Wish and mercy, p.17
Wish and Mercy, page 17
part #1 of Nightwalker Series
She still couldn’t put trust in Talora, even though they’d already met. The woman was a nightwalker who could invade the unconscious mind; how could she? It was true that Talora had maybe saved Tizzy’s life, but Aleth had already told her that ulterior motives were at play in the Convent.
Eidi was stuck in a non-corporeal state, so Tizzy wasn’t sure what harm she could cause them even if she wanted to. Then there was Dacen. On the outside, he seemed a little monstrous, sporting literal spikes on his arms, but he wasn’t argumentative, didn’t have wit or pride to show off with stupid remarks, and wore a calm smile almost permanently.
“Do you talk?” she asked him. He nodded and shrugged at the same time. “Do you just not like to?” This time, he nodded with confidence. “No harm in that, I guess.”
“He’s a tough shell to crack,” Eidi said. “But he’s brilliant. We’ve watched him a few times on the roof with his tools, calculating stuff about the stars.”
“Planets.” He twisted his face up and cleared his throat as though he had to force himself to speak. His voice was faint and hoarse.
“How can you even tell the difference?” Eidi asked. “They’re all just dots.”
“Planets are closer,” Tizzy said, shrugging. “It’s easier to see them move in the sky over time. Stars don’t move. The only reason constellations shift in the sky is because Rosamar moves. Haven’t you guys studied anything the dragonkind have discovered?”
Aleth smirked. “Told you she was smart.”
“Then we’ll just consider the stunt with Lilu a lapse in judgment,” Talora said.
“Alright, I’m getting sick of this.” Tizzy stopped moving and folded her arms. “Yeah, I challenged her when I shouldn’t have, and I got bit, and I almost died. But she was going to do it anyway! She was going to find me in that room. You weren’t there; you don’t get it! Biting me was probably her plan from the start. Can you quit acting like fighting for my life was such a stupid thing to do?”
Talora hugged herself as a breeze picked up. “Sorry, Tizzy. I suppose I’m just being hard on you because—”
“I don’t care! It doesn’t matter why! I don’t need someone to be hard on me!”
Talora looked to Aleth, but he put his hands up. “Don’t come to me to fix this. She’s got every right to speak for herself. This is who she is.”
“You all know way more about me than I know about you.” Tizzy met the eyes of each of them, even Dacen. “And I don’t like it! But I’m not asking for anyone to level the field. I just want to make sure that the information you’ve been told is accurate. I am not here for any of you. I don’t care what significance I have. I am only here for him.”
Aleth could feel his face get hot. He knew they had made amends, but he hadn’t thought he’d ever see her fierce loyalty again.
Eidi approached her, floating only inches away. “I respect your walls, Tizzy, but give us a chance to win your confidence. You have ours.”
“How? We’ve just met!” she snapped. “Shit, give me a chance to let you down!”
Aleth stifled a laugh and squeezed her shoulder. “Alright. We should keep moving.”
Tizzy relented to him, her mind racing to figure out her new acquaintances. She trusted Talora the least, if only because of the woman’s ability to get inside her head without permission. But it was Eidi and her cheerful, desperate optimism that Tizzy liked the least.
Tizzy walked side by side with Aleth, leading the way. Their pace was more relaxed with the new plan to utilize the ley lines. At dusk, they reached the Sheerspine River.
She hadn’t seen a more dangerous body of water in all her life. The river was at least a hundred feet across in the area they were stopping. The current was choppy, white, and swift, and she watched it carry giant fallen branches that were bigger than cattle. At the halfway point, a conical stone jutted up from the water’s surface. A purple marking wrapped around it like a spiral.
Aleth pursed his lips. “Are you guys sure about this? We can still go back and use the bridge like normal people.”
Talora smiled. “But we’re not normal people. Besides, there’s a warden posted there now. He has Vandroya’s colors.”
Aleth rolled his eyes. “So what? I’m hungry anyway.”
Tizzy stared at him with feigned horror. “Boy, did that mean what I think? That was sinister.”
“That was nothing,” he said. “Is everyone okay with this spot?”
They all nodded in some manner. Tizzy set her bag down. “Do we want a fire? I can make a mean fire.”
“Are you sure?” Talora sounded both doubtful and impressed. “Everything out here is soggy. Did you not see the storm?”
“Tal, I’m unstoppable.”
“I have learned this about you.”
Tizzy had never stayed outside before without a tent and bedroll. She dreaded the idea of laying on damp brush on the forest floor, but Aleth and Dacen were setting up a boastful camp as she dug the firepit with a rock. They amassed dozens of long branches and started building two tripod-shaped frames off to each side of the firepit, out of harm’s way but close enough that they would be warmed by its flames. Talora draped each frame with leaves and brush until they had two covered shelters. Aleth threw down fir boughs to keep them off the ground, and the campsite was nearly done.
Tizzy finished the pit off with a ring of rocks, then left to hunt for dry tinder and kindling. She’d spent enough time outdoors hunting firewood for House Hallenar to know a few tricks. With little effort, she located a fallen tree. All the dry components she needed were safely underneath, protected from the rain. She gathered a handful of leaves and fungus and headed back. With the hatchet and flint she had packed in her bag, she got to work stripping nearby branches of wet bark, and the fire was ready as Aleth, Dacen, and Talora finished up.
“We could live in those.” Tizzy put her hands on her hips, unable to contain a grin. “Nice job.”
Talora gawked at Tizzy’s results. “I can’t believe you pulled that off without magic.”
“I watched her!” Eidi said.
“You guys need to calm down.” Aleth knelt by the flames. “You’re going to scare her off.”
“You really are.” Tizzy joined him and threw a twig into the pit. “So, you made one of those for me, right? I’m a princess, after all.”
“If you’re a princess, that makes me a prince.”
“Guess the rest of these peasants are sleeping in the dirt!”
Talora sang from inside one of the shelters, “Nice try, but we’ve claimed the big one!”
“What? I made that one for me!” Aleth threw a tiny rock, and Eidi and Talora started giggling. Dacen shrugged and joined them. “Eidi does not count as a third body! She’s see-through!” None of his grumbling got them to come out.
Tizzy reclined on her bag and made herself comfortable by the fire. “At least I don’t take up much room.”
“I’ve noticed.”
Grumpiness had consumed him entirely. She knew she had an uphill battle. “What’s on your mind?”
He sighed and threw a leaf into the fire. “Nothing.”
“You’re an awful liar. Still.”
“That’s what everybody tells me.”
She started clearing away larger debris on the ground until there was just a fine layer of dirt. He paid her no mind as she dragged her finger through it. Then she lowered her voice.
“You know, there’s a banshee over there who is absolutely infatuated with you.”
He winced. “Yeah.”
She drew a heart in the dirt. “Have you had any steamy Ethereal relations? Hm?”
“Tizzy!”
“That’s a no, then. Interesting. Why not?”
“What’s the matter with you? Why are you so nosy?”
She drew a crack in the heart. “So you just don’t feel that way about her. I see.”
He hid his face. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure! What’s on your mind?” she asked, wiping the doodle away and giving herself a blank slate.
Aleth slouched forward and groaned. “It’s nothing. I have to keep some things to myself.”
“Guy stuff.”
“Tizzy. Shut up.”
She giggled, tracing a new shape in the dirt. He sighed and got up to make a comfortable spot, setting his cloak down and lying on his stomach. Tizzy rolled her eyes at the laughter from the others.
“I don’t know what those losers have against my fire.”
“It’s a good fire,” he said, folding his arms and resting his head on them. “Hey, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”
“Well don’t stop now. You’ve been asking me things since this all started.”
“Why’d you stop drawing after the accident?”
The question made her cold and she swallowed hard. “When I woke up from, well from being dead, somehow I woke up left handed. I don’t know how or why, and it sounds stupid, but I just couldn’t get my right hand to work the way it used to. It just wouldn’t. I had to relearn how to do everything with my left, and with all the stress from the way everyone was treating us, I never really felt like going back to re-teach myself how to draw. Something about it felt trivial.”
“You were good.”
She bit her lip as a smile forced its way onto her face. “I was okay.” She drew a squiggly line, and he peered over to see what was in the dirt. She started to chuckle.
“Hold on, is that supposed to be me?”
She was laughing so hard, she gasped for air. “Look at your hair!”
The others heard the commotion. Talora peeked her head out of the shelter. “Eidi, look. Look at this jerk smiling.”
“I never noticed how unhappy he was before. I mean, I knew he was, but—” She stopped and stared. “They’re really close.” She watched with Talora as the siblings started shoving each other to make amendments to Tizzy’s drawing.
Aleth grabbed her hand and wrestled it away from the dirt. “What are you doing now?”
She cackled and wriggled around until her pinky could touch the ground. “Rabbit ears!”
“Don’t you dare!” He dropped his shoulder to the ground, obscuring the drawing and wiping it away for good. Then he laughed with her when he saw how he’d fallen. “I think I threw my back out.”
“Goodness, the fragile back of a twenty-three-year-old.” She wiped away a tear, her face still red from giggling. “You really have to be careful when you get to that age.”
They stayed by the fire until the flames could barely reach up from the coals anymore. Then they watched the final ember die from the shelter. Tizzy expected to be cold, but the space was cozy. She looked at Aleth as he stared off in thought.
“You ever going to tell me what’s on your mind?”
“I didn’t think it would be like this.”
“You mean how all of us are right now?”
“I mean you and me.”
She was quiet and stared out with him. “How did you think it would be?”
“Difficult. I thought being around you would be harder, that all we would do was fight and bicker, and it’d never end. I thought for sure that things could never be the way they were.”
“That’s what I thought too. How the hell did we manage to make it this far?”
“I don’t know. I hope it stays this way.”
***
“What do you think of this, Lora?”
Lazarus offered the woman a taste of the stew he’d been making over the hearth. She blew on it a few times and took a try.
“The potatoes are bland. Add mustard seed and pepper. And go easy on the rosemary next time.”
He chuckled. “Mustard seed? I can always count on you, Lora.”
For several hours, he’d been in the kitchen preparing dinner. Lora, however, was away from Allanis’s side and therefore rife with anxiety. She had spent the latter half of her day with Lazarus creating an elaborate pie to busy her mind. She had picked the apples fresh, ground away at the spices with a mortar and pestle, and had even cut little leaf shapes out of the dough. Now that it was finally finished, though, she felt worse than before. She couldn’t even show it off to Allanis.
Adeska came into the kitchen, singing as though she didn’t have a care in the world. She sat at the counter and breathed in deep.
“It smells wonderful in here! Lazarus, you haven’t cooked dinner in ages. I can’t wait!”
“It’s been awhile,” he admitted. “But I’ll always have a few tricks up my sleeve.”
Lora rolled her eyes. “Your potatoes would be lifeless without my guidance.”
“See?” Lazarus gestured to her. “I can do anything as long as she’s around. Will your family be joining us, Adeska?”
“No, I’m afraid not. I let Centa head back to Kamdoria with Mari. I told him I’d probably head back once Allanis returned, so long as things started to calm down.”
“Even if they don’t, you’re only a day away at the most! We can send for you if it’s important.”
“Stop trying to get rid of me!” she laughed. “Let me enjoy this for a little while longer.”
Rhett and Athen came into the kitchen some time later, smelling food. Athen sat at the counter with Adeska, his face stiff and somber. Rhett pestered Lazarus for a taste of the stew.
“Cheer up, Athen. Lazarus is cooking, just like way back when!” Adeska put her hand on his. “Isn’t that exciting?”
No one noticed Rori slip into the kitchen except for Lora. The blonde avoided the stern woman’s glare.
“It’s not like way back when,” Athen said.
“Well.” Adeska drummed her fingers on the countertop. “It’s not, you’re right. Allanis is away, and let’s see—” She felt her face grow hot the more she thought about it. “And Aleth isn’t here. And Tizzy’s cooped up in her room—”
“No she’s not.” Athen’s sigh shook. “Guys, she’s gone.”
“Wait, Tizzy left?” Everyone looked to Rori after her sudden outburst. “Are you sure?”
Rhett smirked. “She packed her shit and even left a note. I guess when the going gets tough, the best solution is to run away with your tail between your legs.”
“We knew she was gone,” Lazarus said, ignoring Rhett. The frown he wore was his weariest one yet. “Adeska and I didn’t know how to tell you.” He poured the stew into bowls.
“So you just lied to us?” Athen narrowed his eyes. “I don’t care how estranged she might be to you; she’s still my sister!”
Adeska reached for his hand again. “Athen—”
He snatched it away. “Here I was, thinking she was still upset or having another headache or something. I thought all I’d have to do was give her some time and things would go back to normal. But no, it turns out I should have been worried sick because I have no idea where she is or if she’s even okay!”
“I really misread the situation.” Rhett sat down at the counter with his bowl. “I didn’t know anyone really cared. Is it that big of a deal? No one liked her.”
“How can you say that?” Athen got to his feet. “So maybe I don’t understand her, and she can be a little rude, but so can you! The difference between you two is that she’s looked out for me and Allanis and has had our backs all this time! What’s the last thing you’ve done that wasn’t for yourself?”
Rori grabbed a bowl and hurried out of the kitchen. “I don’t want to be a part of this.”
Rhett shrugged away Athen’s rage. “Everything I do is for myself. Why not? I can be that way because nobody needs me, especially not in this family. Someone will always offer to help before the burden actually lands on me, so why bother? And anyway, when’s the last time any of you cared to know how I was doing? I can spin this on you just as fast.”
Athen left the room, spewing explosive profanity.
Lora took a long, contemplative bite of stew and then sighed. “Gods, this family. Listen, if anyone cuts into that pie, I will have every single Hallenar scalp under this roof. Good night.” She left for a more peaceful place to dine.
Rhett ate proudly and quietly as Lazarus and Adeska sat.
She stared blankly at nothing. “What happened? How did everything get this difficult? Time makes things so complicated.”
“There’s eight of us,” Rhett said, his mouth full. “You should’ve expected some dissidence. We’re still people, and some people hate each other.” He pointed his spoon at Lazarus. “This is pretty good.”
“Thanks.”
***
Rori escaped the suffocating atmosphere of House Hallenar as night set in. It was cold and misty outside, a still-bloated waning moon in the sky. She’d given Alor her stew after the family had caused her to lose her appetite and had a good laugh watching Stormy lick the bowl clean. Then she found one of her favorite old story books to read aloud before tucking the boy into bed.
The events on the horizon would continue to shake the family. She knew that well. With a cold sigh, she explored the outer courtyard until she came to a little shed along the fence. After years of neglect, she knew it’d be home to spiders now, cute and little and terrifying as she’d always found them. She opened the door anyway.
It still smelled of eucalyptus. Since the very first time she’d brought a branch back from the marketplace to cut up, the scent had permeated her workstation, sometimes making it impossible to finish herbal concoctions that she could only work on by scent. At least it kept the spiders out of the drawers. She fumbled around with a flint until at last she had lit a candle. The orange glow caught the shadows of a few empty webs clinging to the corners.
She traced her hand along the wooden desktop, cut deeply with work and stained green by plants. She missed what she used to do. She missed her dreams on her home, on Mirivin Mainland. Some of her tools still remained in their drawers, including a white-handled boline that had been a gift from Adeska. Rori cracked a smile when she saw the notebook that she’d made completely by hand, including every wrinkled page and the drop-spindled thread that bound them together.
