Wish and mercy, p.10
Wish and Mercy, page 10
part #1 of Nightwalker Series
Tizzy’s eyes were wide. “This did get way better.”
The girls promised to bring food up soon, then left her in peace, whispering about Aleth and giggling as they ambled down the hall. It felt good to be alone, she thought, but she sorely missed her dog. She missed Allanis and Athen and Lora, too, of course, but the absence of Stormy was a different kind of hurt.
He’d followed her home from the marketplace as a puppy, years ago. She remembered how the breezy spring day had come to its end, how all the people had taken down their stalls at dusk, ignoring the little thing sniffing around and begging for attention. The last sounds in town as she headed home were Stormy’s excited little yips trailing behind her. And every day since, he’d been just as happy to see her.
Tizzy couldn’t believe she’d just abandoned him. She started to pump hot water into the bucket, and with each splash, she became more and more painfully aware of where she was.
Away from home. So much of the day had passed. Allanis and Athen had rarely spent so much time without her in all her memory. She hoped they were doing okay.
She took a rag, soaked it, and then investigated the soapweed pulp in the jars. “Jasmine!” With a generous amount, she started to wipe away the grime on her skin. What a terrible journey it had been.
“Traveling on foot in the storm. What a stupid idea,” she scoffed. Dirt rolled down her cheek along with sudsy water. Each time she wrung the rag out, more dirt collected in the bottom of the bucket. “What was he talking about? What did he call it? An impulse?”
She decided it was best not to think about it lest she remind her head to start aching again. It was time for another bucket anyway. She found a drain in the floor and poured the old water out and pumped fresh water in.
Her hair was begging to be washed. Taking it out of its ponytail was no easy task as much of it had tangled around the tie. The mud and rain made it heavy, and her arms ached as she finally set it free. The damp, grit-laden curls tumbled down her shoulders, and she couldn’t get her hair in the water fast enough, eager to shake the dirt loose. The soapweed pulp felt amazing as she worked it in.
Suradia was less affluent than most of its neighboring towns and cities, so House Hallenar did without many typical royal luxuries such as steaming hot baths and scented soapweed pulp. After careful preparation, Tizzy thought she had cleaned up quite well. The amount of dirt that piled up in the bottom of the bucket from her hair alone was alarming. She emptied out the water, wrapped up in a new towel, and sank into the murky mineral waters of the bath.
“This is amazing.”
She sat on a bench at the edge and tilted her head back onto the edge. Time disappeared. She could’ve been sitting for an hour or for ten seconds—she had no idea. For the first time in too long, she was relaxed.
Then the door squeaked open.
“Tizzy?”
“Aleth!” Her heart jumped. “Where were you?”
“The public baths downstairs. They’re too crowded and honestly kind of gross. I’ll wait till you’re done and use the one in here.”
“Did all the arms come to take your clothes too?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. They were following me everywhere.”
Tizzy lifted her hand out of the water and watched the droplets roll off her fingers and back into the tub. She could barely see her submerged body. “The water might get cold. I can get out now if you want.”
“No, it’s fine. A little cold water isn’t going to bother me.”
She rolled her eyes. “That is unacceptable.”
“I don’t care.”
“Have you seen this thing? It’s huge! Do not make me sit in here all by myself! I’m not some princess, but if I was, that’d make you a prince. So get your fancy ass in here.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Fine. I’ll just get out now, and none of us can enjoy hot water.”
There was a long sigh from the other side of the tapestry. “Why are you like this?”
A smug little grin of triumph worked its way onto her face. “I can’t exactly stand in the corner like you told me to at Secret Teller, but how about this—I’ll turn away.”
“Thanks.” It was a sarcastic response, but it meant that she had won, so she took it with glee.
She faced away from the tapestry and rested her head on her arms. The minerals in the water soothed her skin. “How did you first find this place? Those girls said it’s warded.”
“That’s a long story,” he said, pumping new water into the buckets. He had wrapped up in nearly every towel he could get his hands on. “Let’s just say it’s similar to how you came to find this place.”
She tried to imagine such a scenario. “Who is big enough to carry you on their back?”
He laughed. “Maybe it was a little different. One of the many times I found trouble in the Bogwood, I got hurt. Bad. It was greenkind that time. Kenway found me and brought me here, even gave me a job for a little while. But then I blew it.”
“Is Kenway the owner?” She tried to ignore a pang of guilt from his story.
“Yeah.” He sniffed the soapweed pulp. “Jasmine? Ugh. He’ll probably come by to yell at me. Don’t jump in and do what you do. Just let him yell at me.”
“You know I’m not going to listen to anything anyone tells me, least of all you.”
“Hey, you owe me! Your ass is heavy.” Then he laughed again. Tizzy could hear it echo from the bucket. “My hair is awful. Was there this much dirt in yours? There had to be!”
“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.”
Something was eating away at her as they continued their banter. This wasn’t right, she thought. It wasn’t normal. They were doing it again, trying to pick up where they’d left off. She knew they couldn’t just ignore the past, but that’s exactly what they were doing. Part of her wanted to shut him out again and keep arguing, but part of her had simply had enough of that. She had made things unbearable up until now. Maybe it was time to forgive and forget—she remembered her talk with Talora.
The water moved and suddenly tore her from her thoughts, and instinctively, she turned around. Then she gasped.
“You told me you weren’t going to do that!” Aleth yelled, jabbing a finger at her.
She covered her mouth and found herself blinking back tears. “What the hell happened to you?” His body was riddled with scars—no wonder he’d been hiding from her. “This is my fault. Oh gods, all of it! This is my fault!”
“No,” he spat. “You do not get to take credit for what I’ve been through!”
“You even told me it was my fault! You said you left because of me. That if I had never turned my back on you the way I had, you would have stayed!”
He bit his lip. “That’s not exactly—”
“Yes it is, and you know it is!” she sobbed. “All those things that happened to you after you left, every awful thing you had to go through—” Her voice got small as she hid her face. “They were my fault!”
Her confession was not as satisfying as he had imagined it. He moved through the water to confront her, trying to rub the frustration from his brow as she stared through her fingers with guilt and horror.
“Alright, calm down. See this one here?” He pointed to a jagged line down one of his forearms. “I slipped on a boulder and fell halfway down a cliff, just slid right past this knife of a rock. It had nothing to do with you! In fact, if I had never left, I would probably still have something like it from Rhett throwing me down a cliff. Some of these we can pin on you, sure. I can think of a few.” He said it sourly. “But I’m stupid enough to earn my own scars, I promise.”
She looked up at him, big tears rolling from puffy eyes and down her flushed cheeks. “You’d have been in a warm bed every night instead of sleeping in dirt, or whatever that was at Secret Teller. You wouldn’t have—”
“Tizzy, stop. Please.”
“I’m so, so sorry. I should have been better to you.”
He heaved a tense sigh and sat down in one of the tub’s corners. “For ten years,” he said, resting his elbows on the edge behind him, “that was all I ever wanted to hear.”
She returned to her corner and hugged her knees. “All that time I was such a mess. Every day, I was crushed that you weren’t there, and at the same time I was furious with you. I didn’t realize I should have been the one apologizing.”
Aleth shook his head. “I messed up too. I left. It didn’t matter that I had a reason, I still just left you there. I didn’t even say goodbye.”
Tizzy wiped away her tears with the water. “Will things get better? Are we going to be okay?”
It was a delicate question. He slicked back his wet hair, cold water from the earlier rinse running down his face. He chewed on his knuckle.
“Who knows?” he said finally. “I can’t tell you how all of this is going to go. In fact, there’s only one thing I can tell you, one thing that I know for certain.”
She saw fear in his eyes again and was starting to understand just how much he couldn’t say. “What’s that?”
“No matter what happens, as long as we stay together, we’ll be okay.”
She nodded. “Alright.” She let it all sink in. “I trust you.”
He cocked his head. “You do?”
“Yes. So don’t let me down.” She sniffled, and suddenly she was stern. “If that’s all you can give me, it’ll have to be enough. I’m getting out now. I know I just woke up a little while ago, but I’m exhausted.”
He didn’t know how he had won her trust exactly, but it was a relief. He had expected a longer battle. “I’ll be out soon,” he told her, shutting his eyes.
Tizzy stepped out of the bath, water pooling out onto the floor beneath her. Her towel was thoroughly soaked. She looked back at Aleth, who had leaned his head back in a state of relaxation bordering on sleep, then shrugged and ditched the towel for a robe.
There was a lot to consider, now more than ever. She used another towel to dry off and sat on the other side of the tapestry. Aleth opened his eyes and watched her silhouette.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she said, rubbing her knees. “You got a lot of those scars from other people, didn’t you?”
“Most of them. If it makes you feel better, I don’t scar anymore.”
“So theoretically you could have even more?”
“On second thought, I guess that wouldn’t make you feel better.”
“How did you find so many people who wanted to hurt you? Usually when people find a boy in the woods, they try to help him get home. But you—”
“People don’t like what I am, Tizzy. What we are. It didn’t matter how young I was. Look, I know you have questions. I know there’s so much you don’t understand. I’m going to tell you everything, I promise, but I’m just not ready yet.”
She left it at that. Soon, Mayriel and Velana returned, knocking on the door and giggling.
“Your stuff is done!” Velana shouted through laughter.
Tizzy opened the door with an arched eyebrow. “Thank you, ladies. I appreciate the service.”
“Yeah, we’re not done yet. Move over.” Velana gently shoved Tizzy aside with one of her arms and led Mayriel inside.
“You see, we’re here for your used towels now.” Mayriel wore the biggest smile on her face.
Velana leaned over and whispered. “Hey check it out, May! I think he’s hiding from us!”
“Oh, that’s precious!”
“Hey!” Tizzy snapped. “Give me my clothes!”
“Yeah, yeah.” Velana sighed and took her basket over to the hearth and started laying garments out onto the rack. “I’ll just leave them here for you. We washed his, too. You know, the one outfit he owns. We were careful with it. See?” She held up his worn gray tunic. “He’s had to fix the seams on this about a hundred times. And sew shut some of these stab wounds too. What a mess.”
Tizzy furrowed her brow. “Between the two arms, he’s only got about a sleeve left of this thing.”
“Hey, lady,” Mayriel called from the other side of the tapestry. “I see you’ve got all these nice, dry towels sitting next to the bath here. I’m just going to take—”
Tizzy growled. “Leave ‘em! Will you two please get out?”
With mischievous cackles, the quadramanus pair grabbed the wet towels and dashed out of the room. Tizzy, with plans to file a complaint, raced back to the bath. Aleth had held his breath through the whole encounter, hiding under the water. She knelt down, reached her hand in, and tapped his shoulder.
He came to the surface. “They’re gone?” He coughed.
“Yes, you’ve been saved. You’ve got quite the fan club, don’t you?”
“Fan club?” He wiped the water off his face. “They’ve been laughing at me since the first time I came here. They’re half the reason I always cover up.”
“Oh!” Tizzy started to chuckle. “What, you think they’re making fun of your scars? Is that it?”
“That’s obviously it.”
“Boy.” She grabbed a comb out of the basket and sat down next to him on the floor, starting to work out the tangles in her hair. “Believe me, they don’t even notice them.”
“That makes no sense. Why else do they act like that? Stalking me, pointing at me, cackling like that.”
She stopped what she was doing and just laughed. “Are you serious?” He stared back, confused. “It’s like two wolves staring down a piece of meat.”
It took him a moment, with Tizzy howling in amusement behind him, and then his eyes widened, and his face went pink. “That’s even worse.”
She stifled more laughter and ran her fingers through his hair, catching on a tangle. “Good to see you’re still the densest thing in the world. And good lords, you could use a trim.”
“No, I couldn’t.” He pushed her hand away before she could take to it with the comb. “I will cut my own hair when I think my own hair is ready to be cut.”
“I could just cut it now.”
He glared. “That is the least trustworthy grin I’ve ever seen.”
“Okay, fine.” She got to her feet, laughing. “When you want to see something other than your own damn hair in your face all the time, let me know.”
She sat by the fire to continue combing through her curls and noticed the girls had brought a small loaf of warm bread. She tore into it.
Before long, Aleth parted ways with the bath and was reunited with his towels. He came out from behind the tapestry, drying off his hair. When he came over to the fire to inspect his clothes, Tizzy looked up at him.
“We’ve got to do something about those,” she said through a mouthful of bread.
He grabbed the loaf out of her hand. “They’re fine. Besides, we don’t really have the kind of time or money to just waltz over to a tailor. I’m six-foot-five, Tizzy. It’s harder to find clothes than you think.”
“Time,” she corrected him. “Time is the only thing we’re lacking. If you think I came without any money, you’re dumber than an idiot.”
He scoffed and tore off a piece of bread before tossing it back to her, then took his clothes. A hefty wave of embarrassment stopped him, however, and he returned his tunic to the rack—he couldn’t bear to walk around in it. He wandered off to partially dress, and Tizzy stayed by the fire, dutifully working out every tangle until her hair lay neatly in damp black waves down her shoulders and chest. Then she grabbed something comfortable to wear and dressed.
“I feel a hundred times better,” she said, stretching. “I’m sorry I was such a pain in the ass, but thanks for bringing us here.”
“I feel a hundred times better too. It worked out for both of us.” He fought the chill by standing by the hearth, peering over at her pile of belongings. Attached to her belt was a familiar hilt poking out of a scabbard. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t recognized it earlier. “Is that Wish?”
“What, this old thing?” She picked it up and grinned as she revealed the black blade. “Of course it is! Do you still have Mercy?”
Aleth retrieved his own weapon from next to the bed and revealed its black blade. “I’d never get rid of this. When did we get these? It’s been so long, I don’t really remember.”
“Wish and Mercy, let’s see. I think Lazarus got them for us one year at Winter Solstice. Was I eleven? I think I was eleven. Yeah, because you had just turned eleven about a month before Winter S—oh my gods, it’s almost your birthday!”
“Don’t you get excited about that. I mean it!” He playfully pointed the sword at her.
“Don’t tell me what to do! And are you still any good with that?” She pointed back.
“Good?” He smirked, sheathing it. “Please. I’m the best.”
“Such a humble young swordsman you are. You know, Adeska’s husband says he’s the best.” She watched the lambent light glint off the metal.
“Nope. I’m the best, I promise you that.” He sat down and stared into the flames.
“No doubt about it at all, hm? We should find out for sure someday.” She returned Wish to its sheath and rested it next to her bag. “Do they serve anything besides bread here?”
“Yeah, but you’re paying for it, moneybags.”
Tizzy rummaged through her bag for her coin purse, excited at the prospect of a meal. Going downstairs to place an order would be awkward, she thought, given how she had made her entrance, but food would be worth it.
She never got that far. Before her hands had found any gold, her headache returned. Aleth noticed her wince and grabbed her shoulder.
“Did it come back?”
“Yes!” She clenched her teeth and shut her eyes tight. The pain was like hot knives all over again, sinking slowly into her head from every angle. Slicing, searing, maddening pain that squeezed her and was needles in her eyes. Every time she told herself it couldn’t get worse, it did. “I can’t keep doing this!”
“Yes, you can. I know you can, you can beat them. I don’t know how long they’ll keep being like this, Tizzy, but I know you. I couldn’t beat mine, but you can.”
