Promising today, p.19
Promising Today, page 19
He laughed like she’d joked. “We both know you prefer my commands than my requests, baby girl.”
Heat—not from the late August sun—burned her cheeks. She cast a quick look around her at the other beachgoers. No one was too close, but still.
Jude palmed her thigh as he reached into the cooler and pulled out a sandwich. “Here. Eat up and then we can cool off in the water.”
She took the sandwich from him, staring at it while her mind raced to connect the dots but there wasn’t enough information. He hadn’t seemed like the kind of guy who got attached after a fuck. Not that what they’d done last night was typical of her hookups. But something always happened when things were going well, and this seemed a little too good to be true. She didn’t want to get her hopes up just to be let down.
“Relax, Nova. Just eat and enjoy the view.” He picked out his own sandwich and unwrapped it before taking a big bite.
They ate in silence for a few minutes. A few women off to the side checked him out. Nova stiffened, wanting to grab his face and kiss him to let them know he was taken, but she had no right. And those urges were a sign she might be developing real feelings for someone she had no business catching them for.
“Is there something wrong with the food?” Jude asked.
“What? No. Why?”
“You’re making a face like you ate something rotten.”
She wrapped the sandwich up and reached over him to put it back in the cooler. “So is this like a consolation date?”
“No.”
Nova chewed on her fingernail, her chest tightening with anxiety.
Jude’s fingers threaded through hers, pulling them out of her mouth. “That’s one, Freckles.”
“One what?”
“Bite your nails again and it adds to your tally of punishments.”
She cast a quick glance around them. No one other than the women looked their way. Honestly, she couldn’t blame them. Jude was sex on a stick.
Still … “Look, you don’t need to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Pretend like this is more. We’re both adults who have needs and obviously have chemistry. We don’t need to make this into more than what it is.”
He didn’t say a word, but his smile dimmed. Jude stared out at the waves for a few minutes, his hand remaining in hers.
Is he mad? Did I screw this up? Isn’t no strings what he wanted too? He made it clear he was leaving after . . . well, eventually. She chewed on her bottom lip. Had she hurt him?
“I can hear that brain of yours spiraling,” he said, quietly.
“I wish I could hear what yours was thinking.”
“And I wish I had more experience with this,” Jude said.
“With what exactly?”
“Dating. Relationships. All of it.”
“Surely you’ve had some.”
He shook his head. “This is my first date, and it’s obviously heading for disaster.” He brushed his free hand up the back of his neck like he was self-conscious.
Nova blinked. Oh, fuck. Jude was serious. He wanted this to be a date? “You mean, you really do want this to be a date?”
“I don’t play head games, Nova. I say what I mean. I don’t do this.” He waved towards their beach setup. He pulled his hand away from hers. “Fuck. Let’s go. I’m sorry—”
Nova grabbed his hand like it was a lifeline. “No. Stop. I’m sorry. I just . . . I thought you only wanted sex.”
“Is that what you want?” He didn’t look at her.
She took a deep breath and let it out. “The sex was pretty amazing.”
He didn’t smile.
“You scare me, Jude.”
He closed his eyes and gave a solemn nod like he was accepting his fate. “I see.”
“No, I don’t think you do. You scare me because for the first time in my life I truly feel safe with a man other than my family. But the last time I trusted someone with . . . more didn’t end so well for me.”
“I’m not him, Nova.”
What had happened to Freckles? “I know. You’re nothing like Brooks. I didn’t—fuck—I’m still figuring this out as we go too. I guess I’m a little rusty myself. I just didn’t think you’d want more than our arrangement.”
Jude turned to her, taking her chin in his fingers. “I’d be the luckiest bastard on this planet if you gave us a real chance.”
The energy shifted between them. Salty winds blew against them, almost as if Mother Nature herself was trying to push them together. And maybe this was a sign from the universe that she should trust Jude—trust that this really was the start of something new without worrying that the other shoe would drop.
“I think you’re far better at this than you realize.” She kissed him, wrapping her hands around his neck and pulling him close.
He slid his tongue inside her parted lips in a sensual dance before he pulled back and trailed kisses across her freckles.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Jude said as she straightened.
“What’s that?”
“Why does your family call you Akua?”
“It’s my Ghanaian middle name. In my birth mom and Renita’s culture they have names for girls or boys born on certain days. I was born on Wednesday, like my birth mom. When I changed my name in the adoption process, I wanted to keep a piece of her with me. So I’m Akua Ketewa, which means little Akua in their first language, Twi,” Nova explained before taking a drink.
“That’s really cool.”
“I think so.”
“Can I show you something?” he asked, pulling his backpack on his legs, his hand waiting on the zipper.
“Sure.”
Jude opened the bag and pulled out the sketchbook he’d wanted to keep private before. He set it on her lap.
She looked at him for permission. He nodded and she lifted the cover. She gasped. Swirls and shapes formed by graphite covered the page in the most hyper-realistic drawings and portraits she’d ever seen. The first page had a few skulls and rotting decay in a field with shaded patches she assumed were blood. It was dark, but it was beautiful—much like the man beside her.
She turned the page, and a picture of a phoenix looked as if it were going to fly off the page. Nova pressed her hand to the flat surface. “You drew these?”
“Yeah.”
“Jude, these are incredible.” Page after page, his drawings progressed. Soldiers playing cards in the jungle. A desert landscape with bodies and war. Dragons, and wolves and—her. Nova stared at her own reflection. Her face in startling detail with fierce anger in her expression. She looked powerful. Was that how he saw her?
“I drew that the night after running into you with your flat tire.”
“You drew this from memory?”
He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck again. “I finished it after we moved in together.”
She turned that page, and the next, and they were of her, though with much less clothes on the farther she flipped. The way he drew her… she looked beautiful.
“Jude …” The pages blurred as tears marred her vision.
“Shit. Are they that bad? I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He took the book back and shoved it into his bag.
“Not at all. Those were beautiful. You’re amazingly talented. I want to frame them.” She wiped her eyes.
He brushed off her compliment, staring at the striped beach blanket.
Nova leaned against his shoulder. Jude tucked his other arm around her, staring at the waves.
“How did you learn to draw?”
“It’s just pencil and paper, Freckles—nothing special.”
“Fuck that. You could make money with that kind of talent. Pencil and paper,” she scoffed. “I wish I had a quarter of that creative talent.” She peeked up at him, catching the quick tilt of his lips. “You ever thought of doing something with your art?”
“I was planning on getting an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop in Michigan, but then . . .” Jude’s jaw hardened as pain flashed in his eyes. “Then I came out here.”
“I could talk to my tattoo artist in town. She’s amazing and might be willing to take on an apprentice. Cleo was looking to have another artist or two join her shop.”
Hope brightened those hazel orbs making them look green like the sea, but then Jude shook his head. “It’s kind of stupid to start a career at thirty-four.”
“Don’t say that. It takes most people until their thirties to start to understand who they are and what they really want out of life. Don’t knock yourself because you’re going after a dream. That’s fucking brave, to start fresh, if you ask me.” Nova snuggled closer. “Vera Wang didn’t even design her first wedding dress until she was forty, so you’re getting an earlier start than she did. Stan Lee didn’t create his first comic until he was almost thirty-nine.”
Jude chuckled. “How can you remember these facts and forget what you walked in the room to get?”
She shrugged. “That’s ADHD for you.”
He kissed her forehead. “I like that about you.”
Butterflies swirled in her belly. “I like that you’re a big softie under all the grumpy scowls.”
“After last night, you still think any part of me is soft?”
Nova smiled and looked up at him. “I had a lot of fun last night.”
“Me too. No one’s ever . . . never mind.”
“Tell me.”
“I’ve never been called Daddy before.” Jude picked up a handful of sand and let it spill out back onto the ground beside him.
“First date and first time being called Daddy. You’re on a roll.” She laughed.
“You bring a side of me out I’ve never thought existed,” he admitted quietly.
“I have a confession, too.” She grinned, picking up his hand in hers. “I’ve never called anyone that honorific before either.”
“Good.” His smile was smug as he gave her hand a playful squeeze.
“How does it make you feel, being called that by me?”
“Like I could take on the world.” Jude’s statement stole her breath.
Nova sat up so she could face him better. “It turned me on too.”
“I know.” His grin grew.
She slapped his chest playfully. “Cocky.”
He laughed, the rusty sound far too unnatural. She wanted to change that.
“Did everything we do . . . was it okay?” he asked.
“You took it kind of easy on me.”
“We didn’t talk about limits.”
And that statement right there was why she trusted Jude. Why she hadn’t worried he would hurt her or cross her boundaries despite all his commands. He was the polar opposite of her ex, and somehow she’d known what he’d just confirmed. Yet still, a piece of her held back.
“I’m not entirely afraid. I think our conversation after the cookie incident would show you that. Your needs seem to fit mine.”
His hand slid up her sweaty legs, drifting under her cut-off shorts. “It would seem that way.”
She tucked a curl behind her ear. “How did you get into this lifestyle?”
“My buddy in the SEALs brought me to a club when we were in Germany. What I saw there . . . things kinda just clicked. I could make sense of some of my desires and not feel like a total outcast in a room full of people who were into some of the same things.”
“Clubs and dungeons can be fun.” She wiped sand off her knee.
Jude curled his finger just under the line of her bikini bottoms, teasing her covertly. “What’s one of your most out-there fantasies?”
“Oh, that’s a fun question. I’ve always wanted to know what it would be like to be chased. Like, hunted down and overpowered. I would still fight back of course.”
“Wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” he murmured, a smile still on his face.
“But it would be hot to be taken like that, pain and fucking raw in our most primal energy.”
“Raw?” he asked.
“Pausing to put on a condom during that might be difficult.” She giggled.
“I got checked before I was discharged, and I haven’t been with anyone since a while before that.”
“I’m clean too.” She swallowed, her gaze dropping to his mouth. She fanned her face. “Fuck, I think I might need to go for that dip sooner than later.”
“Let’s go.” He got to his feet, pulling his shirt over his head, and tossed it on the blanket next to their shoes. He held his hand out for her. Nova took her time, admiring his abs as she slid off her shorts and slid her palm into his, interlocking their fingers. They walked to the edge of the water and she dipped her toes in the cool ocean waters. Waves lapped at her feet.
“It’s cold.”
“It’s New England and the Atlantic Ocean. What do you expect?” Jude picked her up against his front.
Nova squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist. “What are you doing?”
He trudged into the water, the waves getting higher and higher. “You said you needed to cool off.”
She braced herself as he continued farther in. The water wasn’t terrible once you got used to it. This was the warmest it would get all year.
“I hope you’re looking for sharks. I don’t usually go out this deep.” She clung tighter to him as they swam past the break and the water reached her neck. She looked around in the greenish-blue water.
His chuckle vibrated against her hardened nipples. “Don’t worry. I’ll pee to mark my territory.”
She burst out laughing. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“You’re beautiful, but when you laugh like that? Christ, Freckles.” His hands dug into her ass as he pulled her closer against him. “You make it hard to breathe.”
Her mouth dropped open as their bodies shifted with a wave. She stared into his eyes on the most handsome face she’d ever seen. “Don’t say shit like that to me unless you mean it.”
“I meant every fucking word.” He leaned in, his lips sliding over hers as if he was making love to her with his mouth.
Damn, this man could kiss. Nova gripped his shoulders, sliding her tongue against his. His cock pressed against her core as she pulled back.
“Looks like not even icy ocean water shrinks that bad boy.”
“It’s you. I’ve had a constant hard-on since I met your sassy ass,” Jude grumbled.
“Now that can’t be true. You hated me in the beginning.”
“Not at all true. I was mighty inconvenienced by my attraction to you.”
Oh. “Why did you walk away from me the night in the hot tub, then?”
Jude took a deep breath as a seagull swooped and cawed overhead. “Because it wasn’t fair to you, and I knew I’d be lost if I touched you. I wasn’t quite ready to jump off that cliff.”
“And now?” she asked, holding her breath.
“Thought I'd made that clear, Freckles.” He nuzzled her neck.
She tilted it to the side to give him better access. He moved so her back faced the beach, the water lapping at the bottom of her breasts. Jude adjusted her, one of his hands slipping underneath her bikini bottoms.
She gasped, looking around them, but no one was close by this far out. “Jude—”
“No one’s gonna see. You just need to be quiet and let Daddy have some fun with my pussy.”
“Oh fuck.” She moaned as his finger swirled her clit.
“Shhh. If you make noise and draw attention, I’m gonna have to stop.”
Pleasure built within her as he played with her clit. It was like the man had a map to her body, knowing just how to turn her on. Nova gritted her teeth together, trying to hold in her moans of appreciation. Her thighs clenched around him, her feet digging into his ass. Fuck, she was so close already. Everything else fell away. The heat of the sun was replaced with the sticky warmth of Jude’s skin against hers, still no match for the flames of desire he stirred within her. Water lapped at their bodies in a seductive rocking motion. Two fingers were buried inside her, his thumb swirling around her clit, and they were just a handful of yards away from the other unsuspecting beachgoers.
“I’m so close.” Her voice was all breath, drowned out by the rushing sound of the waves or her own blood ringing in her ears—she wasn’t sure. Nothing else mattered right then but the building sensations swirling through her body like a whirlpool of forbidden want and dark need. Tingles raced over her skin. She caught fire with raging urgency taking her right to the edge of her orgasm. A hairline fracture of her control remained, Nova slipped from the edge. She wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer—
“Come for Daddy.” Jude’s soft command in her ear sent her over. He squeezed her sore ass at the same time that he spoke, pain melding with pleasure and making her fly even higher.
Nova bit his shoulder to stifle the scream in her throat.
“Fuck. You'd better leave a mark, baby girl.”
She bit harder. His cock jerked against her. Euphoric bliss cascaded through her limbs. Her body relaxed, as fluid as the water around her. Jude pulled his hand from between her thighs.
She leaned against the shoulder she’d bitten, enjoying the warm, hazy pleasure coursing through her body.
Jude kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”
“I should be the one thanking you.”
“No, Freckles, you can thank me for pain, but your pleasure is my greatest fucking honor. I’m the lucky bastard who gets to make you come.”
“Jude?”
“Hmm?” His cheek pressed against the top of her head as he rocked her side to side in the cool water.
“This has been a perfect first date.”
Nova didn’t need to see him to know her words had made him smile. She could sense his energy shift as he squeezed her tighter.
And for the first time in a long time, those voices in her head that told her how many ways a relationship could go to hell—they were silent.
It seemed maybe she had gotten a little of that luck her brothers seemed to have after all.
But he doesn’t know all of it. He doesn’t know who I am, what I’ve been through. Who I come from.
The old familiar shame she’d carried like a weight around her neck since she’d learned the truth returned. But Nova pushed it away. Jude would understand. If anyone would, a man who’d been through what he had would get it. Trauma recognized trauma after all.
