A dancing monkey, p.16
A Dancing Monkey, page 16
“Wait wait, hold on!” I raise my hands up near my ears, “If you guys were all in on it…”
I turn to Liz and Gabi, rambling eccentrically, “Jon talked about stuff. Stuff that actually happened. There was a car accident! He was jealous. Stalking a woman. Even his dog!” The two women simply shake their heads, lightly shrugging. What’s going on? But I saved everyone from Jon’s despair… didn’t I?
Gabi shifts her eyes around awkwardly as if to wonder if she should say something. Liz wears a puzzled look at me and then to the diary. But, that means… Do they not understand? They have no idea what I’m describing. Was it all just a freakish coincidence?
“Wait, what about when Ethan was wanting to…?” I ask softly. Actually, I asked Ethan about his feelings.
“But the time when Liz was cheating on…?”I stop myself, realizing I was the one who instigated that drama with her and Hunter. I invited myself to meet him and interpreted his motives.
I don’t even bother mentioning Gabi’s stalker since there was no actual stalker to begin with; just me pouncing on a Realtor.
Have I been so disconnected from reality, I allowed Jon’s diary to take me into his world? Or have I been wanting to retain any sort of self-validation by taking what I’ve read and involving myself with anyone around me? Nevertheless, now I know the truth; Jon was with me the entire time. The boy who grew up to be the man I’ve read so much about is right here in front of me, asking me to be with him for the rest of his life.
“So, this is you? The you I’ve never known in all the years we’ve been together. Have I really been so dense as to not ask you these types of questions?” I cry pointing at the diary. “Every date. Every phone call. Every time I saw you. We’ve even lived together for all this time, and I never knew the real you?! Now my head is just filled up with new questions about you. Who are you really? Are you Demi, or Jon? You had me convinced I was this Jane character, that I was in real danger!”
I sigh in frustration, brushing the hair out of my face. Looking back down at the diary, “I just don’t know what to do, Demi. This is a lot of shit, ya know?” I turn to him.
“You’re right, Mel. It is a lot. I feel like a fool for putting you through all this. At the time when I was planning it, I thought it would be clever or something. But knowing it was so stressful for you, I was just being cavalier about you. But all I wanted you to do was know the truth.”
“What did you really expect, for me to say ‘Oh Demi, you were a psycho creep, but you went to therapy. Of course I’ll just agree to marrying you! Especially after knowing all this for only ten seconds!’? ” I throw my hands up in front of me and start walking towards the door, “How do you expect me to believe that?!”
“Mel!? Sweetie!” Gabi shouts.
I don’t bother to respond as I grab my phone and purse, storming out of the house muttering, “I don’t even know what to fucking believe anymore. I gotta get outta here.”
Gabi and Liz try to trail me to my car, but I ignore their pleas as I get in and start the engine. “Mel, Where are you going?” Gabi frantically asks.
I turn towards her as I back out into the street, “It’s finally over, but I can’t believe you all were in on it. I just need some time to think, okay?”
“Mel, it was just me and Gabi. We’re so sorry!” Liz shouts from the driveway behind Gabi.
I just shake my head and drive off down the block, beginning to cry. In the rear view mirror, I can barely make out Demi coming outside to watch me drive away.
- Chapter 30 -
“Where the hell am I even going..?” My hands grip tightly to the steering wheel as I whisper to myself. I’m hardly paying any attention to the road in front of me, let alone see where I’ve driven through.
Clouds overhead in the distance glow with warm colors from the setting sun. Subtle wind brushes against me from the open car windows making my hair lightly toss around. Among everything I’m able to feel, the most prevalent is the feeling of heaviness in my heart along with the emptiness in my soul. “Everything was going so well for so long…” I mutter slowly shaking my head. “What the hell am I supposed to do now-”
My train of thought suddenly fleets away as a rumble is felt on my hands and all around me. I snap out of my self-imposed haze to see an empty gas gauge in the dash. I do my best to ease the car to the side of the road as I come to a dead stop.
“Dammit! Paying attention used to never be such an issue for me before.” I complain to myself, grabbing my purse and pushing the car door open.
Not even bothering to open the hood, I cross my arms over my stomach, pacing around the car looking to see where I’ve ended up. A collection of trees, and light posts are scattered across a huge hilly grassland; I’m at Lindsay Park where I found the diary. With a deep sigh, I timidly decide to leave the car and take a walk through it.
My hand slips into my purse as I take out my phone. At my slow walking pace, the lamp posts next to the sidewalk start glowing one by one as if they’re leading me along my way. After a short distance, I make it to the blue park bench where everything started; where I found the diary of Jon. This time, someone is sitting there all by himself. I’m still several yards away so I can’t really tell who it is. Hesitating my approach, I clutch my purse for my pepper spray, just in case.
Once I’m close enough, I can make out who’s there: a blonde trimmed baby-faced man; it’s Ethan! He glances up at me with surprise, “Oh! Hello, Melissa.” he greets with a smile.
“Ethan? What’re you doing out here?” I ask, letting my purse fall to my side. “I’ve been out here for a few hours after Elizabeth went off with Gabi to-” he pauses to look around curiously, “Wait. She said she was going to see you.”
“She’s back at my place with Gabi and Demi. Things are a little complicated right now.” I reply, taking a seat next to him, looking down at my phone as I fight back my tears. I close out the calendar of events and ignore all of the text message notifications from Demi, Liz, and Gabi. I appreciate them for asking where I went, but don’t really care right now.
Resting the phone on my lap, I close my eyes as I recline back on the bench and say, “I’m assuming you’re out here thinking of what happened with Liz and Hunter?”
“Yes. But now I’m also wondering what brings you out here. Seems kind of random to me.” he replies, looking at me curiously.
“Yeah, I don’t blame ya. I found something out here last week. Something very special.” I start to explain, opening my eyes and looking up at the stars coming out over the trees.
“Special? Found right here?” Ethan asks as he takes a quick glance around the bench.
“Yep. It was left here for me to find.”
“That’s quite intriguing, Melissa. So it was intentional..?” He ponders for a minute, “Did you find out who it belonged to?”
“Oh yeah.” I sigh and nod. I go on to paraphrase to Ethan all my little adventures, all the way up to before the proposal. All the while, I’m careful to not let on that it was Demi’s diary all along.
He vigilantly listens to my rambling for almost an hour. As I explain the situations, each one would refer back to the entries I read at the time. On some occasions, Ethan would express concern. On others, he’d chuckle at the freakish coincidence; especially at the ones that concerned him.
After I leave off the story, I breathe another sigh. Retelling it all has been quite a relief. I’m really glad that he listened to me.
We sit quietly for a few minutes. Ethan stares ahead. I’m guessing that he may be processing a few questions.
After a while, I grow impatient, finally turning to him, “So, what do you think, Ethan?”
“That’s quite a tale. The plot rivals the shows I’m watching.” he jokes as we share a laugh.
“Thanks for listening.” I smile at him.
Ethan leans forward resting his elbows on his knees, contemplating, “So, this Jon guy. Seems like he’s had a pretty rough life, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess you can say that. But well… All those psychotic things he did…” I say softly, staring off into space.
“Well?” Ethan asks, turning towards me. “Melissa, did Jon actually ever rape that Jane lady? I don’t recall you mentioning that he did; you said he wanted to badly, and was on his way to.”
My eyes widened at his observation. My knees start to fidget as I quickly try to retrace my memory. “Well, that’s right.” I mumble, “Jon kept it all to himself.” I look down at my phone’s black screen. My whole body goes a little numb and stops.
“It is a diary, after all. They aren’t really meant to be shared so easily.” Ethan says. I look back up to him. He looks at me with a warm smile, “Everybody is capable of thoughts that can go too far. Fantasies sometimes help people deal with the disappointments and horrors of reality. A psychotic person would be able to carry out such fantasies. And yes, he did spend a lot of time following this woman as well. That part, I can understand, would require therapy to help him. But Jon managed to stop himself and seek that help, did he not?”
“Jon did… Yeah, he did. I, on the other hand, kept all this stress and drama to myself.” I whisper quietly.
“Jon wrote all these thoughts, feelings, and fantasies in a private journal. It’s not like he broadcast this for all to see.”
I smirk at him, “Despite leaving it in public like this?”
Ethan shrugs, “But you said it was meant for just you to find. The situation was a perfect way to pass it off to you, I guess. But, correct me if I’m wrong, no one forced you to look inside those pages, to read through it, or even to finish it.”
I nervously shift my weight on the bench. Ethan’s right. Maybe it’s not ideal to judge Demi so harshly for something he did try his best to fix. Reading it was just a way for me to be entertained. But, it grew into something huge. When I finally learned the truth about the diary, I just gave up on the situation and left so fast. “What do you think I should do?” I slowly ask.
“Well, I don’t blame you for not trusting anyone in this situation anymore. You should take some time to reflect on everything that you’ve learned. It seems to me you’re having trouble coming to terms with it if he actually got the help he claimed.” Ethan explains.
“Yeah… yeah, I can do that.” I nod, leaning over to give Ethan a tight hug, as he gets up from the bench. “I’d better go. I’ll leave you here to think things over in private. I figure that’s why you came out here to begin with.”
I nod and shrug with a fake smile.
Ethan turns and starts walking towards the parking lot. “Whoever this Jon is, he trusted that only Melissa Landry would be the one who could understand him, and she needed to know the truth.” he says over his shoulder.
I guess I am the only one Demi thought was able to understand. But instead of answering his proposal, I’m out here thinking things over-
Hey, wait! I’m still stranded out here!
-Chapter 31-
“Hey Ethan!” I shout with my palms up to my cheeks.
Ethan turns around curiously and stops. I start running towards him as fast as I can. “What’s the matter, Melissa?”
“I need gas for my car, can you help me, please?”
He nods, “Oh, of course. There’s a gas station just around the corner.”
“I’m kinda parked at a fire lane…”
“Alright. Stay with the car so you don’t get towed by the city. If anyone comes, tell them I’ll be right there with a gas can.”
“Thanks so much, Ethan!”
He bolts towards his car saying, “Don’t mention it, Melissa. I’m glad to help.”
Scanning around for any park workers, I make my way back to my car. The time on my phone is almost 10:00p.m., so I have about an hour until this place closes.
After getting back, I sit locked inside. It’ll be a little while, so I’ll check the phone’s alerts from everyone back at the house.
Liz- “Hey Mel. Where are you??”, “Please don’t be mad!”, “I’m not leaving until you come home!”, etc.
Gabi- “I had no idea he was going to propose.”, “I’m so sorry, I would’ve said something if I knew.”, “I’ve been scolding him this whole time. Come home.”, etc.
Demi- “Hi…”, “Please let me know if you need anything.”, “I love you, Mel.”, “Since you’re out; Cookie’s out of the food you bought.”, “I’m a damn idiot. Please come home.”
“You really are, you dork.” I say, laughing a little with tears in my eyes. Wiping my face off with one hand, the other swipes through old photo albums of me and Demi. I take my time looking through my oldest album: Demi and I were at a Cajun seafood restaurant for my birthday. I remember how shy he was. It was so adorable. But, looking at his smiling face in these pictures, I’m beside myself. Behind those emerald eyes were all these secrets.
So this younger Demi had just finished therapy?
A flood of light streams in through the windshield illuminating all around me; Ethan has just arrived.
I quickly shove the door open and hop out.
“Here you are, Melissa.” He comes up to me from his car with a small canister. I pop open the gas door as I grab the canister from him and refuel my car. After handing it back to him, I give Ethan a tight hug saying, “Thank you again, Ethan. How can I ever repay you?” I plead.
“You can repay me by telling me how everything turns out, okay?” He replies with a wink as he walks back towards his car.
“I sure will!” I shout to him as he gets inside his car.
After he backs up, I start my engine and signal to him that I’m good with my headlights. He waves at me as he drives away.
Not planning to go anywhere yet, I leave the car in park as I stare out at nothing. I decide to turn off the engine and return to my phone as I continue to rummage through more albums. As the dates on the pictures draw closer and closer to the present, Demi’s face grows with confidence. His smile grows brighter and fuller. It’s infectious enough for me to smile right now, but I shake it off with the thought of him going to see a shrink.
Did Demi actually get help?
Did he go for a whole year?
Does it even work?
Do I need a shrink?
I can’t seem to get the idea of marrying a crazy person out of my head.
What if Demi really did get the help he was looking for?
Near the end of the diary, I remember he said that he went to a shrink at New Valley. “Hmm… New Valley, huh…?” I say to myself as my thumb switches to the browser application on my phone. I type in New Valley into the search bar. A few results come back for self-discovery books, and a TV channel about traveling. A few pages later, I find it: New Valley Counseling and Consultation Services LLC. “This must be it.” I whisper, clicking onto the address. It’s only a 15 minute drive from here.
After setting the directions on my phone, I spend exactly that much time driving there, often glancing down at my phone to make sure I’m not lost.
As I approach my destination, my eyelids start growing heavy. All this drama and stress has taken its toll on me and it’s pretty late by now. While trying to stay careful, I pull the car off to the side of the plaza where the office is. I can see the white letters of New Valley on the glass of the door from where I am. “Well, at least this place actually exists.” I say as I bring the phone back up to my face and cancel out of the map locator.
My other hand reaches down to adjust the recline on my seat, and I lay back, closing my eyes. I just want a little break from all this.
Subtlety and gradually, my guard drops. In just a few minutes, I drift off to sleep.
“Ma'am.. Ma'am?”
My eyes pop open at the sound of a man’s voice at my driver side window. I turn my head to see an elderly groundskeeper waving at me with gloves on.
“Ma’am, you can’t stay here in the Handicapped zone.” he says, motioning towards the blue painted curb next to me.
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” I squeal, hunching forward. Twisting my keys in the ignition quickly starts the car. The man smiles as he backs off. I turn my steering wheel forcing the car into a U turn and park on the other opposite side of the street.
Taking a deep breath, I stretch out and move my seat back up to its original position. “What the hell time is it?” I ask myself looking down at my phone, 6:00 a.m. I can’t believe I spent the entire night out here. Is this what my life has become? What has gotten into me?
I’m running from problems instead of taking them head on… Like I used to do everyday at the office. While the thought tries to fester in my mind, my vision gets stuck to the still tranquil sight of the empty town square.
The vacant morning scene is suddenly populated by a young brunette woman in a purple business casual suit approaching the office next to me. Following the sight of her entering the door reminds me that I’m still in front of the Sun Valley place.
Considering all those questions that kept popping up in my head earlier about Demi, I ponder about checking out this place mentioned in the diary. One hand gripping tight to the steering wheel and the other to my phone, I decide that’s why I’m here, after all.
“Alright, alright. Let’s get to the bottom of this.” I say to myself as I open the car door and start to get out of the car.
I hurry on to the sidewalk as I begin to head up towards the door after the brunette.
“Well, Jon or Demi. Let’s see if this place knows who you really are.”
The reception area is modestly small, reminding me of my dentist’s office. Simple furniture on simple carpet, and random magazines strewed across the coffee table. The young woman can be seen settling into her desk behind the glass reception window across the room.
“Hello there, miss.” she says with a light peppy voice.
A slight numbness in my chest starts to become apparent as I approach her glass panel. When she slides it open, the feeling begins to tighten a little, probably from me being nervous. Regardless, I start to say, “Uh hey. I was wondering if-”
