alan rather than myself, since I was heading to the royal capital on horseback, but Lord Alan had told me no.
“I don’t think Jean will be able to relax with me either. Besides,” he’d said with a mischievous grin, “I don’t think he wants to leave your side, Lady Elianna. He wouldn’t say so, though, even if he was forced to eat something incredibly spicy.”
After Lord Alan told me that, and upon the advice of the Black Wing Knights, who were used to treating injuries, I had reluctantly begun our march to the capital. On the way, I’d checked on Jean frequently and tried to take breaks, but Jean had insisted that he would rather us hurry and get there instead of drawing out his pain any longer, so I obeyed his wishes and kept running.
“Why am I hearin’ voices I don’t recognize? Are they the people who’ve come to get me?” Jean had mumbled and groaned as Rei carried him on his back, while Prince Irvin and I rode on one horse together.
After taking a little detour, we’d reached the royal capital, but Jean had suddenly collapsed, and I too had been on the verge of passing out due to the prolonged journey on horseback. The inn had been full last night, so we’d rested in a shed, but today my body was stiff with muscle pain, which I had never experienced before. Still, I was having an easier time getting up than Jean was.
“Jean...”
My heart tightened with guilt and anxiety for making him push himself. Even if we called for a doctor, there was still a shortage of them here in the capital. Instinctively, I took his cold hand and said, “Hang in there,” as if praying. “When you recover, I’ll give you all the sweets I get.”
“Oh, you’ll make him your poison taster?” Rei quipped.
Prince Irvin nodded as if that made perfect sense. “So he’ll be in charge of leftover food disposal.”
“Just who do ya think I am?” Jean groaned.
Prince Irvin laughed. “Don’t worry. Your pulse is normal, and you’re conscious. Your strength and stamina will drop if you push yourself too hard, but since you’re such a hardy man, you should be able to move if you rest for two or three more days.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief, but then Prince Irvin changed his tone. “Now, about our plans from here on,” he said, gazing strongly at me. “I’m going to get my brother. I’d like you to help me enter the royal palace.”
My heart skipped a beat. Irvin Orlanza, a prince of Maldura, and Rei, his attendant, had their own reasons for escorting me so far and working together with me. I knew that, but it still made me feel sad and lonely somehow.
I bit my lip. “The royal palace is... I...” Since he was under the protection of His Highness, Prince Irvin should have been able to move freely within the royal palace, but I hesitated to leave.
“It’s fine,” he said. “You can’t move Jean right now. Besides, no matter what the circumstances, you invited us into the royal palace. The prince has shut us out, but you have your own intermediary, and we’ll take it upon ourselves to use it. Let’s go with that story.”
It was at that moment that I thought Prince Irvin’s foresight might be on a par with His Highness’s. I was hesitant, but I nodded and switched my thoughts to something else.
